零异频道（2016）

莱西
Lacey?
不... 求求你
No... no, please!
为什么要这样对待自己
Why did you do this to yourself?
让我来... 让我来把这个去掉
I'll just... I'll just take it right off.
不
No!
大家好 接下来玛格特将为大家演奏钢琴
Everybody, this is Margot performing on the piano.
谢谢 谢谢大家
Thank you, thank you.
-我去和经理谈谈 -去找他谈吧
- I'll just talk to the manager. - Go talk to him, yeah.
-好的 我马上就回来 -好的
- Okay, I'll be right back. - Yep.
# 提姆 他知道了 杰森知道了 #
# Tim, he knows. Jason knows. #
# 是你主动告诉他的吗
Does he know because you told him?
# -不 是他问我 -反正我没告诉他 #
# - No. He asked me. - Well, I didn't tell him. #
# 虽然我们残疾 但不代表我们就低人一等啊 #
# Just'cause we're crippled don't mean we have to take the crumbs. #
-新号♥码吗 -你好啊
- New phone? - Hey.
你在这里干嘛
What the heck are you doing here?
你觉得我会任由这个暑假过去
You didn't think I'd let the whole summer go by
都不回来看一眼吗
Without coming home, right?
我算是你唯一的朋友了
I'm, like, your only friend.
谢了
Thanks.
这样子真好
This is nice.
是啊 本来可以这样度过整个夏天
Yeah, could have been doing it all summer,
但是某人不得不回学校 学习更多课程
but somebody had to go back to school, take more classes.
你该不会是爱上了
You sure you didn't fall in love
某个已婚教授之类的
with some married professor or something?
才不是 我对这种事向来没兴趣
No, I don't catch feelings. Ever.
其实你可以和我一起回学校的
You could come back with me, you know?
我们可以在学校周边租♥房♥♥住
We could get an apartment off campus.
玛格特
Margot.
来吧 我受够我室友了
Come on, I'm so over my suitemates.
她们超差劲的
They're really lame.
牛颈肉应该怎么叫
Is it sweetmeats or sweetbreads
是甜肉还是甜面包
that's, like, the neck part of the cow?
应该是甜面包吧 因为要选反直觉的那个
Probably breads, right? 'Cause it's counterintuitive.
就好像冰岛和格陵兰岛[绿岛]一样
It's like the whole Iceland, Greenland situation.
好吧 所以你打算一直待在家
All right, so you're just gonna keep
和妈妈一起活在回忆里
living at home with your mom in the past.
你真的不必来拯救我的生活 好吗
You really don't have to save me from my life, you know?
但谢了
But thanks.
猜猜我约了谁一会儿去通行证酒吧玩
Hey, guess who I'm meeting up with at Hall Pass later.
你是真想让我猜吗
Am I literally supposed to guess?
JT 你一起来吧
JT. You should come.
你知道我不喜欢出去玩
You know how I feel about activities.
-你好 朱尔斯 -你好
- Hey, Jules. - Hey.
你暑假去哪里了
Where have you been all summer?
玛格特最近都隐居在家
Margot's been such a recluse lately.
妈妈
Mom!
我的航♥班♥是五点钟 所以要出门了
My flight's at five, so I'm heading out.
我不在家的时候自己注意点
Try not to auction yourselves off online or anything
-别在网上把自己卖♥♥了 -好的 我尽量吧
- while I'm away. - Okay, we'll try.
很好 你今晚一起出来玩 对吧
All right, so you're coming tonight, right?
拜托
Come on.
你上一次真正意义的放纵享乐是什么时候了
When was the last time you legit had fun?
你上一次跟别人亲热是什么时候了
When was the last time that you were touched in a non-platonic way?
我说过没有人懂我
I told you, nobody understands me.
好吧 你这性冷淡得好好解决
Yeah, you should handle this dry spell.
不想干柴烈火一番吗
You want to start a forest fire?
你可以在这个社区撩起一场熊熊大火...
You could set this whole neighborhood on...
好心当成驴肝肺
I did not deserve that.
才不是 才不是
Yeah, you did. You did.
我的天
My God.
有人给我发了这段奇怪的视频
Someone just sent me this really weird video.
是啊 我也收到了
Yeah, me too.
真的吗
Really?
是的
Yeah.
我们要下水吗
Should we get in the water?
好的 是该下水了
Yes. We should get in the water.
好的
Okay.
跳吧
Okay, ready?
-你好 -好久不见
- Hey. - What's up?
-你好 -你还好吗
- Hey. - How you been?
你手臂上是什么 这是什么
Hey, what's all that? What is that?
-给我看看 -纹身而已
- Show me. - Some ink.
好吧 好吧
Okay. All right.
这是我最爱的海洋生物
That's my favorite sea creature, definitely.
海盗船很酷 超爱
Good pirate ship, love it.
多谢
Thank you.
JT 别老是扮酷
Hey, JT, stop trying to be cool.
我们从小就认识了
We knew you as a child.
我们看着你长大 好吧
We saw you go through puberty, you know?
抱歉
Sorry.
那个谁去哪了
Hey, where's, um, you know?
他有事先走了
He had to bail.
谁啊
Who did?
你的约会对象
Your date.
她让我给你介绍个对象
She told me to bring someone for you.
玛格特 别走
Margot. Margot, wait!
等等 喂
Wait, hey!
我不想让你一个人孤单地待在家
I didn't want you sitting at home being grim.
孤单也是我的权利
Well, I have a right to be grim.
-好吧 但是... -很好
- Yeah, you do, but... - Yeah.
我懂了 对不起
I get it, I apologize,
你也知道反正他找不到人 所以...
and, you know, he couldn't find anyone anyway, so...
真是让我好受好多呀
Makes me feel great.
-对不起 -我... 我对不起
- I'm sorry. - I'm sor... no, I'm sorry.
我只是... 没什么心情 我们明天再约吧
I just... I'm not feeling it. Can we hang tomorrow?
你要走了吗
You leaving already?
什么
What?
我只是... 我看到你走进来
I just... I saw you walk in here
四处看了看 然后就打算离开了
and take one look at this place and leave,
我猜你可能不喜欢与人交际
so I figured you were kind of a misanthrope.
像我一样
Like me.
好吧
Okay.
那么你... 你要走了吗
So you're... So you're going?
没错
Yeah.
我感觉有点累了
Yeah, I'm just really tired.
好吧... 很高兴认识你
Well... Well, nice to meet you.
希望你能睡个好觉
I hope you get some sleep.
晚安
Night.
真的好累啊
So, so tired.
好吧 你该走了
All right, well, you should go.
-睡得开心 -谢啦
- Have fun. - Thanks.
-乖乖宅在家 -好的
- At your house. - Okay.
-天啊 -老兄
- Jeez. - Dude.
我觉得有点... 他已经尽力了
I think a little bit... He's doing his best.
那么... 你现在有男朋友吗还是...
So... you seeing anyone at the moment or...
没有 孤孤单单一个人
Nope, single as a Pringle.
你懂的
You know.
你喜欢猫吗
So you're a cat person?
我喜欢猫 它们很聪明
I like cats. They're smart.
是啊 但是喜欢猫的人好像都比较孤僻 对吗
Yeah, but guys with cats are all like weird loners, you know?
也不对 抱歉
No, sorry.
如果你仔细想想
I mean, if you think about it though,
大概都是我这类人吧
that's kind of my type, I guess.
我总是重复做一个噩梦
I always have this dream where I get attacked
被一群小狗攻击 它们想吃了我
by a horde of puppies, and they start eating me,
但同时又很可爱 真是太可怕了
and they're very cute. It's horrible.
好吧 JT 你到底在干嘛
Okay, JT, what are you doing?
你的动作感觉好像...
Just do it like you're...
你击球的时候应该像在水中游过一样轻巧
You know, like you're moving through water.
而不是像现在这样随便捅来捅去...
Instead of just, you know, poking at the ball and...