克拉克森的农场（2021）

And honestly you'd never know we'd had a digger in here,
or any machinery at all.
上帝啊 让查理爱尔兰 六个月内都别来这里
Please, God, don't let Charlie Ireland down here
for at least 6 months.
二月即将来临
February was now upon us.
在猪猪们享受它们的林地新家园时
And with the pigs enjoying their new woodland home,
我的冬季工作基本完成
and my winter jobs mainly done,
我去拍了几集《大世界之旅》
I went off to do some filming for The Grand Tour.
我不在的时候
And while I was gone,
一只尖耳杂种小猪崽生病了
one of the pointy-eared mongrel piglets fell ill.
它的耳朵是蓝色的 有点发抖
So, he's got blue ears.
- He's been shivering a bit. - Oh...
腿有点站不稳
He's a bit unsteady on his legs.
你可以看到它的肚子
- You can see his belly's quite empty. - Why--
很空 所以它没有喝它妈妈的奶
蓝耳朵表明它可能得了败血症
The blue ears is he's probably got a bit of septicaemia,
基本上 它有一点休克的症状
which is basically, he's in shock a little bit,
因为它...它的血液里 可能有一只漂浮的虫子
because he's probably
got a bug floating around in his blood.
我会带它回去
I'll take him back. I'll put the heater on in the car.
- 我会把车里的暖气打开... - 好的
...我会带它回来的 有情况我们会及时通知你
- Yeah. - And I'll take him back,
and I'll keep you posted.
- 小可怜 - 我知道
Poor little one.
然后丽莎坚持让迪尔翁给小猪崽
Lisa then insisted that Dilwyn give the piglet
布里奇兽医诊所
the full 5-star platinum plus treatment.
做完整的五星级铂金治疗
所以 这是泵
So that's the pump, and that warms up the fluids going into him.
那个会把液体加热后输送到它的体内
所以我们正在努力让它的... 温暖它的血液
So basically, we're trying to warm up his blood.
我们在加热它体内的血液
We're warming up his body
然后...这是试着改善它的脱水情况
and this is trying to correct his dehydration really.
是的 我们看看情况如何
Yeah, we'll see how we get on.
一周后我回来了 我直接投入到养猪的工作中
I returned a week later
and got straight back into more pig jobs.
好的
Right.
回家时间
Home time.
第一个工作就是返还阿贾克斯
The first of which was to return Ajax,
那头让猪女士们怀孕的公猪
the boar I'd rented to impregnate the lady pigs.
它一定很想回到朋友的身边
Aw, he must be so looking forward to going back to some friends.
你知道它多少钱吗?
Do you know how much it cost, how much we had to pay?
我们要付多少钱?
它每成功交♥配♥一次要支付 50 英镑
For each successful shag he had is 50 quid.
我们得给他的皮条客阿维斯付钱 我们从他那里租的...
We have to pay his pimp at Avis,
- from whom we rented him, 50 quid. - Yeah.
- 对 - ...50英镑 它成功了五次?
And so he's done... five?
- 四次 - 四次
- Four. - Four.
那是80英镑
That's 80 quid.
不 是200英镑
No, it's 200.
说起钱 丽莎 我不在的时候
While we're on the subject of money, Lisa,
- you know when I was away... - Hmm-hmm.
那只小猪崽生病了
- ...and that piglet was ill. - Yes.
是的
- 你把它送去兽医那儿了 - 是的
- And you sent it to the vet. - I did.
这是兽医的账单
That's the vet bill.
老天爷啊 也太贵了吧
God almighty! And it died.
喂食管、初乳... 他们不得不插入喂食管...
Feeder tube. Aw colostomy! They put a feeding tube down his--
是的 不 别管他们做了什么
No, no, no. Never mind what they did.
那是多少钱?673英镑
What's that say? £673.
- 没了 - 我就放任它们死去?
I just let them die? - Gone.
我其实不知道你会做什么
I don't know what you do actually.
当它处于那种状态时 就放弃吧
Put that one down when it was like that.
- 跟它告别 - 我不知道
- Say goodbye. - I didn't know, everyone was away.
- 大家都不在 所以我就... - 673.4英镑
- £673.40. - They tried to keep it alive.
- 他们真的尽力让它活下去 - 是啊
Yes, they did!
尸体解剖
- A post-mortem? That's a bit flash. - Yes!
- 对 你... - 这很贵
- 谁要求的? - 你有那张照片吗?
- Who asked for a post-mortem? - Have you got that picture of it?
这儿有一张照片 你看
So here's one picture look.
那是兽医护士家
That's at the vet nurse's house,
因为他们必须带它回去过夜
'cause they had to take it home for the night.
Oh!
但她整晚照看那头猪是有钱拿的 她...
But she was getting paid all night to look after that pig.
看看小家伙的耳朵...
Look at the little thing on his ear like a...
- 它看起来很...我知道 - 我们是农民
We're farmers! - I know.
- 我喜欢小猪崽 但673英镑 - 以后我会自己吃...
- I mean I like the piglets, but £673! - I'll eat it myself in future.
那太糟了 这...太贵了
That's bad. That's a lot.
既然做了尸检 那知道它为什么会死吗?
Well, now they've done a post-mortem, why did it die?
Gonna bring that gate around.
它有心脏缺陷
It had a heart defect.
好吧 谁能想到呢?
Well, who was to know?
我们现在知道了 因为我们花了673英镑
Well, we do now,
- because we've spent £673. - Go on then.
来吧
Cock!
到外面去
You go that side.
这种奢侈令人愈发恼火
The extravagance was all the more annoying,
因为现在是时候 看卡莱布和我在比赛中的表现了
because it was now time to see how Kaleb and I were doing
in our competition.
- 我们还得加上一千八百英镑 - 一千九
So we've got to add another 1,800 quid to that.
卡莱布仍然严重亏损
Kaleb was still massively in the red,
当然
但现在养了猪 我的支出也在增加
but now the pigs were here,
my outgoings were also on the rise.
所以你到目前花了98500英镑
So you're at £98,500
you've spent so far
一分钱都没赚
and made nothing.
别担心我 担心一下你吧
Don't you worry about me. Let's worry about you.
- 那只猪... - 我们收到了猪的账单
- That pig. - Oh, we've got the pig bill.
- 对 673.4英镑 - 是的
- £673.40. - Yeah.
丽莎给我搞砸了 我得承认
Lisa has screwed me on this one, I'll grant you.
- 对 又来了一个账单 - 什么账单?
- Another one coming. - Another one what?
- 我这儿有很多账单给你 - 什么?
I've got loads more. I've got loads of bills here for you.
你租的那台你很着迷的机器
What? - That machine that you're obsessed with.
那是我的情感支持机器
It is my emotional support machine,
就像情感支持犬一样
like an emotional support dog.
我会把它带上飞机 跟我一起度假
I'm going to take it on planes with me on holiday.
它会有自己的座位
It can have its own seat.
好吧 多少钱?
Well, how much was it?
1050英镑
£1,050.
但我觉得这价格可以 与它让我高兴的程度相抵消
But I think that can be cancelled out by how happy it makes me.
不行 当然不行
No, it definitely cannot.
好吧...它是不是... 它是不是让我不再让你烦心了?
Well, does it-- Does it keep me out of your hair?
是的 我喜欢这台机器
Yeah, it did, I like the machine, don't get me wrong.
别误会我的意思 只是单纯因为你不在我身边
- 'Cause you're nowhere near me. - Yeah.
去...移除了一棵树 那...
and remove a tree?
不是 我们让一棵树复位了
No, no, no, we put a tree back up.
好吧 那总共是3090英镑
Okey dokey. Well, that is a total of £3,090.
如果我是你 我会写在那里 加上去吧
Just there if I was you.
- 3090英镑?你还有什么? - 这个
- Put it there. -£3,090?
What else have you got? - There's the pig food.
猪食的账单
它们是去萨沃伊豪华酒店了吗?
Have they been going to the Savoy?
然后你不得不租那头公猪
- And then you had the hire of the boar. - Oh, stop saying things. What?
别再说了 什么?
- 租用公猪 200英镑 - 公猪租赁
- The hire of the boar. £200. - Boar hire.
机械租赁4140 猪食2952 公猪租赁200
This mountain of bills meant that my profits of £413
减去这堆积如山的账单后 我原本的利润由413 英镑
变成了亏损将近8000英镑
had been turned into a loss of nearly £8,000.
该死!
Shit!
继续走 猪猪!
Go on, pigs.
然而 苦乐参半的是
However, in a bittersweet way,
我开始看到投资的回报了...
I was about to start seeing a return on my investment.
走 快走
Come on.
...是时候将第一批猪送到屠宰场了
As it was time to take the first batch of pigs
to the slaughterhouse.
来享受激动人心的旅程吧 快来
You're in for an exciting car ride. Come on.
然而 屠宰场在60公里外的地方
However, since the abattoir was more than 40 miles away
因此 我没有执照 将它们运到那么远的地方
and I didn't have a licence to transport them that far,
政♥府♥的养猪警♥察♥
the government's pig police said I must be accompanied by Michaela,
说必须让当地饲养员米凯拉陪我去
a local breeder.
不好了 我有种负罪感
Oh no, I've got guilt.
把它们拉去屠宰场时 你应该感到悲伤
You should feel sad when they go to the abattoir.
那意味着你在乎自己养的动物
It means you've cared about your animals.
- 我确实在乎它们 - 是的
I do care about them.