丹尼将孤独终老（2024）

约莫一小时后他回到钢管舞台
After an hour or so he was back on his box,
我买♥♥了支舞 后来嘛 你们都知道了
and I bought a dance, and, well, the rest is history.
美好的八年
Eight beautiful years.
哇 真是...
Wow. That's...
那可真是神奇
That is magical.
而现在你在这儿了
And now you're here.
噢别担心 本吉
Oh don't worry, Benji.
不会太久的
Not for long.
就这样吧 各位
And that's that, folks.
很遗憾地说 这集结尾有点虎头蛇尾
Sorry to say, bit of an anti-climatic end to the episode.
在经历了和那两位约会的极度恐怖一小时后
After subjecting myself to the abject horror of a date with those two for the last hour,
我决定直接回家
I decided to just come home.
要知道 雅各布的鸡♥巴♥再好看也没用
You know, it didn't matter how nice Jacob's cock looked,
尽管你们知道我有多期待见到它
and you know how much I was looking forward to meeting it,
因为我有自己的优先级 懂吗?
because I have my priorities, right?
我珍惜自己的时间
I value my time.
我在寻找真命天子 明白?
I'm looking for my person, right?
所以和那两位相处的每分每秒 都是耽误我找到他的时间
So any time that I spent with those two was time wasted not out there finding him.
所以到头来 雅各布那根粗壮多汁的鸡♥巴♥再诱人也无所谓
So in the end, it didn't matter how thick and juicy Jacob's cock looked.
你们懂的 明明那么粗却还那么长 而且...
You know, how long it was despite how girthy, and...
我是说它一直在滴前列腺液
I mean it was just leaking pre-cum constantly.
就像顶端挂着的小露珠
Just like a little bead at the tip that would just
会顺着沉甸甸的蛋蛋慢慢滑落
kind of like drizzle down under like just hefty balls.
不 这些都不重要
No, it didn't matter.
因为我知道把时间花在家里更值得
Because I knew that my time was better spent at home.
搂着我的狗 读上一章书
Snuggling my dog, reading a chapter in a book,
或者 不知道啦 好好睡够八小时
and, I don't know, getting a solid eight hours of sleep.
所以最终 我拒绝了第二次约会
So in the end, I did not agree to that second date.
我甚至没和他们保持联♥系♥
I didn't even keep in touch with them.
而且我绝对没再去过他们的公♥寓♥
And I most certainly did not go back to their apartment.
你们俩的公♥寓♥真漂亮
You two have a beautiful apartment.
他把我独自丢在这儿这么久 最好是这样
It had better be for how long he leaves me here alone.
哦 你是在找人陪他打发你不在的时光吗?
Oh, are you looking for someone to keep him busy while you're away?
嗯 我们觉得第三个人能带来很多缺失的东西
Well we thought a third could bring a lot of what's been missing.
缺失什么?
And what's missing?
我们看过你的照片和视频
We've seen your photos and videos.
我们很确定你能提供这些
We're fairly sure you can provide it.
宝贝 你怎么坐那么远?
Why are you sitting so far away, baby?
所以你们可能都在问自己
So you're all probably asking yourselves
丹尼 你为什么又去了他们的公♥寓♥?
Danny, why did you go back to their apartment?
这是个非常合理的问题
And that's a very fair question.
但我觉得你们忽略了两个重要因素
I think, however, you're forgetting two very important factors.
第一 雅各布有根大屌♥
One, Jacob has a big fat hog.
第二 我坐了45分钟火车才到这儿
And two, I took a 45 minute train to get here.
所以要是让我晚上9点后搭绿线回家 我他妈最好被♥操♥得合不拢腿
So if I have to ride the Green Line home after 9 PM, I better damn well be leaking.
呃 好像没空位了
Well there doesn't seem to be any room.
哦 哦
Oh, oh.
不给亲
No kiss.
那好吧
Alrighty then.
别担心 等我用完他 他绝对会给你口♥交♥的
Don't worry, he'll totally suck your dick after I get done with it.
好吧 我能去整理一下吗?
All right, can I freshen up for a moment?
当然 洗手间在那边
Sure. Bathroom's right over there.
我们就在卧室里等你
We'll just meet you down in the bedroom.
可别让我们等太久哦!
Don't make us way too long though!
♪ 大肥鸡♥巴♥ 大肥鸡♥巴♥
♪ Big fat dick, big fat dick
♪ 丹尼就要尝到大肥鸡♥巴♥ ♪
♪ Danny gets to have a big fat dick ♪
知道吗?
You know what?
我要叫辆车回家
I am gonna take a car home.
我要进去 用操本吉来付过路费 然后
I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna pay the toll by fucking Benji, and then I'm gonna
像冠军一样骑上雅各布的鸡♥巴♥
ride Jacob's dick like a champ.
到那时候 我觉得自己就该享受专车服务了
And at that point, I think I will have earned a ride-share.
知道为什么吗?
You know why?
因为老娘值得
'Cause I'm worth it.
不!
No!
不不不不! 该死的!
No, no, no, no! Goddammit!
我完全搞错了!
I misread the whole thing!
那根鸡♥巴♥是个幌子 就是个幌子!
The dick was a ploy. A ploy, I say!
他们感情里缺的是个一号♥
What is missing in their relationship is a top.
来都来了 总不能
I'm already here, and I cannot have gone through
熬过这可怕的夜晚还不被♥操♥吧!
that whole dreadful evening and not get fucked!
噢
Oh.
嗨伙计们?
Hey guys?
介意我打电♥话♥叫个朋友来吗?
How do you feel about me phoning a friend?
我讨厌他们
I hate them.
我也是
Me too.
趴下! 你们两个!
Face down! Both of you!
操 太对了长官!
Fuck yes, sir!
好的 爸爸!
Yes, daddy!
靠没错 好吧 轮到丹尼了
Fuck yeah, okay, Danny's turn.
干烂我!
Wreck me!
就把我当个洞来用!
Just treat me like a hole!
休息五分钟 小子们
Take five, boys.
丹尼需要点关爱
Danny needs some love.
翻过来
Flip over.
我想看着你
I want to see you.
呕 你怎么能又黏糊又扎人啊?
Ugh, how can you be both slimy and prickly at the same time?
不过至少他们老得够呛 闻起来不像奶奶的尿布
Well at least they were old enough to not smell like Nana's diaper.
嘿天才 你本可以不上他们的
Hey genius, you didn't have to fuck them.
你当时能走的
You could've left.
呃 来都来了 洞都摆眼前了
Eh, I was already there, and holes were in the air.
真不敢相信这就是你求我帮的忙
I cannot believe this is your favor.
哦你是不知道他们有多糟糕
Oh you don't understand how terrible they were.
要是那晚我什么都没捞着...
If I had to go that whole night and not...
我可是给你找了三个泄欲工具
I gave you three outlets.
这倒不假
Yeah you did.
哦他们气炸了因为我没射里面
Oh they were so mad I didn't cum in them.
啊 这让我感觉自己像舞会皇后
Ah, which made me feel like the belle of the ball.
对了 我哥们罗德里戈想玩3P
Oh, by the way, my buddy Rodrigo would like to have a threesome.
噢 罗德里戈
Oh, Rodrigo.
他绝对是攻
He's definitely a top.
噢 抱歉
Oh I'm sorry.
你就非得当唯一吗?
Must you be the only one?
你就非得当焦点吗?
Must you be the center of attention?
我宁愿你只属于我
I prefer you to myself.
知道吗?
You know what?
在结束今天的荒唐遭遇之前
Before we bring today's misadventure to a close,
我觉得有必要声明 并非所有开放式和多边恋伴侣
I think it's important to disclaim that not all open and poly couples behave the way
都会像那个窝囊废和偏执狂那样
that sad sack and the bigot did.
不是所有这类伴侣都假借约会之名
Not all of those couples are using the ruse of dating
只为锁定长♥期♥炮♥友♥
in order to secure a permanent hookup that will
填补本该阻止那两人在一起的缺陷
fill the deficit that should have kept those two from being together in the first place,
或是防止他们分手
and or keep them from breaking up.
听着 不是所有这类伴侣都在暗中或潜意识里
You know, not all of those couples are secretly or subconsciously
谋划退出方案
planning their exit strategy.
事实上 我敢打赌现在看节目的
In fact, I bet there are a lot of open and poly couples
有很多开放式和多边恋伴侣完全坦诚相待
watching this show right now who are completely honest
彼此深爱 他们只不过是想
with each other and love each other dearly, and you know, they're only looking
用更多爱来丰富人生
to enrich their lives with more love.
众所周知 宇宙中的爱是无限的
Because as we all know, there is an infinite amount of love in the universe.
知道吗?
You know what?
只要让我遇到那样的伴侣
The second that I meet a couple like that,
立马通知各位
I will let y'all know.
太 多 私信了
So. Many. Letters.
♪ 你说你搞不懂
♪ You say you don't understand
♪ 你说这不是爱 ♪
♪ You say it isn't love ♪
♪ 哦 就做我的宝贝吧
♪ Oh just become my bae
♪ 来吧 放弃抵抗
♪ Come on, give it up
♪ 多边恋才最适合我 ♪
♪ Polyamory is what's good for me ♪
♪ 在他和我之间
♪ Between him and me
♪ 不在乎你怎么说
♪ Don't care what you say