盛大婚礼（2013）

And, uh, did we partake of birth control?
-当然 -啊 当然
-Of course. -Ah, of course.
安全措施
Birth control.
成年人之间嘛
Relationships between consenting adults
彼此间应当有所保留
shall remain privately betwixt themselves,
当然与教会也可以有所保留
and the Church, of course.
我以为我们要下地狱呢
I guess we're going to Hell, then.
上帝会安排的 孩子
In God's good time, my son.
开玩笑 别介意
I'm kidding.
好吧 告诉我 年轻人
So, tell me, young man.
我知道你的养父母 唐和爱丽
I know your adoptive parents, Don and Ellie,
并不是天主教♥徒♥
are other than Catholic.
是 是的 我妈是"犹佛教♥徒♥"
Yeah. Yeah. My mom is Je-Buddhist.
就是信佛的犹太人
That's Jewish/Buddhist.
我爸对宗教的看法嘛 有点
And my father thinks that organized religion is for...
他的生母是地道的天主教♥徒♥
His biological mother is very much a Catholic.
她为哥伦比亚的某个主教工作
She works for a bishop in Colombia.
-那很不错啊 -我们非常高兴
-Good for her. -And we're very excited
因为他妈妈马上就要来参加我们的婚礼了
because we just found out that she's coming to the wedding.
-没错 -哦 很好
-She is. -Oh, wonderful.
-哦 天呐 -怎么了
-Oh, God. -Yes?
什么
What?
不好意思 没事儿
Sorry. Nothing. It's fine.
我假设一下 你妈妈会非常愿意
I'm assuming that your mother will be very encouraging
让她的孙子也皈依天主的光辉
of her grandchildren being raised in the Church.
实际上 我们想等他们长大了
Uh, actually, we decided to wait until they're old enough
让他们自己做决定
and then just let them decide.
那就下地狱吧
Hell it is, then.
嗨 贾里德在吗
Hi. Is Jared in?
-你是他的病人 -他姐姐
-Are you a patient? -Sister.
哦 哦 好
Oh. Oh. Right.
-嗨 我是简 -嗨
-Hi, I'm Jane. -Hi.
他在产房♥ 你可以在父亲等候室稍等
He's in a delivery, so you can wait over in the Daddy's Room
我会通知他你在等他
and I'll let him know that you're here.
好的
Okay.
你好
Hello.
不 我是说她就那样从插座上拔下来了
No, I mean she literally pulled it out of the socket.
-我想我在这儿更安全 -谢天谢地
-I figured I'd be a lot safer here. -Thank Christ.
你是在开玩笑吗
Are you freaking kidding me?
这是在医院
We're in a hospital.
是的 对不起
Right. Sorry.
我没打算抽
Just practicing.
我早就不吸烟了 我一个月前就戒烟了
I don't even smoke. I quit a month ago.
是个女孩
It's a girl.
哦 我的天呐 我一会儿打给你 她
Oh, my God. I gotta call you back. Is she...
母女平安
They're both doing just fine.
你想看看她吗
Would you like to meet her?
你醒了
There you are.
我死了吗
Am I dead?
对不起 贾里德马上就来
Sorry. Jared'll be in in a sec.
太好了
My hero.
他很贴心 对吧
He's a sweetie, huh?
嗯
Hmm.
我问一下 请别介意哈
I hope this isn't too inappropriate to ask,
那是真的吗 他从来没有
but is it true that he's never really had...
是真的
It's true.
哦
Oh.
好啦 是谁被从父亲等候室
Okay. What kind of a doily
推出去了
passes out in the Daddy's Room?
-希望你现在好点了 -谢谢
-I hope you feel better. -Thank you.
-医生 -谢谢
-Doctor. -Thank you.
谢谢
Thank you.
她很活泼
She's perky.
谁 简吗 是 她很好
Who, Jane? Yeah, she's great.
说到那个话题她还尖叫了一下
She's screaming for a shot at the title.
很好
Nice.
她哪里有问题
What could possibly be wrong with her?
这种面带稚气 充满活力 头扎马尾的
I am so over this whole fresh-faced, Ivy League,
常春藤毕业生我见得多了
preppie, bouncy, ponytail-y type.
却还没拿下过任何一个
Don't you have to be under one first?
说到痛处了
Good one.
顺便说下 她知道了
She knows, by the way.
是的 上个月 我和一群人出去
Yeah. A bunch of us went out
喝了几杯
for too many margaritas last month.
现在她们组成了一个破处联盟了
Now they have, like, an un-virgin pool going.
什么
What?
一群辣妹护士密谋怎么破你的处
A bevy of hot nurses are conspiring to bang your brains out?
你应该收钱啊
You should press charges.
不 这不是我弟弟 他在等待真爱
No, not my brother. He's gotta wait for love.
恩 是的
Yeah, well...
15岁的时候有这个想法应该是挺高尚的
It seemed like a really noble idea when I was 15.
不过现在我开始动摇了
Anyway, I'm starting to waver.
别说了
Shut up.
不 我马上就30岁了
No, I'm gonna be 30 soon.
那意味着我已经浪费了
But then that would mean that I've wasted the last
15年了
15-plus years.
你没事了
You're fine.
好吧 叫她回来
Well, call what's-her-name back in here.
来吧 你可以用这张床
Come on. You can use my bed.
我可以在大厅等着 我可以偷偷笑
I'll wait in the hall. I can laugh really quietly.
还是我把你放到婴儿室去吧
Or I could just put you back in there with the babies.
不
No.
哦
Oh.
你还好吗
Whoa, whoa. You okay?
我想你应该
I want you to...
看着我 看我的鼻子
Look right at me. Right at my nose.
好了 你可能有点脑震荡
Yeah, you might have a concussion.
怎么知道的
How will I know?
头疼 想吐
Headaches, vomiting.
还没见老爹就这样了
Hmm. And I haven't even seen Dad yet.
嘿 安德鲁呢
Hey. Where's Andrew?
不知道 先不谈这个好吗
I don't know. Can we bookmark it?
关于"莱拉的干瘪生活"
I want to keep the whole "Lyla's desiccating her life" lectures
我打算回头再做解释
down to one a day.
拭目以待
I can't wait.
再见 贾里德
See you, Jared.
他们都不行
Neither can they.
很大的哟
He's huge.
我记得
I remember.
看看小贾里德
Look at Jared.
莱拉 哦 还有小不点亚历山德罗
Lyla. Oh, look how tiny Alejandro was.
我们装♥修♥的时候
One of the workers almost painted over that
一个油漆工都快把这个刷没了
while we were redecorating.
要不是唐纳德推开我 我就拿着针♥刺♥穿他的喉咙了
I had my knitting needle to his throat when Donald pulled me off of him.
是啊 现在他们都长大了
Yeah. And now they're all grown.
是啊
Yeah.
你对他们来说太重要了
You were so wonderful to them.
恩 他们毕竟不是我的孩子 但是 你知道
Well, they're not officially my kids, but, you know...
上帝 你看上去还是那么惊艳
God, you look stunning.
少来了 碧碧 我们都老了
Cut the crap, Bebes. I look a decade older and so do you.
不用穿塑身衣的还说这种话啊
Said the one of us not wearing control tops.
等见到玛芬再说吧 你会吃惊的
Wait until you see Muffin. Oh, my God.
我听说她拉过皮啦
I heard she had work done.
按某人的话说 吓死人了
Really, like, somebody said it was scary.
可以说她大部分脸现在都在耳朵后面了
Well, let's just say most of her face is now behind her ears.
而且她简直是个疯子
And she's completely mental.
纠结于婚礼的细节 让我抓狂
She's driving me crazy about the details of the wedding,
真是讽刺 我们在这里举♥行♥婚礼
which is ironic because we're hosting it here.
-是的 -是的
-Right. -Right?
我准备食物 理所应当
And I'm catering it. Organic, of course.
哦 上帝 见到你真是让我吃惊