糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S03E04
Part 1
Jan. 3, 2021, 1:51 p.m.
恐怖都铎 华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
卑劣斯图亚特 邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
悲惨战役 凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights
昏暗古堡 英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights
恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description
凶狠凯尔特 可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
凶残维京 冷血罪行 远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times
罗马人 堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless
穴居人 野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless
绝妙古希腊 聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
卑鄙又卑微 就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages
血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we do that
且听鼠君对你说*
*And your host a talking rat
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
欢迎收看*
*Welcome to
第三季 第四集
糟糕历史
卑劣的斯图亚特王朝
英国内战双方分别是支持国王的保皇党
The English Civil War pitted the Royalist supporters of the King
和支持议会的圆颅党
against the Roundhead supporters of Parliament.
每人都有自己支持的一方
Everyone took sides,
连詹姆斯·欣德这种拦路抢匪也不例外
even highwaymen, like James Hind.
我们为什么就不能走大路呢
I don't know why we can't take the main road.
弄得我紧张兮兮的
It's making me nervous.
你不觉得走这条路能快点儿吗
It's quicker this way on foot, isn't it?
你不用担心 这条路很安全
Look, you don't need to worry, it's perfectly safe.
抢劫 站住 不给钱就要命
Stand and deliver, your money or your life!
我的结婚戒指给你
Take my wedding ring.
-等等 别这么沉不住气 -啥
- Hang on, let's not get ahead of ourselves. - What?
在抢劫正式开始之前
Before we get into the actual robbery,
我要先问几个小问题
there's just a few quick questions I need to ask.
你目前或曾经是圆颅党人吗
Are you, or have you ever, been a Parliamentarian
是否曾以任何方式反对查理一世
or in any other way opposed to King Charles?
-当然没有 -没有 我们是保皇党人
- Absolutely not. - No, we're Royalists.
那就好 我也算是保皇党人
Oh, that's good. Something of a Royalist myself.
-真的吗 -世界真小
- Really? - Small world.
谁说不是啊
Yeah, isn't it?
你觉得你现在是好运当头
Would you consider yourself to be enjoying good fortunes,
厄运当道 还是不知道
suffering bad fortunes, or don't know?
圆颅党人刚夺走了我整个庄园
My entire estate has just been taken over by Roundheads,
杀了我半数家人
half of my family have been killed
还烧了我的马车
and my carriage has been burnt to the ground.
那就是厄运当道了
Bad fortunes, then.
真是够糟心的 这里罪犯这么猖獗
Honestly, it's terrible here, all this crime.
还有最后一个问题 你觉得自己是很富有
Oh, last but not least, would you say you were really rich,
较富有 比较穷 还是非常穷
a bit rich, quite poor or very poor?
我就剩下这六便士了
Well, this is my last sixpence.
那就是非常穷了 好了
Very poor, righto!
总结下 你现在倒霉透了
To summarise, you're down on your luck
还穷得叮当响
and you don't have any money.
既然如此 也只能这样了
So then, I guess there's only one thing for it.
这袋金币能帮你渡过难关
Here's a bag of gold coins to tide you over.
詹姆斯·欣德会救济贫穷的保皇党人
抱歉 只是据我的经验
S-sorry, it's just traditionally, in my experience,
-一般抢劫不这样吧 -没错
- robberies don't work this way. - No.
你要是个圆颅党人
If you were a Parliamentarian,
事情就截然不同了
it'd be a very different story indeed,
但我正好对保皇党人颇有好感
but thing is, I've got a bit of a soft spot for fellow Royalists,
他只抢圆颅党人
尤其是时运不济的保皇党
especially if they're having a hard time.
拿着 塞靴子里吧
So come on, fill your boots.
谢谢
Thank you.
多谢
Thank you.
不客气
No problem.
所以说 我还是先撤了吧
Well, suppose I better shoot, so to speak.
[shoot也有"开枪"之意]
明白我意思了吧 一路顺风
See what I did then? Yeah, well mind how you go now.
-他人还不错啊 -真是好人
- Well, he seemed nice. - Absolutely charming.
抢劫 站住 不给钱就要命
Stand and deliver, your money or your life.
不用了 多谢 我们是保皇党人
No, thank you, we're Royalists.
没错 詹姆斯·欣德是个保皇劫匪
That's right, James Hind was a Royalist highwayman
只从议会支持者那里抢钱
who stole from the supporters of Parliament,
最终被圆颅党人杀害了
and eventually was killed by them too.
所以他没能活到理查二世登基
So he didn't survive to see the crowning of the next King Charles II,
不过若他真撑到了那一天
but if he had,
我打赌他也会想要个纪念品
I bet he would have wanted a souvenir.
一会他进来 你来讲 我就...
When he comes, you do the talking. I'll just start...
伦敦 1661年
他来了 他来了
He's coming, he's coming.
我都等不及了
I simply can't wait to see
你们为我的加冕仪式准备了什么
what you've made to celebrate my coronation.
-是 您不会失望的 -是什么
- Aye, you will not be disappointed. - Ooh, what is it?
我的油画像吗
An oil painting of me
作者是著名荷兰画家伦伯朗
by world renowned Dutch artist Rembrandt.
比那个还好 陛下
It's better than that, Your Majesty.
你们在威斯敏斯特教堂
Is it an image of me
挂了一副我的巨型彩绘玻璃画像吗
in a massive new stained glass window in Westminster Abbey?
-还要好 -不是吧
- Even better! - Oh, you haven't?!
是镶满钻石和红宝石的
It's a diamond and ruby encrusted
纯金国王雕像吗
solid gold statue of me.
-爱死你们了 快给我看看 -请看
- I love it, show me! - Ta-dah!
这是首个皇家加冕杯 陛下
It is the first ever royal coronation mug, Your Majesty.
真的哦
杯子
A mug?!
印着您尊容的杯子
A mug of your mug.
这上面印了我的脸
A mug with my face on it?
没错
Indeed.
天哪
Oh, dear!
好像出了点小事故
There appears to have been an accident.
笨蛋
-还算顺利吧 -才不算
- That went well. - No.
卑微的中世纪
历史版
时尚变身
时尚迷们 大家好
Hiya, fashion fans,
欢迎来到《历史版时尚变身》
and welcome to Historical Fashion Fix.
本周的嘉宾是一位中世纪农民
This week, I'll be making over a Middle Ages peasant
-欢迎 吉尔伯特 -大家好
- and here he is, Gilbert. - Hi.
停机 快停机
Oh, stop filming, stop filming!
闻着有股下水道堵了的味道
It smells like a blocked drain in here.
可能是因为我 抱歉
That might be me, sorry.
吉尔伯特 亲爱的 你从不洗衣服吗
Oh, Gilbert, my love. Do you never wash your clothes?
不 我亲爱的妻子 帕特
Oh, no. My lovely wife, Pat,
会用最好的清洁剂洗衣服
she washes them in the best stuff available.
-是什么 -陈尿
- What's that? - Old wee.
农民真这么干
给主持人来点嗅盐 再来杯低热摩卡
Smelling salts for the star and a skinny mocha!
我也想要
Can I get one of those?
历史版
时尚变身
好了 吉尔伯特 让我们看看
Right, Gilbert, let's see
能不能把你变身为中世纪贵族
if we can't turn you into a Middle Ages noble.
不过首要任务 得先把你清理干净
But first things first, let's get you cleaned up, darling.
历史版
时尚变身
-这样好多了 -我也觉得好多了
- Well, that is so much better. - Feels better, Lee.
-棒极了 -不过我只穿这些吗
- Great! - Er, only, is this all I get?
-感觉有点太暴露了 -当然不是
- Because I feel a little exposed. - Of course not.
还没给你穿上衣呢
You'll be wearing a tunic too.
历史版
时尚变身
上衣短了点吧
Tunic's a bit short.
短上衣在中世纪很时髦
Short tunics are the very latest Middle Ages fashion.
真实的中世纪时尚观
这鞋子呢
And these shoes?
这叫波兰尖头鞋 源自波兰
They're called poulaines, as they originated in Poland.
它们都是当下最时兴的东西
They're the very latest thing.
穿这走路很不方便啊 要是我...
Quite hard to walk in. If I...
-没事吧 -没事 还好
- You all right? - Yeah, I'm all right.
我们能改...能把鞋改一下吗
We'll fix the... Can we get the shoes fixed?
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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