零异频道（2016）

这下我们在每间房♥都做过了
That's every room.
这儿现在是我们的家了
Now it's our house.
你怎么想 这间做客房♥吗
What do you think? Guest bedroom?
先这样
For now.
干杯 霍奇森夫人
Here you go, Mrs. Hodgson.
敬我们的家
To home.
哪个是鳗鱼来着 鳝吗
What one is unagi again? Eel?
天啊
Oh, my God.
提醒我一下 好吗
Remind me, okay?
我们前院种的是爬藤玫瑰吗
Out front we got, um, climbing roses?
-不要玫瑰 -不要玫瑰吗
- No roses. - No roses?
-对 我不喜欢玫瑰 -你不喜欢玫瑰吗
- No, I don't like roses. - You don't like roses?
我第一次听说 以前都不知道
That is new information to me. Never knew that.
玫瑰感觉很懒惰和狡猾
Roses are lazy and dishonest.
狡猾吗
Dishonest?
狡猾
Dishonest.
啊 好娇艳的花
Ooh, pretty flower.
没过一会儿 你就出血了
And then a minute later, you're bleeding.
好吧 或者 你知道 你大概可以
Okay, or, you know, you could, like,
小心地摘它 这样就不会流血了
pick it carefully and maybe you won't bleed.
而且它就像在说 好好看看我
Plus it's like, oh, look at me.
我可是玫瑰
I'm a rose.
那么 等我们翻新结束
Well then, you can put in whatever you want
你可以种任何你想要的花
once we get done with the renovation.
我仿佛看到这房♥子在一阵尘土中
I have this image of the house collapsing
坍塌的景象了
in a cloud of dust.
别
No.
你瞧 爸爸
See, Dad,
他知道自己会在这儿抚养一个家庭
he knew he was gonna raise a family here.
所以为这房♥子投入了很多精力
So, put a lot of work into this place.
很有80年代的风格
Style is from the '80s.
好吧 你妈把这个房♥子给了我们
Well, your mom gave us the house.
所以 你知道 我们就不要挑剔别人送的礼物了
So, you know, let's not look a gift house in the mouth.
我只是说 就结婚礼物而言
I'm just saying, as far as wedding presents go,
没有比房♥子更棒的了
you can't do much better than a house.
是啊 因为这栋房♥子
Yeah, 'cause this one
根基强健[暗示他硬了]
has strong bones.
-你知道我一嘴鳗鱼味 -我爱鳗鱼味
- You know I have unagi breath. - I love unagi breath.
是地下室传出来的声音吗
Is that the basement?
当心脚下
Watch your step.
当你妈说她在地下室留下了些东西的时候
When your mom said she'd left a couple of things down here,
我还以为她说的只是一两个箱子
I thought she meant, like, a box or two.
小心蜘蛛
Watch out for spiders.
太惊人了
This is amazing.
不是吧
Oh, no.
老天
Jeez.
我找到了你二年级的成绩单
I found your second grade report card.
是吗
Yeah?
语言艺术得了B
B in language arts.
我还挺棒
I'm proud of that.
这里有好多好东西
There's so much good stuff here.
我找到了我们的合照
I found a picture of us.
什...
Wha...
-什么情况 -什么
- What is happening? - What?
什么情... 你从哪儿来的
What is hap... Where did you come from?
老天爷
Oh, my God. Hey!
-这狗怎么进来的 -老天
- How did that dog just get in? - Oh, my God.
-宝贝 我们是不是有了条狗 -我还不...
- Babe, did we just get a dog? - I don't...
我要叫他鳗鱼
I'm gonna name him unagi.
鳗鱼 等等啊
Unagi! Wait, wait, wait.
-我喜欢大狗 宝贝 -鳗鱼你在哪儿
- I like big dogs, baby. - Unagi, where are you?
我不想被人看到我溜这小东西
Can't be seen walking that little thing.
你去哪儿了 找到你啦
Where did you go? There you are.
我的妈
Oh, my God.
妈啊
Oh, God.
你知道吗 我小时候有个动物玩偶
You know, when I was a kid, I had a stuffed toy animal
跟它长得一模一样
who looked just like this.
我5岁的时候把它弄丢了 然后再也
I left it somewhere when I was, like, five and I never
-没找到它 -好惨啊
- saw it again. - That's so sad.
我的错
Oh, my bad.
是吗 你这么觉得吗
Oh, yeah? That's how you feel?
这是个意外 我错了
That was an accident. My fault.
是吗 你想要...
Oh, yeah? You wanna...
你想开始一些没法收拾的事情吗
You wanna start something you can't finish?
不 我没想开始什么事
No, I'm not trying to start anything.
-这就是你想做的吗 -吉尔 吉尔
- Is that what you're gonna do? - Jill, Jill.
你... 你
Hey, you... you
住手
Stop it!
谁去遛狗呢
Who gonna take that dog for a walk?
好吧
Okay.
是哦 你就笑吧
Yeah, you laugh.
谢了 宝贝
Thanks, babe.
好吧
All right.
我觉得你们在里面玩得太开心了点哈
I think you guys are having too much fun in there.
我们该组个乐队
We should start a band.
-每下都很猛 -搞错房♥间了
- Every blow is devastating. - This is the wrong room.
-什么 -开玩笑的
- What? - I'm just kidding.
所以你们小时候就是最好的朋友啦
So you were best friends since you were kids?
太棒了 好浪漫
I love it. It's so romantic.
在交友软件上认识也很浪漫
So was meeting on Tinder.
那你们再见到对方是什么感觉
So what was it like when you saw each other again?
我不知道 怎么说 可能是一见钟情
I dunno, what can I say? It was this immediate thing.
而最后我说服她搬回来了
And eventually I convinced her to move back here.
没错
It's true.
我从没想过还会回到这儿
I never thought I was gonna come back to this place.
汤姆 住在你从小长大的房♥子
Tom, is it weird living in the same house
会感觉很奇怪吗
that you grew up in?
有点
Yes.
举个例子 吉尔在楼下的箱子里
So, for example, like, Jill found this trunk
找到了一堆我小时候的老物件
downstairs just full of old stuff from when I was a kid.
比如拼写试♥卷♥这类东西
Like, spelling tests and shit like that.
你有没有看到下面有你的东西
Did you notice that one of yours was down there?
好吧
Okay.
老天
Oh, my goodness.
她以前会画一些故事
She used to draw these stories,
虚构的人物 诸如此类
like, these made-up characters or whatnot
其中有一个家伙 他是什么东西
and there was this one guy, he was what?
玩杂耍的还是什么
He was a juggler or something?
他叫什么
What was his name?
好像叫脆饼... 脆饼人
It was like, Pretzel... Pretzel Man.
或者是脆饼·彼得之类的
Or, like, Pretzel Pete or something like that.
脆饼·彼得这个人可以弯曲成
And Pretzel Pete, this guy could just bend
很多种形状 比如腿...
into these positions and just, like, leg...
不是 好吧 我以前去看过马戏
No, okay, I had gone to the circus,
见过一个柔术演员
and I had seen this contortionist.
所以我就创造了这个柔术小人
And I just made up this contortionist clown guy
把他画在我写的小故事里
and drew him in these little stories that I would write.
-脆饼·杰克 -脆饼·杰克
- Pretzel Jack. - Pretzel Jack.
他叫这个
That was his name.
好吧 脆饼·杰克
Anyway, Pretzel Jack.
女装请到14区
Ladies wear to register 14, please.
女装 14区
Ladies wear, register 14.
好吧
All right.
我们吃点什么
So, what do you wanna do about food, huh?
要点外卖♥♥吗
Should we order something?
怎么了
What's the matter?
吉尔
Jill.
那个女人是谁
Who was that woman?
什么女人
What woman?
店里的那个
At the store.