哈哈大校（2013）

**Keep your guns*
*收好你的枪
**Tonight*
*今晚
**There's blood on the Stars and Stripes*
*血染星条旗
**That's right*
*就是那样
**Tonight*
*今晚
**Did somebody turn out the light*
*有谁关了灯
**Cos I can't sleep tonight*
*因为我难以入眠
**With the light*
*伴着灯光
**And night*
*晚安
Who do you think wrote that song?
你们觉得这歌♥是谁写的
A bell-end?
A bell-end
It was actually me, but I'm loving the banter, keep it coming.
其实是我 但我喜欢你开的玩笑 请继续说
What do you think the songwriter was trying to say about America?
你们觉得作者想表答对美国什么样的情感
Beyonce?
Beyonce
Well, duh! That they don't like it.
当然是他们不喜欢美国咯
Excellent! You've heard the subtext.
好极了 你听出了潜台词
Cos when you first listen to it, you're just like,
因为你们第一次听的时候会想
"That's a really cool song. An anthem, even."
这是一首好歌♥ 甚至觉得是赞歌♥
But if you really listen carefully, there's a hidden message.
不过要是你细听 会发现有潜在的含义
So, homework...
所以 家庭作业
Boring!
无聊啊
No, guys, this isn't your average boring homework,
才不会 这不同于平时无聊的作业
because what I want you to do, guys,
因为我想让你们做的是
is write some lyrics.
写歌♥词
What...what...what about? Write about your life.
什么 关于什么的 关于你的生活
That's what people like me and Eddie Sheeran do.
这就是我和Eddie Sheeran做的
Maybe you've split up with your bitch.
也许是关于你和你马子分手
Maybe you're in a funk with your
或许是跟你家人有点矛盾
folks cos they won't let you watch Hollyoaks Late.
因为他们不让你熬夜看Hollyoaks
Maybe your mum's run off with a Masai warrior.
又或许是你老妈和一个马赛族壮汉私奔
Or any kind of African tribal fella.
或者是任何非洲族裔的汉子
Not that that's happened to anyone in this class.
并非说这件事发生在班里其中一个人身上
Oooh...
噢
..Come on, bell!
快点啊 铃♥声♥
There it is.
总算来了
So...
所以
Important match tomorrow.
明天比赛至关重要
Somerstown.
苏莫斯镇
More like Bummerstown.
不如说是二流子镇
Just improv'd that.
随口说说
We've gotta play dirty.
我们要用点下三滥招数
Kick the ball at 'em.
把球踢到他们身上
Like this.
像这样
Or in the nads.
或者踢到蛋蛋上
Thank you for volunteering. Good sport.
多谢你的示范 有体育精神
Time's up, Mr Gunn! Out!
时间到了 Gunn老师 请出去
You what?!
你要干啥
We have the sports hall booked from four o'clock for rehearsals.
我们预约了体育馆四点后彩排
I'm not having your drama lot gaying up my sports hall.
我才不会让我的体育馆充满你们这些戏剧组的基情
We need to rehearse Juliet And Romeo.
我们得彩排朱丽叶与罗密欧
Swapped the names round. Well done.
还把名字调换了 干得好
Juliet has taken second billing for 400 years.
朱丽叶已经委屈于二号♥位400年之久
This is my gender re-imagining of Shakespeare's text.
这是我对莎士比亚文字的性别改写
Didn't understand a word of that.
完全不懂你在胡扯什么
I need you out of our rehearsal space.
请你离开我的彩排场地
Look...
听着
..This is very important therapy for Josh.
这是对Josh来说很重要的治疗过程
Who's Josh?
谁是Josh
Oh, right, what, the one whose mum's banging...?
对了 那个老妈跟
Yep. Yes. Yes.
是啊 是 是
Well, I don't care.
我才不在乎
I mean, I'm banging Deano's mum.
我的意思是 我跟Deano的老妈有一腿
Look, you don't see him crying about it, do ya?
你瞧见他哭爹喊娘了吗
We booked the room! Don't care. Not budging.
我们已经预约了 我才不让步
All right, then.
好啊 既然如此
We're not budging, are we, actors?
我们也不会退缩 是吧 演员们
No...
不会
All right.
这么着吧
You give us 20 quid and we'll go down the pub.
你给我们20英镑 我们去酒馆
Boozer!
酒鬼们走
Yes!
太棒了
Phew! Thank the Lord for that.
总算是 谢天谢地
Right, so, company, gather.
来 大家伙 靠拢来
Now, I have set Juliet And Romeo in modern-day Ibiza.
我设定朱丽叶和罗密欧在现代的伊比沙岛
So...
所以
Please don't touch my sports equipment, Mrs Klebb! Thank you!
别碰我的运动器械 Klebb老师 多谢
Oh, Mr Church!
Church老师
There's a seat here.
这里有位置
Thanks. I've got two desserts - going to get fat!
谢谢 我要了两份甜点 准备一口吃成胖子
Oh, J-J-Josh!
噢 Josh
Oh! Hello, Josh.
噢 你好啊 Josh
Oh, no. He's bingeeating now. What?
天啊 他在暴饮暴食 啥
Look, Josh. He's got a big bucket of chicken.
你看 Josh 一个人吃一个全家桶
I got it him for a treat, cheer him up a bit.
我请他吃的 让他开心点
That's the kind of guy I am.
我就是这么好心
And what d'you get with a Bargain Bucket?
你猜买♥♥全家桶送啥
I don't know, what do you get with a Bargain Bucket?
我不知道 买♥♥全家桶送啥呢
Free Wall's Viennetta.
免费的和路雪
I didn't know that. Well, I thought you were clever.
我可不知道 这样啊 我还以为你冰雪聪明
Well, do you really think
这么说吧 你真觉得
it's wise to be giving a big bucket of fried food
让一个孩子吃一大桶油炸食物
and what is essentially a giant choc-ice to a boy of...
和一个巨大的巧克力冰激凌合理吗
Josh's proportions?
以Josh这样的身材来说
Yes, so he can eat away the pain.
当然合理 让他化悲痛为食欲
That's what fatties do, innit?
胖墩们都这么干 不是吗
I'll just go over and speak to him.
我过去和他聊聊
Oh, I really don't think... Oh, don't worry.
我觉得不是很 别担心
I'm good with little 'uns. I'll just go and cheer him up.
我和小孩处得挺好的 我只是去让他振奋起来
Oi-oi, check out Hubble. He's drinking gravy again.
看看Hubble 他又在喝肉汁了
That man should not be allowed near a Bunsen burner.
不要让他接近本生灯
Hi, Josh. High-five it.
嘿 Josh 击个掌
How you doing, all right?
你还好吧
Bleak news about your mother.
你妈那事真让人沮丧啊
You having that popcorn chicken?
那个鸡米花你还吃吗
Yeah, well, that's women for you, eh!
这些你生命中的女人啊
They all let you down in the end.
她们最终总是让你失望
For me, it was my wife who left.
对我来说 就是那个离开我的老婆
No, no, sit down, sit down. I just...
好了 好了 坐下 我只是
I just want to put a smile on your face, eh?
只是想博你一笑罢了
Anyway, she split the family apart.
不管怎么说 她让家四分五裂
Now I'm living in a caravan.
我现在住在大篷车里
My life's over.
生命暗淡无光
No woman will ever have me.
不再有女人垂怜于我
Some days, I...think I'll
有些时候 我想
just lie in a ditch, wait for it all to end.
干脆躺进土里 坐以待死
We should start on that Viennetta before it starts to melt.
我们还是赶快趁和路雪没化之前动手吧
It's, er...Nescafe, isn't it?
你要 雀巢咖啡 是吧
Yes, it is. Well remembered.
是啊 好记性
So I hear you've been removed as the theatre critic?
我听说你不再负责影视评论版块
I resigned. Oh, really? Oh, the Head said you'd been sacked.
我自己辞退的 是吗 校长说你是被炒的
It was simultaneous.
是同时发生的
I wonder who Baron's got to replace me.
我很疑惑会是哪个大神接手
Probably some Philistine who
应该是哪个俗气
knows absolutely nothing about the theatre.
对影视一无所知的家伙
Hm, yeah, it's me!
是我
Oh, I'm so sorry. And so am I.
真抱歉 我也是
I didn't want to do it.
我本不想接手的
But she said it was that or the crossword
可她说和填字游戏二选一
and I thought, "No, thanks, that's the lowest of the low."
然后我想 不是吧 那可是低级无极限啊
I'm now doing the crossword.
现在是我负责填字游戏