糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S03E10
Part 2
Jan. 3, 2021, 1:52 p.m.
because in the year 410, the unthinkable happens,
公元410年
太想不到了 以至于
so unthinkable, in fact,
我想不起来了 是什么来着
that I can't think of it. What was it now?
对了 罗马帝国坍塌了
Oh, I know! The Roman Empire crumbles.
罗马帝国
从英国撤了出去
The Romans leave Britain
[有些人习惯外出或睡觉时将猫赶出屋外]
喊着"别忘了把猫放出去"什么的
with the line, "Don't forget to put the cat out," something like that,
防火防盗
那时才是麻烦的开始
and that's when the problems really start.
罗马人走后
With the Romans gone,
在苏格兰的皮克特人决定入侵英格兰
the Picts from up in Scotland decide to invade England,
[为现代威尔士人祖先的凯尔特人]
所以不列颠国王沃蒂根
so the king of the Britons, Vortigern,
从那边的丹麦和德国雇了许多士兵
hires a load of warriors from Denmark and Germany, places over there,
帮他击退皮克特人
to help him fight off the Picts.
在这些士兵中的亨吉斯特和霍萨
Amongst these warriors are Hengist and Horsa,
亨吉斯特
霍萨
他们觉得自己实在太喜欢英国了
who decide that they like Britain so much,
所以想要占领一部分
they'd quiet like to keep some of it.
幸运的是 亨吉斯特有个非常漂亮的女儿
Luckily, Hengist has a very beautiful daughter,
所以在这个历史上最荒诞的交易中
so, in one of the weirdest deals in the whole of history,
他将女儿嫁给了沃蒂根国王
he offers King Vortigern his daughter's hand in marriage
得到了肯特郡作为回报
in return for Kent
是的 肯特郡 那仅仅是个开始
yep, Kent - and that's just the start of it.
肯特
发觉英格兰的领土这么容易获得
So, seeing how easy it is to get your hands on English lands,
丹麦人和德国人纷涌而至
there are Danes and Germans everywhere.
[昂格尔恩是德国某地名]
德国昂格尔恩的侵略者接管了中部和北部
Invaders from the German district Angeln take over the Midlands and the north.
[萨克森位于德国东部]
同时萨克森的侵略者接管了大块的南部
Meanwhile invaders from Saxony take over huge chunks of the south.
是的 英格兰被盎格鲁人和撒克逊人占领了
Yes, England gets overrun with Angles and Saxons,
于是就变成了盎格鲁-撒克逊
making it officially Anglo-Saxon,
盎格鲁-撒克逊
你以为这名字是编的吗
and you thought we'd just made that term up!
现在知道了 故事终结 山穷水尽了
So there we have it, let's say, end of the story, end of the line,
穷途末路了 最后一舞 最后机会
end of the pier, last dance, last chance,
关灯 赶猫 没了
lights off, cat's out, done.
但没过多久
But not for long.
在盎格鲁-撒克逊统治下 英国大变样
Under Anglo-Saxon rule, Britain changes shape entirely,
显然改变的不是边界 是内部
that obviously not around the edges. Inside, though,
全都变了 因为盎格鲁撒克逊侵略者
it's all change as the Anglo-Saxon invaders
把他们的新土地划分为七个主要的国家
shape their newly one lands into seven major kingdoms
叫韦塞克斯 艾塞克斯 苏塞克斯等
called Wessex, Essex and Sussex and so on.
但对盎格鲁-撒克逊人来说并非一帆风顺
But it's not all plain sailing for the Anglo-Saxon.
众所周知 尽管他们尽了最大的努力
As is all known, despite their best effort,
但仍不能征服苏格兰得到太妃糖
they can't conquer Scotland for toffee -
高地太妃糖
可惜了 苏格兰的太妃糖棒极了
which is a shame, as Scotland's got great toffee -
而在西方的未被征服的王国
while the other unconquered kingdoms over here in the west
对新邻居的到来并不表示欢迎
aren't exactly thrilled about the new neighbours.
事实上 关系恶劣到麦西亚国王奥法
In fact relations get so bad that King Offa of Mercia,
他的盎格鲁撒克逊王国就在这块棕色♥区♥域
an Anglo-Saxon kingdom shown here in puce,
管它什么颜色 挖了一条巨大的壕沟
whatever color that is, builds a giant ditch,
切断了英国西部与其他部分的联♥系♥
cutting off the west Britain from the rest of Britain,
这就是现在威尔士的边界
creating the border of what we now call Wales.
现在我们知道苏格兰 威尔士
So there we have it, Scotland, Wales,
盎格鲁撒克逊英格兰融洽地做了邻居
Anglo-Saxon England all sitting side by side in perfect harmony,
除了一些谩骂和奇怪的局部战争外
bar a little name-calling and the odd local war.
但好景不长 是的 公元865年
But not for long. Yes. It's 865,
公元865年
锁上你的修道院 因为维京人来啦
and lock up your monasteries, because here come the Vikings!
立即接管了所有主要盎格鲁-撒克逊王国
In no time, they take over every major Anglo-Saxon kingdom
韦塞克斯
除了韦塞克斯 艾尔弗雷德大帝的家乡
except for this one, Wessex, home of Alfred the Great,
他显然对自己评价很高 且理由很充分
who clearly has a high opinion of himself, and for good reason,
我很棒
因为阿尔菲和他的家族
because Alfie and his family
竟然成功地阻挡了维京人
actually managed to hold back the Vikings.
但没过多久
But not for long.
其实是很长一段时间 但这不是重点
Well, it's for quite a while. But that's not the piont.
最终艾塞雷德二世当了国王
No, eventually Aethelred the Unready becomes King
并且厌倦了维京人时不时
and gets so sick of the constant Viking attacks
攻其不备的入侵
that he's presumably never ready for
我还没准备好
于是决定杀掉英格兰所有的维京人
that he decides to kill every Viking in England,
[他的妻子]
包括挪威国王的姐妹
including the King of Norway's sister,
毫不奇怪 这惹火了挪威国王
which unsurprisingly doesn't go down too well with the King of Norway,
他迅速入侵了英格兰
who promptly invades England,
我错了
抢了艾塞雷德的皇冠成了第一个维京国王
takes Aethelred's crown and becomes the first in the line of Viking King.
[Harthacnut音似half a Canute 半个卡纽特]
接下来是卡纽特 哈德克努特
There's Canute, there's Harthacnut,
四分之一个卡纽特 除了最后一个
there's a quarter of a Canute - except not the last one -
直到1042年 英格兰人才重登王位
until, in 1042, an Englishman gets the throne again.
是忏悔者爱德华 然后他死了
It's Edward the Confessor, hurray! And he then goes and dies, boo!
有三个人开始争夺王位
Three different people start fighting over who should replace him.
一个英格兰人 一个诺曼人和一个维京人
An Englishman, a Norman and a Viking,
听起来像要开始讲笑话了 但真的不是
which sounds like a start of a joke, but it really isn't,
尤其是英格兰人哈罗德·葛温森
especially for the Englishman, Harold Godwinson,
他得到王位后立刻被另两人攻击
who takes the crown and is immediately set upon by the other two.
当他忙于抵抗北面这里的维京人的时候
While he's busy fighting off the Viking one up here,
诺曼人征服者威廉 从南面开始了攻击
the Norman one, William the Conqueror, attacks down there.
是的 1066年的黑斯廷斯战役
Yes, in 1066, the Battle of Hastings,
不仅仅标志着哈罗德统治的尽头
which signals not only the end of Harold,
也是盎格鲁-撒克逊英格兰的尽头
but also the end of the Anglo-Saxon England altogether,
码头的尽头 线的尽头 路的尽头
the end of the pier, the end of the line, the end of the road,
我们世界的尽头 如果我不冷静下来
the end of the world we know, and unless I calm down,
下几秒钟可能也是亲爱的鲍勃的尽头
seriously in the next few seconds it might well be the end of dear old Bob.
太迟了
Oh, it's too late!
我错了 这只是心口痛 心口痛
My mistake, it's just heartburn.It's just heartburn.
我们回到演播厅 萨姆
Back to you, Sam.
我们撒克逊人被诺曼公爵征服者威廉击败
We Saxons were defeated by Norman duke William the Conqueror.
他心狠手辣 总是为所欲为
He was a pretty ruthless character, and he always got his own way.
他是凶狠 傲慢的诺曼公爵
He was the vicious, arrogant Norman duke
主演 诺曼底公爵 威廉
有朝一日会统治英格兰
who would one day rule England.
真的吗 很好 我喜欢英格兰
Oh, really? Good, I like England!
除了那儿的天气 食物 还有当地人
Apart from the weather. Oh, and the food. And the people.
她是法国国王的美丽孙女
She was the beautiful granddaughter of the French king.
主演 法国公主 玛蒂尔达
爷爷 我可以要一匹小马吗
Grandpapa, can I have a pony?
-好 给你一百匹 -我爱你爷爷
- Yes, have 100 ponies. - I love you, Grandpapa.
当威廉向她求婚
And when William asked for her hand in marriage,
得到的永远只有这一个回答
there was only ever going to be one answer.
没门 我怎么可能屈尊嫁给那种臭公爵
No way. I'm way too posh for that stinky Duke William.
我打算嫁给一个王子什么的
I'm going to marry a prince or something.
但是威廉不会接受拒绝
But William wouldn't take "non" for an answer.
他开始了一段赢得美丽公主芳心的旅程
He set off on a journey to win the heart of the beautiful princess.
站起来
Stand up.
我站着呢
I am standing up.
你太娇小了
Wow, you're very small.
[约127厘米]
我身高只有4英尺 你想干什么
Yeah, I'm, like, four-foot. What do you want?
我想让你嫁给我
I want you to marry me.
我永远都不会嫁给你
I will never marry you.
我们走着瞧
We'll see about that.
威廉公爵用尽他所有魅力来让
Duke William used all his charm to make
玛蒂尔达爱上他
Matilda fall in love with him.
嫁给我
Marry me!
不
No!
嫁给我
Marry me!
不
No!
嫁给我
Marry me!
-好吧 -太棒了
- OK. - Great!
等一下
Now, hang on a minute.
-这是怎么回事 -什么
- What was all that about? - All what?
你拉她头发 还把她推到泥里
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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