克拉克森的农场（2021）

That was a big job.
And there was no time to do it
因为第二天 冬天回来了
because the next day...
winter came back.
然后第二天晚上 我们从猪窝里的摄像头看到
And then the next night,
our feed from the cameras in the pigloos
其中一个猪妈妈快要生产了
suggested one of the Mums was about to give birth.
我们去看看它的情况
Let's see how she's getting on.
看 是一只真正的小猪崽
Look, there's an actual piglet.
它的第一个猪宝宝
That's her first baby ever.
我觉得现在出了个问题
Oh, I think we've got a problem here.
丽莎担心小猪崽找不到奶头喝奶
Concerned that the piglet was not finding a teat to drink from,
于是她进去帮忙了
Lisa went in to help.
天啊 那儿有一个奶头
Oh my gosh, there's a teat, there.
它在吃奶 很好 小家伙
Oh, she's on the teat.
Good little one.
今天是3月10日 不应该这么冷的
It's March 10th, it shouldn't be this cold.
气候在变化 有人需要...
The climate is changing.
Somebody needs to mention that
我需要提一下天气 因为这真的很糟
because it's really bad.
这是我迄今为止最棒的农场体验
This is the best bit of farming I've had so far.
会有多少只小猪崽?
How many will we get?
这头有多少个奶头?十六个?
How many teats has this one got, 16?
- 对 有十六个 - 所以她可以生十六只
- Yeah, yeah, that's 16. - So she could have 16 piglets.
然而 这份喜悦很快就变成了担忧
This joy, however, soon turned into concern
因为一个多小时过去了 她没有再生出小猪崽
because over an hour went by
and no more piglets appeared.
加油啊 猪妈妈
Come on. Come on Mum.
一只可不够
One's not enough.
加油 你可以的 加油
Come on, you can do it. Come on.
有人跟我说 它们应该像机关枪一样迅速出生
I was told they were born like machine gun bullets.
像枪...
You know they go duh-duh-duh...
加油 猪妈妈
Come on Mum.
它在挣扎
She's properly wobbling.
我得说这头猪很痛苦
I would say that is a pig in distress.
- 兽医没接电♥话♥... - 欢迎接通EE语♥音♥信箱...
- The vet's not answering. - Welcome to the EE voicemail...
...卡莱布也没接电♥话♥ 该死
And neither is Kaleb.
Shite!
但最终 一位兽医接电♥话♥了
Eventually though, one of the vets answered.
- 你好? - 你好
Hello?
我是迪丽斯库阿特农场的 杰里米克拉克森
Hi, there. It's Jeremy Clarkson here at Diddly Squat Farm.
Hum...
嘿 怎么了?
Hey, what's going on?
我们有一头母猪在1小时20分前 生下了一只小猪崽
Well, we've got a gilt
who's given birth to one piglet an hour and 20 minutes ago
现在看起来有些痛苦
and seems to be in some distress.
自那以后就没动静了
And nothing else has come since.
两胎之间间隔了1小时20分钟 这正常吗 需要担心吗?
Is that normal, an hour and 20 minutes between births, or should we be worried?
是说1小时20分钟吗?
An hour and 20, did you say? - Yeah.
是的
通常会更快
It's usually much faster than that.
它是在使劲生产 还是只是看起来在四处踱步?
Is she actively pushing or does she just look like she's moving around?
它看起来不舒服吗?
Does she look uncomfortable?
我觉得它看起来不太舒服
She looks, I would say, uncomfortable,
但丽莎一直跟我说 人生孩子就是这样的
but Lisa keeps telling me that's how people look--
动物们生孩子就是这样的
Well... How creatures look when they're giving birth.
它在颤抖 哼着鼻子
I mean, she's vibrating and snorting and...
我觉得它看起来很痛苦
I'd say it looked like she's in distress
但我是个男人 我不知道自己在说什么
but I'm a man, I have no idea what I'm talking about so...
她想检查一下子♥宫♥ 看一看 摸一摸
and is very happy to pop in there and have a look... A feel.
对 这可能是第一步 也是最好的选择
Yeah, that might be the first-- the best thing to do,
因为摸一下更容易了解情况 看看你能不能摸到什么
because it's easier for you to have a feel and see if you can feel anything.
对了 你那儿有润滑剂吗?
So yeah, have you got any lube up there as well?
丽莎会有一些润滑剂
Lisa will have some lube.
- 别播那句话 - 好的
Don't put that on television.
没事...可以摸一下子♥宫♥里面 看她能否摸到小猪崽
That's fine... if you go to feel in there
and see if she can feel a piglet,
摸到它们的前腿或后腿
if she can feel front legs or back legs
看它们是否处于正常的位置
and they feel like they're coming in the normal position.
她可以稍微拉一下
She can give them a bit of a tug?
好的 谢谢你 珍妮 保重 再见
Okay. Thanks, Jenny. Take care, bye. Bye.
这些我都有 但我也有...
I have those, but I also have...
好的 我们快点进去吧
Okay. Well, let's get in there quickly because it's nearly two hours now.
- 因为现在已经快两个小时了 - 好的
- 根据珍妮说的... - 对
According to Jenny, you put your hand in
...你把手放进去...
- 好 - ...看能否摸到腿或头
and if you can feel legs or head, you've got to try and tease it out.
试着稍微拽一下
如果是侧面 就得给她打电♥话♥
If it's sideways, we've got to give her a call.
好姑娘
Good girl, good girl, good girl.
对不起
Oh, I'm so sorry.
它停下来了 真停下来了
She's stopped. She's really stopped.
好的 进去了
Okay, I'm in. I'm in, I'm in.
- 然后呢? - 我摸进去了
And? - I'm in.
- 天啊 好深啊 - 你能摸到小猪崽吗?
- Oh, my God, that's so far up. - Can you feel a piglet?
不行...我什么都没摸到
I'm not... No. I really can't feel anything.
它们在里面很深的地方
They're so far in.
- 我再给珍妮打个电♥话♥ - 请给珍妮打电♥话♥ 我...
- I'm going to ring Jenny again. - Please, ring Jenny. I--
好的 不 干得好
Okay, no, no. Well done.
我们可以给它注射催产素 这有时有用
We can either give her an injection of oxytocin
which sometimes helps
或者与此同时 我们可以让它站起来 四处走走
or in the meantime we can get her up and walk her around.
什么?让它站起来走走...
What? Get her out and walk her?
如果你试着让它站起来 稍微走动一下
If you try and get her and move her around a little bit
有时能刺♥激♥它生产
- sometimes it stimulates everything. - Okay.
好的 可真行
Oh, nice.
太冷了
It's so cold.
来吧 猪猪
Come on, pig.
它绝对哪儿都不会去的 它在生产
She's not going to in a million years. She's in labour.
兽医只是说让它走走吗?
Did the vet say: "Just walk her around"?
当你分娩时 如果有人拿麦当劳进来
When you were in labour, if someone had come in with a Maccy D,
你不会说:“好 我去吃麦当劳”
you wouldn't have said: "Oh, I'll follow that." You wouldn't.
- 你不会...它来了 - 不 但它...
- No, although she's a pig. - Oh, she's coming!
我简直不敢相信
I can't believe it!
它实际上正在产崽 但它为了麦当劳出来了
She's actually in labour
and she's come out for a Maccy D.
Hum...
我在建立情感纽带 我在和小猪建立情感纽带
I'm bonding. I'm bonding with my piglet.
不行 别让它进来
No, don't let her in.
别!它踩到我了!
No! She's treading on me.
不!他妈的!怎么回事?
No! Fucking hell, what's going on?
我没法应付...这头猪打了我 天啊
I can't find... The pig has beaten me.
Jesus.
我在跟一头猪摔跤
I've been in a wrestling match with a pig.
- 你进去吧 - 丽莎
- In you go. - Lisa?
我们得带它出来散步
We've got to get her out for a walk.
兽医是这么说的
That's what the vet said.
丽莎
- Lisa. - She's having huge contractions.
它的宫缩很剧烈
它已经散过步了 我不觉得...
She's been for a walk and she's having...
它没出来散步 它一直...
She hasn't been for a walk!
如果我像它那样 你不会称之为散步
If I did that, you wouldn't call that a walk.
要生出来了 我们有小猪崽了 好耶
It's coming. It's coming, it's coming. We have a piglet. Yes!
在冒热气
It's steaming, it's steaming! She's steaming, there's steam.
它的屁♥股♥在冒热气...有热气
是一只大猪崽
It's a big piglet.
好了 过来
There you go, come here.
过来 滑溜溜的小姑娘
Come here slithery girl.
那是第二只
That's two.
它放屁了 又有一只小猪崽出生了
There's a fart. That's another piglet coming.
太棒了 看啊 小猪三号♥
Yes, look. Pig three.
丽莎 它是连着的 它跟猪妈妈是连着的
Lisa, he's attached-- she's attached to her mother. What do I do?
- 我该怎么办? - 什么?
What, what, what?
它跟猪妈妈之间有根线连着
- She's attached with a stringy thing. - No, that's fine,
没事 那是脐带 是它的一部分 是生产过程中的一环
it's the umbilical cord. It's part of it. It's part of the process.
- 继续 舔吧 - 天啊 太可爱了
- Go on, lick it. - Oh, my God, it's so cute.
三只小猪
Three pigs!
好妈妈
Good mother.
在接下来的几个小时里 又出生了七只
Over the next couple of hours, seven more were born.
短暂小憩之后
And after a quick nap,
我们回来查看情况