即兴卧底（2025）

即兴戏剧表演就像投身一场战斗。
如果你想杀人，那你就必须做好死的准备。F.L.阿德森-即兴表演指南
有人开枪!有人开枪!
Shots fired, shots fired!
重复 有人开枪了!
Repeat, we've got shots fired!
请求支援。有人开枪了。
Requesting backup.
We had shots fired.
天啊 我觉得有人偷了
阿尔巴尼亚人的货 行动!
Jesus Christ. I think someone's
just jumped the Albanians. Go.
支援在哪?
Where is my backup?
不!不......
Oh! No, no, no, no, no!
你是知道的。
Well, you know how it is.
那种气势，正合我意。
That swag, just how I like it.
我说：谁？是我，还是那些做空股票的笨蛋？”
And I said, "Well, who? Me, or the mugs who shorted the stock?"
就像是说，干嘛不看看你有多烂。
It's like please take stock of how shit you are.
或者，呃……
Or like, uh...
股票，股..加仓
stock, stoc--stock up
那么，嗯，你对当前的情况了解多少？
on, um, knowledge about the situation?
别犯错就行。
Just don't make mistakes.
等等，他们问你日交易时你干了啥？
So, hang on, what did you do when they asked about day trading?
哦，我说：“哦，嗯，滚开。”
Oh. I said, "Oh, hmm, fuck off."
休，你更新那个服务器了吗？
Hugh. Did you update that server?
哦，嗯……滚开？
Oh. Hmm... fuck off?
我的意思是，不是那种恶意的“滚开”，
I mean, it wasn't sort of fuck off in a sort of nasty way,
只是开玩笑的“滚开”。
just sort of fuck off joking.
好吧，我不太明白这个“笑话”，
Well, I can't say I quite get the "joke" myself,
这也不是我们第一次说你的“软技能”了。
and this isn't the first time we've had to talk about your "soft skills."
听着，休，管好你自己的事，嗯？
Look, Hugh. Keep in your lane, hmm?
管好Wi-Fi，别老想着融入团队。
Stay on top of the Wi-Fi and stop trying to be part of the team.
你的Wi-Fi没问题吧？
Is your Wi-Fi okay?
没问题。 - 好。
It's fine. - Okay.
报上你的名字。 - 马龙·斯威夫特。
State your name. - Marlon Swift.
你看过剧本了吗？
You had a chance to see the script?
我即兴发挥点可以吗？
Would it be okay if I went a bit off-piste?
我觉得即兴能帮我找到角色的重点。
I always find improv helps me find the truth of a character.
嗯，可以，没问题。
Uh, yeah. Sure.
这不是难……是根本不可能，珍妮弗。
It's not hard... it's impossible, Jennifer.
不可能有一个无法满足自身需求的身体。
Impossible to be in a body that won't give you what you want.
不，珍妮弗，别这样，求你了。
No. Don't, Jennifer. Please.
你敢哭试试。
Don't you dare cry.
别这样，珍。
Don't you do that, Jen.
这跟你无关。我很想要你，但我的身体...
This isn't about you. I want you so much, but my body--
抱歉，我想...马龙？要不还是照剧本演？
Sorry, I think--Marlon? Maybe just one on... script?
这不难……保持硬朗
It's not hard... to stay hard
用“男人火箭动力”。
with "Rocket Power For Men."
我受不了了，特里，我想干正经活儿。
I can't do this anymore, Terry. I want proper work.
披萨骑士还说呢。
Says the Pizza Knight.
我可不是上了三年戏剧学校
I didn't spend three years of drama school
就为了卖♥♥冷冻食品。 - 见鬼。
to end up selling frozen dinners. - Fuck sake.
不要广♥告♥了。演戏。真实、硬核的角色。
No more ads. Acting. Authentic, gritty characters.
我想挖掘人类处境的深处。
I wanna plumb the depths of the human condition.
我们以前就谈过这个。
We've been down this road before.
反馈总是老一套，他们觉得你不是那种历经过劫难的汉子。
Feedback's always the same, they don't buy you as the intense guy who's seen horrors.
我是演员，我能演任何角色。
I'm an actor, I can be anything.
你来自科茨沃尔德，不是阿尔·帕西诺。
You're from The Cotswolds, you're not Al Pacino.
听着，我有个更适合你的活儿：今早刚来的，
Look, I've got something that's much more your wheelhouse: fresh in this morning,
西区场地。 - 西区，行。
West End venue. - West End. Okay.
角色是个精灵信使
Character is an elven messenger
引导孩子们去他们梦想中的玩具店。
who directs kids to the toy store of their dreams.
这是在街上举牌子吗？ - 在西区。
Is this standing about with a sign? - In the West End.
我真觉得你能给这角色加点料。
I really think you can bring something to this.
唯一的问题是，他们需要有人整季都干。
Only thing is, they need someone to commit for the whole season.
找到你的声音！
树立信心!
即兴喜剧课！
欢迎新来者，进来试试吧！
我能用下你的厕所吗？ - 抱歉。
Can I use your toilet? - Sorry.
厕所只给付费顾客用。
Toilets are only for paying customers.
求你了，我急死了。 - 这是霸王条款?。
Please. I'm desperate. - I'm afraid it's a strict rule.
你得买♥♥点什么。
You'll have to get something.
好吧，好吧。
Oh, fine, fine.
给我画个凯尔特符号♥，快点。
Uh, just do me a Celtic symbol. But be quick.
漂亮！绝佳的冲突升级！
Nice! Great escalation.
这种好笑是因为他们没刻意搞笑。
See that was funny because they weren't trying to be funny.
他们只是投入角色，即兴发挥。
They just committed to their characters and rolled with it.
嗯，对。翠西和戴夫，你们上。 - 哦。
Um, yup. Trish and Dave, you're up. - Oh.
好，好。场景标题：“客户服务”。
Okay, okay. Scene title: "Customer Service."
先生，有什么可以帮您的？
How can I help you, sir?
我身上有皮疹。
I've got a rash.
哦，幸好，我是医生。 - 不，你不是，你是水管工。
Oh. Well, lucky for you, I'm a doctor. - No, you're not. You're a plumber.
水管...不。
A plum--No.
不，我是医生，我治病... - 好，好，好，好，好。
No, I'm a doctor. I do doctoring-- - Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
戴夫，戴夫，戴夫，戴夫。
Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave.
如果她说她是医生，她就是医生，对吧？
If she says she's a doctor, she's a doctor. Right?
“是，然后”？总是“是，然后”，再接着发挥。
"Yes, and"? "Yes, and" always "yes, and," and then build on it.
别让你的搭档干站着。
Never hang your partner out to dry.
你看，即兴表演就是强调当下的体验，
See, improv is all about being in the moment,
即便那一刻处在疯狂状态。
even if the moment is completely insane.
因为在台上，没有错误……
Because when you're on that stage, there are no mistakes...
只有机会。
Only opportunity.
抱歉，真抱歉。
Sorry, I'm so sorry.
没关系，你是来上课的？太好了。
No, it's okay. Are you here for class? Oh, that's great.
让你和马龙一起即兴。
Let's get you to jump in with Marlon.
马龙？
Marlon?
我在琢磨角色，可能是个退伍老兵。
I'm just working on my character. Maybe a war veteran.
你还不知道场景是什么，马龙，来吧。
Yeah, you don't know what the scene is yet, Marlon. Come on.
对，来吧。 - 好，嗯……
Yeah. Come on. - Okay. Um...
相信你的直觉。
Just trust your gut.
不确定时，“是，然后”。 - “然后”。
And when in doubt, "yes, and." - "And."
是。
Yes.
“然后”。
"And."
哦，我只是说“是”，
Oh, I was just saying "yes,"
但对，是，然后。
but yes. And.
对，你可以等场景开始。
Yeah. You can just wait till the scene starts.
好。场景标题：“糟糕的保姆”。
Okay. Scene title: "Bad Babysitter."
呃，抱歉我迟到了。
Uh, sorry I'm late.
我在回忆那边的经历。
I was just remembering what happened over there.
屠♥杀♥。
Carnage.
我的男孩在哪儿？
So where's my boy?
别想太多。
Don't overthink it.
哎呀……
Uh, crikey...
小蒂米在哪儿？
Where's little Timmy?
脑子里第一个想法。 - 我……真不知道。
First thing that pops into your head. - I...really have no clue.
你把我儿子弄丢了？
You lost my son?
谢谢，凯特。
Thanks, Kat.
下周见。 - 嗯哼。
See you next week. - Mm-hmm.
嘿，凯特。你有没有觉得我那个退伍老兵是反疫苗的？
Hey, Kat. Did you get that my war vet was anti-vax?
是的。
Yeah.
好。
Good.
报了剩下的课程，还有……
Signed up to the rest of the class, and...
抱歉，我在试着围绕“课程”即兴发挥点啥。
sorry, just trying to improvise something around the word "class."
别勉强。
I wouldn't force it.
对，对。放松点。哦，天哪！
Right, right. Just relax. Oh, my--Christ!
真抱歉。 - 没事儿，算了。
I'm so sorry. - Uh, no, it's fine. Leave it.
确定吗？好，谢谢。 - 嗯，嗯，我来处理。
Are you sure? Okay. Thank you. - Yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it.
没问题，下周见。 - 好。
No problem. I'll see you next week. - Okay.
嘿，凯特，能给我们点建议吗？
Hey, Kat. Could we have some advice?
哦，当然可以。
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.
因为下周的展示会有经纪人来看。
'Cause we've got some agents coming to the showcase next week.
啥？哇，进展真快。
What? Wow, that was fast.
那我们该问些啥问题？
So, are there any questions we should ask?
哦，嗯，你可以问，
Oh. Well, um, see, you could ask,
他们是不是想要一个39岁红头发的、签证快到期的演员？
are they looking for a 39-year-old redhead with an expiring work visa?
不，不，不。
No, no, no, no, no.
我会问他们当试镜机会枯竭时会咋办。