非常男女（2001）

-Another one. -So?
- 我还能继续 - 继续啊!
-I can keep going. -Go!
- Eenie, meenie, minie-- - Moe
-Eenie, meenie, minie-- -Moe.
- 你妈妈是-- - Ho...
-Your mom`s a-- -Ho.
- 他是个著名的小丑 - Bobo
-He`s a famous clown. -Bobo.
Mitch, 别说了
Mitch, cut it out.
停下
Stop.
- 再给你一个 - 但我是在告诉他--
-Another one. -But I was--
再一个!
That`s another one!
- 再一个给Ox还是Mitch? - 再一个
-One more for Ox or for Mitch? -Another.
- 我糊涂了 - 闭嘴, Wang Chung
-I confused. -Shut up, Wang Chung.
我这辈子吃定你们了, 你们是我的了
I got you for the rest of your Iives. You`re mine.
下次我要敲烂你们的脑袋
Next time, I`m cracking skulls.
我说了多少次了我不去Princeton?
How many times have I said I`m not going to Princeton?
我不是在给你施加压力
I`m not pressuring you.
只要去读四年
Just give it four years.
如果你不喜欢, 你可以来我的所里工作
If you don`t Iike it, you can work at my firm.
我不想过和你一样的生活!
I don`t want your Iife!
没事, 儿子
That`s okay, son.
我听说Priscilla的事了
I heard about what happened with Priscilla.
好消息是...
The good news is...
...我找到了一个绝佳的 帮你恢复元气的女孩
...I`ve got the perfect rebound girl.
真的?
Really?
Beverly! 能来这里一下吗?
Beverly! Could you come in here?
那是妈妈!
That`s Mom!
你觉得如何, 孩子?
What do you say, kiddo?
我不打扰你们了
I`m gonna Ieave you two alone.
你喜欢在上面还是下面, 亲爱的?
Would you prefer the top or bottom, dear?
哦, 上帝啊!
Oh, my God!
这么说你恋爱了?
So you in love?
- 是的, 我想是的 - 那家伙是谁?
-Yeah, I think I am. -Well, who is this guy?
他的名字是Blane, 是个四年级学生 他是那么的美丽
His name is Blane. He`s a senior. He`s so beautiful.
Janey? 甜心?
Janey? Sweetheart?
嗨, 爸爸
Hi, Daddy.
出什么事了吗? 吃晚饭的时候你好像很安静
Is something wrong? You were quiet at dinner.
爸爸, 你趴在桌上几乎就没醒过
You were passed out on the table.
听着, 宝贝儿...
Listen, honey...
...我的脑子也许不是一直很清醒...
...I may not always be coherent or conscious...
...但我知道我的女儿有些心事
...but I know when my girl`s got something on her mind.
嗯, 有个受欢迎的男生, Jake
Well, there is this popular boy, Jake.
哦, 甜心
Oh, sweetie.
Jake把你的肚子搞大了, 是不是?
Jake knocked you up, didn`t he?
不, 他约我出去
No, he asked me out.
你喜欢他吗? 被他所吸引吗?
Do you Iike him? Are you attracted to him?
我是说, 你会为他“吹”?
I mean, would you give him head?
他很可爱, 不过...
He is kind of cute, but...
...他一直像个傻瓜一样
...he`s always been a total jerk.
很奇怪他现在突然和我讲话了
It`s weird that he`s talking to me now.
特别是在你肥了了几磅以后
Especially after you`ve packed on a couple of pounds.
你说我该怎么办?
What do you think I should do?
甜心, 你看
Look, sweetie.
我从来都不希望 你做任何违背你自我的事...
I never want you to do anything that compromises who you are...
...因为对我而言, 你非常非常地特别
...because you`re very, very special to me.
如果Jake约你出去纯粹是为了上你...
If Jake is only asking you out to get into your pants...
...嗯, 我想我会说...
...well, then I`d say...
...和他出去吧
...go out with him.
你还能增加一些受关注程度
You could certainly use the popularity points.
而如果Jake喜欢你...
And if Jake Iikes you...
...也许那些孩子 不再会把屎袋扔到门廊上
...then maybe those kids`II quit throwing bags of shit on the porch.
我感觉好多了
I feel better.
谢谢你的建议, 爸爸
Thanks for the advice, Daddy.
我就是为了这个而来的, 南瓜奶
That`s what I`m here for, pumpkin-tits.
Catherine
Catherine.
- 我要求你帮个忙 - 时间正好
-I need to ask you a favor. -It`s about time.
不, 不是那个
No, not that.
你是高中里最残酷无情的女生
You`re the cruelest girl in high school.
你是唯一一个可以哄骗Janey喜欢上我的
You`re the only one who can help trick Janey into Iiking me.
那个戴眼镜扎马尾辫的女孩?
That girl with the glasses and the ponytail?
别忘了还有粘有颜料的工装裤
Don`t forget the paint-covered overalls.
嗯...
Well...
...很有难度
...it`s going to be difficult.
不过我想我可以帮你
But I think I can help you.
坐下
Sit.
但有条件
For a price.
这一次, 我不要你的车
And this time, I don`t want your car.
我要你
I want you.
Catherine, 那太恶心了, 你是我姐姐
Catherine, that`s disgusting. You`re my sister.
只是血缘上的
Only by blood.
- 这个家里的人到底是怎么回事啊? - 嗨, 你到底要不要我帮你?
-What is wrong with this family? -Hey, do you want my help or not?
好吧, 你要做三件事...
Okay, there are three things you need to do...
...来把Janey玩弄在你手心
...to have Janey eating out of your hand.
首先, 你要赢得她的信任
First, you earn her trust.
阿飞们!
Punk!
拜托, 走开点!
Come on, Ieave him alone!
嗨! 来啊, 伙计们, 退后 够了, 好不好?
Hey! Come on, guys, back off. That`s enough, okay?
你这个小混♥蛋♥
You Iittle shit.
你们别再和他过不去了
Don`t you guys mess with him again.
一旦你赢得了她的信任 就要让她感到与众不同
Once you`ve got her trust, it`s time to make her feel special.
选个有她名字的歌♥, 那方法总是很有效
Pick a song with her name in it. That always works.
Janey有把枪
Janey`s got a gun
Janey有把枪
Janey`s got a gun
她有把枪! Janey有把枪!
She`s got a gun! Janey`s got a gun!
整个世界因之毁灭
The whole world`s come undone
Janey Briggs有把枪
Janey Briggs got a gun
那么就跑啊, 跑啊, 远离痛苦
So run away Run away from the pain
放轻松, 小姐
T ake it easy, miss.
- 等等 - 回来!
-Wait. -Get back here!
跑啊, 跑啊, 远离痛苦
Run away, run away from the pain
别动
Hold her down.
手伸过来! 把枪给我们, Janey
Give me your hand! Just give us the gun, Janey.
在你让她感到与众不同以后...
After you`ve made her feel special...
...就该在蛋糕上放糖衣了
...it`s time to put the icing on the cake.
我真的很高兴你能来, Janey
I`m really glad you showed up, Janey.
听着, Jake, 我来的唯一目的 是告诉你离我远点
The only reason I came here was to tell you to Ieave me alone.
我正好在做点心
You know, I was just making a snack.
想来一块吗?
You want one?
不, 听着, Jake--
No. Listen, Jake--
我很快回来
I`II be right back.
但是我....
But I....
饿吗?
Hungry?
我不喜欢圣代
I don`t Iike sundaes.
那不是圣代, 是香蕉片
It`s not a sundae, it`s a banana split.
我也不喜欢那个, 再见, Jake
I don`t Iike those either. Goodbye, Jake.
Jake...
So, Jake...
...和Janey, Janey 我不可能更加平凡（plainy）处得如何?
...how`s it going with Janey, Janey, I couldn`t be any more plainy?
当我邀请她去Preston Wasserstein的大派对 的时候, 你们可以去问她
Well, you can ask her when I take her to Preston Wasserstein`s big party.
真的?
Really?
真的
Really.
多么和谐啊
How fitting.
这里的每个人都在吃牛排...
Everyone here is eating steak...
...但你儿子, 他吃鸡肉
...but your boy, he`s the chickenshit.
Jake也许不能消化牛肉...
Jake may not produce the proper enzymes to digest red meat...
...不过他永远都比Austin更像个四分卫
...but he`II always be more of a quarterback than Austin.
哦, 真的?
Oh, really?
是的
That`s right.
真的
Really.
来啊, 儿子, 让他们看看
Come on, son. Let`s show them.
我感觉有人要打赌了
I smell a bet.
来啊, Austin
Come on, Austin.
好的, Jake, 来吧
AII right, Jake, Iet`s do it.
好的, 来吧