致胜女王（2021）

真实事件改编
警♥察♥
亚利桑那州 凤♥凰♥城
克莱顿大道
兄弟们 准备开战
Gentlemen! Lock and load!
致胜女王
康妮卡明斯基 你被捕了 亮出手来 手举高
Connie kaminski, you're under arrest. Show me your hands. Show 'em!
对 那是我 康妮卡明斯基
Yep, that's me. Connie kaminski.
吓到吃手手
And holy shit, that was scary.
我差点尿床 他们干嘛不敲门
I mean, I almost wet the bed. I don't know why they didn't just knock.
这是个关于优♥惠♥券的故事 人见人爱的优♥惠♥券
I mean, this is a story about coupons. Little old coupons. They j...
这样吧 我从头说起
You know what? I should probably start from the beginning.
嗨 又是我
Hiya. Me again.
从这里开始正好
Okay, yeah. This is the perfect place to start.
优♥惠♥券送杯杯
说来有趣
Here's a fun fact:
我是三届的奥♥运♥竞走冠军
I'm a three-time gold-medal-winning olympic racewalker.
但有人在乎吗
And you know what that's worth out in the real world?
我连屁都不是
Absolutely nothing.
知道有多少奥♥运♥选手都没名气
Did you know most olympic athletes aren't famous?
包准也没多有钱
And they sure as heck aren't rich.
谷哥一下就知道 专心看 等会聊
Go ahead, look it up. I mean, not now, but, you know, later.
我退休了 但我不认输
And, yeah, I may have retired, but I don't quit.
我认为无论做什么 都要全力以赴
I figure no matter what you do, give it all you got.
嗨 嗨 佛罗斯太太
Hola. Hola, Mrs. Flores.
有我的优♥惠♥券吗
Do you have my coupons?
当然(外语）
好棒棒
Oh. Super-duper.
等等
Hey.
你知道的
You know what,
卫生纸永远都不够 对吧
you can never have too much toilet paper, right?
好好享用
Okay, enjoy.
瑞克卡明斯基 国税局稽核员
带件外套 天气预报说克里夫兰会下雨
You might wanna pack a jacket. The weather showed rain in Cleveland.
我看到你又给送报姐免费的好东西了
Oh, um, hey, did I just see you giving the paper lady a bunch of stuff for free?
瑞克 她生活很辛苦
Rick, she's barely getting by.
但她有工作
Yeah, but at least she has a job.
你钱花太凶了
And you are spending money that we don't have.
我不是花钱 我是替家里省钱
I am not spending money. I am saving us money.
这是我老公瑞克 少来
This is my husband Rick. You literally are.
他在国税局工作
He works for the IRS.
他的工作就是挑人毛病
And his job is to look for people's mistakes.
我去拿
I'll get it.
这是什么 新买♥♥的
What's this? Is this new?
这里有好几打的洗衣精吧
There's, like, 50 jugs of tide.
这是优♥惠♥券上的必买♥♥好物
It's couponing 101.
洗衣精的特♥价♥期限是半年 当然要囤货
When tide hits a six-month stock-up price, you stock up, okay?
那些洗衣精值400美元 我只花了57元
That's 400 dollars' worth of detergent that I got for $57.
我妈也用过优♥惠♥券
My mom used coupons...
我们以前不常吵钱的事
We didn't always argue about money.
我们是决定生小孩后才开始吵
It was only after we tried to start a family.
人工生殖中心
余额71,545.17元
我们一试 再试
And we tried. And we tried.
然后再尝试
And we tried.
然后终于中了
And then, it finally happened.
我们原本会有个女娃
We were going to have a girl.
但我还是流产了
But I just couldn't get to the finish line.
过不久 我们什么都不吵了
After that, for a while we didn't argue about anything.
瑞克经常需要出差工作
Then Rick discovered he could travel more for work.
现在他每个月离家三周
Now he's gone three weeks out of every month.
凤♥凰♥城天港国际机场
但不要紧
But that's okay.
不然我就
'Cause if that didn't happen,
不会认识我好闺蜜裘裘
I might not have met my best friend, jojo.
照过来 裘裘让你爽爽赚
Yo, yo, yo! It's time to save with jojo.
为何我这么爱优♥惠♥券
Here is the thing I love about coupons.
我能控制时间 我能控制收入
I control my time, I control my income,
我能控制生活品质
I control my life.
裘裘本周最优♥惠♥在这里
So, jojo's deal of the week is right here...
你确定有控制好收入
You sure as shit doing a good job controlling your income.
妈 因为你破产了
Mom. 'Cause you ain't got no money.
别闹 妈 别闹啦
Stop. Mama, no. Stop it!
我正忙着打造我的品牌
You know I'm just... I'm over here busy trying to build my brand
我要当个成功的企业家
as a successful entrepreneur.
我自己就是执行长
I'm my own ceo.
执行长 你说什么鬼话
Ceo! What the f are you talking about?
你只是没业绩的三流销♥售♥员
You nothing but a saleswoman that don't make no sales.
妈 创业不容易
Yeah, mama, that's a business. Sometimes you don't make sale...
你听过乔布斯吗
You ever heard of Steve Jobs?
你又懂什么了
What do you know about a job?
随便 你继续嘴炮 我要去隔壁了
Okay, mama. You be like that. I'm going next door.
你干嘛成天跟那女的混
Why you gotta spend so much time with that girl?
你和她拿着食物券到处逛
You and her carting around all them food stamps.
那不是食物券 是优♥惠♥券
They're not food stamps. They're coupons.
白人能用 黑人就不行吗
White people use them. Why can't we?
那如果白人跳桥
Oh, so if white people were jumping off a bridge...
我的天 又来了
Oh, my gosh. Again.
就算白人跳桥
No, if white people were jumping off a bridge,
我也不会跟着跳 你这什么态度
I would not jump off a bridge. Why you got such a damn attitude?
你老是在抱怨白人
You're always talking about white people! Like, no, of course not!
烦死人了
Get on my nerves.
哈利路亚 赞美上帝 看谁来了
Oh, hallelujah, praise the lord. Look who's here.
省钱救星 要出门喔 屎瑞克
The savior of savings. What up, Rick dick?
有个问题
Oh, hey, I had a question for you.
有谁见到你感到开心吗
Um, has anybody ever been happy to see you?
你听过有人说
Like, have you ever walked into a room and someone's gone like,
"大家看”"最酷的国税局稽核员来了”
"hey, everybody, look! My cool IRS auditor just walked in"?
他们不必高兴 是喔
Yeah, they don't have to be happy. Oh, okay.
我受到尊敬和看重
I'm respected. I'm valued.
我要走了 赞啦
I'm leaving. There you go.
就等你这句
Those are the two words we love to hear you say.
慢走不送 拜 瑞克
All right, now. Bye, Rick.
瑞克 还有一个问题 别甩门
Hey, Rick, I had one more question. Don't slam...
嗨 阿姐 嗨 裘裘
Hey, girl. Hiya, jojo.
我有东西给你
All right, I have got some stuff for you.
看这些 我的天啊
Look at all these. Oh, my gosh.
大日子 大日子
Big day. Big day.
买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥ 买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥ 爽啦
Buy one, get one. Bogo!
瑞克很高兴 我教你囤货吧
Rick should be happy I taught you how to stockpile.
他根本不懂
Yeah, he doesn't get any of this.
你看 我差一个牙膏盒
Oh, lookee. I only need one more colgate proof of purchase
就能得到电♥信♥公♥司♥的免费礼券 是不是
to get a free at&t gift card. You see that?
瑞克懂得用牙膏省电♥话♥费吗 才不知道
You think Rick knows how to pay a phone bill with toothpaste? No.
那你赢了
You're winning.
你知道赢会改变头脑的运作
Hey, did you know that winning actually changes the way your brain works?
每赢一次就会变聪明一点
Like, every time you win, you get a teensy bit smarter.
又叫"赢家效应”
They call it the winner effect.
你越常赢就越会赢
You know, basically, the more you win, the more you will win.
赢成为常态
Winning becomes habit.
我真的需要赢
I really need a win.
A&G大卖♥♥场
太好了
Yes!
高露洁牙膏
葛瑞 今天好吗
You doing okay today, Greg?
我在书上看到 你就算再幸运
You know, I read that if you're lucky,
最多也只能在地球上活3万天
you only get about 30,000 days on planet earth.
随便 日子不多
Right. That's not a lot.
也许你该活得精彩一点
Maybe you should try to make every day count.
总共是138.55美元
Total is $138.55.
是这样吗
Is it?
认真 对
Are you serious? Yeah.
一整叠优♥惠♥券
It's like a thousand coupons, man.
折扣1 2
折扣1元
折扣122.1元 总计16.45元
爽了吧 省了122.1美元
Well, good for you, lady. You saved $122.10.
我很爽 葛瑞 有够爽
It is good for me, Greg. It is good for me.