盛大婚礼（2013）

Hmm.
-天啊 太尴尬了 -是啊
-Oh, God. This is humiliating. -Mmm-hmm.
-什么 -我们怎么办
-What? -What do we do?
-关于哪件事 -碧碧 你明知故问
-About which one? -You know, Bebe.
没她你就活不了 是吗 嗯
Can't live without her, right? Right?
好吧 你得想明白你该怎么做
Okay. So, you've gotta think about what you're gonna do.
好
Right.
-孩子们呢 -不知道啊
-Where are the children? -I don't know.
觉得太丢人 找地方躲起来了吧
Dying of embarrassment somewhere?
你说他们会不会取消婚礼
You think they might call it off?
天啊 玛芬 别瞎想了
Oh, man, Muffin, get over it.
没事 不会有事的
Okay. It's okay.
祝你孙辈性别不明 还都是双性恋
You're gonna have beige grandkids that are bilingual.
走着瞧
We'll see about that, won't we?
走着瞧就走着瞧
Oh, we will see about that. Yes, we will.
你没事吧
Sure you're okay with this?
开什么玩笑
You kidding me?
趁没人看见 赶紧结束这个仪式
Just get this over with before anybody sees us.
-神父 -准备好了吗
-Father? -Everybody ready?
我们用精典荟萃版本就行
Just give us the Cliff Notes version.
对不起 不过我
I'm sorry, but I have...
拜托了 赶快弄完吧
Oh, come on, please, before anything else happens.
好滴
Okey dokey.
梅丽莎 你
Melissa, do you take...
是的 我愿意
Yes, I do.
亚历山德罗·索托·格里芬 你是否愿意
Do you, Alejandro Soto Griffin...
我愿意
Yes.
我愿意
I do.
各位
On your marks...
我要说件事
Get set...
我怀孕了
I'm pregnant.
没想到吧
Surprise.
哦
Oh!
哦 看啊 莱拉
Oh, look! Lyla!
天啊 他们从码头上私奔了
Oh, God, they're eloping on the dock!
不 不要啊
No, no! No!
-停 别这么做 -天啊
-Stop! Don't do it! -Holy mother.
-哦 -亚历山德罗
-Oh! -Alejandro...
你把戒指 对
You put the ring... Yeah.
戴在她手上 你也给他戴上戒指
The ring on her finger. You put the ring on his finger.
-不 别 停下来 -然后 然后 然后
-No, no! Don't! -Blah, blah, blah.
我现在宣布你们正式结为夫妻
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
-你可以 -拜托了 停下
-You may... -Please. Stop!
-亲吻新娘了 -不
-kiss the bride. -No!
-我们现在可以私奔了吗 -当然
-Now can we elope? -Definitely.
-冷静 玛芬 -你怎么能这样
-Now, now, Muffin. -How could you do this to me?
她不会游泳
She can't swim.
真的
Really?
嘿
Hey.
听着 以后可能再也不会见面了 所以
Look, I know we might never see each other again, so,
我觉得应该为我们之间
I thought maybe we'd toast to
美好的友谊而干杯
what was almost a beautiful friendship.
嗯
Hmm.
不 知道吗
No, you know,
是你妈妈告诉我
your mother was the one that told me that
美国女性在性问题上更保守
American women are more reserved when it comes to their sexuality.
当然 她自己是个例外
Except for her, of course.
我大概不会
I think I will not...
再听她的了
take her advice anymore.
哥伦比亚的男人会很激动的
The men of Colombia will be thrilled.
什么
What?
关上门
Close the door.
哦
Oh.
碧碧 碧碧 嘿 碧碧
Bebe! Bebe! Bebe!
是他们吗
Is that them?
是啊 真是完美的一对儿
Yeah. They're gonna be spectacular together.
他们比我们聪明 是吧
They're smarter than we are, huh?
不比咱们聪明也难啊 我想什么呢
It's hard not to be. I mean, what was I thinking?
真是个白♥痴♥ 我到底想什么呢
What an idiot. I mean, what is wrong with me?
不 不是你的错
No, there's nothing wrong with you.
真的不是 碧碧
At all, Bebe.
你知道我怎么想的吗
In fact, you know what I've come to believe?
我觉得你是我们之中最清醒的人
I believe you're the sanest one of all of us.
-才不是 -真的是
-Oh, no. -Yes.
你没必要这么说 简直是疯了
You don't have to say that. That's crazy.
这话一点不假
That doesn't make it any less true.
一直以来 你都比我漂亮
You've always been more beautiful.
爱丽 而且 我想这真的就是
Ellie. And, I mean, I think actually that's
我觉得唐吸引我的
probably one of the reasons
原因之一
that I found Don so attractive.
不是吧 从我第一次介绍你们俩
Come on. You were in love with Don Griffin
在瑰珀翠夏日派对上认识的时候
from the first time I introduced you
你就爱上他了
at the Crabtree summer party.
有那么明显吗
Was it that obvious?
我看很明显啊
Yeah, to me.
那你为什么不开车碾死我
Well, then why didn't you hit me with your car or something?
拜托 你那时候是我最好的朋友
Come on, you were my best friend.
希望现在仍然是好朋友
Still are, I hope.
哦 碧碧 这不关他的事
Oh, Bebe. It wasn't him.
好吧 他确实跟我调情来着
Oh, yeah, okay, so he was flirting,
不过是我先出击的
but I made the first move.
-为什么 -因为
-Why? -Because...
我想比他强势
I wanted to make sure I was over him.
你知道吗 我发现
And you know what? it turns out
很长一段时间以来 我一直都比他强
I've been over him for such a long time.
还有些事 我想让你知道
I want you to know something else.
我很高兴
I've always been happy
他爱上的人是你
that it was you he turned to.
我说了我已经原谅你了
I told you I forgive you.
那也请你原谅他吧
Then forgive him, too.
好爽啊
Oh, my God!
爽死了
Oh, my God.
再来一次
Again.
没问题
Oh, hell yeah.
啊
Ah!
-打扰一下 -没事 谢谢你
-Excuse me... -No, thank you.
至少没人会忘记了
At least no one will ever forget it.
我是个孤儿
I'm an orphan.
不 不至于
No, no. It's not that bad.
我妈妈是女同 而我爸和你妈睡过
My mother's a lesbian, and my father has had his penis in your mom.
啊 想着就恶心
Ugh! That's a picture.
要是能让你好受点的话 我告诉你
If it makes you feel any better, I think my brother
我弟弟估计正在和我亲妹妹滚床单呢
is somewhere having sex with my sister.
什么
What?
他们都不见了
They are all coming out of the woodwork.
天啊 开什么玩笑呢
Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.
不 不是 我说她回酒店了 给我打个电♥话♥
No. No, I'm just saying call me if she gets back to the hotel.
好吧 到底是 听着 我怎么会知道
Well, how the hell... Listen, how am I supposed to know?
所以我才来问你
That's why I'm asking you.
哦
Ow!
终于凑齐了两边 我♥干♥什么了啊
And that makes a full set. What the hell did I do now?
你知道这么多年里 为什么我和你不亲近吗
Do you know why I've stayed away from you for all these years?
我大概知道 不过 你说
I have some idea. But I... Okay.
因为不管你喜不喜欢 我都是你的女儿
Because like it or not, I'm your daughter.
贾里德继承了妈妈所有的特质
Jared got all of Mom's traits,
而我却很不幸地继承了你的一切
and I won the lottery with all of yours.
对啊 要是我们完全一样的话
Yeah. You know, if we're the same,
怎么会没有人每五分钟就打你一拳
how come no one's popping you in the face every five minutes?
嗯
Huh?
知道吗 你背叛妈妈的时候
You know, when you cheated on Mom
我就害怕我会以同样的方式毁掉自己的婚姻