克拉克森的农场（2021）

That was just the most terrible shagging ever.
- 他迫切希望... - 她刚推开了他...
- He's desperate. - He just pushed her.
你现在电到她了
Oh no, you've electrocuted her.
Aw. Look, he's saying sorry.
看啊 他在道歉
我们决定让他 再在交♥配♥畜栏里多待一周
We decided to leave him in the sex pen for another week,
希望他会知道怎么正确交♥配♥
in the hope he'd get the birds and the bees sorted out.
这意味着我们可以专注于其他事情
This meant we could focus on other things,
这很有用 因为几天后
which was handy.
Because a couple of days later...
附近的农民杰里米 带了一些老朋友回来
Jeremy, a farmer down the road,
brought some old friends back.
There you go.
好了 看看谁来了
Look who it is!
你们好呀 小羊们
Hello, "sheeps"!
这一刻仅仅被一次社交失态略微破坏
A moment only slightly spoiled
by a social faux pas.
- 你好 小杰里米 - 嘿 丽莎 你好啊
Hello, Jeremy the Younger.
Hi, Lisa. How are you? - Good.
- 你好吗?很好 - 好吧?
- 恭喜你结婚了 - 谢谢
- Congratulations on your marriage. - Thank you.
- 我不知道 - 亲爱的 他们邀请了我们参加婚礼
I didn't know.
Yes, we're invited to the wedding, darling.
- 我确实知道 - 对
- I did know. How's it going? - Yes.
怎么样了?
然后 是时候准备谷仓了
Then it was time to prep the barn
我们剩下的奶牛会在谷仓里过冬
where our remaining cows would be living through the winter.
而在这份工作中 卡莱布的缺席也非常显眼
Another job where Kaleb was conspicuous by his absence.
- 他好多了 完全康复了 - 是啊
- You know he's better? Fully recovered. - Yeah.
好太多了 他现在去度假了
So much better he's gone on holiday.
你在开玩笑吗?要去多久?
- You're joking? How long? - All week.
- 一周 - 什么?
- 他去康沃尔郡了 - 天啊
- What? - He's gone to Cornwall.
他会流鼻血 因为那里距离奇平诺顿快两公里了
He'll get a nose bleed, because it's more than a mile from Chipping Norton.
但他已经走了 还是在这种天气走的
But he's gone. In this weather.
- 我觉得他认为... - 嗯
- I suppose he thinks... - Yeah?
他负责的那部分耕地农场...
His side of the farm, the arable side,
他什么都不能做 所以他倒不如好好度个假
he can't do anything, so he may as well be on holiday.
- 我以为他是农场经理 - 但我们这边的农场
- I thought he was farm manager? - Our side of the farm,
也就是农场里盈利的这边...
the profitable side of the farm,
我们必须工作
we have to put in a shift.
这个世界要是 没有伸缩臂叉车该怎么办哦?
How did the world work without telehandlers?
我不知道
I do not know.
对 前进
Yeah, forward.
好!
Yes!
来吧 奶牛们
Come on, cows.
这里 轻轻地 这儿
Hiya. Gently. Hiya.
看啊 你们的酒店
Look. Your hotel!
- 这里 - 继续走
- Hiya. Hiya. - Go on.
- 对 - 不对...
No. Uh-uh, uh-uh.
就是这里
That's the one. That's the one.
天啊 好耶!
Oh, man. Yeah!
五个月后我就放你们出去
I'll let you out in five months.
看看那个 奶牛先生
Look at that, Mr Cow.
好的 完事
Okay. We're done.
美丽的田园景色 喜欢吗?
A pretty idyllic sight, that is. Look at that.
你看起来很好吃
You...
look delicious.
在我们忙着做这些事时 不得不假设
We had to assume, while all this was going on,
公猪已经在交♥配♥畜栏里 完成了他的任务
that the boar had done his thing in the sex pen
现在我们可以把他 介绍给旁边畜栏里的其他女士了
and that we could now introduce him to the ladies in the next pen along.
你们好呀 猪猪们
Hello, pigbies.
结果这竟然成了
This turned out to be one of the wettest and most confusing hours
我这辈子最潮湿、最困惑的时候
of my entire life.
又开始下雨了 就现在
Oh, here comes the rain again. Now...
好吧 安妮伦诺克斯
Okay, Annie Lennox.
妈的 这就像俄♥罗♥斯♥方块 这到底在哪...
Oh shit. This is like Tetris. Where does this go?
- 下大雨了 - 对
- Oh it's really raining. - Okay.
是啊
Yeah.
现在大雨倾盆
This is heavy rain now.
快点 动手!
- Quickly do it. - Oh, nearly. Keep going.
- 真的?继续 好样的! - 好耶!
Yes! - Yes! Well done, Lisa.
干得好 丽莎 你做得很好
Well done you.
Ow!
- 不知为何 它也带电了... - 你得...
- It's attached somehow to the electrics. - You gotta--
你能别让猪跑出来吗?
Can you stop the pigs coming out?
当然 这雨也没多大嘛
It's just a clearing-up shower.
那行不通
That doesn't work.
你说得太对了
You're dead right.
- 你必须... - 我们之前没量对 对吧?
You have to...
We didn't measure it properly, did we?
确实错了
No, we didn't. "We" didn't.
好的 迅速打开那扇
Okay, quickly, open that one.
打开那扇
Open that one.
我会设法抓住那头公猪 而不...
And I'll somehow
get the boar without the...
现在 我们只需要那头有小♥弟♥弟♥的
Now, we only need the one with the penis.
Oh! Okay.
- 好的 - 不是她
- Not her. - There you go. Look. Biscuits!
给你 你喜欢饼干?
糟了!不行!去你的!
Oh shit! No! Fuck!
- 那头从哪儿来的? - 什么?
Where's that one come from? - What?
另一头小母猪也进来了
- One of the gilts got in. - Oh shit.
- 现在哪头是哪头? - 它是哪头?
Which was which now? - Which one was it?
Er...
这头?
This one?
- 对 这头 小姜黄色的 - 小的?我们必须把那头弄回去
Yeah, this one. The little ginger.
Well, we've gotta get that back.
天啊 我真♥他♥妈♥讨厌做农活
Oh, Christ. I fucking hate farming!
来 过来
Come on.
Come on.
不 停下
No, no, stop it.
Stop it.
走 不 停下 你停下 停!
Go. No, stop.
You, stop. Stop. Stop.
在我努力抓住那头小母猪时 年龄大一些的母猪生气了
As I tried to grab the young filly,
the older lady pig got cross that her boyfriend was suddenly interested
因为她的男朋友 突然对一个更纤细的替身感兴趣了
in a slimmer alternative.
不 停下 她嫉妒了
No, no, stop it.
She's jealous.
他会“吃”了她
He's going to pork her.
他已经骑上去了
He's on already.
但大母猪想被“吃掉” 你看
But the big sow wants to be porked. Look.
看啊 我觉得如果 我假装在这里和她交♥配♥
Look, if I pretend to be shagging her here,
- 她就不会去烦它们了 对吧? - 对 我们得留着这个...
she's gonna leave that one alone, right?
Yes, but we've got to keep this one... No.
看 因为她...她很嫉妒
Look, look, look. She's jealous.
唯一的解决方法是 用比交♥配♥更好的东西
The only solution was to distract the older sow
分散成熟♥母♥猪的注意力
with something better than sex.
- 吃一块姜仁饼干吧 - 不 她...不
- Have a ginger nut biscuit. - No, she...
- 看看这个 - 她不知道现在不是公猪
- Look at this. - She doesn't know it's not the boar now.
你看?我正努力看他的... 太好了 他的小♥弟♥弟♥出来了!
You see?
I'm trying to spot if his cock... Yes, his cock's out!
- 好的 - 他的小♥弟♥弟♥出来了
- Okay. - His cock's out!
而且进去了
- And in. It's in. - She doesn't know...
- 她不知道 - 不 让他做完
No, let him finish.
- 不 但我... - 不 让他做完
- That I'm not... - No, let him just finish.
亲爱的 去吃饼干 吃饼干吧!
Get the biscuits, darling. Get the biscuits!
给哪一头?
- But which one for? - For this one.
给这头!
Look, she's fascinated by the whole thing.
看 她对整件事都很着迷
看啊...别把你的脸放进去
No, don't put your face in it. Oh, God.
天啊 给 吃块饼干
Here, have a biscuit.
天啊
Oh God.
这是最漫长的...来吧 伙计
It's the longest... Come on, man.
杰里米 我觉得应该你来做这事
Jeremy, I think you should be doing this bit.
他还没完吗?
Has he not finished yet?
杰里米 你能来帮她“骑”背吗?
Jeremy, can you do on the back of her, please?
我来喂饼干
And I'll do the biscuits.
- 过来 - 好
Come here.
好的 她必须以为自己在交♥配♥
Right. She's got to think that she's having sex.
根据我的书 我现在给她留下了那种印象
And I'm now giving her that impression, according to my book.
她在...她在一边吃饼干 一边交♥配♥
Oh, but she's having a biscuit and sex simultaneously.
她更喜欢饼干
And she prefers biscuits.