盛大婚礼（2013）

I became terrified that I was gonna ruin my marriage the same way.
可我不想那样
And I don't want to be like that.
我不想再和你一样了
I don't want to be like you anymore.
-安德鲁来了 -我知道 老爸
-Andrew's here. -Yeah, I know, Dad.
是谁叫他来的
I wonder who called him?
好吧 听我我说两件事
Yeah, okay, two things.
就算之后你再也不理我了也行
Then if you never speak to me again, so be it.
我知道你会弄明白是我叫他来
Look. I know you would figure out that I called him.
而且你说得对 莱拉 我们很像
And you're right, Lyla, we are alike.
我们都不傻
Neither of us are particularly close to being stupid.
还有 只要你愿意
And you know what, you can hate me
你后半辈子可以一直恨我
for the rest of your life, if that's what you need.
但是作为父亲 我告诉你
But I'm gonna tell you what I need as your father.
作为你的父亲
I need as your father
我应该给我的女儿
to be able to give my little girl
最好的机会 让她幸福
the best chance at a happy life.
我们都很自私
Because ultimately, and we're all selfish,
只有你幸福 我才能幸福
that gives me the best chance at a happy life.
即使是你因此而恨我
Even if you hate me for it.
-我不恨你 -听我说完
-I don't hate you. -Let me finish.
听我说完
Let me finish.
我知道你爱我 宝贝 即使你不这么想
I know you love me, sweetheart, even if you don't.
我真的知道
I do know that.
我还知道 我和你妈妈分开的时候
And I know that when Mom and I split up
你觉得你必须选择一方
you felt that you had to pick a side.
我也能接受你跟了她
And I was okay with that.
因为她比我更需要你
Because, you know, she needed you more than I did.
我明白这一点
And I understand that.
你出生那天 我出门了 高兴地不得了
The day you were born, I went out and I got blasted,
把你妈妈一个人留在家里 喝得烂醉
and I left your mom alone. I just drank my face off.
知道吗 你的小眼睛有点浮肿
You know, you had these swollen little eyes,
还有粉色的小手
and these pink little hands.
你太
You were so...
我都不知道 我这么个老混♥蛋♥
I couldn't rectify how something
怎么会生出这么美丽的女儿
so incandescent could come from an old douchebag like me.
男孩们也是一样
Same with the boys.
不过为了弥补我犯过的几个错误
You know, but for a few mistakes along the way,
我尽力想要在你的生命中占得一席之地
I did the best I could to earn my place in all of your lives.
你可以随便冲我发脾气
You know, you can be mad at me, not mad at me.
但这永远不会改变我对你的感觉
It's never gonna change how I feel about you.
我知道 你觉得这不过是说说而已
And, look, I know these are just words to you now.
但是相信我 你女儿出生之后
But trust me, you'll understand what I mean
你就明白了
when your daughter is born.
你怎么知道会是个女孩
How do you know it's a girl?
我不知道 只是希望你有那份好运
I don't. I'm just hoping you'll be that lucky.
很抱歉我来晚了
And I'm sorry that I'm so late, by the way.
其实我并没打算过来
I actually wasn't planning on coming.
你没错过什么
You didn't miss much.
我妈妈是个兼♥职♥的蕾丝
My mom's a part-time lesbian.
我没什么可说的
I don't have a response for that.
没事
That's okay.
嗨
Hi.
嘿
Hey.
你真漂亮 宝贝
You look beautiful, honey.
我没叫你来
I'm not the one who invited you.
好吧 他说你有事要告诉我
Okay. He said that you had something to tell me.
我们撤了
We're just gonna go.
不 不 不行
No, no, no, no, no.
你现在是我妹妹了 这件事和你也有关
You are my sister now. This involves you as well.
你从没给我打过电♥话♥
You never called me.
你说再也不想理我了
Well, you did say that you never wanted to speak to me again.
你也对我说过狠话
You said terrible things to me.
我知道
I know.
我们当时 我 我错了 很抱歉
We were in a... I was... I'm sorry. I am sorry.
我
I...
我怀孕了
I'm pregnant.
所以你才吐在爸爸身上
That's why you barfed on Dad.
抱歉
Sorry.
哦
Oh.
真的吗 我真不敢相信
Are you serious? I don't believe this.
安德鲁 我不会让孩子的家庭不幸福
Andrew, I won't bring this baby into an unhappy marriage.
我同意 非常同意 我们想想办法
I agree. I agree. We can work on that.
好吧
Okay.
我能不能
Can I...
碧亚翠斯 我知道你还在这
Beatrice. I know you're still here
因为我刚才把你的车钥匙扔进池塘里了
because I just threw your car keys in the pond.
还扔进猫砂里了
And into the kitty litter.
-碧亚翠斯 -我喜欢这样
-Beatrice? -I love it.
-碧亚翠斯 -哦 天啊
-Beatrice. -Oh, my God.
-哦 -是叫你的吧
-Oh. -I think that's for you.
不管你在哪 马上给我出来
Get your tight little ass out here, toute de suite.
碧亚翠斯·玛莎·麦克布莱德 你马上给我出来
Beatrice Martha McBride, you come out here now
不然我就真生气了 还要把你的房♥子毁了
or I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house...
你再不闭嘴 大家都该被你烦死了
And you'll give everybody here a migraine if you don't shut the dilly up.
你想干什么
What do you want?
好了
Okay.
你们继续 很抱歉打断了你们
Here you go. Sorry for cutting in.
我只是想告诉你一些事
I just want to tell you something.
好啊 我们都听着呢
Well, okay. We're all listening.
如果我对生活有所感悟的话 它就像一场梦
If I've learned anything about life, it's that it's all but a dream.
-说得好 -而且也没有魔法师
-Brilliant. -And there's no wizard
在幕后操纵我们
pulling levers behind a curtain,
也就是说 据我所知
which means, as far as I can see,
爱上一个人 只有一个作用
the only real use in loving someone
那就是让你的生活更美好
is that it makes your life better.
而如果没有你 我的生活会黯淡得多
And my life would suck infinitely more without you in it.
哦
Aww!
就说这些
That's it?
这是真心话
That's the truth.
好吧 好吧 我给你个答案
Okay. Okay. I just have one answer for you.
不 不 我没问你什么问题
No, no, I did not ask you a question.
答案是 是的
The answer is yes.
我什么也没问他
I did not ask him a question.
没错 我就是个混♥蛋♥ 我总跟女人眉目传情
Yes. Yes. Yes, I am a horse's ass. Yes, I will ogle,
不过我再也不会勾搭别的女人了
but never again, other than perhaps mentally,
顶多就是想想
fondle another woman.
没错 我也会让你难堪
And yes, I will embarrass you,
让你吃惊 还总会让你
and shock you, and often cause you
质疑自己
to question every last reason in the world
为什么要爱上我
why you would ever love me in the first place.
-真的 -你
-Yes. -You...
-嗯 -觉得我还爱你
-Yeah? -Think that I still love you?
你不爱我了
Really, you don't?
-继续说 -哦 哦 我继续
-Keep going. -Right, right. And yes,
我宁可用热汤勺挖出眼球
I would rather gouge out my eyeballs with hot spoons
也不想让你再感到痛苦
than cause you pain again.
而且 我会把你供在大理石台面上
And yes, I will keep you on an alabaster pedestal.
说说而已
Words.
而且
And yes,
只要你同意
I will love you and only you for the rest of my life,
我成为你的丈夫
if you will allow me
我下半辈子都会只爱你一个人
the honor of becoming your husband.
你到底从哪拿来的戒指
Where the fuck did you get that ring?
我拿这戒指有一阵子了 大概六年左右吧
I've had it around for a while, six years or so.
六年
Six years?
那么 你怎么说
So, what do you say?
管他呢
Oh, what the hell.
这就对了
That's the spirit.
接下来
Okay then.
依据我手中仍然被赋予的权利
By the power still vested in me,
我现在宣布你们结为夫妻