克拉克森的农场（2021）

它们不喜欢彼此 因为...
And they just don't like each other because...?
它们以前没见过面
They've not met before. They'll make friends soon.
它们很快就会成为朋友
- 打起来 - 姑娘们 乖一点
Fight! Fight! Fight! - Girls, be nice.
- 这不合适 - 她比它们大得多
This is a proper...
She's much bigger,
但它们会支持彼此 因此它们会坚守阵地
but they've got each other, so they'll stand their ground.
我们要打开电动门吗?好了
Shall we get the electric gates on? There you go. You're on now.
- 现在打开了 - 好
我们打开了 所以 如果它们碰到围栏...
We're on. So if they touch it now...
- 好了 - 有用
- There you go. - It's working.
电围栏当然已经打开
- The electric fence is on. - Yeah.
是的
然后 是时候把小猪崽 赶进它们的围场了
It was then time to put the young piglets in their compound.
给你打开闸门
- Ten in here for you. - I'm looking forward to this.
我很期待 这会很棒的
来吧 小猪崽们 欢迎来到迪丽斯库阿特农场
Come on, piggies. Welcome to Diddly Squat.
- 它们很美 不 别动 - 它们很棒吧
- They're gorgeous. - Aren't they fantastic?
是啊 太漂亮了
Yeah, they're glorious.
猪丽斯库阿特 这群就叫这名字
Piggly Squat. That's what the herd's called.
这名字很棒
It is a superb breed.
当阳光照到它们身上时 它们会闪烁着金属的光泽
When the sun shines on them, they look metallic.
是啊 板栗 它们像七叶树果实
Chestnut. They're like conkers.
这里没人会记得 NSU Ro 80
Nobody here will remember the NSU Ro 80.
曾经有一款车叫 NSU Ro 80
There was a car called the NSU Ro 80.
那车以前有一模一样的颜色
You used to be able to get that in exactly the same colour.
- 真的 没错 - 一种金属青铜色
Really? - A sort of metallic bronze.
是的
Yeah.
- 它已经找到土豆了 - 对
- He's found the potatoes, look. - Yeah.
对 就是这样
They're gorgeous. Look at them running around. They like it.
看它们跑来跑去的 它们喜欢这里
- 是啊 - 看啊
Oh!
丽莎兴奋极了
Lisa's beside herself!
它们太可爱了
You're so cute!
它们难道不是最棒的吗?
Aren't they just the best?
Yeah!
土豆 土豆呢?
"It's potatoes! Potatoes!"
看它们多疯
Look at them! They've gone mental!
是午餐
"Oh, this is lunch! It's literally lunch everywhere you look!"
放眼望去 遍地都是午餐
它们全跟着彼此 太可爱了
They all follow each other. Oh my God, they're so cute.
那头以为自己是一只狗
That one thinks it's a dog.
What are you doing down there?
你在这里做什么?
它们要在这里待多久? 待几个月 然后去树林?
So how long are they here for? A couple of months?
是的 它们在这里过冬...
Yeah. They winter up here.
- 嘿 姑娘们 - ...所以它们吃完所有土豆
Hey, girlies.
Till they've eaten all the potatoes.
- 然后就出发 - 猪丽斯库阿特
- And then they're off. - Oh! The Piggly Squats!
最后 我们不得不把最后一批猪
Finally, we had to release the last group of pigs
放进交♥配♥用的围栏里
into the pen where... sex would take place.
中间那块地 会放一头母猪 一头小母猪和一头公猪
So this for the middle field is a sow, a gilt and a boar.
- 这头母猪以前生过崽 对吧? - 对 小母猪...
- So sows had babies before? - Yeah.
小母猪还没
A gilt-- - A gilt hasn't.
这是梅布尔 她脸皮可能有点厚
This is Mabel. She can be a bit cheeky.
- 梅布尔是成熟的母猪? - 对
And Mabel is a sow? - Yes.
- 来吧 莎拉 - 过来 莎拉
Come on, Sarah.
Come on, Sarah!
下去吧 走 猪猪
Come on, darling. Come, pig.
我知道公猪叫...
I do know the boar is called Ajax.
- 阿贾克斯 - 阿贾克斯?
- Ajax? - Ajax.
阿贾克斯
他来了
Here we go.
- 他是一头小公猪 - 对 没错
- He's a young boar. - Yeah, he is.
- 他不像我想象中那么粗壮 - 他还小呢
He's nowhere near as stocky as I thought he'd be.
He's young, though.
- 他出发了 看啊 - 好戏开始
- Here he goes. Look. - Here we go.
你好 看看这画面 这是...
Hello. Look at this. This is the meeting of...
-“你好 水手” - ...莎拉和阿贾克斯的见面
"Hello, sailor." - Sarah and Ajax.
一见钟情
Love at first sight.
它们在接吻
Aw, they're kissing.
然而 没时间享受 米尔斯和布恩的浪漫时刻...
There was, however, no time to enjoy this Mills & Boon moment.
因为我们必须在夜幕降临前 给“三猪关系”建好猪舍
Because we had to get the throuple's pig house built
before nightfall.
阿贾克斯、莎拉还有梅布尔 你们的家来啦
Here comes your house
Ajax and Sarah and Mabel.
所以如果发出一声巨响 那可能是压到猪了
So if there's a big "clonk", I could squidge a pig.
挺好的
That's good.
现在天黑了
It is now...
dark.
好的
Okay.
Oh-oh.
母猪现在来到了丽莎的身边
The sow is now going to join Lisa.
她在那儿吃什么?看见了吗?
There you go. See?
不好了 更令人担忧的是 公猪来了
Oh, no! More worryingly, here comes the boar.
- 那是... - 不 别一起来
- That is... - Oh, no, no, no. Not all of you!
杰里米!
Jeremy?
Erm... Jesus.
天啊
♪ I'm sorry for the things that I told you ♪
♪ But words only go so far ♪
♪ And if I had my way I would reach into Heaven... ♪
猪丽斯库阿特的猪猪们 开始安顿下来 适应新环境
The Piggly Squat pigs settled down
to the business of settling in.
♪ And pearls from a summer sea ♪
♪ But all I can give you is a kiss in the morning ♪
♪ And a sweet apology ♪
♪ And tomorrow's gonna be a brighter day ♪
与此同时 我继续开展农场生活
I, meanwhile, cracked on with farming life,
本周的其中一个任务是 跟查理开无聊的例行进度会
which, this week, included one of Charlie's skull-numbing catch-ups.
如果我们要种植林地
If we were to plant woodland, there is the Woodland Carbon Code.
那得遵循林地碳标准
所以 长话短说 我们可以把它们种成草药地
So, the long and the short of it is
we could put those into a herbal ley.
我们必须告知农业部我们的意向
We have to tell Defra we're keen.
我们需要在三月底前提出申请 所以 很多...
We need to make that application by the end of March.
...将一定比例的收入
... allocated a certain percentage of their income
用于环境、社会和 农场的环境社会治理事务
to environmental, social and ESG governance.
特别是食品行业的三♥级♥排放 他们...
You know, particularly the food industry, Scope 3...
等我两天后醒来时
And, after I woke up two days later,
我不得不把珍贵的 斯佩尔特小麦送到磨坊
I had to send the precious spelt wheat off to the mill.
好的 我会自己给这辆运粮车装货
Right, I'll just load this grain lorry by myself
因为卡莱布还“没法”上班
because Kaleb is still being a Millennial.
开始吧
Here we go.
我们能把这段删掉吗?
Can we edit this out?
猪到达农场一周后 我带丽莎去看它们
A week after the pigs arrived, I took Lisa to see them,
因为我的繁育计划遇到了障碍
because my breeding plans had hit a snag.
我遇到的大问题是 每当你看到公猪骑到母猪身上时...
So the big problem I've got is
whenever you see the boar mounting that sow...
Uh-huh?
我该怎么委婉地描述这个问题呢? 他够不到
How can I put this delicately? He can't reach.
- 需要帮他一把吗? - 他比她小得多
Do you have to give him a hand?
Well, he's much smaller
- than she is. - Yeah.
- 是啊 - 所以 当他骑到她的背上时...
- So when he gets on her back. - Yeah.
- 嗯 - 他的阴♥茎♥...
- His penis... - Yeah.
- 嗯 - ...不够长
Isn't long enough to get into her vagina.
没法进入她体内 所以 你知道...
我肯定...她...
Er, well, I'm sure she's...
有办法解决这个问题吧?
There's a way of working that out, isn't there?
猪猪们 你们好呀
Hello, pigs.
运气不错 我们来得很及时
Luckily, we arrived just in time
刚好看到小公猪再次尝试 骑到比他体型更大的母猪身上
to see the little boar having yet another attempt
to mount the much bigger sow.
他上了
There he goes.
但这就是问题所在
But this is the problem, look.
看他的体型小了多少
Look how much smaller he is.
他太小了
He's too small.
那玩意进不去
It's not going in.
继续 把它放进去 你没放进去呢 你这个白♥痴♥
Go on, get it in. It's not in.
It's not in, you blithering idiot.
老实说 那玩意也没出来
It's not coming out either, to be honest.
他的小♥弟♥弟♥掉了 出不来
His cock's come off.
Where's it gone? His cock's not coming out.
拜托
Come on!
Er...
- 我不知道该怎么处理这个问题 - 她很有耐心
I don't know what you do about this.
She's being very patient.
她想要...她很饥渴 但你得把你的脚往前挪
Well, she's desperate.
But you're gonna have to move your feet forwards.
那真是有史以来最可怕的交♥配♥