糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S03E08

Part 4 Jan. 3, 2021, 1:52 p.m.

有幸能上学的都铎孩子
Tudor children who were lucky enough to go to school
有为期三个月的暑假
had a three-month summer holiday.
答案是
It's...
假的他们没有任何暑假
false, they had no summer holiday at all.
是的都铎时代的孩子们
Yep, kids had a pretty tough time of it
过得比较苦
in the Tudor era.
糟糕历史电视台
体育大看台
大家好我现在身在都铎时代
Hello, I'm here in Tudor times
巴里·坎特都铎现赛马现场直播
来了解他们的赛马运动
to learn more about Tudor horse racing
而最合适的介绍人莫过于
and who better to tell me about it
英格兰赛马的赞助人
than the patron of horse racing in England,
-亨利八世国王 -大家好
- King Henry VIII. - Hello.
亨利给我们讲讲今天的赛马比赛吧
So tell us about today's racing, Henry?
其实我得通知你们一声
Well, actually, I have to inform you
教皇要求
that the Pope has demanded
终止英国所有的赛马运动
an end to all horse racing in England.
天啊这么说赛马取消了吗
Oh, dear. So, um... so the racing's off, then?
开什么玩笑
Are you kidding?
我最喜欢给教皇捣蛋
There's nothing I like more than winding up the Pope.
不我们举办更多场赛马
No, we're gonna have more horse racing than ever.
这么说您非常喜欢这项运动是吗
So you're quite a big fan of the sport, then?
爱得不得了
Oh, I can't get enough of it.
目前在汉普顿宫的皇家牧场里
At the Royal paddocks of Hampton Court,
我的马棚里有两百匹马
I have a stable of 200 horses now,
最远的来自意大利和西班牙
from as far afield as Italy and Spain.
是真的
您的儿子也喜欢赛马运动吗
And does your son here share your interest in horseracing?
不他不是我儿子
Oh, good gracious, no. This isn't my son.
不是的话就太好了
No, chance would be a fine thing.
我的妻子们一直给我生女儿
Wives keep bearing me girls.
他只是我众多骑手中的一位
No, this is one of my jockeys.
您的骑手之一他只是个小孩子
One of your jockeys? That's a... That's a small child.
我知道你瞧
I know. You see,
马背上的重量越轻马就跑得越快
horses go faster the less weight they're carrying
没有比小孩更轻的骑手了
and there's no smaller jockey than a small child.
我说得对吗小孩
Isn't that right, small child?
亨利的确让小孩子做骑手
可对孩子来说赛马运动不是有些危险吗
But isn't horseracing a bit dangerous for children?
的确
Yes, it is!
我用掉的骑师比妻子还多
I get through more jockeys than I do wives.
似乎轮到你了小孩上吧
Ah, looks like you're on, small child. Off you go.
你最好获胜不要那么惊讶
Yeah, you better win! Well, don't look so shocked.
你以为谁是骑师我吗
Who do you expect to get on the horse, me?
当然想当年我可是骑马好手
Of course, in my day I was a fine horseman. Yes.
骑跳格斗打猎
Riding, jumping, jousting, hunting.
可是现在这
But now of course, it's...
陛下来点午前茶点吗
Pre elevenses snack, sire?
点一点二... 来个大的
Eenie, meenie, miney, big one.
可如今我想上马背的话还得借助起重机
Mm. Yeah, nowadays I have to use a hoist to get on a horse.
是真的
骑手们在等待起跑令
They're under starters orders...
开跑了
And they're off.
加油小孩加油
Go on, small child, go on!
他堕马了
And he's off.
亨利说真的应该有条法律
Really, Henry. There should be a law
禁用小孩子做骑手
against using small children as jockeys.
也许你说的对最好和国王商量一下
Yes, You're right, I suppose. I better ask the King about that.
等等我就是国王
Hang on a minute. I AM the King.
不准奏
No!
现在想看点斗鸡吗
Now, you fancy watching some cock-fighting?
是一项很棒的都铎运动项目
It's a wonderful Tudor sport.
两只小公鸡互斗至死
Two cockerels fighting to the death.
最后两只都要进我肚子里
Bagsy I get to eat the loser and the winner.
过来瞧瞧
Come on.
凶残的维京人
入侵他国是件体力活
Invading countries can be really hungry work,
所以我们维京人需要大量食物来维持体力
so we Vikings need lots of food to keep us going.
茸毛维京人之
冬日烹饪秀
[恶搞BBC美食旅游节目The Hairy Bikers' Cookbook]
吃货们好
Hello, food lovers!
我们是茸毛维京人
We are the Hairy Vikings.
赛还有不茸毛的维京人吗
Is there any other kind, Si?
戴夫应该没有了
I don't think so, Dave.
今天我们准备烹调
Now today we're going to be cooking
一道传统的维京冬日炖汤
a traditional Viking winter stew.
在斯堪的纳维亚的冬天
Now food can be in very short supply
食物可能十分短缺
in a Scandinavian winter,
所以这份食谱十分简单
so this recipe is really quite simple.
是的只需将你能找到的
Aye, you just get all the veggies
材料 - 任何你能找到的东西
所有蔬菜及鲜肉
and fresh meat you lay your hands on
扔进大锅里
and you chucks it in your cauldron.
如果你又找到一点东西一起丢进去
And then, if you find more, you just bung that in too.
方法 - 全部丢进锅里
这锅汤已经熬了一个多月
Oh, now this stew's been on the go for about a month or so
里面的肉炖的时间
and the meats been in there longer
比他留胡子的时间还长
than he's been growing his beard!
我尝到了鹅肉味好极了
There's a bit of goose in there. Lovely.
吃到一点野兔
Mm, there's hare in there.
[Hare野兔与Hair皮毛同音对方把Hare听成Hair]
看来我又脱发了
Oh, I must be moulting.
不我是说大野兔的"野兔"
No, I mean hare as in the big rabbits.
-好吃 -如此看来
- Tasty, yes. - By the looks of things,
我觉得里面应该还掺了点海象
I think we got a bit of walrus in there as well.
全是真实的维京食物
我喜欢掺点海象
Oh, I love a bit of walrus.
-喜欢掺点海象 -喜欢掺点海象
- Love a bit of walrus! - Love a bit of walrus!
戴夫还能再加点什么吗
Now Dave, what else can we add in there?
赛给你看看我们还有什么
I'll tell you what we got, Si.
这里有一只海鸥
Here we are, a seagull.
非常容易捕捉并且出乎意料地好吃
Nice and easy to catch and surprisingly very tasty.
好极了戴夫还有什么
Lovely! What else have we got, Dave?
就这些
Well, that's it.
现在是冬天食物本来就少
I mean, it's winter, so there's not much around.
这么一点东西
Well, that won't keep
可不够我们维京人保持体力
a couple of hairy Vikings like us going.
-我饿得可以生吞一匹大马 -我也是
- I mean, I could eat a horse. - So could I.
不是真的可以吃那匹马
No really, I could eat the horse.
你是说我们的杜斌吗
What, you mean like Dobbin? Our Dobbin?
不得已的戴夫
Well, needs must, Dave.
杜斌已不再勇猛而且现在是冬天
Dobbin's past it and it's winter.
把它丢进锅里
Into the pot he goes.
那干脆把那只北极熊给煮了呗
Why don't we put that polar bear in instead?
他们也吃马
-哪来的北极熊 -闻味而至的那只
- What polar bear? - The one that's got the scent of the stew!
下次我们要抓一只鲸鱼来煮
Next we'll be catching and cooking a whale.
我们需要一个更大的锅
We're going to need a bigger pot.
我们推测本土食物的短缺
It's thought that the shortage of food at home
迫使维京人侵略别国
forced the Vikings to invade other countries
撒克逊国王爱塞烈德二世
and Saxon King Aethelred the Unready
实在难以阻止他们进入英格兰
had real trouble keeping them out of England.
彩色玻璃窗
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国王爱塞烈德二世
艾尔佛基弗王后
访客
关闭计算机
您有一封新邮件
这是什么
Oh, what's this?
商业邀请
A business proposition.
亲爱的朋友我想和你做个
"Dearest friend, I have a legitimate and trustworthy
合法且值得信赖的交易
Business proposition for you.
请给我寄两万两千个金币作为回报
Please send 22,000 gold coins and in return,
我们维京人就不会去造访你
We Vikings won't be paying you a visit.
您值得信赖的奥拉夫一世
Yours very trustworthily, Olaf Tryggvason."
我最好给他打个电♥话♥
Better give him a call.
快点快点
Come on, come on.
应该是打劫去了
Must be out pillaging.