扯淡生命史（2024）

你们可曾环顾四周 欣赏造物的无限宏伟
Have you ever looked around at the limitless majesty of creation
思考...
and wondered...
思考所有这些森林、山谷 山和水坑的存在究竟有什么意？
wondered what all these forests, valleys, mountains, and puddles are actually for?
思考推倒了多少高楼大厦 才给这些腾出空间
Wondered how many buildings were knocked down to make way for them,
是谁批准的规划许？
and who granted the planning permission?
思考各种跟我们共用同一个地球的
Wondered about all the incredible yet musky animals
神奇、有气味的动物
we share our planet with?
是怎么回？
What's up with them?
毫无意义的蚂蚁
From pointless ants
像马一样的长脖子怪物
to long-necked horse monsters,
令人厌恶的袋熊
from repugnant wombats
美丽的大象
to beautiful elephants.
这些生物想要做什？
What do the creatures want?
它们为什么不肯告诉我？
And why do they refuse to tell us?
当然了 还有我们
And then of course, there's us.
人类
Humanic kind.
你可曾想过 我们是怎样来到这里？
Have you ever wondered how we got here?
我们要去哪？
Wondered where we're going?
可曾想过最难解的谜团
Wondered about the biggest mystery of all,
生命的意义是什？
what is the meaning of life?
我没想过
Well, I haven't.
但有人想过
But others have.
几千年来
For thousands of years,
思想家、艺术家、作家 还有我姑姑卡罗尔
thinkers, artists, authors, and my aunt Carol
都难以定义人类的意义
have struggled to define humankind's purpose.
生命的意义是一个有答案的谜语？
Is life's meaning a riddle that even can be answered?
如果有 我们应该聆听
And if so, should we listen,
还是应该捂住耳朵 不听剧？
or cover our ears to avoid spoilers?
在这部 具有里程碑意义的纪录片特辑中
In this landmark documentary special,
我将会环游世界
I'll travel the globe
在各个风景如画的地方慢慢行走
to walk in slow motion through picturesque locations,
近距离观察世间存在的一些重要分子
get up close to some of the most significant molecules in existence,
采访各种各样的学者 专家和专业的哺乳动物
and meet a variety of academics, experts, and professional mammals,
去问人类口中可以说出的
to ask some of the most significant questions
一些最重要的问题
you can say with a mouth.
你好 你是？
Hello, who are you?
我是布莱恩·考克斯
I'm Brian Cox,
曼彻斯特大学的粒子物理学教授
Professor of Particle Physics at the University of Manchester.
可以叫你布莱恩？还是叫你考克？
Can I call you Brian, or do you prefer Cox?
我是菲洛梅娜·康科 随我一起
So join me, Philomena Cunk,
揭开这一切的意义
as I uncover the point of it all.
欢迎收看《扯淡生命史》
This is Cunk on Life.
《扯淡生命史》
欢迎来到我们的宇宙
Welcome to our universe,
无边无际 洒满行星
a limitless expanse peppered
恒星和各种各样的太空泥土
with stars, planets, and assorted space muck.
这就是你们生活的地方
It's where you live.
其实 你们就在 这张照片中的某个地方
In fact, you're somewhere in this photo,
但我们不知道是在哪里
but we don't know where
因为宇宙太大了
because the universe is so vast,
没办法在其中找到你
we simply can't make you out,
就算听声音 也无法辨别
even with your ears.
凝视这幅无限的挂毯 不禁让我们发问
Gazing into this infinite tapestry makes us ask questions.
不只是天花板去了哪里这种问题
Not just about where the ceiling's gone,
而是深刻的问题 深入我们的体内
but deep questions that strike at the very core of our arseholes.
“它是怎么来？”这种问题
Questions like, "How did it get here?"
(第一章 造物)
你是？
Who are you?
我是道格拉斯·赫德利
I'm Douglas Hedley,
我在剑桥大学教宗教哲学
and I teach the Philosophy of Religion at the University of Cambridge.
所以 我们为什么在这？
So, why are we here?
你是说人类为什么存？
You mean, why human beings exist?
不是 我是说我们为什么在这个...
No, I mean why are we here in...
是这里离你家近？
Is this near your house or something?
不近
No.
我坐了90分钟 皮卡迪利线地铁才到这里
It took me 90 minutes to get here on the Piccadilly Line.
关于宇宙是怎么来的 有无数的理论
There are countless theories about how the universe got here,
最早的一些理论 来自非理性的宗教世界
and the earliest one comes from the wacky world of religion.
这是老《旧约》
This is the good Old Testament,
这是基♥督♥教电影世界里的第一个词条
the first entry in the Christian Cinematic Universe.
这本书里没有耶稣
Jesus isn't in this one.
主要讲的是他那个脾气暴躁的父亲
It's mainly about his bad-tempered dad,
一个非常神秘的男人
a man so mysterious,
我们至今都只知道他的艺名:上帝
we still only know him by his stage name, God.
我就直入正题了
Um, I'm gonna go straight in at the deep end.
(科学与灵学作家)
上帝存在？
Is there a God?
存在
Yes.
哦 你都不犹豫
Oh. That was quick. - Mm.
太好了
Great. Um,
有人证明过？
has anyone proved it?
没有 自己认为得到证明就可以了
No, except to their own satisfaction.
上帝有一个叫西蒙的兄弟？
Does God have a brother called Simon?
没有
No.
但这一点也无法证明 所以有可能有
But they can't prove that either, so he might have.
说不定宇宙是西蒙创造的
The universe could have been created by Simon.
《旧约》称上帝或西蒙 或者二人一起 在短短七天之内
The Old Testament claims God and or Simon created our universe
创造了我们的宇宙
in just seven days.
这么短的时间内 要完成好多目标
It sounds like a lot to achieve in such a short space of time,
但上帝不像我们
but unlike us,
上帝不会经常被手♥机♥通知铃♥声♥打断
God wasn't constantly interrupted by iPhone notifications.
上帝最开始说:“要有光”
God started by saying, "Let there be light,"
很合理 因为他需要光 才能看到自己在做什么
which makes sense because he needed to be able to see what he was doing.
然后他就把光明和黑暗区分开了
Then he divided light from dark,
就像我洗衣服区分浅色和深色一样
like I do when I'm doing a clothes wash.
接下来 他创造了苍穹
Next, he created the firmament,
这是个什么鬼词？
whatever that is,
以及海洋和星辰
and the oceans and the stars.
下一个魔术是
For his next trick,
上帝把海洋填满了水生动物 这些动物有时被称为“鱼”
God filled the oceans with water animals, or "fish" as they're sometimes known,
把天堂填满了天空猛兽 也称“鸟”
and the heavens with sky-beasts, or "birds."
然后他用昆虫、爬行动物、哺乳动物 以及这只鼻涕虫所属的类别
Then he infested the Earth with insects, reptiles, mammals,
填满了地球
and whatever category of thing slugs are.
最后 他的最高成就是
And finally, for his crowning achievement,
创造了也许唯一值得庆祝的东西
he created perhaps the only thing worth celebrating,
我们
us.
在这个意大利星球 这里是西斯廷教堂
Here on the planet of Italy is the Sistine Chapel.
里面是优秀的油漆工米开朗基罗
Inside it is an astonishing collection of images
创作的一系列惊人画作
created by overachieving painter decorator Michael A.N. Jello.
这件作品花了他四年时间完成
This artwork took him four years to complete,
在这个过程中 毁掉了原本十分完美的天花板
ruining a perfectly good ceiling in the process.
但不管你怎么想 这件作品描绘的东西具有重要意义
But whatever you think of it, what it depicts is momentous.
上帝创造了生命 把我们从他手中射出来
The moment God created life by jizzing us out of his hands.
这幅图展示了 历史上最重要的一次指交
This image of the most significant fingerbang in history
几个世纪以来 一直激励着游客来参观西斯廷教堂
has inspired visitors to the Sistine Chapel for many centuries
激励人们来参观这幅赝品的时间 就没有那么久远了
and visitors to this replica for less time than that.
这也许是所有艺术中最伟大的杰作
It's perhaps the greatest masterpiece in all of art,
但也是最让人不愿意看的
but also the most annoying to look at.
当我仰望它 会被一种惊奇感震撼
When I gaze up at it, I'm struck by a sense of wonder
但主要是因为我脖子都扭伤了
but mainly by a crick in my neck.
米开朗基罗为西斯廷教堂作画时
When Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel,
他是先在地板上画 完成后把房♥子倒过来
did he start on the floor and then they flip the building over,
还是最开始就画在了天花板？
or was it always on the ceiling?
最开始就画在了天花板上
The painting was always on the ceiling.
那很高啊 是？
It's quite high up, isn't it?
米开朗基罗是用了很长的画笔？
Did Michelangelo use a really long brush,
还是他的手臂很？
or did he have really long arms?
他站在了脚手架上
Um, well, he had to stand up on top of some scaffolding
把头向后仰着画的
and bend his head backwards.
他画的时候 颜料不会滴进他的眼睛里？
Wouldn't paint drip down into his eyes when he was doing it?
他肯定会一直眨眼 就像这样...
I bet he was blinking the whole time, sort of like... like that.
他没有抱怨过这件事 但肯定发生过