糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S03E01
Part 3
Jan. 3, 2021, 1:51 p.m.
and is hoping to wow the judges with some Aztec home cooking.
卡马候 今天你会为我们做什么呢
So, Kamaho, what are you cooking for us today?
我本来想用蟋蟀做前菜的
Well, I was going to do crickets as the starter.
阿兹特克人真吃蟋蟀
等下 有只蟋蟀跳到你头上了 别动
Oh, hang on, you've got one on your head. Don't move.
-没打着 -没事 至少你打到他了
- Missed. - No, I think you got him.
在他的前菜尽数逃跑掉之后
Now his starter has escaped,
卡马候必须用其余食材来打动评委了
Kamaho must impress the judges with the rest of his Aztec meal.
还有很多美味的阿兹特克食材可以选择
There are so many fantastic Aztec dishes to choose from.
鬣蜥蜴 蝾螈和吼猴
Iguana, salamander, howler monkey.
吼猴是什么
What's a howler monkey?
一种吼叫声很大的猴子
It's a monkey whose howl is so loud
在三英里[约五千米]外都能听见
it can be heard three miles away.
那它一定是地球上最吵的生物
Must be the loudest creature on Earth.
是最吵生物的之一
It's one of them.
-那是什么 -胡萝卜
- What's that? - Carrot.
我知道 我是卖♥♥蔬菜的
Yeah, I know. I was a greengrocer.
卡马候正在端上惊喜大作 热狗
Kamaho is serving up a main course of hot dog surprise.
我猜惊喜部分是 这真是用狗肉做的
Now, I suppose the surprise is it's real dog.
不会 不会 当然不是
Oh, no. Of course not.
我是说 这的确是用狗肉做的
I mean, it is real dog.
但我们阿兹特克人总是吃狗肉
We Aztecs eat dog all the time,
所以狗肉不算惊喜
so that's not the surprise.
真事
惊喜是我在这墨西哥薄饼中塞满了红辣椒
The surprise is I stuffed the tortilla full of red-hot chillies.
历史版厨艺大♥师♥
看到了评委们对他的主菜的反应后
After the reception for his main course,
卡马候把希望都寄托在了最后一道菜上
Kamaho is pinning his hopes on his final dish.
我觉得这菜很清新 很凉爽还很润滑
I'm getting freshness, I'm getting coolness. It's very soothing.
这到底是什么
What is it exactly?
青蛙卵和蝌蚪 还有湖沼泡沫饼
Frogspawn with tadpoles and lake scum biscuits.
如假包换的阿兹特克食物
历史版厨艺大♥师♥
卡马候 你的前菜逃跑了
Kamaho, your starter went missing,
你的主菜没法吃 你的甜点甚至没法碰
your main course was inedible, your dessert was untouchable.
但你对格雷格做的事让我很高兴
But I really like what you've done to Gregg.
因此 你可以成功晋级下一轮比赛
For that reason, you're through to the next round.
恭喜你 你也同意吧
Congratulations. You agree, don't you?
他说同意
That's a yes.
历史版厨艺大♥师♥
阿兹特克人喜欢吃一种
The Aztecs used to eat
没有毛发的小型犬
a special breed of small dog which had virtually no hair.
小狗在这种热带天气里用不着毛
The dogs didn't need it in the hot climate.
我也吃过狗肉的 但那根本没法消化
I ate some dog once, but I had trouble keeping it down.
快消化 快消化
Down boy, down. Ha, ha, ha!
但阿兹特克人很习惯吃狗肉 还有吼猴
Aztecs really did eat dog though, as well as howler monkeys.
我明白为什么我们总被阿兹特克人抓住了
I've worked out why we keep getting hunted by Aztecs.
是吗 那是为什么
Oh, have you? Why's that, then?
因为我们总是大吼大叫的 容易被发现
It's cos we make such a loud noise we're easy to find.
我懂了
Oh, I see.
所以我们现在才轻声细语
So that's why we're whispering.
正是如此
Precisely.
华丽的乔治王朝
[戏仿英国连锁旅馆Premier Inn的广♥告♥]
最舒适的床具
The comfiest of beds.
最美味的食物与五星服务
The tastiest of food and five-star service.
一旦进来就绝不想离开
Stay here and you won't want to leave.
事实上 你也没法离开
In fact, you won't be able to.
这里是监狱
It's a prison.
是的 就在纽盖特监狱
Yes, here at Newgate Prison,
纽盖特监狱
你可以体验乔治王朝最高级的奢华享受
you'll be able to enjoy the utmost Georgian luxury.
只要你付得起足够的钱
As long as you've got the money to pay for it.
是的 只要小小地出一点贿赂
Yes, in return for a simple bribe,
他们甚至能为你解开一会手铐
they'll unlock your manacles for a while,
解开手铐
允许访客单独拜访你的房♥间
let you receive visitors in your private room
允许私人访客
允许饲养宠物
甚至允许饲养自己的宠物
and even let you keep pets.
我想要一只猪
I'd like a pig.
猪不能养 它们太脏了
Pigs aren't allowed, filthy animals.
其实 在纽盖特监狱
In fact, here at Newgate Prison
纽盖特监狱
你可以拥有舒适奢华的生活
you can live in comfort and luxury.
只要你还有钱
As long as you don't run out of cash.
好了 小子
Right then, you.
从这间高级监房♥滚到通铺去
Let's get you out of this private room, get you in a crowded cell
和其他犯人挤在一块吧 快走
with the rest of the criminal scum. Come on!
你运气不错 刚倒出个空位
You're in luck, a room's just become available.
纽盖特监狱
Newgate Prison.
提前预定 以免错失良机
Book early to avoid disappointment.
如果你支付不起高级监房♥
If you couldn't afford the nice rooms,
纽盖特的环境就很让人恶心了
conditions in Newgate were quite disgusting.
房♥间里爬满了跳蚤和虱子 相信我
The prison was riddled with lice and fleas and, believe me,
我知道那是种什么样的感觉
I know what that feels like.
纽盖特是乔治时代最著名的监狱
So Newgate was the most famous Georgian prison,
我们接下来见识一下乔治时代最著名的罪犯
time to meet the most famous Georgian criminal -
迪克·特平
Dick Turpin.
别咬我
No biting, no biting.
[歌♥曲戏仿Adam and the Ants的Stand and Deliver]
人人都以为了解我*
*Everyone thinks they know the story
公路明星迪克·特平*
*Of Dick Turpin's highway glory
但事实真♥相♥更加血腥*
*But my past is far more gory
我本非圣人*
*I was no saint
生活正如一出滑稽剧*
*You think life is one big antic
而我的职业浪漫无比*
*My profession is romantic
不想老调迂腐装声势*
Hate to be pedantic
但事实并非如此*
But it ain't
埃塞克斯的屠夫出身*
*As a butcher down in Essex
让我用刀如有神*
*I was handy with a knife
兼♥职♥做过盗猎者*
*Had a side-line as a poacher
谎话早就说惯了*
*Led a less than honest life
格里高利帮的坏蛋*
*The notorious gang of Gregory
都喜欢我的格调与专注*
*Liked my style and dedication
他们纳我入伙 教我强盗如何过活*
*They signed me up and gave me a real robber's education
踏遍埃塞克斯的农庄*
*We rampaged through the Essex farms
烧杀劫掠无恶不作*
*We stole and robbed and fought
可一旦法律来制裁*
*But when the law came for us
他们被抓我总能跑开*
*I escaped and they got caught
我成了公路劫犯*
*I became a highway man
青♥天♥白♥日♥也出手*
*Was daylight robbery.
我本不是白马王子*
*I was no Prince Charming
不谈风度和举止*
*Nothing dandy about me
其实我偏爱血腥和暴♥力♥*
*The truth is I was violent
和好兄弟马特·金一起*
*And with my good mate Matt King
枪口指着旅行者们打劫*
*Robbed travellers at gunpoint
金子 名表 什么都可以*
*Money, watches, anything
我的爱马不叫黑贝丝*
*My horse it wasn't called Black Bess
那是你们附会的名字*
*Although that's what you've read
我不是浪漫主义英雄*
*Was no romantic hero
是能杀一双不杀一个的杀人狂*
*Shot not one but two men dead
关于我的传言*
*The legend that surrounds me
漏了最重要的一点*
*Misses out the crucial part
我是暴虐杀人狂*
*I was a ruthless killer
有着暴虐嗜杀的心*
# With a ruthless killer's heart
我是罪恶的公路劫犯*
*Was a vicious highwayman
人们痛哭和眼泪的来源*
*A source of pain and tears.
若你听到我的故事如何终结*
*When you hear how my story ends
你将很难信任自己的听觉*
*You won't believe your ears.
我流亡到了约克郡*
*I ran away to Yorkshire
改名叫约翰·帕尔默*
*Changed my name to John Palmer
农场偷鸡*
*Was sent to prison
关进监狱*
*after stealing chickens from a farmer
写信回家*
*Wrote a letter to my family
讲述请求*
*A plea it did relate
邮差见信*
*The postman saw the envelope
命运转折*
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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