致胜女王（2021）

用某个网站买♥♥到的优♥惠♥券
with these coupons from some website.
抱歉 打断一下
I'm sorry. I'm gonna stop you there.
你是从网站买♥♥到优♥惠♥券
You purchased these coupons off a website?
你知道一岁小孩麦片喝得多凶
Do you have any idea how many cheerios a one-year-old goes through?
这个网站叫什么
Well, what's the name of this website?
"省钱♥达♥人”
Uh, super snappy saver?
"省很多”之类的
Super snazzy something.
"赚很大”
Snazzy super saver. Uh...
我那时还觉得这名子真鸟
I remember thinking, "what a dumb name."
有没有可能是"快速血拼”
Yeah. Sp-speedy shopper? Could that be it?
"快速血拼” 不 差多了
Speedy shopper? No. That's not even close.
我只是想帮忙
Well, I'm trying to be helpful.
你说你已经知道答案
You said you already knew the answers.
我知道多数答案 但重点是 等一下
I-I know a lot of 'em, but the point... One minute.
"爽赚”
Savvy!
女士 你是在说我吗
S... are you talking to me, ma'am?
"爽赚达人”
Savvy super saver.
赚大钱的"赚”
Savvy, is that one v or two?
对啦 就是爽赚达人了
Oh, no, I guess one would be "savy." So it's two. Two v's.
爽赚达人 "省小钱才能赚大财”
"Watch the pennies, and the dollars will take care of themselves."
爽赚达人
Savvy super saver.
我的手好酸
My hands hurt.
我们一天要打包几百张订单
We're filling hundreds of orders a day.
你不觉得一切发生得太快
Don't you feel like this is all happening way too fast?
不 快才好 快是
No, fast is good. Fast is...
惨了 什么
Oh, crap. What?
冻结 不会吧
Frozen? No. No.
您的账户已冻结 康妮
我就说一切发生得太快
Connie, I told you this is all happening too fast!
我就知道
I'm like, "whoop, whoop, whoop!"
迟早会出问题的
Alarm bells are just going off in my mind.
我重新载入网页
Let me refresh it. So just...
好 关闭网页 重新开始
Okay, close the page. Start again.
我们的钱都没了
Did we lose all that money?
我不知道 真操蛋
I don't know. Fuck!
嗯 对
Uh-huh.
账户里有异常巨款 对
Abnormally large amounts of money in the account. Right.
那我们要怎么解除冻结
Okay, and... and how do we unfreeze it?
是吗
Uh-huh.
所以我们要证明是合法事业
Oh, so we just have to prove that it's a legitimate business.
好 了解
Okay. Got it.
好
Yes.
没问题 感谢 拜
All good. Okay. Okey dokey. Thanks so much. Bye.
我就知道天下没这种好事
I knew this was too good to be true.
不见得
Is it though?
支付平台专员说得一副很简单
The PayPal rep made it seem simple enough.
我们要雇用这档事的专家
We just need someone who's had experience with this sort of thing.
像是卖♥♥赃物获得异常巨款
Like selling stolen shit for abnormally large amounts of money.
这档事 没错
Like that sort of thing? Exactly.
最好是
Oh, okay.
盗用你身份的那个女生呢
What about that girl who stole your identity?
谭贝蒂纳 你认真
Tempe Tina? Really?
你要找那位毁了我一生的小贱♥人♥
You wanna go to the little brat who ruined my entire life?
裘裘
Jojo...
阿姐 太扯了 我懂 但我们需要她
Girl, this is unnecessary. I know, but we need her.
这是哪招
What the fuck is this about?
我要澄清一下
Just to clear the air,
我小时候对你做的事只是副业
the shit I did to you as a kid, that was a side gig, okay.
我在搞暗网
I dabble in the dark web.
我这边也要澄清 让你知道一下
Okay, well, just to clear the air on my side, just so you know,
被你耍了后 我去报♥警♥
after that little stunt you pulled, I went to the police.
他们不帮我 确实
They didn't help me. That's true.
我去社会安♥全♥局♥ 他们不相信我
I went to social security. They didn't believe me.
我去银行 结果
And I went to my bank. And guess what?
那些混♥蛋♥不信任我
Those motherfuckers didn't trust me.
妹仔 我因为你负债累累
Girl, you know, I had so much debt because of you.
我还得搬回家跟老妈住
I had to move back home with my mama.
你知道有多丢脸 我是成人女性
You know how embarrassing that shit is? I'm a grown-ass woman.
抱歉
I'm really sorry about that.
没料到会这样
I-I really... I had no idea.
好吧
Yeah, well, okay.
电动车 什么
Electric car? What?
这是电动车吗 好安静
Is this an electric car? It's just so quiet, isn't it?
我以前没被蒙眼过
I mean, I've never been blindfolded before,
他们说的对
and it's true what they say.
其他感官会变得敏锐
All your other senses are so heightened.
我们刚才经过铁轨 我也觉得
Did we just go over train tracks? I felt that.
你感觉到了 对
Did you feel that? Yeah.
感官变敏锐了 好怪
They are heightened, I... That's so weird.
你在吃水果口香糖吧 这就是你吃的
Are you eating juicy fruit? The gum. Is that what you eatin'?
你闻到了 我喜欢水果口香糖
You smell that? Oh, I love juicy fruit.
我超久没吃了 我也是
Oh, I haven't had it in forever. Me either. Me either.
你们闭嘴好吗
Can you guys just shut the fuck up?
失礼了
Okay, rude.
我的专长是资讯安全
My specialty is cybersecurity.
懂吗
You guys have any idea what that means?
毫无概念 不知
No. Not a clue. No.
好 政♥府♥和全球企业
Okay. Governments and global corporations
每天都要应付资金安全攻击
deal with security attacks every single day.
我的工作是辨识和预防攻击
My job is to identify 'em, prevent 'em,
如果他们付我更多钱 我也能创造攻击
or, if they pay me enough, to create 'em.
好假哦
Humblebrag.
你们怎么用优♥惠♥券捞到这么多钱
How the fuck did you make this kind of coin from coupons?
眼罩拿下来
Take 'em off.
这么多钱不能全部流入单一账户
You can't have this much money flowing in a single account.
我能帮你们解除冻结 但要把钱分散
I can unfreeze this for you, but we gotta spread this shit out.
到各大支付平台
I'm talking moneypak, PayPal, venmo, Google pay.
好样的
Okay, wow.
你们是靠这个两个网站赚钱
You're cashing in with this craptacular site,
爽赚达人
savvy super saver?
这是模板 对
It was a template. Right.
这个网站不精明 顾客才是
And the site isn't savvy, the shoppers are.
讲得好 这才是重点
There we go. That part.
这个网站的登记名字是
The site is registered
哈肯萨克市的查理巴金
to a Charles barkin from hackensack.
查理巴金 是《天堂狗历险记》里的狗狗
Charlie barkin. It's from all dogs go to heaven.
地址是新泽西州一家宠物店 没错
And the address is a petco in New Jersey. Boom.
瞧你们俩 越来越像犯罪女王了
Well, look at you. We got ourselves a couple of queenpins in the making.
靠 听到没
Damn, you hear that? Mm-hmm.
我们是犯罪女王 爽啦
We queenpins, bitch.
别得意 你们现在太容易就被抓到了
Relax, 'cause it's still way too easy to trace back to you.
你们还有事情瞒着我吗
Is there anything else I should know about?
照过来 裘裘让你爽爽赚
Yo, yo, yo. It's time to save with jojo.
知道怎样才能狂捞猛赚
You know what makes your Booty so fine?
爽赚达人网站让你省一半
Half-off Booty from savvysupersaver.Com.
你认真
Seriously?
我的频道是要打响我的品牌
You see, my YouTube's a part of my brand, so...
实实在在的48卷喔
That's 48 real rolls, okay, y'all?
前往爽赚达人
Head over to savvy super sa...
用户已关闭账户 哇咧
安怎 你去哪了 美眉
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? Where you go, girl?
相信我 没人鸟你的品牌
Trust me, nobody gives a bag of dicks about your brand.
你们需要掩护这种地下事业
What you guys need is a front for your business.
这些都是脏钱
All of this money is dirty,
别把钱花在无法注销的玩意上
so don't go spending dough on shit you can't write off.
先等六个月
Give it six months,
确定外头风平浪静
and make sure it ain't alarm-ageddon out there.
懂了没 首先需要许多化名
You got that? And to start, we need aliases, and lots of 'em.
然后开设银行账户 申请信♥用♥卡♥
From there, we open up bank accounts, apply for credit cards,
这些事都别在家里做
and don't be doing this shit at home.
租间房♥子当作秘密基地
Rent a stash house, okay?