怪猴（2025）

希望你不会觉得奇怪 但我在想
I hope this isn't weird, but I was wondering,
要不我把你的15美元还你
you know, if maybe I could give you your 15 bucks back
然后我留着玩具猴子
and instead I could just keep the toy monkey thing.
它不是玩具 别这么叫它
lt's not a toy, don't ever call it that.
好的 我也是这么想的
You're right, yeah, no, I thought the same thing, too.
它只是让我想起了我爸爸
lt just sort of makes me think about my dad,
我知道这有点怪 两个大男人之间说这种话
which I know is kind of a weird thing for, like, a guy to say to, like, another guy.
你思考的时候会很痛苦吗 瑞奇
Does it hurt very much when you think, Ricky?
呃 -呃呃呃
Well "Uh Well, wel"
你知不知道27%的说英语的人
Did you know that 27%of all English- speaking people
在死之前会说“妈的”或“卧♥槽♥”吗
will either say, oh, shit"or"holy shit" before they die?
很搞笑 因为死亡是所有人都
Now it's funny, because death is the one big thing
避免不了的大事
that'll happen to all of us,
然而 我们还是会忍♥不住对此感到惊讶
and yet we still can't help but be somehow surprised by it.
没错 哥们
Right on, man.
不管怎么说 我见过你弟弟
So anyways, I saw your brother.
他跟你长得很像
He looks like you
他和那个
But that's like, uh
好像是你侄子在一起
That's like your nephew, then, huh?
万一佩迪转动钥匙了呢
What if Petey tured the key?
所以我能拿回来吗
So. so, can I have it back?
休想
Never.
我雇你去找猴子 不是让你爱上它
I implored you to find the monkey, not to fall in love with it.
赶紧滚
Now fuck off.
去你大爷
Fuck you.
嘿 妈 你在家还是在工厂
Hey, Ma, are you home or are you at the factory?
该死的老逼登
Lousy deadbeat.
喂 波尚
Yo, Beauchamps!
你还有多的子弹吗
You got any extra bullets?
多少口径的
What caliber?
嘿 你身上还有芭芭拉的血
Hey, you still got some of Barbara's blood on you.
是啊
Yeah.
意外在所难免
Accidents happen.
我能问你个问题吗
Can I ask you a question?
不能
Uh, nope.
你杀过人吗
You ever killed a man?
天啊
Jesus.
妈妈知道吗
Does Mom know?
不 我没杀过人
No, I haven't killed anybody.
我当然没杀过
Of course I haven't killed anybody.
听着 等我们回到汽车旅馆
Look, when we get back to the motel,
我会给你妈打电♥话♥ 我会告诉她发生了什么
I'm gonna call your mom, and I'm gonna tell her what happened.
她会觉得我这人不安全
She'll think I'm not safe to be around and
她想法没错
she'll be right.
所以泰德会收养我
So Ted will just adopt me and
你不会再见我了
you'll never have to see me again?
你最好还是和泰德在一起 知道吗
You're better off with Ted, all right?
相信我
Believe me.
去你♥妈♥的♥
Fuck you, man.
嘿 佩迪
Hey, Petey...
有需要你随时叫我
Well, I'm here if you need me.
你在浴室慢慢收拾 好吗
You just do your thing in the bathroom, okay?
如果你想谈谈 我们可以好好谈谈 好吗 伙计
And if you want to have a talk, we can have a proper talk, all right, buddy?
喂
Yes?
是我
lt's me.
你拿到了 对吧
You have it, dcnt you?
我不知道 也许吧
I don't know, maybo.
拜托 比尔 猴子夫人
Come on, Bill, Mrs. Monkey
我知道你是 但我是谁
I know you are, but what am I?
别再扭钥匙了
Stop turning the kay.
它的手不够长 也不够灵活
lts arms aren't fucking long enough or articulate enough
够不到后面 所以得有人帮它
to reach back there it self, so somebody has to.
而且我没有
And also, no.
天啊 比尔 他们都是无辜人
Jesus fucking Christ, Billthese are innocent people.
听着
Look, l
我不在乎自己
I don't care about me.
重要的是佩迪的安全
All that matters is that Petey is safe,
所以别再扭钥匙了
so stop turning it.
如果你想要我不再扭钥匙
lf you want me to stop turning the key,
那就把佩迪交给我 这样他就可以扭了
bring Petey to me so he can turn it instead.
啥玩意
What?
不行 为什么
No. Why?
扭钥匙的人永远不会死
The person who turns the key never dies.
我们从小就知道 不是吗 哈尔
You've known that since we were kids, haven't you, Hal?
什么
What?
你在说什么
What are you talking about?
你在哪里 比尔
Where are you, Bill?
如果你不想佩迪出事
If you want Petey to be safe,
就只需让佩迪来扭钥匙
all Petey has to do is turn the key
永远不停地扭钥匙
and keep turning the key forever and ever and ever,
这样佩迪就永远不会死
and Petey will never die.
比尔 听我说 行吗
Listen to me, Bill, all right?
我先把佩迪送出去 然后我们再谈 好吗
Let me get Petey out of here, then we'll talk, all right?
我们会想出办法的
We'll figure out what we're gonna do.
要么我继续扭钥匙 要么佩迪来扭钥匙
Either I keep turning the key or Petey turns the key.
决定好了再打给我
Call me back when you made your decision.
等等 等等 比尔 比
Wait, wait, wait, waitl Bill, Bi
该死
Fuck.
快点 我们得走了
Come on, we gotta go right now!
天啊
Jesus Christ.
别心脏病发作了
Don't have a heart attack.
或者发作吧
Or do, you know?
反正你这么急着离开我的生活 这可能还更方便
You want out of my life so bad it might just be a nice shortcut.
佩迪 你在搞什么名堂
Petey what the fuck?
为什么不开门 -你管这么多干嘛
Why didn't you answer the door? - Why do you care?
既然你想远离我 为什么还要生孩子
Why would you even have a kid if all you're
gonna do is just keep yourself away from me?
我不知道我在做什么 好吗 我当时也只是个毛孩子
I didn't exactly know what I was doing, all right? I was just a stupid, dumb kid.
所以我就是个意外 你是这个意思吗
So I was an accident? Is that what you're saying?
是的 一切都是意外
Everything is an accident, yes.
哇偶
Wow.
你小嘴抹了蜜
Nice one.
很高兴听你这么说
Great to hear.
我不是这个意思…
I...That's not what I...
是的
Yes.
是的 那是个意外 佩迪
Yes, it was an accident, Petey.
但你不是个错误
But you were not a mistake.
你在这陪我 我很开心
I'm so glad you're here with me.
你对我来说非常珍贵
You're very precious to me.
但这正是我要离你远远的原因
But that's why I stay away.
因为我
Because I
我身边有各种各样的怪毛病
I come with all sorts of weird baggage
我不想让你为此操心
and I don't want you to have to deal with that.
比如呢
Like what?
比如
Like.
一些很坏的事情 佩迪 比如
bad stuff, Petey, Like
一些邪恶之事
Like evil stuff.
从我爸那里遗传的厄运 我不想再传给你
Stuff that I got from my dad and I don't want to pass it on to you.
你到底在说什么 具体点说
What are you talking about? Like what?
就是
Like.
开门 老子是警♥察♥
Open upl lt's the motherfucking police!
好的 好的 好的
AII right, all right, all right.
闭嘴 闭嘴 回答问题
Shut upl Shut up and answerl
哇哇哇 别这么吓人好吗
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Just relax, all right?
冷静 冷静
Just relax. Relax.
车钥匙拿出来
Get the keys.
什么
What?
快点
Come on!
好的好的好的
Okay, okay, okay, okay...
好的 好了
Okay, all right.
咱们来兜兜风 好吗