克拉克森的农场（2021）

than heavy machinery.
- 不... - 这么做最安全
- That's the safest way of doing it. - All right.
听取了汤姆不使用重型机械的建议后
With Tom's advice about not using heavy machinery taken onboard,
我开始工作了
I set to work.
好的
Ahooya.
让我给你们讲讲
Let me talk you through it.
这是意大利制♥造♥的 低重心
Italian made, low centre of gravity.
最高时速达每小时四公里
Top speed: 4 km/h.
比蜗牛快两倍呢
That's twice as fast as a snail.
虽然速度不是它的特长
Speed, though, was not its party trick.
不 无线电遥控割草机器人瓦利 最擅长的是
No, what Wally the radio-controlled robo-mulcher does best
清除其路径上的一切
is clear away absolutely everything in its path.
天啊!
Holy Moly!
这玩意也太给力了
What manner of thing is this?
好家伙
Bloody hellfire!
这是世界的毁灭者
This is a destroyer of worlds.
要是当初有这机器 高速铁路二号♥
They could have had HS2 built in about 20 minutes
应该20分钟就建好了
if they'd had one of these.
Forward!
我甚至看不清它在里面干什么
I can't even see what it's doing in there.
这是一个全新的游戏
It's a whole new game, this is.
当你看不到它去哪儿的时候
When you can't see where it's gone, you just only use sound
你只需要靠声音来听它在做什么
to hear what it's doing.
哎呀!
Oh shitting hell!
该死
Fuck!
我破坏了仅存的一点堤坝
So I've broken the one bit of dam that remained.
该死
Shit!
然而 尽管我对那里造成了 可怕的伤害 我...
However,
despite the terrible damage I've caused over there,
I have-- Ow!
戳到我眼睛了
Blinded myself.
但除了眼睛被戳了一下和堤坝受损外
But apart from the light blinding and the damaged dam,
经过两三年的努力后 我终于再次打通了这座堤坝
I have finally, after two or three years,
opened up this dam again,
这样 我们就可以进行修缮了
so we can effect a repair.
随后 卡莱布跟我一起开始修缮工作
Kaleb then joined me to get the ball rolling.
起初 一切顺利
And, to begin with,
everything went swimmingly.
好耶
Yes!
我们挖掘了下层土
We dug through the subsoil
挖出了农场里 似乎取之不尽的防水黏土...
to get to the farm's seemingly limitless supply of waterproof clay.
湿漉漉的黏土
Juicy clay.
来吧
...我们会用它来建造堤坝
Which we'd use to create the dam.
继续 继续放
Go on, keep going.
然后我们将旧管道取了出来...
We then took the old pipe out.
停!
Stop!
多亏了重力 轻松运输
Gravity, easy transportation.
...并将新管道安装到位
And manoeuvred the new pipe into place.
继续朝那边
Keep going that way.
- 你看看! - 刚刚好
Yeah! Look at that! - That's bang on.
但从那一刻起 争论开始了
But from that moment on, the arguing started,
因为当谈及修建堤坝时 我们俩都是行家
because when it came to dam building,
we both knew best.
看看管道放在凹槽的方式
You see how it's sat in the channel. We've just got to fill clay in there.
现在我们只需要 往里面填充一些黏土就行 对吧?
不行 你必须把管道抬起来
No, you're going to have to lift this up,
而且不是只抬一点点 这需要精确的测量
but it isn't just a little bit. It's a precise measurement.
我们只需用黏土把它稍微抬高一点
You've got to lift this up with the clay. We can do that by hand, though.
- 但我们可以手动完成 - 不行
对 但你说一点 但...
- 我们可以手动完成 - 不是一点
我的意思是要抬这么高
I'm talking about that much higher.
- 不用那么多 - 需要
- I won't be that much. - It will.
- 我觉得要这么多 - 不 不对
- I reckon that much. - No, that's wrong.
你错了
You're wrong.
- 我们达到合适的高度时... - 说实话 把它开出去
When we get the right height, Kaleb...
你别说话了 请你听我说
- Honestly, take that out. - Shush. Please, listen. Please.
它的底部必须比溢流管低2.5厘米
The bottom of this has to be an inch below the level of the overflow pipe.
对!我知道该怎么做 但你一直不让我说话
Yes!
I know how to do it, but you just keep shutting me down.
为了解决争端 我们安装了激光测量器
To settle the dispute,
we installed a laser measuring device.
在那以后 我们开始建造临时堤坝
And after that,
we started building a temporary dam
为真正的水坝打造一个干燥的工作区
to create a dry working area for the proper dam,
而就在那时 争吵更激烈了
which is when the squabbling got worse.
不 求你了 你别碰 我们需要它们作为坝基
Leave those. We're going to need them to build on top of.
对 我们要放在那里 你看
Yeah, but we're going to do it there, look.
不 请别动 别再干涉了
No. Please, stop interfering.
一直那么敏感
So sensitive all the time.
谢谢你哦
Thank you.
你还需要多少?
How many more do you need?
别碰到激光器 别碰到激光测量器!
Don't touch the laser... Don't touch the laser thing!
好家伙 天啊
God strewth.
不...别撞到激光器!
Oh no! He's done it. Don't hit the laser!
真烦
Oh for fuck's sake!
我从没见过这么没用的人
I've never seen incompetence like it.
我为什么没有...
Why didn't I do... Oh!
天啊
Oh, God.
- 好吧 你能调到四轮同向转向吗? - 可以
Right. Can you put it on crab steer?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
当你让车轮切换到那种模式时
At the minute, you've got the wheels doing that.
你会让车轮都朝一个方向转动
You want to get them all turning the same way.
对
Yeah.
那不是四轮同向转向模式
That's not crab steer.
你没用四轮同向转向
You're not in crab steer.
不 卡莱布 停 你得用四轮同向转向
No, Kaleb, stop it! You've got to get it in crab steer.
等你调成四轮同向转向后再动
Don't move it until you get it in crab steer.
这就是四轮同向转向 但我没法转动方向盘 你看
It's in crab steer,
but I cannot turn the steering wheel.
Watch.
请调到四轮同向转向
Please put it in crab steer.
这就是四轮同向转向 我只是没法动...
It's in crab steer! I just cannot move!
不 你必须转动方向盘 才能把它锁定到四轮同向转向
No, you have to turn the steering wheel to lock it into crab steer!
天啊
Jesus Christ!
你得找把电锯 把那根树枝锯掉
You're going to have to get a chainsaw and lop that branch off.
别担心 卡莱布 我这就来救没用的你
Don't worry, Kaleb, I'm on my way to rescue you
from your own incompetence.
从哪儿开始锯?这儿吗?
Where would you go? Here?
关节处
The knuckle.
- 不 - 在关节处
- No. - At the knuckle.
这里?
Here?
白♥痴♥
You idiot! - What?
- 怎么了? - 你得从底部开始锯
You're meant to cut from the bottom.
去你的!
Oh! Fuck you!
你知道会发生这种事
You knew that was going to happen!
I told you to go around that side and cut.
我他妈的什么都没做 你要从底部锯
I didn't do fuck all!
你整个早上都在跟我作对
You spent all morning throwing fucking rocks at me.
现在...
And now...
你好
Hello?
树落到我头上了
The tree landed on my bloody head.
嗨 怎么了?
Hi, what's going on?
这个巨婴又在无理取闹
Oh, he's being a fucking foetus is what's going on.
你根本不会用电锯
You're just incompetent with a chainsaw.
你该从底部开始锯 因为树枝会挤压刀片
You cut from the bottom cos it was pinching.
它...树枝砸到我的头了
It pinched onto my head.
- 查理 别跟他说话 - 它夹住了电锯刀片
No, it pinched the chainsaw blade. It's fucking bullshit!
- 真♥他♥妈♥胡扯 - 是啊
总之 我们在做什么?
What are we doing anyway?
现在我可以解释一下 你会很高兴的
Ah well, now I can explain that, and you'll be pleased.
瞧啊
Behold!
- 你们在修缮堤坝吗? - 是的
You're repairing the dam?
Yes!
里面的管道全都坏了
The pipe that was in there was all broken.
我们把那个弄出来了
So we've got that out, we've got some clay
在建造真正的堤坝时 我们拿黏土搭建了一个临时堤坝
to create a temporary dam
while we build the proper dam.
- 好的 - 但然后 这位巨婴
- Okay. - But then the foetus,
只开了几分钟车
whose only been driving for a few minutes,
就成功让伸缩臂叉车脱轨了