克拉克森的农场（2021）

has managed to drop the telehandler off the track.
对 那...就那样...
Yeah, that's what happened.
然后他撞到了一根树枝 我不得不把它锯掉
And then he went against a tree branch, which I had to cut off,
而他觉得我从关节处开始锯很可笑
and he thought it would be humorous if I was cutting near the knuckle,
因为他能从驾驶室看到 这样用电锯锯树枝
'cause he could see from the cab
that it would push it round and knock me over
会让树枝落下撞到我
with a running chainsaw...
- 那不是真的 - 他觉得...这是真的
- That's untrue. - Yes, it's true.
- 不 不是 - 是
- No, it's not. - It is.
- 你用了电锯? - 对
You were using a chainsaw? - Yes.
- 就这么用的? - 我戴着帽子呢
Like that? - Well, I had a hat on.
胡说八道
Fucking bullshit!
安全裤呢?
Safety trousers?
没错 确实可能
Exactly, but I wouldn't have done if it weren't for Kaleb.
但如果不是卡莱布 我不会的
你必须严肃斥责他
You're gonna have to seriously reprimand him.
嗯 我知道 我在斥责你不♥穿♥...
Well, no, I'm reprimanding you for not wearing any...
- 我穿了...我戴着护目镜呢 - 你可能...
I was wearing, I had a visor.
- 对 万一你滑倒... - 我确实滑了一跤
Yeah, and then you slip.
这什么天气?
- I didn't slip. - What's the weather?
好吧 但总之 很幸运 我没锯到腿
All right, but anyway, luckily, that didn't happen.
我们为什么...我是说...
And why we do it, I mean,
我...
I am...
很惊讶你们刚刚如何...
flabbergasted at this.
你们花了多长时间制♥造♥这场混乱?
How long has this taken to create this mess?
你们...你们在修复、修缮
- You are mending, fixing, repairing... - Yes.
- 维修堤坝... - 对
- ...a dam... - Yes.
...而堤坝是用来保护并阻挡水的
That is protecting, holding back water,
如果出了问题
and if this goes wrong,
现在看来有可能会出问题
which there is a likelihood that it will...
- 无意冒犯... - 确实出了点问题
- It didn't. - No offence.
...就在那边 往东端 查德灵顿唯一...
Straight down there,
down at Eastend, the only part of Chadlington
- 布鲁克恩德 - ...喜欢你的地区
- that actually quite likes you... - Brookend. Yeah.
会被你淹掉
...you're gonna flood.
而且你没有通知任何人
And you haven't notified anybody.
这是法定要求 必须通知当地政♥府♥
It's a statutory requirement to notify the local authority.
你必须通知西牛津郡议会
You've got to notify the West Oxfordshire District Council.
- 你现在跟他们处得怎么样? - 他们会拒绝
- How do you get on with them? - They're gonna say no.
他们会拒绝 因为他们会说
Well, they are gonna say no, because they're gonna say:
“你采取了哪些 预防洪水威胁的措施?”
"What precautions have you taken to stop a flood risk?"
没有
None!
一点都没
Whatsoever!
我还拿着电锯
I've still got a chainsaw.
如果你知道怎么用就没事
If you knew how to use it right, you'd be fine.
事实上 还好我来了
It's a good job I've come.
- 我再也不跟他说话了 - 笨蛋
- I'm not speaking to him again. - Stupid man!
- 还有一件事 - 那么...
- Oh, and the other thing. - Go on, then.
- 什么烂摊子? - 这个!
- What mess? - This!
你看 你已经把所有东西扔进去了... 你怎么拿出来?
Look, you've chucked all the... I mean how are you going to get that out?
你刚把垃圾倒进了水道里
You've just dumped rubbish in a water course.
- 你...那是什么? - 下层土
- What is that? Any asbestos in there? - No.
- 里面有石棉吗? - 没有
- 那块砖...碎石? - 是黏土管
- Well, that's brick rubble. - That was already in there.
- 那已经在里面了 - 你堵住了...
You're blocking the...
别吼我 吼他
- Don't shout at me. - No, it's both of you.
- 这是他的主意 与我无关! - 不 是你们俩的 你在这里
No, it's not me! - Well, you're here.
- 你有挖掘机... - 因为是他雇我来的
- You got the digger in. - I get employed by him to do it.
- 你在帮助并教唆他 - 我什么都没做
You're aiding and abetting him.
他是农场经理
- I didn't do anything. - He's farm manager.
开始了 这下成了我的错了
Here it goes, the blame goes to me.
等等 是谁开的车?是你吧
Hold on, who was driving it? You were.
不 查理 我说过
But Charlie, I said: "I don't think this is a good idea
“我觉得把车开到这里 不是个好主意”
to bring this down here." - It wasn't a good idea.
的确不是 这不是个好主意...
经历了这一切后 我们决定 等地面没那么泥泞了再继续
We decided, after all this,
to stop dam work until the ground was less muddy,
于是我们就回去安装全封闭的新猪窝
and went back to installing the new fully insulated pigloos.
当完工时 是时候让新居民搬进去了
And when that was done,
it was time to move in the new residents.
好了 让我们把它们带回来
Right, let's get them back.
那是...
Is that--?
- 不! - 叫得声音好大
That's quite loud!
过来 猪猪
Come on pigs. Come on piggies.
好了
Yeah.
- 走 - 快来
- Go, go, go. - Come on!
就是这样
There you go.
猪猪们!
Piggies!
看看这里 一座猪猪城
Look at this, a whole pig city.
林地猪
Woodland pigs.
- 看啊 它们正在嗅来嗅去的 - 它们已经开始找松露了吗?
Hey boys, look they're snuffling around.
Have they started truffling? - Yes, look. Look.
是的 你看 它们都...看啊
看看它们的小脸蛋
Oh, look at their little faces!
说实话 它们似乎比在田里时开心
They look happier here than they did in their...
- 在这里看着它们 我也更开心 - 我也是
- I feel here happier looking at them. - I do.
随着猪猪们在林地小屋安家
With the pigs settling into their new woodland home,
卡莱布可以收回他的地了
Kaleb could have their old field back,
这样他就能拿那块地 替他那边的运营赚钱了
so he could use it to make money for his side of the operation.
我会清理这块地 然后种草
I'm gonna clear this up, and then, I'm gonna plant grass.
- 什么? - 我要在这里种草
What? - I'm gonna plant grass, make hay.
- 好制♥作♥干草 弄点干草 没错 - 干草
- Oh, hay. - Sell the hay. Yeah.
干草真的是个好主意吗?
Is hay really a good idea?
我打算把干草打包成小包 然后以每包七英镑的价格出♥售♥
So I'm going to small bale it, then I'm gonna sell them for £7 a bale.
卖♥♥给所有搬出伦敦后养了马的人
To all the people moving out of London
- who then get horses. - Exactly.
没错
谁搬到...乔威克斯搬到了这里
So who's moved up? Joe Wicks has moved up here apparently.
- 我不知道那是谁 - 另一位...
I don't know who that is.
你可以把我介绍给他们
You could introduce me to them all.
看看这个商业计划 已经让我很开心了
Look at that for a business plan. Made me happier already.
是啊 但女士们和先生们 在听到我说我认识
Yeah, but what the ladies and gentlemen are doing now
乔威克斯时都笑得不行
is shitting themselves laughing
- at the notion that I know Joe Wicks. - I don't know who that is.
- 对 但我不知道... - 他是新冠期间的健身达人
He's that fitness man in Covid, and he did those exercises online,
他在网上锻炼 大家都开始看他
and everybody started watching him.
总之 他搬过来了
Anyway, he's moved up here.
我们有考威尔、贝克汉姆
We've got Cowell, we've got Beckham,
娜塔莉安博莉亚和阿曼达霍顿
Natalie Imbruglia...
We've got Amanda Holden.
我们可以把干草卖♥♥给他们的马
- We can sell hay to their horses. - Yeah.
- 相信我 - 好的
我让卡莱布去准备他的地
Leaving Kaleb to prep his field,
而我把注意力转向了强制执行通知书
I turned my attention back to the enforcement notice.
关门通知
查理现在已经提交了我们的申诉
Charlie had now submitted our appeal,
我祈祷
and I had my fingers crossed
至少能保留农场商店
that the farm shop at least could stay open,
因为那是我的“开♥发♥未耕地”计划中
as it was the only way that my "farming the unfarmed" projects
迪丽斯库阿特农场 黑莓果酱
唯一的赚钱方式
could ever make money.
所以 我实际上赚了8230英镑
So I'm actually £8,230 up.
为了确保我们有理有据 必须保证商店“干干净净”
To make sure we had a case,
the shop had to be squeaky clean.
这意味着店里出♥售♥的一切
Which meant everything for sale in there
这个跟我蛋蛋的味道一样
had to have come from inside a council-imposed 16-mile radius.
都必须来自议会规定的 方圆25公里以内的地区
迪丽斯库阿特农场的鸟类
We all understood that.
我们都理解这一要求
除了丽莎
Except Lisa.
丽莎对规章制度 有一种爱尔兰人的态度
Lisa has a rather Irish attitude
私底下 应有尽有
Under the counter...
everything,
被我当场逮到
red-handed.
如果你想购买♥♥任何 我们已经停止销♥售♥的产品...
If you want any of the products you and I have put a moratorium on selling--
不行 因为我们一直跟她说 “你不能卖♥♥这个 你不能...”
No because we keep saying to her: "You can't sell this."
她不能...她是真的不理解原因
And she literally can't see why.
所以 这是规划强制执行通知书
So here is a planning enforcement notice.
- 你不遵守就会被起诉 - 没错
"If you don't comply, you get prosecuted."
这不是民事诉讼 我一直跟丽莎说
It's not like a civil thing.
And I keep saying to Lisa: