僵尸逃生船

是哦
Oh, yeah.
-那个易怒的红毛像谁 -珊莎·史塔克
- Ginger moody one, though. - Sansa Stark.
对极了
And there it is.
好戏来了
Oh, here we go.
来练习一下准头
A bit of target practice.
他们是人啊 你不能就这么射击他们
They're human, you can't just shoot them.
真是意外 你就是射不中
What do you know! You can't just shoot them.
-是瞄准器有问题 -你不说你是郡冠军吗
- Sights are off. - County champion, was it?
我们当中某些人会在这末日灾难中活下来
Some of us are gonna survive this apocalypse.
到时候我们会需要弹♥药♥
And we will need the ammo.
我猜他们一定觉得松了口气
I'm sure they're breathing a huge sigh of relief
你没事吧
Are you OK?
我没事
I'm fine.
好了 不会有事的
There, there. It'll be OK, yeah.
我们会离开这里 找到他
We'll get out of here, find him,
他绝对会想跟你复合的
and he'll definitely want you back.
绝对的
Definitely.
你完全没有认真听 是吧
You've not been listening at all, have you?
我觉得我听你叨逼半天了
I feel I've been listening to you quite a lot.
不过你还是解释下吧
But please, do explain.
我只是需要告诉他
I just need to tell him
朱莉·约翰逊是个多恶心的贱逼
what a nasty cow Julie Johnson was.
你用刀捅了她 还把她丢进了河里
You stabbed her and threw her in a river,
现在你还说她的坏话
now you wanna bitch about her?
没错 否则他永远也不会觉得她不适合他
Yes! Cos otherwise he'll never find out she was wrong for him.
她是个邪恶的 两面三刀 背后捅刀的贱♥人♥
That she's an evil, two-faced backstabber.
他只会记住他们恋情初期的美好
He's just gonna remember the early relationship swirl
满是温馨和高♥潮♥
of fluffiness and orgasms!
而我永远会是那个杀了温馨高♥潮♥女的邪恶贱♥人♥
And I'll always be the evil bitch that killed fluffy orgasm girl!
所以你并不是真的想追回他
So you don't actually want him back, then?
我不知道
I don't know.
不想 我觉得不想
No. I don't think so.
事实是 他女朋友是个僵尸
Well, you know what, his girlfriend was a zombie.
你杀了她 这样他就不用动手了
You killed her so that he doesn't have to.
你偷了他的船 是因为你需要这船才能活下来
You nicked his boat because you needed it to survive.
我觉得任何前女友做了这事 我都会原谅的
I can't think of a single ex-girlfriend I wouldn't forgive for that.
除了贝丝
Except maybe Beth.
但他近在咫尺啊
But he's so close.
你四下里瞧瞧 乔 眼下有更紧急的问题
Look around you, Jo. There's more pressing issues.
明白吗 忘掉他吧
OK? Let him go.
对一个健身兔来说 你说得挺有道理的
For a gym bunny, you make some sense.
好了 开始吧
OK, let's do this.
什么
What?
这个按钮 可以把后备箱打开
That button there, that pops the boot.
我们按这个按钮 他们爬进来
We hit that, they climb in.
在他们爬进来的过程中 我们赶快爬出去
While they're climbing in, we're climbing out.
那听上去像是要把僵尸放进车里来啊
That sounds a lot like letting the zombies in the car!
要么那样 要么我们错过船
It's either that or we miss the boat.
好吧 好吧 我们能做到的
OK. OK, we can do this.
倒数 5 4...
We go in five, four...
我才数到4呢 乔
I'm on four, Jo!
快走 快走
Go, go, go!
我的包
My bag!
不要
No!
我的天呐
Oh, my God!
-40分钟到了 该走了 -遥遥向前吧
- 40 minutes, time to go. - Let's roll.
这次别说"摇"晃 并且要开慢点
Let's not say let's roll. And slower this time.
-你这是被咬伤了吗 -是啊
- Is that a bite? - Yeah.
在前线战斗 总会挂彩的
That's what you get on the front line.
如果你被咬了 那岂不是意味着...
If you've been bitten, doesn't that mean...
-不意味着有任何后果 -但凯特说...
- It doesn't mean anything. - But Kat said that...
凯特以一切僵尸题材的作品为准则 那太天真了
Kat thinks the whole genre's canon, but that's just naive.
但如果你看看那些经典作品 从《活死人之夜》
If you look at all the classics, from Night Of The Living Dead,
到《活死人黎明》 到《活死人之日》
to Dawn Of The Dead, to Day Of The Dead,
再到《活死人之地》 天呐 甚至是《行尸走肉》
to Land Of The Dead, my God, even The Walking Dead,
都说病毒是通过空气传播的
they all say it's airborne,
我们都已经被感染了
and we've all got it.
直到死后 才会尸变
And you don't turn until you die.
这是个持续了很多年的争议 而这个...
It's a long-running debate that this...
证明我胜利了
proves I've won.
你想再喝杯茶吗
You want another tea?
大贵妇混♥蛋♥被咬了
Big Dame Dickhead's been bitten!
不 才没有 否则她会告诉我的
No, she hasn't, she'd tell me.
不 她不会的
No, she wouldn't,
因为她是个邪恶 撒谎成性的网络骗子
because she's an evil, lying, Internet catfish.
-不可能 -那好吧
- No way. - Fine.
你干什么 那是大大的
What are you doing? That's Big's!
找出谎言
Looking for lies.
你和她是在网上认识的
You met her on the Internet,.
那可不是什么讲真话的地方
It's not exactly a hotbed of identical truth telling.
-我信任她 -但你却不肯信任我
- I trust her. - Yet you won't trust me.
-你确实很懒啊 -懒
- Well, you are quite lazy. - Lazy?
她自称是船舶工程师 却把发动机开得要爆掉
She's a boat engineer who's running an engine too hot.
她知道它的极限
She knows its limits.
她自称是弩冠军 但却不会射弩
She's a crossbow champion who can't shoot a crossbow.
她是为了节省弹♥药♥
She was saving ammunition.
她被咬了 还隐瞒了这事 三振出局吧
She's been bitten and hid it. That's three strikes.
这是第四项证据
And here's four.
这才是你的大贵妇英雄 她是大贵妇假货
That's your Big Dame Hero, and she's a Big Dame Fake.
你到底是谁
Who are you?
大贵妇英雄在哪儿
Where is Big Dame Hero?
我在公会的聊天室里看到了会面地点
I saw the meet up point on guild chat.
大大本来到了 但僵尸已经把她咬死了
Biggy was there, but they'd already got to her.
求你了 凯特 我需要去医院
Please, Kat, I need an hospital.
能把她丢下水了吗
Can we throw her in now?
她是公会成员 她需要帮助
She's a guildy, she needs help.
你是谁
Who are you?
灰熊凯伦
Grizzly Karen!
糟了
Shit!
放开我 你个大 傻...
Get off me, you big, dumb...
网络骗子
catfish!
连接终止
Connection terminated.
糟了
Oh, shit.
连接终止
Connection terminated!
-请求登船 -通过请求
- Permission to come aboard? - Permission granted.
穿上我的
Take this.
你真是不放过一切露肉的借口
Seriously, man, any excuse.
你还是把肉遮起来吧
Just cover yourself up.
凯特 他们赶上来了
Kat, they're here!
-你还好吧 -不好
- Are you OK? - No.
我丢了手♥机♥
I lost my phone.
你还好吗
Are you OK?
我最好的朋友竟然是我最大的敌人假扮的
My best friend turned out to be my worst enemy,
于是我把她杀了
so I killed her.
好吧
Right.
那个手♥机♥上有我的好多照片
It had all my photos on it.
我觉得我们应该让他们留下来
I think we should let the boys stay.
你改变主意了啊
You've changed your tune.
毕竟是世界末日 我们可能会需要帮助
It's the end of the world, we might need a bit of help.
再说了 他们也不是彻底的废物
Plus... they're not completely useless.
不是彻底的废物
Not completely.
你看到桑尼落水的样子了吗
Did you see Sunny fall in?
是的
Yeah.
你搞的车呢
So where's the car?
说来话长 可怕极了
Long story. Horrible story.
船顶上那个女人是谁啊
Who was the woman on the roof?
说来话长 非常古怪
Long story. Weird story.
-我不喜欢大马路了 太不安全了 -是啊
- I don't like roads, man. Roads are not safe. - Yeah.
没错 我觉得船上才最安全
Yeah, I think the boat's the best bet.
-你还记得穆尔瓦尼先生吗 -记得啊
- Do you remember Mr Mulvaney? - Oh, yeah.