哈哈大校（2013）

Good evening.
晚上好
Oh.
噢
So you are here. Yes.
你真的来了 是的
So you are a little bit jealous. No.
所以你确实有点嫉妒 没有
Little bit jealous. No.
一点点 没有
Hmm, tiny bit. No.
一丝丝 没有
Sure? Yep.
确定 是的
Positive? Yep.
肯定 是的
Hmm. Not convinced.
一点都不相信
Hello, everyone, and welcome to Greybridge.
大家好 欢迎来到慧桥中学
Now, recently the school has come under fire
近期学校急需
for not putting enough resources into extracurricular activities.
投入大量资源到课外活动
And that is why I'm here tonight,
这就是我今晚在这里的原因
for what I hope will be an unforgettable evening of theatre.
希望能成为戏剧届难忘的一夜
Thank you.
谢谢大家
Thank you so much, Headmistress.
非常感谢校长大人
Right, um... Now, just, um, a few items of housekeeping.
很好 现在 先说几件事
We have fire exits located here, here and...
安全出口在这边 这边 还有
So, er...
然后
All that remains
最后要说的是
is for me to say that I hope you enjoy this bold re-imagining
希望大家好好享受这一场大胆改编的
of a play by William Shakka-speare,
莎士比亚话剧
which is how his name would
这是他名字
have been pronounced in Elizabethan times.
在伊丽莎白时代的正确念法
Wrong!
你错了
I give you the tragedy of Juliet And Romeo.
在此献上朱丽叶与罗密欧的凄美故事
Romeo And Juliet
罗密欧与朱丽叶
Two house music nights, both alike.
两次派对之夜 都平淡无奇
No diggity.
没有街舞
In fair Ibiza, where we lay our scene.
一切发生在在平坦的伊比沙岛
You lookin' at me?
你在看我吗
I wasn't lookin' at you. Serious, bruv, you lookin' at me?
我没有看你 说真的 你在看我
Have they rewritten any of these lines?
他们把台词都改了吗
Of course she's rewritten it! She's ruined it!
当然 她改编了 她把台词都毁了
All right! Keep it down. Shh!
好吧 轻一点 嘘
Shh! I don't know if you've been to the theatre before,
嘘 我不知道你是否去过剧院
but there's actually no talking, so shh!
这里是不允许说话的 嘘
Shh, yourself! Shh!
嘘 你才嘘
Oh, you've just missed your son.
你刚错过了你儿子的表演
How was he?
他表现如何
Not great.
不怎么样
..The Capulets wear their best clothes.
Capulets家的人都穿上了华服
O, Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Send.
噢 Romeo Romeo 你在哪呢 发送
Getting Nando's. Send.
在路上 发送
You coming over later?
你晚点会过来吗
Are you enjoying it? I like the Maltesers.
你喜欢演出吗 我很喜欢麦丽素
They are the best ones. Oh...
它们可是最棒的
Why don't you shut up?!
你闭嘴行吗
Shush! JULIET: I'm not that kind of girl!
嘘 我不是随便的女孩
You have to put a ring on it first. Send.
你要先娶我 发送
How about some wings instead? Send
想要吃鸡翅吗 发送
What are you doing now?
你又干什么
I know your game.
我看穿了你的把戏
The old "Getting tugged off under the coat" Trick.
外套下被撸的老把戏
Ah! Get off!
放开
Can we...? Can we move, please?
我们 我们可以换座位吗 拜托
Sorry about that.
很抱歉
Yes, good plan. Much better view.
好主意 这里视野更好
..Dad, listen to me, please!
父亲 听我说
I tell thee what!
我告诉过你什么
I forbade you from copping off with anybody
我禁止你和姓蒙塔古的
from the Ministry of Montague. "Copping off"?!
任何人扯上关系 扯上关系
Badminton?
打羽毛球吗
It's not on tonight.
今晚不打
Oh.
噢
Best performance of the evening.
今晚最棒的表演
He's not even in it!
他甚至都不是里面的角色
Would you two show some respect?! Shh!
你们俩稍微尊重点 嘘
And we are back in Ibiza!
我们回到伊比沙岛
Thus I take this rave pill...
我吞下这颗摇♥头♥丸♥
And overdose.
用药过量
Where is my Juliet?
朱丽叶呢
Oh, what?! She has OD'd!
什么 她用药过量
This has all gone Pete Tong!
事情大条了
Quick! Get them to Ibiza Hospital.
快 送他们去伊利沙岛医院
I think they're gonna be OK.
他们会没事的
What?
什么
Well, ladies and gentleman, that is the interval.
女士们先生们 现在是休息时间
Well, it's 10:30.
现在是十点半
I have taken the liberty of writing a whole new second half.
我写了个全新的下半部
See you in 15 minutes.
十五分钟后见
Are you enjoying the production? Er...
你喜欢我的作品吗
Well, you'll be glad to hear there's plenty more to come.
很好 你会很庆幸还陆续有来
Shakka-speare must be rolling in his grave.
莎士比亚肯定在他的坟墓打滚
Why are you such a tosspot?
你为什么总是这么混♥蛋♥
Oh, come on, don't be like that. Be the bigger man.
拜托 不要这样 心胸宽广点
Not bigger like that.
不是那样的宽
The other...bigger.
而是宽广点
Squash?
来点果汁吗
Not for me, thanks.
我不用 谢谢
It's quite a racket Klebb's got going on there.
看来Klebb的日子过得花天酒地
15p for a squash? It's a rip off.
一杯果汁十五磅 简直是抢劫
Hmm, well, I've got free tokens. That's bribery.
其实 我有免费的券 这是贿赂
Is it? On top of the Celebrations, yes.
是吗 在祝贺信的上面 是的
Cos I thought it was an incentive.
我以为这只是一种激励
Pretty big incentive. Bumper box.
奖励丰厚 满满一盒
Mr Church, I've received complaints from members of the audience
Church老师 不少观众在抱怨
that you're ruining the play.
说你毁了整场表演
You are ruining the play.
你才毁了整场表演
Anyway, how many complaints have you had?
更何况 你收到多少投诉
There's only about 12 people in here!
总共才十二个人在这
Why don't you just shove off?
你为什么不滚呢
Oh, no. I wouldn't miss this for the world!
才不 我怎么都不会错过
This is going down as one
这将会成为学校历史
of the worst productions in school history!
最糟糕的表演
Listen, do yourself a favour and piss off!
听着 请你自便 滚远一点
How dare you assault the Deputy Head of Science?!
你竟敢威胁科学副组长
My boy's up there and he's showing real talent
我的儿子在台上 展现着他的才能
and you're ruining it for him!
而你却要毁掉整场表演
Your son is beyond talentless!
你儿子一点都没有天赋
He's as wooden as a...wooden tree.
他比木头还呆
How dare you?!
你竟敢
I do dare you!
我就是敢
He only got the part because
他能得到角色
his mum's having sex with an Afro-ican.
因为他的妈妈和非洲仔搞上了
That's it!
够了
Oh...
噢
"Renaming the play Juliet And Romeo was an intriguing idea.
重新命名为朱丽叶与罗密欧是一个很具创意的点子
"Mrs Klebb's direction throughout was solid,
Klebb老师很有想法
"And her rewriting of
而她对台词的改编
Shakespeare's lines made for an interesting evening.
带给我们一个有意思的夜晚
"Unfortunately, I did not see the second half
不幸的是 我没能看见下半部分
"As I was punched quite hard in the face.
因为被狠狠打中脸
"It was a fine effort. Three out of five."
不错的尝试 五颗星里我给三星
Yes!
太棒了
I'm glad that you're happy with it.
真高兴你很满意
Oh! Well, it's not about me, is it?
当然 这和我无关不是吗
It's about the kids - the
都是孩子的功劳
kids who worked so hard on the production.
那些如此努力表演的孩子们
Yes, and, er...
是的