阿斯彭文稿
The Aspern Papers
Part 9
Feb. 16, 2020, 8:49 a.m.
刺痛吾心 莫过于此
has shocked me more than any preceding.
把我的心打上沉痛的枷锁
It sits heavy on my heart
一次又一次把我召唤至痛苦的深渊
and calls back what I wish to forget
伴随着数不清的噩梦
in many a feverish dream.
我们的爱已破碎
Our love broken.
我自己 就是我最大的敌人
Myself, my own dread foe.
无心慢踱 双目涣散
I have been wandering companionless with a joyless eye
却发现任何事都毫无意义
that finds no object worth its constancy.
现今 我比以往更加向往死亡
Now, more than ever, seems it rich to die,
我已厌倦了永生的朝圣
but I weary of this eternal pilgrimage.
我曾想过回去
I had scruples about going back.
但有事耽搁 无法如愿
And yet I had others about not doing so.
对缇娜而言 我的缺席更是沉重的负担
Perhaps my absence would be a heavier burden for Tina.
莫顿阁下来了
Il signor Morton.
好美啊
How pretty.
把它们放进水里
我听说你在 我在想
I was told you were... Well, I was wondering...
抱歉我得继续
Forgive me if I continue.
我不想强求
I wouldn't want to impose.
你会留在威尼斯吗
Do you intend to stay in Venice?
我可以留下来
I could stay.
这都取决于你
It all depends on you.
哦我要走了
Oh, I'm leaving.
你要走了
You're leaving?
是的
Yes.
我决定自己一个人去旅行
I decided to go on a trip of my own.
那么 我可以陪着你
Well, I could accompany you.
我会很荣幸的 如果
It would be a great pleasure for me if...
只是如果
If only...
我明白了 你说的对
I realised, you were right.
手稿会封印我们之间的关系
The papers will seal our union.
关于手稿 你现在做什么都没有用了
Oh, there's nothing that you can do to get the papers now.
为什么
Why?
你走后 我把它们都烧了
I burned them after you left.
你怎么可以这样做呢
How could you do such a thing?
你该等我的 该跟我说的
You should have waited for me. You should have talked to me.
这是她想让我做的事
It's what she would have wanted me to do.
那我呢
And what about me?
你考虑过我吗
Did you ever think of me?
有的
I did.
那我还能再见到你吗
Shall I see you again?
不
No.
你可真是无情啊 缇娜女士
You are inhuman, Miss Tina.
无情
Inhuman?
就像我姨娘跟你说的
As my aunt told you,
那是一百多年前的诗里所说
that's what the poets used to say a hundred years ago.
不要试图模仿他们 你永远也做不到
Don't try and imitate them, you'll never do as well.
听着 我只是想
Look, I... I simply wanted to...
我们怎么想的不重要
What we want doesn't matter.
重要的是我们能得到什么
What matters is what we get.
这就是她死前想跟我说的话
That's what she was trying to tell me before she died.
所以我该这么想吗
So that's what I'm to understand?
人不能守护自己的神明
One doesn't defend one's god.
神明本身就是他的防御
One's god is in himself a defence.
我们必须道别了
We must part now.
必须了
We must.
保重
"巴比伦化为尘土以前
"Ere Babylon was dust,
琐罗亚斯德法师 我那死去的孩子
the Magus Zoroaster, my dead child,
在园中散步之时见到自己的影像
met his own image walking in the garden.
那个幻影
That apparition,
普天之下
sole of men,
只他一人看见"
he saw."
阿斯彭文稿