真假三莎伦（2018）

Life has a way of catching up to you
生活总有办法追上你
especially when you least expect it.
特别是在你最意想不到的时候
That's always been the case for me.
这种事总是发生在我身上
Hey baby, little baby!
嘿 宝宝 小宝宝
Let's get him!
我们去抓住他！
Welcome to my existence.
欢迎来到我的生活
shut up!
闭嘴！
Stop it!
住手！
You like that?
喜欢吗？
Life as a kid was never a bed of roses.
我的童年生活从未一帆风顺
And when I think back, they were not the best of times.
每当我回想起 这绝对不算我生命中最好的时光
Geek!
书呆子
And definitely not my most fondest.
也绝对不是我最喜欢的一段
Hey dick weed.
嘿 娘炮
Wedgie!
娘娘腔！
Yeah, those were times that I'd prefer
没错 这些是我想要封存
to forget and leave dormant in the back of my mind.
永远不再记起的回忆
Having fun, jerk wad?
好玩吗？娘炮
I've always imagined being cool.
我总是会幻想自己也能是个酷小伙儿
Mm, ladies.
噢 女士们
Whatever that was.
不管是哪种酷都行
But as long as I can remember,I was anything but cool.
但我从来就没酷过
Five.
五
Oh god.
噢 我的天
Some of this
接我一招
Some of that.
再吃我一脚
Boom.
来吧
And that's when I discovered The Mack.
正是这时候 我第一次接触到电影《老兄》
And never forget.
永远不要忘了
The greatest blaxploitation movie
这可是有史以来最棒的黑人崛起电影
of all time, with Max Julien and Carol Speed.
马克斯·朱利安和卡罗尔·斯皮德出演
Hands down, the best pimp movie ever.
有史以来最棒的皮条客传记
And it's gonna continue straight ahead.
未来它也会是最棒的
Until somebody out there
直到有人
turns out the lights on this small planet.
把咱们地球给毁灭了
Can you dig it? Can you dig it?
你搞明白了吗？ 你搞明白了吗？
Yeah, yeah.
嗯
I can dig it, yeah.
我明白了 嗯
Right on. - Right on, right on.
好极了 好极了 好极了
Some kids wanted to be doctors, firemen, or policemen.
有些孩子想做医生 消防员 或是警♥察♥
I wanted to be a pimp.
而我想做个皮条客
Woo, woo.
喔
A P-I-M-P, baby.
皮！条！客！
It's actually pretty easy to do.
这其实还挺容易的
After a quick stop at the thrift shop
二手商店一通采购
wearin' your grandpa's clothes, it was on.
再穿几件外公的衣服 皮条客来也
New pants for me.
我的新行头
All right, all right.
好了好了
Hey, I see you, I see you, Paulie.
嘿 你好啊 保利
Hey man, wanna give it a pound?
嘿兄弟 来击个拳？
That's okay, you don't have to do that.
没关系 你不必这么做
Hey girl.
嘿 妹子
Can you dig it?
你能看懂吗？
Yeah, I like your smile, that's okay.
行吧 我喜欢你的微笑 很不错
Mmkay, how we doin', how we doin'?
好了 大家伙都好吗？
Hey playas.
嘿 伙计们
Let's get him.
我们去抓住他
Okay, yeah.
好吧 没错
That wasn't workin' out for me either.
这招对我来说也不好使
For a guy like me, all was lost.
像我这样的失败者
The closest I got to getting a hot chick
我能得到的妞
was Miss August,Jennifer Wilson.
只有八月刊女士珍妮弗·威尔逊
I was so bad.
我是个坏小子
Jonah, open the door!
乔纳 给我开门！
I'm brushin' my teeth!
我在刷牙
Mom, Jonah's jerking off again!
妈 乔纳又在里面打手♥枪♥
Jesus, for the love of God.
上帝 看在耶稣的份上
Jonah, open the door! - You interrupting is just
乔纳 给我开门 你现在干扰我
gonna make this last longer.
只会更耽误时间
Mom!
妈！
Mom!
妈！
Jonah, not on my good towels!
乔纳 不许用我的毛巾！
Oh, Jesus Christ.
噢 我的老天爷
Jonah, open the door!
乔纳 给老娘开门！
Jonah!
乔纳！
Hurry.
赶紧的
Jonah!
乔纳！
Jonah, open the damn door!
乔纳！该死的开门！
Jonah, right now!
乔纳 就现在！
I swear to God if you don't come out of here right now I'm--
我发誓你要是现在不过来开门 我...
The emergence of the internet
网络和社交媒体的出现
and social media was a major game-changer.
改变了我的生活
It created millionaires and billionaires over night.
像"Myspace"、谷歌♥、脸书、"BlackPlanet"等网站
With sites like MySpace,Google, Facebook, BlackPlanet
在一夜之间就造出了不少百万富翁甚至亿万富翁
I loved BlackPlanet.
我爱死了"BlackPlanet"
And Twitter?
还有推特
Being a geek was now cool.
做技术宅现在成了一件很酷的事
At 18, I got recruited to work for a big software company.
18岁的时候 我被雇佣到一家大型的软件公♥司♥工作
By the time I was 21, I was loaded.
等到我21岁的时候 我已经名利双收了
And boy did my life change.
我的生活发生了完完全全的改变
Who got shots?
有谁要来一杯？
Who's tryin' to get me drunk, okay?
有没有人想把我灌醉？好
I was a rockstar.
我就像个摇滚巨星
We're gonna cheers this.
我们来干一杯
The high school jocks
至于高中的那些大块头们
were just dumb fucks looking for a job.
还在灰头土脸的找工作
Ooh. All right, let's do it.
噢 好了 咱们上
My time had finally come.
我的光辉岁月终于到来
I decided that I was gonna make my mark
我决定让自己在历史上留下痕迹
and capitalize on this new trend and start my own business.
利用这种势头开始我自己的事业
It was time for me to step up and find my stride.
是时候出发 踏上新的人生轨迹
Be my own man.
活出个样子
That's when I met the Sharons.
就是这时 我遇到了那些莎伦们
I was looking for real estate
我当时正在寻找好地方
to start a new venture
开展一些新企业
that's how I got entangled with Sharon Clark.
就在这时我遇上了莎伦·克拉克
I call her Sharon One.
我叫她莎伦一号♥
Hey.
嘿
Hi, how's it goin'? Good.
进展顺利吗？ 挺好的
So, I think you're gonna love this place.
你一定会爱死这个地方
It's got all the amenities you were looking for.
它满足了你的所有期望
It's got a large bullpen.
面♥积♥超级大
It's very creative.
非常有创造力
It's artsy.
非常艺术
It's quirky, just like you.
很古怪 像你一样
You know me well.
你真了解我
So after this viewing,what are you doin'?
所以 参观完有什么打算吗？
I don't know.
我不知道
What'd you have in mind?
你有什么提议？
Yeah, keep going.
没错 继续
Yeah.
对了
Oh my god, right there.
我的天 就是那儿
Can you believe it?
你能相信吗？
That's me.
那是我
Man, how things have changed.
风水轮流转对吧
Keep going.
继续
Jonah.
乔纳
Whoa, man, are you okay?
喔 兄弟 你还好吗？
She's cheating on me.
她出轨了
She's fucking cheating on me.
她他妈的出轨了