克里斯·洛克：杀死信使（2008）

他们查定你了
They are in your ass.
然而这一点正是麦凯恩的优势，因为他的朋友们都过世了
And that's where McCain has the advantage cos all his friends are dead.
没错啊哥们，这场选举太不寻常了
Yeah, man, but this whole election is so... is so weird.
包括他们报道和宣传的方式
Just the way they report on it, the way they cover it.
所有的一切都披上了种族的话题
Everything's so racial, racial, racial.
多少白人会投票？多少工薪阶层白人？
"How many white people are voting? How many working-class white people?
多少身高一米五以上的白人给奥巴马投票？
"How many white people over 4'8" are voting for Obama?"
知道不？最离谱的是啥
You know? And the crazy thing is,
当白人考虑给奥巴马投票的时候，当然这种时候很多啦
whenever white people vote for Barack Obama, which is a lot of the time, they go,
他们都是先听一些辩论和演讲什么的
"Well, you know, they listened to the issues
如果他们觉得奥巴马谈到了关乎自身利益的问题
"and they felt Obama spoke to their issues.
他们就开始琢磨，反复考虑权衡其中利弊
"They went over the issues, they weighed the pros and cons,
然后再考虑是否认同奥巴马
"and they felt that Obama spoke to their issues."
而当黑人考虑给奥巴马投票的时候，他们表现的是：
And whenever black people vote for Barack, they go,
呃，我们都是黑人，我觉得这就是选他的原因
"Well, they black, he black, I guess that's why."
这就好像我们这投票根本不记名，也无所谓了
Like we don't even have names on our ballots and shit.
就好像我们在选票上乱划一气就成了
Like it's just scratch 'n' sniff on our ballots.
就好像选举这只是选个奶昔口味这么简单
Like it's just pictures of milkshakes.
啥？草莓味？不行不行，要巧克力的！
"No. Strawberry? No, chocolate! Chocolate.
我选巧克力的，因为我就喜欢
"I vote chocolate. That's what I want."
大家别误会我的意思
Don't get me wrong. Don't get me wrong.
奥巴马参选，我们很激动
We are very excited about Barack Obama.
黑人同胞们都很激动
Black people are very excited about Barack Obama.
但我们不能只因为他是黑人，就给他投票
But we're not just voting for him cos he's black.
我们给他投票，是因为他是黑人，而且能胜任这个职位
We're voting for him because he's black and qualified.
这才应该是我们给他投票的原因，没错，耶！
That's why we're voting for the motherfucker, yeah!
这就是我们站在他身后支持他的原因
That's... That's why we behind him.
而不是像给Flavor Flav竞选投票那样无厘头
You know, it's not like we're voting for Flavor Flav.
（08年Flavor Flav搞了一出说自己要竞选总统的闹剧）
耶，哥们儿~~（模仿Flavor Flav语气）
Yeah, boy! Flavor Flav!
（他是位搞怪说唱歌♥手，胸前爱挂一块大钟表）
我很喜欢他的，喜欢了20多年了
I love Flavor. Loved him for 20 years.
我喜欢他演的那部搞笑剧
I love the Flavor Of Love show.
我觉得挺搞笑的
I think it's quite entertaining.
不过他必须死
But Flavor Flav must be killed.
为了我们黑人同胞们真正到达传说中的乐土
In order for black people to truly reach the promised land,
他必须死
Flavor Flav has to be shot.
现在是重要时刻，有位黑人兄弟在竞选总统了
These are important times. We got a black man running for president.
我们不需要那个带着大钟表当项链
We don't need a nigger with a fucking clock
戴个海盗大高帽的家伙了
around his neck and a Viking hat on his head.
今年没你的事儿了，换一件正经衣服吧 Flavor
Not this year, Flavor. Put a suit on, nigger.
穿件西装！
Put a suit on!
别闹了，今年别闹了
Not this year, Flav. Not this year.
我们是真的真的真的都很激动
No, no, no. But we're very... We're very, very, very excited, man.
在场的白人朋友们，我跟你们说啊
I'll tell you this right now, white people that are here.
如果奥巴马当选了
If Barack Obama wins,
如果你们策划有什么活动
if you have any activity in your life
是必须有黑人参与的
that involves black people
而且时间定在了选举结束后的第二天
that is supposed to happen the day after election day,
告诉你，这事儿没戏了
it will not get done.
选举日是周二
Election day's a Tuesday.
那么那个周三，别约黑人谈事儿
That Wednesday, don't schedule no black shit.
到时候你去坐飞机，可没人帮你扛着行李
Like, if you gotta fly, ain't nobody carrying your bags.
你必须自己拿着
You got to get your own motherfuckin' bag.
到那时候，我们有了黑人总统
We got a black president, motherfucker.
擦
Shit.
当黑人总统，对奥巴马来说应该是很不容易的
It's going to be hard for Barack Obama to be president, man.
因为他必须克服一个大障碍
Cos Barack Obama has to overcome a handicap
这个障碍是其他候选人从未遇到的
that the other candidate does not have to overcome.
没错，当黑人总统，对奥巴马来说是不容易的
That's right. It's gonna be hard for Barack Obama to be president
因为，奥巴马的媳妇也是黑人
because Barack Obama has a black wife.
而我觉得美国的第♥一♥夫♥人♥不应该是个黑人
And I don't think a black woman can be first lady of the United States.
没错，我就这么说了
Yeah, I said it.
我在约翰内斯堡说了
I said it in Johannesburg, I said it.
我在英国伦敦说了
I said it in London, England, I said that shit.
我在这个阿波罗剧场说了
I said it at the Apollo Theater, I said that shit.
我认为一位黑人女性不能当第♥一♥夫♥人♥
I don't believe a black woman can be first lady.
你说为啥？因为黑人女性，在爱情关系中从不愿屈居人下
You know why? Cos a black woman cannot play the background of a relationship.
别误会我，黑人女性其实当总统都可以的
Don't get me wrong - a black woman could be president with no problem.
但是第♥一♥夫♥人♥？这位置总要闭嘴听话
First lady? Too much shutting up in that job.
你能想像么？你告诉你的黑人♥妻♥子，你是总统
Can you imagine telling your black wife that you president?
噢，宝贝，我获胜了，我是总统了
"Honey, I won. I'm president."
说什么呢！我们，是总统！
"No! We president.
我想让我的闺蜜都进内阁
"And I want my girlfriends in the cabinet.
我想让KiKi当国防部长
"I want Kiki to be Secretary of Defense.
她倒是挺能打的，嗯
"She can fight. She can fight."
啊，哈，你可不能有个“黑”第♥一♥夫♥人♥
No, no, you can't have no black first lady.
那保密工作可要费大劲儿啦
That's too much work for the secret service.
先生，我们可以禁止她进入的
"We can't let her through, sir. We can't let her through."
她是我媳妇，她可真能杀了你，小心点
"It's my fucking wife, man. She's gonna kill you!"
没错，奥巴马是真想当总统
That's right. Barack Obama really want to be the president,
他可得准备个白人妹纸啦
he got to get him a white girl.
没错，我又说了
Yeah, I said it.
为啥？因为白人女孩会乖乖站好自己的位置
Why? Cos a white girl will play her position.
而黑人女孩会占领你的位置
The black girl wanna play your position.
你在橄榄球场四分卫位置准备开球
You under the quarterback going, "Hike, hike!"
她凑过来说，开球啊，开球
She right next to you, "Hike, hike!"
我们俩不能一起开啊
"We can't both hike."
我不管
"I don't give a fuck."
没错，如果你有个白人女孩
That's right. You get you a white girl
她一定会对你言听计从，不捣乱
she do exactly what you need her to do.
一会儿你向左跑，突破右路
"I need you to run left, slant right."
好的哟，听你的哟
"OK, Daddy, I got ya."
然后你就赢了
And you win.
喔哦，我说了这些，黑人女士们都生气啦
Whoo, black women get mad when I say that shit, boy.
哦，你要个白人姑娘？你以为你需要一个白人女孩？
"Oh, you need a white girl? You think you need a white girl?
去你的妈吧！
"Fuck you, motherfucker.
你以为你真的需要一个白人姑娘？
"You think you need a white girl?
你有了点臭钱，就开始想要白女人了
"As soon as you all get a little money, you want a white girl.
你有了一点臭钱，就开始想要白女人了
"Soon as you get a little money, you want a white girl."
呃，实际上，没钱的时候就开始想了
"Actually, before we get money."
噢，别急，再来一次
Oh, don't worry. I'm a bring it back.
这种跨种族的关系，惹怒了我们的黑人女性
Black women get pissed off at some interracial dating, boy.
黑人女士们气得不行了
Black women get mad as a motherfucker.
她们这时候脾气比当年南方的那些白人奴隶主还大
Black women get angrier than southern white men.
快要气炸了
They get pissed the fuck off.
尤其是他们发现，白种女人和一个出名的黑人在一块
Especially if they see, like, a white girl with a famous black man.
噢，她们都气糊涂了
Ooh! They get fuckin' mad.
如果丹泽尔华盛顿和白人女性一起，她们会气得发抖
They see, like, a white girl with Denzel Washington, they fucking start shaking.
她们甚至都准备好动手打那些白女人了
They ready to punch that white girl in the face.
你♥他♥妈♥的跟丹泽尔在一块干嘛！？
"What the fuck you doing with Denzel?
想夺走我们优秀的黑人爷们？
"Trying to take our good black men.
总共才只有八个呢（此处讽刺奥斯卡奖种族歧视）
"We only got eight."
没错，黑人女士们都疯了
That's right. Black women get mad.
她们埋怨我们，黑兄弟们，她们生气啦
They get mad at us, the black man. They get mad!
她们埋怨我们，因为我们总想换些花样
They get mad at us cos we like to exercise our variety.
真的，没错，黑哥们都总想换些花样
That's right, that's right. Black men like to exercise their variety.
当一个黑人要找个伴
When the black man is looking for a mate,
他会查遍所列出了所有女人的“菜单”
we check out the whole menu of women.
然后问“呃，还有木有什么特别的？”
We're like, "Uh, you got any specials?"
女同胞们气炸了，说你忘了本，连你妈都不喜欢了？
Sisters get mad. Sisters will get in your face, like, "You don't like your mother."
她们会管你所有的事儿
They get all up in your grill.
没错，女人表现的好像是在生男人的气
That's right. But they act like they mad at the black man.
错啦！女人不是生我们男人的气
But no! They're not mad at us.
她们是生自己的气
They're mad at themselves.
真事儿，没错，我说了，我说了
That's right, yeah. I said it, I said it.
没错，我看得就是你
Yeah, I'm looking right at ya!
我说了，女士们，你们生自己的气
I said it. You are mad at yourself.
我现在来说你们为什么反感不同颜色人种之间的恋爱
Cos I'm a tell you the real reason black women get so mad at interracial dating.
噢，我这真是把话题扯大啦
Oh, I'm a break it the fuck down tonight.
黑人女士们反感不同人种之间恋爱的真正原因
The real reason black women get so mad at interracial dating