丹尼将孤独终老（2024）

and live a life of cozy movie nights, long weekends upstate,
还要被灌满精♥液♥直到我变成人形精壶
and being filled with so much cum that I just jizz-mata.
那么问题来了 从1到10分 你的性♥欲♥值有多少?
So, question, on a scale of one to 10, where would you say your libido scores?
9分
Nine.
11.
11.
好吧老实说 我大概只有4分
Okay, so full disclosure, mine is probably at a four.
糟了
Ruh-roh.
不过我很喜欢取悦伴侣 所以随时可以为他开启状态
However, I love pleasing my partner, so I can always turn it on for him.
好吧
Okay.
但得提前说明我是side
But you should also know that I am a side.
side?
A side?
对 就是我对插入式性♥爱♥不太感兴趣
Yes, that means I don't really care for penetrative sex.
当然伴侣需要时我可以配合
I mean, I can definitely do it when my partner needs it,
只是我自己从中得不到快♥感♥
but it's just not something I get pleasure out of.
所以就像每跑5000英里才换次机油?
So, like, every 5,000 miles, I get my oil changed?
差不多这意思
Something like that.
懂了
Okay.
那我有个尴尬的问题
So, I have an indelicate question.
就是...
So, where would...
那个...
Where...
你的老二往哪儿放?
Where does the dick go?
说你的还是我的?
Yours or mine?
你的
Yours.
我的就随便晃悠或者被压床垫上
Mine just kind of flops around or gets smashed into a mattress.
可选部位很多啊
Well, a lot of places.
想放嘴里也行 不过口♥交♥其实爽不到我
Your mouth if you want, but getting head doesn't really get me off.
这家伙到底喜欢啥?
Does this guy like anything?
我属于side、口♥交♥服务型主动方 意思是你不用为我做什么
I consider myself a side, oral, service top, which means you don't have to do anything to me
我所有快♥感♥都来自让你舒服
and I get all my pleasure out of making you feel good.
这个嘛...
I mean...
我是说 听起来挺有戏的
I mean, that sounds promising.
噢 我能吃你吃上好几个钟头
Oh, I could eat you for hours.
这下听起来可太有戏了
Now that sounds very promising.
不过今晚有点太晚了
But it's getting late for tonight.
但如果你明晚有空
But if you're around tomorrow evening,
我有好几个钟头闲着
I've got several free hours.
好吧 今年宾果卡上可没料到这出
Okay, well, didn't see this on the bingo card for this year,
但我觉得我快和side约会了
but I think I'm about to date a side.
你? - 对
You? - Yes.
你要和side约会?
You are gonna date a side?
我喜欢他
I like him.
要是不用拼命塞满后♥庭♥就好了
If only I didn't have to fill up on as much anal as possible.
你何苦这么折腾自己?
Why would you do that to yourself?
Side也是正经取向 马蒂 我现在懂了
Sides are valid, Mattie, so I have learned.
不是谁都像麦克·彭斯那样按性癖搞歧视
Not everyone discriminates based on sexual preference, Mike Pence.
和side约会天经地义
Dating sides is valid.
别人都能和side约会 就你不行
People date sides, you cannot.
我们兴趣相投
We have the same interests.
他能逗我笑
He makes me laugh.
他长得帅
He's handsome.
他温柔得要命
He's incredibly sweet.
我们的爱语相通
We have the same love languages.
你的爱语是走后门
Your love language is anal.
我这把年纪了
I am of a certain age.
你41岁了
You're 41.
永远别再对我说这种话
Do not ever say anything like that to me again.
马蒂 我到了这个年纪 约会只会越来越难
I am of a certain age, Mattie, and dating is only getting harder.
我不想余生都
And I don't wanna spend the rest of my life
和走马灯似的男人进行无意义的性♥爱♥
having meaningless sex with a revolving door of guys.
我想再次坠入爱河
I would like to fall in love again.
我觉得是时候长大并接受现实——我不可能
And I think that means it's time I grow up and accept that I'm not going
遇到能满足我所有需求的人
to meet somebody who gives me everything I want.
或许该尽可能接近理想型 把这当作胜利
I should probably just get as close as I can get, take it as a win,
然后 你知道的 接受摆在眼前的选择
and, you know, take the offer on the table,
毕竟很久都没人对我示好了
'cause there has not been anything on the table in a long time.
乔伊现在主动示好 所以也许是时候了
Joey's on the table, so maybe it's time.
你看起来不像是会凑合的人
You don't strike me as the type of guy who'd settle.
我玩够了
I've had my fun.
我这辈子被♥操♥得够本了
I've been railed enough for several lifetimes.
我体内灌了那么多巴西货
I've been filled with so much Brazilian,
都快能拿双重国籍了
I could probably get dual citizenship.
人终究都会将就
We all settle in time.
现在可能轮到我了
It's probably my time.
他能从中领悟到什么吗?
Could he prune from this?
各位 他可不是在开玩笑
Guys, he wasn't joking around.
我是说 现在都快90分钟了
I mean, we're at, like, the 90 minute mark,
他技术很棒 真的超棒 别误会
and he is good, he's really good, don't get me wrong,
但这就像吃完开胃菜后干坐着琢磨
but it's kind of like when you finish the appetizer and you're sitting around wondering,
"厨房♥怎么还没上主菜?"
"Why hasn't the kitchen sent the main course yet?"
但这习惯我能慢慢适应
But it's something I can get used to.
何况乔伊的优点远胜过性这种小事
Plus, you know, the benefits of Joey far outweigh anything as trivial as sex.
怎么说呢...
You know, it's...
是不一样 但不一样不代表不好
It's different, but, you know, different isn't bad.
说真的 这对我而言已经是巨大进步了
This is actually really big of me, honestly.
这叫做成长
It's giving growth.
等我适应这种新关系 和乔伊的羁绊只会更深
And as I get used to this new dynamic, the bond I have with Joey's only gonna grow.
最后我们总会相爱的
And eventually, you know, we'll fall in love.
到时候 你知道有句老话怎么说?
And, well, at that point, you know what they say?
爱能战胜一切
Love conquers all.
我们分手了
We broke up.
♪ 这是双向吸引 ♪
♪ It's a mutual attraction ♪
♪ 这是化学反应 ♪
♪ It's a chemical reaction ♪
♪ 但在更进一步之前
♪ But before we go any further
♪ 得先燃起热情 ♪
♪ Gonna have to work up a fervor ♪
♪ 试驾前别急着买♥♥车 ♪
♪ Do not buy a car before you drive it ♪
♪ 试骑前别急着买♥♥单车 ♪
♪ Will not buy a bike before I ride it ♪