解释一切（2018）

2004年
[narrator] In 2004,
卡罗莱纳黑豹队 对阵新英格兰爱国者队
the Carolina Panthers faced off against the New England Patriots.
这被认为是超级碗有史以来 最精彩的比赛之一
It's considered one of the best Super Bowl games ever played,
但它被载入史册却另有原因
but it went down in history for another reason.
许多在CBS电视台观看比赛的观众 看到了意想不到的一幕
[man] Many who watched the game on CBS saw something they weren't expecting
在中场表演时 舞台左边的歌♥手 珍妮杰克逊走光了
during the halftime show that left singer Janet Jackson overexposed.
意外或是计划好的噱头
Accident or planned shock stunt,
还是表演服装出了问题 无论何种情况…
or wardrobe malfunction. Whatever it was…
CBS电视台的母家维亚康姆
Viacom, which owns CBS,
将会赔偿55万美元
will have to pay 550,000 dollars.
隔天珍妮杰克逊道歉了
[narrator] The next day, Janet Jackson apologized.
如果有冒犯到任何人
I am really sorry
我要表示歉意 我真的不是故意的
if I offended anyone. That was truly not my intention.
但媒体依然不依不饶
[narrator] But the media couldn't get enough.
一名贾斯汀汀布莱克的“朋友”
A, quote, "friend" of Justin Timberlake
匿名向小报举报
anonymously told tabloids
她对他说谎了 还利用了他
she lied to him and had taken advantage of him
好保住自己的事业
to keep her career alive.
舆♥论♥就基于这个主流说法 劈头盖脸地将矛头珍妮杰克逊
Which was part of a pile-on that Janet Jackson was to blame.
（珍妮杰克逊就是这样的人）
第二周 贾斯汀道歉的时候
And the next week, when Justin apologized,
他用了一句笑话开场
he opened with a laugh line.
听着 我知道上周大家都不好过
Listen, I know it's been a rough week on everybody,
而且…
and… -[laughter]
而且几乎忍♥不住笑了
[narrator] And could hardly hold back his smirk.
发生的事情不是故意为之
What occurred was unintentional,
我感觉十分后悔
completely regrettable,
如果大家感觉被冒犯 那我道歉
and I apologize if you guys were offended.
放在现在这都不算道歉
[narrator] That wouldn't fly as an apology today.
我们处在一个道歉的时代
We are in an age of apology.
我们一看新闻
We cannot read the news
就能看到新的道歉新闻
without learning about a new public apology that's been offered.
来自政客的
[narrator] From politicians,
名人的
celebrities,
甚至还有政♥府♥的 他们都为之前的过错道歉
and even governments apologizing for past crimes.
我认为大家的担忧之一
I think one of the concerns people may have
是道歉太多了
is that with there being so many apologies out there
可能就不太有效了
that they may be less effective.
这叫标准稀释
[Schumann] Something called normative dilution.
人们道歉越多
[narrator] The more people apologize,
我们就越期望道歉
the more we expect apologies,
我们就越不容易原谅他人
but the less willing we are to forgive.
大家见识的东西越多
As people get more sophisticated
看到这些类型的道歉越多 期望值就越高
and see more of these type of apologies, they do hope for more.
他们期望找到一种迹象 表明那个人是真心道歉的
They hope for some sign that it's actually coming from the person's heart.
所以 真诚的道歉是什么样子的呢？
[narrator] So, what makes a good apology,
它们有什么力量？
and what power do they really hold?
我真的非常抱歉
I can't tell you how sorry I am.
对于迟到原因
[woman] He'll probably have a perfectly good explanation
他必须给出一个完美的解释
for why he was so late.
然后他还要道歉 -道歉！
Then he'll apologize. -Apology!
今天我们齐聚在此代表我国致歉
We come together today to offer our nation's apology.
我必须为自己的所有行为全权负责
I must take complete responsibility for all my actions.
我不是来道歉的
[man] I did not come here to apologize.
我不会改变我的想法 我不会觉得内心有愧
I'm not gonna change my mind and I'm not going to be apologetic about it.
这个机会能够让你将过去抛诸脑后
This is an opportunity to put the past behind you.
剧名：道歉
“原谅我吧 上帝 我有罪”
[Palmer] "Forgive me, God, for I have sinned."
据我们所知 几千年以来
For thousands of years in the English-speaking world,
在英语国家中 这是唯一的道歉
as far as we can tell, these were the only apologies.
也就是向更高的权威道歉
Apologies to a higher power.
一位研究人员分♥析♥了 所有古英语现存文章
A researcher analyzed all the surviving texts in Old English
他没有找到任何关于道歉 货真价实的例子
and couldn't find any genuine instance of apologizing.
接着 在16世纪90年代
But then, in the 1590s,
莎士比亚写下了这些话
Shakespeare wrote these words:
“陛下 不需要如此道歉”
"My lord, there needs no such apology."
“我恳请陛下原谅我”
"I do beseech your Grace to pardon me."
这是现代意义上“道歉”的初次使用
It was the first known use of "apology" in the modern sense
这兴起了一种新仪式
and a whole new ritual,
向我们的朋友表现内心的忏悔
performing our inner contrition to our fellow man.
道歉很难
It's difficult to apologize,
尤其是用真诚、有意义的方式
and it's difficult to apologize in a sincere, meaningful way.
但通常其中要包含几个要素
[Palmer] But there's usually a handful of key elements.
第一点 对悔恨的表达
First, an expression of remorse.
想到道歉的时候 我们马上能想到这个
So, this is what we think of when we think about what an apology is.
“对不起 我道歉 我感觉很愧疚” 这类的话
"I'm sorry. I apologize. I feel terrible." Those types of statements.
第二个
[Palmer] Number two.
承认因为自己的行为
Acknowledging the harm and suffering the victim experienced
让被冒犯者遭受了伤害和痛苦
as a result of our actions.
这会帮助他们感到被认可和理解
That helps them feel validated and understood.
人们也会想要真正地去承担责任
You also really want to take responsibility.
对被冒犯者的心理来说 听到这样的话很重要
It's really psychologically important for the victim to hear that.
解释自己的行为会有帮助
[Palmer] Offering an explanation for your behavior can help.
然后 抱歉接下来的步骤是…
And then, to move forward…
提出修复关系或者承诺改变
[Schumann] An offer of repair or commitment to change.
最后 请求原谅
[Palmer] And finally, a request for forgiveness.
在卡丽娜的研究中
In Karina's research,
大家通常会说
people usually say they include four or five of these elements
自己在日常道歉中 能表达出四到五种要素
in their everyday apologies.
但在现实生活中 通常只有两种
But in reality, it's typically just two.
人们会在想做正确的事情
[Schumann] You are battling this push and pull between wanting to do the right thing,
并想要修复这段关系 让他人感觉更好
wanting to repair the relationship, wanting to make the other person feel better,
和希望保护自己 作为好人的身份之间挣扎
but also protecting your self-identity as a good person,
不仅是针对别人而言的好人 也是针对自己而言的
not only to the other person, but also to yourself.
这样会感觉很不舒服
That can be very uncomfortable.
公开道歉是更难的表演
[Palmer] And public apologies can be an even trickier performance.
很难满足几百万的观众
It's hard to satisfy an audience of millions.
是否道歉会经过很多深思熟虑
There are a ton of considerations when one's deciding whether to apologize.
其中最重要的因素之一 就是对你最重要的观众
One of the most important is the audience that matters the most to you.
马修希尔兹克是很多
[Palmer] Matthew Hiltzik is a crisis manager
明星客户的危机公♥关♥
with a lot of star clients.
这是一个蓬勃发展的事业
It's a thriving business.
我要接电♥话♥ 我需要马上接电♥话♥
I'm gonna answer this. I need to just take a call in a second.
我去接电♥话♥了 我马上就回来
Let me do this, and I'll come right back.
我可以暂停一会儿吗？ 抱歉 我只需要…
Can I pause for one second? I apologize. I just need…
抱歉要中断 这应该不会花太长时间
I apologize for these breaks. This should not hopefully take very long.
比我想的要忙
Little busier than I thought.
今天真是太不走运了
Yeah, it's just one of these days.
我要提前道歉
I apologize in advance.
大家也能够看出来 当名人坐在沙发上的时候
You've seen a significant reduction in the big get of an interview,
采访的重大意义已经显著减弱了
where you have the celebrity on the couch.
今天我就是来承认过错 并且为此道歉的
I'm sitting here today to acknowledge that and to say I'm sorry for that.
我只想道歉
I just want to apologize.
对不起 我不值得 也不企求大家的原谅
I'm sorry, and I don't deserve or expect your forgiveness.
他们不是在接受别人的采访
They're not taking the chance of having to subject themselves
他们不是在接受别人的采访
to the interview process from others.
他们有机会用前所未有的方式
They have the chance to be able to speak directly to their audiences
直接与观众交流
in a way that never happened in the past.
在直面镜头的视频中 这是另一种表演方式
[Palmer] Which is a different kind of performance in direct-to-camera videos.
我对被冒犯的人深感歉意
I'm very sorry to anybody who's taken offense.
我要向被我伤害的人道歉
I'm sorry to everyone that I hurt.
我道歉
I apologize.
或者是通过手♥机♥备忘录写出的
[Palmer] Or statements given a personal touch
具有个人色彩的声明
by writing them on the iPhone Notes app,
截个屏接着发到社交网络
taking a screenshot and posting that to social media.
所以一方面来说 这很不错 因为这种方式简单得多
And so on the one hand, it's great, because it's a lot easier.
你可以表达自己的观点 还可以按自己的方式来说
You can just say what you want to say and exactly how you want to say it.
但即使有额外的控制
[Palmer] But even with that extra control,
也有很多人依然很难达到这些标准
a lot of people still struggle to hit these marks.
人们犯的最大的错误就是 在道歉的时候会揉进
The biggest mistake that people make when apologizing is to interweave
一些自卫的因素在里面
little defensive components in there