克里斯·洛克：杀死信使（2008）

当然了，不是指所有黑人女性啦，不过也是大部分
it ain't all black women, but it's most black women
黑人女士们反感不同人种之间恋爱
the real reason black women get so angry
的真正原因，就是黑人女性……
at interracial dating is cos black women
一般不容易吸引到白人男性
are not attracted to white men.
别理解错了，她们完全可以搞上白人小帅哥
Don't get me wrong. They'll fuck a pretty white boy.
比如乔治克鲁尼，布拉德皮特等等
They'll fuck Matthew McConaughey or George Clooney, Brad Pitt,
而且也能搞定贝克汉姆，没错
they'll give Beckham some pussy, yes.
但是黑人爷们，我们的标准没那么高
But black men, our standards ain't that high.
给我们哪个白女孩，我们都愿意搞
We'll fuck any white girl.
实际上，身材不要骨感，胖胖的反而更好
A matter of fact, the bigger, the better.
更多纯洁的“白”哦
It's just more white to love.
现在现场就有很多白人姑娘，家里从来没有体重秤
There's white women in this room right now, don't even have scales in their house.
她们不需要称，当有很多黑人泡她时，就知道自己太胖了
They know they gaining weight when too many black guys start hitting on 'em.
“噢，怎么我这么吸引黑人啊”
"It's like these black guys are all over me.
“不行了，我得减肥”
"I gotta work out."
没错哈，黑人还真是喜欢胖胖的白人姑娘
That's right. Black men love a big white woman.
绝对的，黑人肯定会甩掉那些骨感的高挑大模特
Shit, a black man will drop-kick Keira Knightley（著名演员）
去追那些胖胖的姑娘
to get to Rosie O'Donnell.（访谈节目主持人）
哈，我们能让那些姑娘感动的哭
Boy, we will tear that Rosie pussy up, boy.
先不说那些肥肉，别的部位肯定还是很不错的嘛
Shit, move that gut to the side, there's some good pussy under there.
我们才不鸟呢
We don't give a fuck!
整个《视角》访谈节目的女主持我们都愿意上
We'll fuck the whole View
Rosie, Barbara Walters
（这几位都是访谈节目 视角The View 的主持人）
这节目应该改名叫“后入式的视角”
Joy Behar, it'd be "the view from the back of that ass."
完事儿后，我们可以再搞那个烹饪栏目的瑞秋
Shit, we'll fuck Rachael Ray, right after that shit.
就冲那丰满的身材，得搞定她
Fucking Rachael Ray with her plump ass and shit.
我们甚至可以就搞她的肥肉就行
I'll fuck her right in the arm fat, right here.
就这样，我擦嘞
Right in this motherfucker.
就这么搞，“这是谁的胳膊噢？”
Right in this motherfucker. "Whose arm is this?"
只要是个缝就行，这就是我们黑人
Just need a crease. That's all a nigger needs is a crease.
只要是个缝，见缝咱就能插针
Just a crease, nigger. That's a crease.
搞完了她，得叫她帮我做点饼干吃吃
I'll fuck her in the arm fat and have her make me some biscuits when that shit's all over.
唉真的，真没错，这就是为什么黑人女士们那么不爽
That's right, man. That's right. And that's what makes black women so mad.
因为她们知道那些胖胖的白女人
Cos they know Rosie O'Donnell
可以随便走进一家黑人夜店
could walk into any black club in Harlem tonight
然后轻松钓到一个黑人
and get her a black man.
她其实都不喜欢男人
She don't even like men...
但是她还是搞定了哦
but she can get her a black man.
但这个问题反过来说就不成立了
And it don't work the other way around.
咱们的黑妞可没几个想上《宋飞传》里面的那个胖乔治
There ain't a bunch of black women out there trying to fuck George from Seinfeld.
没错的，当你看见黑人妞儿跟白人胖子在一块
That's right. You see a black woman with an overweight white man,
这意味着这个姑娘快穷光了
that means her credit is fucked up.
这是她的“财政困境”
Like, she's in financial straits.
“美女，你怎么跟他在一块了？”
"Girl, what you doing with him?"
“不这样的话，我的车就要卖♥♥掉还款了”
"They was gonna take my car."
没错，没错，没错
Yes, yes, yes, man.
没错，没错，没错
Yes, yes, yes, man.
我也说不清楚
I don't know, man.
咱们还是回到刚刚继续讨论选举的事儿
Let's go back to the election for a second, man.
不管谁赢得这次选举
It don't matter who wins this election right now.
是麦凯恩还是奥巴马？都不重要，因为现在布♥什♥还在掌权
It don't matter Barack or McCain, it don't matter right now cos Bush is still in charge.
布♥什♥还他妈的在掌权
George Bush is still in charge.
没人能比布♥什♥更加不“屌♥”
And nobody gives less of a fuck than George Bush.
你以为你不屌♥这一切？
You think you don't give a fuck?
布♥什♥更加不屌♥，没人比他更不屌♥了
Bush don't give a fuck. Nobody gives less of a fuck than George Bush.
假如说你被吊在悬崖侧面
If you was hanging from a cliff,
掉下去就是个死
getting ready to fall to your death,
而布♥什♥就在悬崖上站着
that's right, and Bush was at the top of the cliff,
而你，只需要一个“屌♥”来救命
and all you needed was a fuck to save your life,
布♥什♥的口袋里有很多“屌♥”
and Bush had a pocket full of fucks,
但是他就是不屌♥你
he wouldn't give you one.
“布♥什♥啊，屌♥我一下吧！”
"Bush, I need a fuck!"
“哦，你知道我根本不屌♥”
"Oh, you know I don't give a fuck.
“来，给你！逗你玩！”
"Here's a fuck. Psych!"
布♥什♥太诡异了，伙计们，他太尼玛诡异了
Bush is unbelievable, man. This guy's unbe-fucking-lievable.
自从他当上总统，国家每况愈下啊
Just the things that have gone down since he's been the president...
这家伙已经坏到了史无前例的地步
It's unprecedented how bad this guy is, OK?
他不是最烂的美国领导，他是所有“领导”里最烂的
He ain't the worst president of the US, he's the worst president of presidents.
不管什么领域的领导，他一定是最烂的
He's the worst PTA president, president of the block association,
最烂砌砖协会领导，最烂职业棒球联盟领导
president of major league baseball,
最烂摔跤联盟领导，反正他永远是最烂的
World Wide Wrestling Federation... The worst president ever!
这二货
This motherfucker.
自从他当上总统，国家每况愈下啊，真不容易
Just the shit that has gone down since he's been president is unbelievable, man.
真尼玛，不容易，抵押贷款危机已经来了
Unbe-fucking-lievable. The mortgage crisis going on right now,
人们还不上房♥贷，房♥子就要被银行收走了
people losing their houses.
第一个月你负债九百块
One month your mortgage is 900,
下个月一看，变九千了
the next month it's 9,000.
你得出去看看，看是不是搬走了
You got to look outside to see if you moved.
“擦，我还是住在我那小区里吗？”
"Shit, this can't be the same neighbourhood."
去他妈的，汽油也这么贵
Fucking gas is through the roof.
汽油太贵了现在
Gas is so expensive right now,
我觉得没多久，酒吧就可以卖♥♥汽油了
soon they're going to start selling gas in bars.
“呃 酒保 代我给那位红衣美女送半箱汽油”
It's gonna be like, "I want to send half a tank to the little lady over there in the red."
我觉得没多久，人们就会为了汽油而约炮了
I think pretty soon people are gonna be fucking for gas.
我觉得现在大家已经开始为了汽油而约炮了，有木有
I think people are already fucking for gas.
现场中有的人今晚就是为了汽油约炮的
Some of y'all in here tonight are fucking for gas.
妹子 你怎么跟这个男人一块？哦 他帮我加了个油
Like, "Girl, why you with him?" "He filled up my tank."
女士们 如果有男士帮你加了油 你要上他啊
Ladies, if a man fills up your tank, you gotta fuck him.
不够一箱？手活也行
A quarter of a tank? Handjob.
总得来一发嘛，总得来一发
You gotta get to work, right? You gotta get to work.
汽油太尼玛贵了 我真是难以理解
Gas is so fucking expensive. I don't even get it.
让我说的再直白点
So let me get this straight.
我们入侵了一个产石油的国家
We invade a country with oil...
但是我们国家的汽油反而涨价了？！
With oil, but gas costs more?
这根本没有半毛钱的道理嘛！
That don't make no fucking sense.
我虽然不是高材生啊，砖家啊什么的
Now I didn't go to no fancy school or nothing,
但我可以明明白白告诉你们
but I tell you this right now,
如果我入侵了肯德基
if I invade Kentucky Fried Chicken,
那我们家里吃鸡翅应该不难了
wings will be cheap at my house.
啊，汽油实在太贵了
Like, gas is so expensive now,
每次我加满油
whenever I fill up my tank,
我就在加油站打一次飞机
I just whip out my dick and jerk off right at the gas station.
我就是这么干的，如果我加油了
That's what I do, if I fill it up,
我就打一次飞机
I jerk it off.
你知道为什么嘛？因为一般我花那么多钱的时候
You know why? Cos when I spend that type of money,
都是为了爽的
I'm used to coming.
推荐你们都应该试试
You ought to try it.
什么时候你的车快没油了，你应该高兴
Next time you're running low, you'll get happy.
我擦，快没油了哦？好耶！
"Holy shit, I'm almost out of gas. Good!"
就这样，伙计们
That's right, man.
去他妈的，汽油太尼玛贵了
Shit, fucking gas is through the roof.
真不是开玩笑的
This shit is no joke, man.
你知道的，某些阶级总想忽悠我们
And you know, they're just trying to get you, man.
总说“我们美国准备好迎接一位黑人总统了吗？”
And they keep saying, "Is America ready for a black president?
“美国准备好…”我真希望奥巴马能赢啊
"Is America ready for a black..." I hope Barack wins, man. I hope he wins.
真的
I really do.
希望他赢
I hope he wins.
希望他胜出，那么我作为黑人家长
I hope he wins, just so as a black parent,
我就不会叨叨“你通过努力就能实现你的梦想”
I could stop giving that "You could do whatever you want to, baby" speech.
说了这么多次，我的孩子们也不太信
That my kids could just go out and shit.
我不需要总跟孩子们叨叨这些大道理了
I don't have to say it every time they walk out the house,
“不管别人怎么说，你通过努力就能实现你的梦想”
"No matter what they say, you could be whatever you want to be."
因为白人家长，根本不用跟孩子们说这些
Cos white parents don't have to say that shit.
为什么？很明显啊
Cos it's obvious, that's why.
你试着这样叨叨白人孩子 人家会说“我知道 我知道”
You try to say that shit to a white kid, they go, "Yeah, I know. I know.
“我知道我能实现我的梦想，当然当然”
"I know, I can be anything. I know, I know.
“我知道通过努力就能实现我的梦想，我知道”
"I know, if I work hard, I can be anything. Yeah, I know.
“哎你知道么？即使我不努力，我也能实现梦想”
"You know what? Even if I don't work hard, I can be anything."
我早就受够了这一套了
Tired of that shit, man.
媒体也总说“美国准备好迎接一位黑人总统了吗？”
But they keep saying the same thing, "Is America ready for a black president?