蠢爸萌妈变错身（2022）

起来 -起来
Up, up. - Up, up.
我们走 -天啊
Up we go - Urrghh, Jesus.
看吧 也没那么糟 -糟 这简直是棒
See, that wasn't so bad - So bad? This is amazing.
也不会导致放屁 -嗯 没有可怕的副作用
And no gassy side effects - Hmm, No terrifying side effects
是吧 -嗯
Right? - Hmm.
嘿 丽莉 你愿意喂我吃莓吗
Hey, Lily. Will you berry me?
啥
What?
草莓
Strawberries.
哦 愿意
Oh, yes,
只要你愿意喂我胡萝卜 -当然
Only if you carrot me. - Of course.
这样真好
Oh that's very nice.
哎 乖一点
A yeah.. Be nice.
你乖一点 -我很乖 再来
You, be nice. - I was nice. Again.
等等
Wait
敬为人父母 -敬为人父母
to Parenthood. - To Parenthood.
不 我想吃那个
No, no, I want that one
还要
More.
好吃
Yum.
你嘴角沾了些东西 -什么 这里吗
You have a little something, something on the, -What? here?
这里
Here.
感觉好奇怪 -太奇怪了
This is weird. - This is so weird.
怎么回事啊 -干柴烈火
What's goin' on? - Very hot in here.
这是真的吗 -真的
Is it really happening? - Yup. Hmm.
我好兴奋 说实话 自从我变成了你
I am so excited, to be honest since I became you
我就一直等着 操 我
I have been waiting to... fuck, me, yes,
这太奇怪了 你不觉得奇怪吗
This is so weird. Is it not weird to you?
是
Oui.
在我和自己亲热的时候
I love the way my mustache feels on my face
我喜欢我脸上胡子的感觉 还有看看这个
when I make out with myself. Oh, plus, look at this.
我看着你 也看着我
I look at you, look at me. Huh.
好 我要上我自己了 -等等 等等
Okay, I fuck me now. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
我觉得我还没准备好干我自己
I don't think, I'm ready to bang me yet.
好的 每次我遇到这种情况时
Okay, what I do when it happens to me,
这样子都很有效 -确实有效
something that works every time. - This is working.
我会深呼吸
Is that I breathe
然后喜欢盯着你的胸
and then I like to look at your boobies.
这对我真的没用 啊
Yeah, that's not really working for me. Agh, you gotta still
你还硬了 什么鬼啊 我的身体拥有自己的
have a boner. What the fuck? It's like my body has a mind
思想吗 -没错 我现在可以上我了
of its own. - Yes. Exactly. I can fuck me now.
不 等等 等等
No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
我不喜欢我的样子 -什么
I don't like the way I look. - What?
我挺着大肚子 我很胖
I'm big. I mean, I'm massive
像个房♥子 别看我的下巴
like a house. Don't look at my chins, just
你看我这副样子
look at me.
我在看
I am looking.
你看看你
You look at you.
丽莉 你……
Lily, you are...
体态丰满 身体很棒 你充满了朝气
voluptuous, bodacious. You are full of life.
你是神圣女性的化身
You are the embodiment of the divine feminine.
继续说
Keep talking.
此时此刻 你在我们之间
You are creating life in this moment right now
孕育生命 告诉我
between us. Tell me,
还有什么比这件事更美好 没有
What could be more beautiful than that? Nothing.
你很了不起 你的胸堪称完美 -嘘
You're incredible. And your tits are perfection. - Sshhh
哦 什么
Oh, what?
好 很好 等等
Oh yeah, That's very good, wait, wait, ugh.
我觉得我们之间隔着东西
I feel like there's something between us.
狗狗式
Doggie Style.
准备好没 -好了
You're ready? - Oui.
好的 -好的 好的
Okay. - Okay, okay, okay.
我完事了
I did it.
你爽了吗 -爽了一下
Was that good for you? - For a little while.
额 欢迎成为女人
Ugh. Welcome to being a woman.
太激烈了 -是啊
That was intense. - Yeah.
我觉得蘑菇的效果退去了
I think the mushrooms were off.
我觉得我是世上第一个被♥插♥的男人
I think, I am the first man on earth to be penetrated.
被我自己 你怎么能…… -你真是个怪男人 菲利普
By myself. Why could you... You are strange man, Philippe.
哈 我想我知道该怎么叫我们的儿子了
Huh? I think I know what we should call our son.
小菲利普 -不是
Baby Philippe. - No.
小迈洛 寓意着一切都会好起来
Baby Milo. It means everything's going to be okay.
噢 -他踢你了 他踢你了
Oh. - He kicked. He kicked.
他喜欢这样 我也喜欢
He liked it and I liked it.
这是身体交换的电影
It's from a body swap movie.
所以看起来正合时宜 -说到身体交换
So it seems so appropriate. - Speaking of body swap.
你怎么会知道这么多身体交换的电影
How do you know so much about body swap movies?
我从小就一直看这类片子
I watch them all the time when I was a kid,
因为我妈妈 -我妈妈也喜欢身体交换的电影
'coz of my mom, - Y'all my mom like the body swap films to.
不是 她忙得没时间看任何东西 -我不明白
No, she's too busy to watch anything. - I don't understand.
那你为什么会这么喜欢身体交换的电影
So then know why do you like the body swap movies?
我讨厌我的生活 我想成为其他人 所以
I hated my life. I wanted to be somebody else. So I put all my
我拼尽全力去避免成为我妈妈那种人
energy into making sure that I would never become like my mom,
一直努力扑灭怒火
always trying to put out fires,
控制她造成的灾难 不做任何计划
controlling a catastrophe she created, never planning for anything.
她无所谓的结束了一生 所以
She ended up living her life like. nothing mattered. and so,
一切都无所谓 我不想我们的儿子经历这些
nothing mattered. I don't want that kind of cache for our son.
我理解
I understand.
我们成功了 我们成功了
We did it. We did it..
恭喜
Congratulations.
恭喜
Congratulations?
等等 等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait
我们该做的都做了 我不明白
We did everything that we were supposed to do. I don't under-
这应该有用的
this was supposed to work.
你认为我们还需要做什么 -我不知道
What else do you think we need to do? - I don't know.
丽莉 你是这方面的专家
Lily, you are the expert at these things
你认为这是怎么回事 -我只是小时候
What do you think it is? I just watched a bunch
看了一堆脑残片 我从没实战过 菲利普
of dumb movies as a kid. I've never actually done this before Philippe.
等等 我有个主意
And there's a wait, wait. I have an idea.
让我试试 好吗
Let me just try something, okay?
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我在尝试用心灵感应交流
I'm trying communicating, telepathically.
什么 给我 -嘿 不
What? Give me that! - Hey, no.
让我看看是不是漏掉了什么 -你很明显不知道
Let me see if we're missing something. - You clearly do not
自己在做什么 我是从和尚那里学来的
know what you're doing, okay, I learned this from the monks,
我和他们在山里呆了一年
I spent a year with them in the mountains.
我受够了你的蠢故事 菲利普
I have had enough of your stupid stories Philippe.
我只想换回我的身体 好吗
I just want my body back. Okay?
给我 -住手
Give this to me. - Stop.
让我试试 -别那么幼稚
Let me try. - Stop acting like a child.
别装得好像你什么都知道
Stop acting like you know everything.
给我 -不
Give it to me. - No
快给我
Give me that, now!
看你做了什么
Look what you did.
我们现在结束了吗
Are we yet over now?
哦不 哦不不不
Oh no. Oh no, no, no.
天啊 菲利普
Oh my God. Oh, Philippe!
我变回丽莉了
I'm Lily again!
天啊 宝宝
Oh my God! Baby!
怀孕的感觉从来没这么好过 嗨 亲爱的
Its never felt so good to be pregnant. Hi, honey!
我的天啊 菲利普 成功了
Ugh. My God, Philippe. It worked.
菲利普 嘿
Philippe. Hey
菲利普
Philippe.
醒醒
Wake up!
菲利普
Philippe?
噢
Oh.
我这是在哪儿 丽莉 是你吗 我能听见你
Where am I? Lily, is that you? I can hear you.
我的天
Oh my God!
不 不 妈妈会解决的 好吗
No. No, mommy's gonna fix this, okay?
妈妈有这个 很高兴见到你 但现在不行 好吗
Mommy's got this. It's so nice to meet you but not yet, okay?
母性 母性 好的
Mother instinct, Mother instinct, okay, okay
怎么办 怎么办
what I do, what I do.