僵尸逃生船

乘客通知
Passenger information.
如果你看到任何可疑的事
If you see anything suspicious,
或看上去不对劲的事
or something that doesn't look right,
请立即通知车站工作人员
please report it to a member of staff
或是警♥察♥
or a police officer immediately.
兄弟 发生什么事了
Mate, what happened?
加文说在车站见到你了 但你不在列车上啊
Gav says he saw you at the station, but you weren't on the train.
不 他看到的肯定不是我
No, that definitely wasn't me.
我工作上有点事耽搁了
I got caught up at work,
但我肯定会坐下一趟车过来
but I'm on the next one out.
各位乘客
Passenger announcement.
由伦敦尤斯顿车站开来的
16-17 from London Euston
16-17趟班车 将晚点大约15分钟
has been delayed by approximately 15 minutes.
那是什么声音
What was that?
我听到你那边和我这边同时传来这声音
I heard that on your phone and here.
没错 现在车站的通知都是同步的
Yeah, train announcements sync now.
全世界各地方都同时通知 简直...
Simultaneous, everywhere in the world. It's...
令人难以置信
unbelievable.
真的吗
Seriously?
我跟你说 我们简直是生活在未来了
We are living in the future, man, I'm telling you.
充满奇迹的世界
'World of miracles.'
但听上去我坐的车会晚点半小时
But it sounds like I'm delayed half an hour.
-太不爽了 -兄弟 你错过了一趟经典的旅程
- Gutted. - Fam, you missed a classic journey.
科伦喝了一大杯珊布卡酒
Ciaran downed a wine glass of Sambuca,
吐在了一个乘警身上 都沾到他的胡子上了
threw up on a train guard, it went in his beard.
-那家伙气疯了 -听上去好精彩
- 'The guy was fuming.' - Sounds amazing.
我待会儿去酒店跟你们会合
'I'll catch you guys up at the hotel.'
至少也会在餐厅
Or the restaurant, at the latest.
或是在夜店
Or the club.
好吧 但你最好戴着鹿角
Fine. But you better be wearing antlers
现在就开始喝酒
and drinking right about now.
我一定会的
I definitely am.
得先挂了
Gotta go.
科伦在"摩擦"行李车
Ciaran's humping a baggage trolley.
好了 待会儿见 科伦 别又这样啊...
'Oi, see you in a sec. Ciaran, not again...'
说真的 算了吧
Seriously, just let it go.
热水器坏了
Shower's not working.
-竟然还有热水器 -但现在坏了
- We have a shower? - That's not working.
不能开热水 那会耗掉足以行驶三天的油
We can't turn the hot water on, it'll eat three days off.
我头上沾满了别人的血
I have blood in my hair that isn't mine.
还有一点点耳朵
And a bit of ear!
没错 你太恶心了
It's true, you're disgusting.
比起你的美丽 我们更需要燃料
And we need fuel more than you need your bounce and shine.
我只是需要洗个澡而已
What I need is a bath.
那不是...那不是我们昨晚住的酒店吗
Isn't that... Isn't that our hotel from last night?
-回到了起点 -我们得去看看兄弟们怎么样
- Back where we started. - We've gotta check on the guys.
不 不行 我们现在不能停下
No, no, come on, we can't stop now,
我们在前进了
we're making progress.
我们就是在这里上船的
That's where we got on this boat,
我们完全没有前进半分
we've made literally no progress.
拜托 凯特 求你了
Come on, Kat, please?
我们的朋友可能还在里面
Our friends might be in there.
这是世界上最糟心的土拨鼠日了
This is the world's shittest Groundhog Day.
希望加文没事 下周就是婚礼了
Hope Gav's OK, wedding's next weekend.
加文现在可能已经被吃了
Gav's probably been eaten by now.
我的意思是他肯定没事
By which I mean I'm sure he is fine.
不过我觉得你至少应该接受婚礼得取消了
Although I think you should at least accept the wedding's off.
我们都逃出来了 他们肯定也没事
We got out. I'm sure they're fine.
不确定一下我是不会走的
I'm not leaving without making sure.
我们不知道里面会有什么
We don't know what's in there,
可能是五个单身汉 也可能是五百个僵尸
could be five stags, could be 500 zombies.
我们可能会死在里面
We could die in there.
所以我们得精准出击
Which is why this has to be a precision strike.
快进 快出 明确任务
We are straight in, straight out, mission focused.
-你也去吗 -是的 我也去
- You're coming? - Yes, I'm coming.
就凭你们两个笨手笨脚的 我们就走不成了
With you two blundering on your own, we'll never leave.
再说了 要搜寻点可用物资
Plus, bit of scavenging.
你觉得他们会有洗发水吗
Think they'll have shampoo?
没时间洗澡 你留下守着船
No time for showers, you stay and guard the boat.
谁决定你是发号♥施令的女王了
Who made you Queen?
你想去找他们的醉酒兄弟们吗
Well, do you want to go look for their drunk mates?
才不要呢
God, no.
你上吧
You crack on.
-希望你时刻保持警惕 -我警惕性高着呢
- I want constant vigilance. - I've got tons of vigilance.
拜托你不要去洗澡
Please don't have a shower.
我一点也没有想洗澡
I was absolutely not thinking that.
去吧 我照顾一艘船绰绰有余
Well, go on, then, I'm perfectly capable of looking after a boat.
好吧 谢谢你
OK, thank you.
我不确定这样做好不好
I'm not sure this is a great idea.
加文可能在里面
Gav might be in there.
还有其他人怎么办 克里斯 科伦 性感莫
And what about the others? Chris? Ciaran? Sexy Mo?
不是吧你 如果是我在里面 你会怎么做
Oh, come on, man, if it was me in there, what would you do?
我不知道 等我回伦敦时给你发条短♥信♥
I don't know. Drop you a text when I got back to London.
兄弟 他们就在眼前啊
Mate, they're just there!
-好吧 -没事的 有我罩着你
- Fine! - It's OK. I got you.
要是我们两小时后还没回来
If we're not back in two hours...
就再多等一会儿
just wait longer.
-为什么不开门 -因为这很典型
- Why not? - Because it's a classic,
门会砰的一声打开 里面有一个僵尸
the doors'll ping open and a zombie'll be inside.
-我们不该来的 -放松 这里没人了
- We shouldn't be here. - Relax. It's deserted.
是啊 一座没人的酒店从没有发生过不好的事呢
Yeah, nothing bad ever happens in a deserted hotel
我们走楼梯吧
Let's try the stairs.
楼梯适合拍追逐场面 一般不会死人
Stairs are for chase sequences, not deaths.
你过分投入了
You're way too into this.
不 我没有 这只是个支线任务
No, I'm not, it's just a side quest,
解救象牙塔里的公主
rescuing a princess in a tower.
很明显你没见过科伦
Well, you've clearly not met Ciaran.
得了吧 他也会为我们这么做的
Oh, come on, man, he'd do it for us.
不 他绝对不会
No, he absolutely wouldn't.
他会雇个人来
He'd pay someone else to do it,
然后喝下六盒果汁 因为这是他应得的
then drink a six pack of fruit cider because he'd earned it.
你能不能在说你朋友坏话时再小声一点
Can you please slag off your friends more quietly?
快跟上
Come on!
抱歉了 凯特
Sorry, Kat.
管它的
Fuck it.
加文的房♥间在一楼
Gav's room's on the first floor.
克里斯
Chris!
-不是克里斯 -快跑
- Not Chris! - Come on!
-他怎么还会走楼梯 -那个可怜的家伙
- How is he using stairs? - Poor man. Poor guy.
-是你朋友吗 -加夫的表哥
- Friend of yours? - Gav's cousin.
-他为什么穿得像埃尔顿·约翰 -是装扮服
- Why is he dressed like Elton John? - It was fancy dress.
-那你们装扮成了什么 -死侍和海王
- Who were you? - Deadpool and Aquaman.
-猜猜谁脱掉了衣服 -还有三叉戟
- Guess who had his shirt off. - And a Trident.
充气三叉戟
Inflatable Trident.
你知道你们把漫威和DC宇宙搞混了吧
You realise your stag do confused Marvel and DC Universe?
真是一直以来的担忧呢
It was a constant worry.
就是这里 加夫 开门
This is it! Gav, open up!
他们不在这里 他们在安全的地方 不像我们
They're not here. They're somewhere safe. Unlike us.
开门
Open up!
这周末过来真是我这辈子做出的最烂的决定
Coming on this weekend was the worst decision of my life.
-明明很有趣 -很烂
- It was a laugh. - It was shit.
-你简直是噩梦 -我把派对变得很好玩
- And you were a nightmare. - I made it fun.
你肯定什么都不记得了
Not that you'd remember any of it!
我在为你们创造新体验
I was making experiences!
遭遇僵尸绝对是终身难忘的体验了
Mission accomplished on that front.
-唐纳德·特朗普 -是僵尸吗
- Donald Trump. - Zombie?
不是僵尸
Not zombie!
关门 关门 关门
Close it, close it, close it!
-科伦 -可可
- Ciaran. - Cocoa!
可可
Cocoa?