教授
Professor!
天呐桑杰 现在才3点
Jesus, Sanjay, it's like 3...
他们漏记了这个东西
They miscataloged it!
他们压根不知道他们有些什么
They didn't know what they had.
我们就不能晚点再谈吗
Can we just-- Can we talk in the morning?
我要去探究荷莫波里斯城的申请已经通过
The Hermopolis dig, my requisition went through.
考古遗址 在埃及地区的阿什穆内
我拿到了一本赫尔墨斯·特里斯梅吉斯特斯教派的
I have The Alchemical Manuscript
炼金术师的手稿
of the cult of Hermes Trismegistus.
我的上帝啊 教授 它正好是我们的
Good Christ! It's ours, professor.
他们还以为我要的是一本
They thought I was asking
关于老盗墓贼的笔记还是别的什么东西
for some old grave robber's journal or something.
我在路上了
I'm on my way.
我都等不及看看当艾伦和奥萨玛从废墟中
I can't wait to see what they say
重见天日时 他们会说些什么了
when Ellen and Osama outshine the rest of the department.
我们正在与世界为敌 是吗
Us against the world, right?
-一向如此 一会见 -没问题
- Always. I'll see you soon. - Okay.
教授
Professor!
你好 是教授吗
Hello? Professor?
什么鬼 那东西去哪了
What the fuck? Where did it go?
怎么回事
What?
不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no.
这他妈
What the--
这东西是怎么进
How did that get--
桑杰 我是萨姆
Sanjay? It's Sam.
桑杰
Sanjay?
你在吗
Are you here?
桑杰
Sanjay?
寻人启事
您是否见过此人
我是兰德教授
Professor Rand.
呵 你搞笑呢吧
Ha. You can't be serious.
没有暴行和犯罪 你瞎了吗 你
No foul play? Are you blind? Did--
是的 是的 我很冷静
Yes, yes, I'm calm.
听着 他不会起床然后
Listen, he didn't just get up and run off
在我赶过去的二十分钟内溜掉
in the 20 minutes it took me to--
他的手♥机♥有消息吗
What about his phone?
好吧 行吧
Okay, fine.
结案吧
Case closed.
祝您仕途一帆风顺 再您妈的见
God forbid you do any actual fucking police work.
噩梦画廊
三年后
请进
Yeah?
兰德 你在这干嘛呢
What the hell are you doing here, Rand?
只是在品读明日加油站服务生们
Oh, just sampling the fine academic vintages
的学术佳作
of tomorrow's gas station attendants.
-想一起吗 -你只是在批改毕业论文
- You care to join? - You're grading papers here.
你知道我们等会有个员工会议吗
You know we had a faculty meeting?
真是该死
Oh... damn it?
自从我们每周开三次会
Since we moved to three a week,
我就再也搞不清时间了
I just get them all mixed up.
你在瞎说什么呢 我们每周只开两次
What the hell you're talking about? We just have the two.
现在仔细想想
Come to think of it,
你总是缺席每周五早上的会议
you have missed every single Friday meeting.
求你♥他♥妈♥找个助教
Get a damn TA.
上帝啊 这都好些年前的事了
Jesus, it's been years.
那个小孩儿不知道早就偷渡到哪里去了
Kid probably got himself deported or something.
战地惊现古墓
有人吗
Hello?
有人吗 道恩
Hello? Dawn?
惊不惊喜
Surprise!
-萨姆 干嘛拿着刀 -我只是
- What's with the knife, Sam? - I just--
你是要和纸杯蛋糕大战一场吗
You and the cupcake agreed to a clean fight.
我刚叫了你 但你没答应
I-- It's just I called you and you didn't answer.
宝贝儿 这就是惊喜所在
That's how surprises work, honey.
周年快乐
Happy anniversary!
你那么好 然而我
You are so good and I was--
我却因工作完全忘记了
I was at the office and I didn't remember.
嘘 冷静点 完全没关系
Hush, hush, it's totally fine.
但你等会得好好补偿我
You're just going to have to make it up to me later.
那当然
That is a deal.
-你还请了别人吗 -没啊
- Are you expecting someone? - No.
请在这里签名
Sign here, please.
你一定是订了一整块铅吧
You ordered a whole bunch of lead, right?
这玩意真♥他♥妈♥沉
This thing is so frickin' heavy.
不 我没有
Oh, no.
亲爱的 这上面写的是寄给你
It's addressed to you, babe!
急件
这是什么 一个宝藏箱
What is this? A subscription box?
你在演印第安纳·琼斯吗
You're doing Indiana Jones stuff now?
跟我来
动作冒险片《夺宝奇兵》主角 寻宝专家
这是桑杰寄的
It's from Sanjay.
桑杰
Sanjay?
你说什么胡话呢
That-- that's crazy.
他已经消失了好些年
He's been gone all these years,
把所有人都吓坏了
scares the shit out of everyone
现在却又给你送来一大箱垃圾
and then sends you a box of junk?
没有错
There's no mistaking it.
这是他找到的那个手稿
This... This is the text that Sanjay found.
它有好几千年的历史 他把它都记了下来
It's thousands of years old and he wrote all over it.
我们打电♥话♥叫警♥察♥来吧
Let's call the police.
然后上交国家吗 不可以
And let them confiscate it? No.
他们压根搞不懂这些是什么东西
They wouldn't even know what they are looking at.
不 我们
No, we--
不行 我得帮帮桑杰
No, I, I need to help Sanjay.
换作是他 他也会这么做的
He would do the same for me. I know.
我明白
I know...
我相信你
I have faith in you.
但你能先把周年晚餐加入行程吗
But can you fit some anniversary dinner in your schedule first?
还在忙呢
Still at it?
才刚开始
Just getting started.
你明天有早课
You have class early.
周年快乐
Happy anniversary!
谢谢你 你也是
Thank you. You too.
别熬太晚
Well, don't stay up too late.
-我爱你 -我也爱你
- I love you. - Love you too.
好的吧
Well, okay.
好了桑杰 这些都是什么意思呢
Okay, Sanjay, what does all of this mean?
帮帮我 快帮我 快 救命
Help me, help me, help me! Help me!
别告诉我你通宵了
Please, tell me you didn't stay up all night.
不我睡了 我只是
No, I slept, I just--
但没睡好是吗
You never quite made it to bed, huh?
天呐 我把我们周年纪念日过成这样
God, and on our anniversary.
抱歉 我不是个好妻子
God, I'm sorry I'm such a shitty wife.
这没关系
It's not a big deal.
我瑜伽课快迟到了
I'm late for yoga.
记得在上课前吃个早餐
Make sure you eat before class.
记住 上课时低血糖可是不行的呢
Lecturing on low blood sugar is against the rules, remember?
快去救救你好学的学生吧
Dispense some knowledge.
是的 苏格拉底的鬼魂肯定
Yeah, the ghost of Socrates
因为上不了课而恨死我了
is going to be so jealous he could not have courses.
-我爱你 -我也爱你
- I love you. - I love you too.
什么什么博物馆
Something museums.
大 大博物馆 没错
Grand, grand museums. Sure.
抱歉 你有什么事吗
I'm sorry, can I help you?
教授我不确定是不是你
I wasn't sure if that was you or not, professor.
我们想念你的课
We missed you in class,
还以为你可能病了 但是
thought maybe you were sick, but--
你在220教室的人类学课
Your Anthro 220 class.
我们在那坐了大概15分钟 但是
We sat there for like 15 minutes, but...
我天 我专心在搞别的事 我
Oh, my God! I was focused on some other work and I just--
没啥大不了的
No, it's cool.
我们下堂课见 好吗
We'll just see you next time, right?
好了
电影精选列表