解释一切（2018）

就像是纪念仪式
[Palmer] Like a memorial.
在街区看到纪念仪式的时候 你会说
[Penny] When you see a memorial in your neighborhood, you're saying,
“这个人去了一个更好的地方 但这件坏事已经发生了”
"This person moved on to a better place, but this negative thing happened."
政♥府♥也接纳了恢复性司法模式
[Palmer] Governments have embraced restorative justice models, too.
南非的真♥相♥与和解委员会
South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission,
或称TRC 就是最出名的例子
or TRC, is the most famous example.
该组织由大主教德斯蒙德图图主持
Chaired by Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
旨在修补种族隔离后的裂痕
it was an effort to heal after apartheid
方式为收集已发生罪案的受害者证词
by gathering testimony from victims about the crimes that had taken place
并对站出来说出全部真♥相♥的
and granting amnesty to perpetrators,
肇事者予以特赦
who came forward and told the whole truth.
第一批受害者作证时 大约百分之四十的
Approximately 40% of South Africans watched
南非人都在观看
as the first victims testified,
受害者中包括一名叫诺蒙德的女性
including a woman named Nomonde.
我很早就知道
I knew for a very long time
我丈夫是被国♥家♥安♥全♥警♥察♥杀害的
that my husband has been killed by the State Security police.
我真的很想在公开场合说
That I really wanted to say in public.
1985年
[Palmer] In 1985,
诺蒙德的丈夫福特卡拉塔
Nomonde's husband, Fort Calata,
和其他三个反种族隔离活动家
along with three other anti-apartheid activists,
被殴打、刺伤
had been beaten, stabbed,
被遗弃在一辆被烧毁的车里
and left in a burnt-out car.
没有人为此承担责任
No one was ever held accountable.
[wailing in despair]
大主教德斯蒙德图图
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
把她的哭声叫做 “TRC的决定性声音”
called her cry "the defining sound of the TRC."
我接受不了这件事
[Nomonde] I just couldn't take it.
在我们的婚姻中
I never had
我和我丈夫一直
enough time with my husband
都没时间相处
in our marriage.
时间太快了 太短了
It was too quick and too short.
每天我都感觉像是发生在昨天
Every day, it feels as if it just happened yesterday.
她代表了 没有宣泄机会的
She represented each and every other woman
每一位女性
who never had a cathartic moment.
几个月之后 TRC联♥系♥了诺蒙德
[Palmer] A few months later, the TRC contacted Nomonde.
有个人站出来了
Someone had come forward.
他的名字叫埃里克泰勒
[Nomonde] With the name of Eric Taylor.
他承担下杀害福特卡拉塔的
He's fully taking responsibility
所有罪责
of killing Fort Calata.
诺蒙德看着埃里克泰勒 说出自己的供词
[Palmer] Nomonde watched as Eric Taylor gave his testimony.
我从背后打了卡拉塔先生
[translator] I hit Mr. Calata from behind
用了一个很重的铁器
with this heavy iron object,
然后把两具尸体都点燃了
and I set both these bodies alight.
他是被教唆杀人的
[Palmer] He'd been ordered  to commit the murders,
但他拒绝说是被谁指使的
but refused to say by whom.
他问我是否能原谅他
[Nomonde] He asked me, will I forgive him?
我心里确实为原谅这种事 留有一席之地
I do have a place in my heart for forgiveness,
但我要怎么原谅你呢？
but how can I forgive you,
你还在说谎
who is still lying?
TRC拒绝了埃里克泰勒的赦免申请
[Palmer] The TRC denied Eric Taylor's amnesty application,
但他从未被真正起诉
but he was never actually prosecuted.
到他出现在大家面前
[Nomonde] Until the day when you come up and tell the truth
讲出事实的那天
in front of everyone,
因为杀死我丈夫而被惩罚
and you get your punishment for killing my husband,
之后我才会重新思考要不要原谅
then I will rethink of forgiveness after that.
我现在不会说
I will not go so far as to say that
每种人都需要原谅才能得到治愈
every type of person requires forgiveness to be able to heal.
有些人可能需要复仇 才更容易痊愈
Some people might heal more from being vengeful,
有些人通过不提及还有逃避 会更容易痊愈
some people might heal more from just avoiding it and pushing it away,
因为这样可以尽可能远离 他们的记忆 还有日常生活
as far away from their memory and their daily life as they possibly can.
真♥相♥的本质就是我们得到治愈
[Dorothy] The essence of truth will be our healing.
那些忙着
Whoever is running around,
不让我们知道真♥相♥的人
depriving us of that truth
会给我们的生活带来永久性的创伤
is perpetuating the trauma in our lives.
能让我们度过创伤的部分
[Sered] Part of what helps us come through trauma
是连贯叙述的形成
is the formation of a coherent narrative.
讲述出故事是如何发生的
Like a story about what happened
那个故事描述了一个 我们可以生活的世界
that describes a world that we can live in.
当我们开始讲述这个故事的时候
[Brandon] When we begin to talk about the story,
我跟唐解释
I explained that to Don
然后他们也从自己的角度解释
and then they explained to me from their perspective.
那时我知道他们的道歉是真心实意的
That's when I knew it was genuine.
所道之事并不一定总是公认的
It's not always a universal narrative.
这其中有时会有隔阂
It sometimes still has gaps in it,
这其中也会有对立
it still has tensions in it,
但它确实能承受你的负担
but it's true enough that it can bear your weight.
（解放南非）
在社会上
[Palmer] As societies,
我们会告诉自己 有人被冤枉了
the stories we tell ourselves about who's been wronged
有些东西需要修正 但这些事实是一直在变化的
and what needs righting, they shift all the time.
就在过去的几年里
In just the last few years,
女性性骚扰被广泛认为
the sexual harassment of women became widely recognized
是普遍而又严重的问题
as a pervasive and serious problem.
在2020年夏天 警方杀害乔治弗洛伊德
And the killing of George Floyd by police in the summer of 2020,
以及由此引发的全球抗♥议♥和对话
and the worldwide protests and conversations it sparked,
使数百万美国人信服
convinced millions more Americans
种族歧视是他们国家的重大问题
that racial discrimination was a big problem in their country.
大家可能把这个时代称为道歉的时代
People might call this the age of apology,
但在2020年 《纽♥约♥时♥报♥》报道的道歉数量
but in 2020, there were roughly the same number of apologies
和2010年的数量大致相同
reported in The New York Times as in 2010.
真正的改变是人们道歉的内容
The real change was what people were apologizing for,
其中包括不久前 没被当成错误行为的事情
including things that not so long ago they didn't see as wrong.
我当时不认为这是种族歧视行为
I didn't consider it a racist action at the time,
但现在我们更清楚了
but now we know better,
这是无法接受的种族歧视
and this was something that was unacceptable and, yes, racist.
我回想起自己随意说话的一些方式
I look back today at some of the ways I've talked casually
关于人的 还有性别认知的 性取向的
about people, and gender identity, and sexual orientation,
我都会迷惑那个人是谁
and I wonder who that even was.
我现在看到我们应该早些行动
I now see that we could and should have acted sooner
更快地停止拦截的行为
and acted faster to cut the stops.
很抱歉我们并没有这么做
I'm sorry that we didn't.
我们的希望是 总体上 当大家在处理
The hope is overall that when you're dealing
一种真正根深蒂固的危机型情况时
with a real deep-rooted, crisis-type situation
也就是有人被某人的言行所伤害
where people were really hurt by something someone said or did,
他们总能找到出路
that there's a way to be able to find your way back
让他们的客户甚至自己学到东西
where you can have your client or even yourself learn about things.
公开道歉可能是种表演
[Palmer] Public apologies might be a performance,
但也是一种衡量我们价值的方式
but they're also a measure of our values
而且能让这些价值传播出去
and can actually help those values spread.
贾斯汀汀布莱克和珍妮杰克逊向美国道歉17年后
Seventeen years after Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson apologized to America,
贾斯汀汀布莱克 向珍妮特杰克森道歉
Justin Timberlake apologized to Janet Jackson
说他得益于一个宽恕女性歧视和种族歧视的体制
for benefiting from a system that condones misogyny and racism.
道歉需要时间
Apologies can take time.
很可能你还欠一个道歉 因为你还没准备好
There's a good chance you owe one that you aren't ready to give,
因为它们比选项更重要
because they're more than just boxes you can check.
我想鼓励大家把这看作一种
I would like to encourage people to consider it an action
自己掌控命运的一种方式
that allows you to take control of your fate in your own way.
这是很勇敢的行为
It's a pretty courageous thing to do.
让我感到有歉意的是 我们之间的相似点
What made me feel apologetic was the connection
我知道他是一个有爱的人
and knowing he was a human being who loved,
一个有梦想的人 像我一样想拥有美好事物的人
who dreamed, and wanted great things just like I did.
相似到我想说 我很抱歉
Relate enough to be, like, I'm sorry.
我对自己造成的结果 还有自己的所作所为感到抱歉
I'm sorry for what I've caused, for what I've done.
很抱歉对你家庭造成的影响
I'm sorry for the ripple effects it has caused to your family.
我很快就接受了 因为我想做这件事
I accepted it immediately 'cause I wanted this.
我准备好了 也愿意这样做
I, I was ready and willing.
我把那天当成是礼物也当成是诅咒
I look at that day as a gift and a curse,
因为我本可以和别人有那样的相遇
because I could have had that encounter with someone else,
而且事情不会变成这样 这帮助我成熟了很多
and it wouldn't have played out like this. And it helped me mature a whole lot.
他现在是我哥哥了
And that's my brother now.
那件事情让两个陌生人结识了
That situation brought two strangers together.