哈哈大校（2013）

It's Mr Hubble.
是Hubble老师
I fear that, at his age,
我在想就他那年龄
head of science is getting too much for him.
让他当理科主任有点压力太大
Here we go again, Mr Church. What's he meant to have done now?
又来了 Church老师 他又怎么了
Well, yesterday, he was asleep in the staff room.
昨天 他睡在了教研室
This morning, he left 7B completely without supervision.
今早 他让7B教室完全无人看管
And just now in the storeroom, he...
刚刚在库房♥ 他
bent down to pick up some iron filings and he...
弯腰去拿铁粉然后他
broke wind very violently.
那一屁如雷贯耳
Was it the noise or the smell that was the problem?
问题是出在噪音上还是气味上
Well, I hate to say it, but it was a bit of both.
我不想说 但是二者兼备
I fear we'll never recover those iron filings.
恐怕是永远也无法挽回铁粉的损失了
Thank you, Mr Church, for bringing these matters to my attention.
谢谢 Church老师 让我对这些事情引起重视
I must add them to the file.
我得把这恶行记入档案
Thank you.
谢谢
"Mr Church...
Church老师
"Continuing to make...
不断地
"Wild accusations...
胡乱投诉
"Against senior members of staff."
资深教师
Just, er...
只是
signing up for the talent show.
报名参加天才秀
"Sarah and Keith, duet for voice and oboe."
"Sarah和Keith 双簧管二重唱"
Yes, that's right.
对啊
We're doing a duet, so
我们要来二重唱
if anyone else wanted to do an act with me,
如果其他人想和我一起表演
apologies, I'm taken.
真抱歉 我有伴了
Good, so I hope other people
很好 我希望其他人
will put their name up and get behind Sarah.
能报名支持Sarah一下
I'll get behind her.
我会顶她的
Good.
很好
No, I mean, I'll get behind her.
不是 我是我 我会从她"后面顶"她的
That's what I'm asking you to do. No, I mean,
我就是让你这么做啊 不是 我是说
I'll get behind her and have sex with her.
我会在她背后共演"后♥庭♥花"的
From behind. Yes, well, I think if you did,
从后面哦 是 你要是做了
she'd find out about it. Gareth, what can I put you down for?
她会发觉的 Gareth 你要表演什么
A talk on living with nervous tension. Yes...
关于与精神紧张共存的演讲 好
"Act TBC." Thank you.
"表演 待定" 谢谢
Here y'are, put me down for a couple of comedy skits.
给我写上 我要来几段喜剧小品
Didn't know you did comedy. Oh, yeah.
还真不知道你会喜剧 是吧
I'm like Jimmy Carr, but more, um...
我就像是Jimmy Carr 但是更
..Quick-witted.
急智
Right, anybody else?
还有其他人么
Janine? Oh, yes, you can put me down for performance poetry.
Janine 有 帮我写上诗朗诵
That rings alarm bells. No.
有点悬啊 不会
Frieda, my partner, she's taken to writing poetry,
我那口子Frieda喜欢写诗
so I'm going to do one on racism.
我想表演个种族歧视的
For or against?
主张还是发对
Against, you moron.
当然是反对啊 你个傻缺
All right. Luke?
好吧 Luke
Going to have a song from the music teacher?
音乐老师要来唱个小曲儿不
No. What?
不要 什么东西
Talent shows aren't for me. I'd never sell out like that.
天才秀不是我的菜 我从不贱卖♥♥
But this is for charity. Look...
但这是为了慈善啊 听好了
Real musicians don't look for a short cut.
真正的音乐家不走捷径
They get the gigs in.
他们只做演奏会
This is a gig.
这就是演奏会啊
It's a talent show. Would the
这是天才秀
Stereophonics have made it through the X Factor auditions?
立体音响乐团会去参加的海选么
Would The Verve have got to boot camp?
神韵合唱团去训练营了么
I've no idea what you're talking about.
真心不知道你在说什么鸟语
Would Ocean Colour Scene have made it to the judges' houses?
海天一色乐团会去评委家么
Not a clue, but it would
完全不知道你在说啥 但是你要是
really help Sarah if you put your name down.
能报名那肯定帮了Sarah大忙
Yeah, but if I did, I'm not
是 但是我要是报名了
sure I could ever look myself in the eye again.
我就永远无法直视自己了
Oh... Oh, give it a rest, mate.
兄弟 省省吧
Sorry, man. It's just not my bag.
不好意思 不是我的菜
You'd never find me on the X Factor.
你永远不会在上看到我的
Didn't you audition for The Voice?
你不是去参加<英国好声音>海选了么
Completely different thing.
完全是两回事儿
N'oubliez pas vos devoirs. Demain.
别忘了你们的作业 明天见
French has finished, Miss. Speak English.
亲 法语课结束了 说英语
Miss Postern...
Postern老师
Oh. Hello, Keith. Not in front of the children.
你好啊 Keith 孩子们还在呢 不要这样
Just to say, I've got everyone signed up for the talent show.
来告诉你 我已经让所有人报名参加天才秀了
Oh, thank you! Oh, this is good - everyone's here.
太感谢了 真是好 所有人都报名了
Yeah, had to twist their arms a bit
是啊 不过还是得上赶着他们
because they're not quite as into charity as we are.
因为他们不像我们这么热衷于慈善事业
Oh, it's going to be such a laugh. A hoot!
肯定搞笑死了 谁说不是呢
That's not what it's about, though.
但天才秀的目的不是为了娱乐大家
No, that was the next thing I was going to say.
不是 这正是我接下来要说的
It's not about having a hoot.
不是为了让大家开怀大笑
No, it's about the children. In need.
绝对不行 是为了孩子 需要帮助的孩子
In desperate need.
渴求帮助的孩子
So, do you want to choose a song for our duet, or shall I?!
你来为我们二重唱选歌♥ 还是我来
You choose. I'm sure whatever you pick will be perfect.
你来吧 我肯定你选的歌♥肯定是完美的
I don't like the song.
我不喜欢这歌♥
How can you not like Imagine?
你怎么能不爱<想象>呢
I've never agreed with the lyrics.
从没同意过这歌♥词
The lyrics are profound. They're like poetry.
歌♥词意义深远啊 像是诗歌♥一样
They're better than poetry,
比诗歌♥还强
because some poetry doesn't even rhyme.
因为有些诗歌♥根本不押韵
Yes, all right, Sarah. Let me just query this.
好 好 Sarah我问你
"Imagine there's no countries."
"想象一下没有国家"
Yes? What's wrong with that?
有什么问题么
Well, how would the Olympics have worked? Or Going For Gold?
那奥林匹克干什么吃的 或者是为金牌而战呢
I think you're missing the point.
你放错重点了
"Imagine no possessions."
"想象世上没有占有"
Without my Tupperware container,
要是没有我的特百惠保鲜盒
this sliced apple would have gone brown in minutes.
这切片苹果很快就变成棕色了
I think John Lennon had more
我觉得John Lennon这作品
important things on his mind than sliced apple.
表达的肯定比那切片苹果更重要
Well, all I'm suggesting is that we rewrite the song.
我建议的只是我们重写歌♥词
Rewrite John Lennon?
重写John Lennon的词
One of the main ones from The Beatles? Yes.
披头士最重要的歌♥曲之一 是啊
I mean, would you repaint the Sistine Chapel?
那你会重漆梵蒂冈的西斯廷教堂么
Well, I'd Tipp-Ex over the penises, yes.
我会用涂改液遮住鸡鸡的
No. Imagine is one of the greatest songs ever written.
不行 <想象>是史上写的最好的歌♥之一
I think Mike + The Mechanics have something to say about that.
Mike + The Mechanics可不这么认为
OK, let's forget it.
算了算了
Because you clearly know nothing about music.
很显然你不懂音乐
Well, I think my grade five oboe speaks for itself.
我双簧管五级可证明一切
Oh, your oboe playing is, at best, pedestrian!
你双簧管表演顶多就是 平平无奇
Ooh, what's this? Lovers' tiff?
这是啥 小两口拌嘴啊
No, it's just musical differences.
不是 只是音乐上的见地不同
Thank you for putting your name down, though.
谢谢你报名了
It's all right, babe. Just wanted to support.
没事啊 宝贝儿 只是想顶一下
Anyway, give me a chance to do my, er, my comedy impressions.
给我机会展示一下我的喜剧模仿
Oh, I didn't know you did impressions. Oh, yeah.
我不知道你还有这手 有啊
Who do you do? I do 'em all.
你会模仿谁呢 都会
All the famous people. Go on, name one.
所有的名人都会 来 说个名字
Er, Bruce Forsyth.
Bruce Forsyth
No, I don't do him.
不 我不会
Homer Simpson? Don't do him.
Homer Simpson 这个也不行
David Beckham?
贝克汉姆呢
Don't do him. Alan Sugar?
这个不会 Alan Sugar
Sean Connery? Don't do him.
Sean Connery 不会
Alan Hansen? Don't do him. George Bush?
Alan Hansen 这个也不会 George Bush
Don't do him. Victor Meldrew?
这个不会 Victor Meldrew
No, I don't do him. The meerkat one?
不 我不会 猫鼬