神兽

你应该在一个小时前就到这里了
You were supposed to be here an hour ago.
-给我打电♥话♥ 嗨 -嗨
- Call me back. Hi. - Hi.
我很抱歉 好烦
I am so sorry. Ugh! Frustrated.
我前夫本来应该到这来照顾伯特
My ex was supposed to be here to watch Bert,
但他没来
and, um, he's not.
没关系的
Well, that-that's okay.
不 有关系
No, no, it's not.
我真的很期待今晚的约会
I was really looking forward to tonight.
我还剃了腿毛 做了所有准备
I mean, I shaved my legs and everything.
我不知道为什么 要告诉你这些
I-I don't know why... I don't know why I just told you that.
你知道的 我也有孩子 我理解会有突发状况
Hey, you know, I have kids, too. I know stuff happens.
这没关系的
It's-it's not a problem.
我们可以约另外一个时间
We can, we can do this another night.
我有个主意 可能有点疯狂
I have an idea. I don't know. Is this crazy?
我们就在家里吃 听起来疯狂吗
Is it crazy for us just to eat here?
我可以做点东西吃 你也见过伯特了
I could whip something up. You've already met Bert.
而且你剃了腿毛
And you shaved your legs.
我还是不知道我为什么要跟你说这些
I still don't know why I said that to you.
-可以吗 -可以
- Yeah? - Yeah.
-我很乐意 -太好了
- I would love to. - Great.
-好的 -进来吧
- Okay. - Okay, come on in.
这个叫莱莉的 和我上同一节代数学课的女生
So this girl Riley from my algebra class,
她说 "你想和我们一起吃午餐吗"
she was like, "Hey, want to sit together at lunch?"
然后莱莉从中学认识的朋友们
And then Riley's friends from her middle school
过来和我们坐在一起 我就说"太好了"
came and sat with us, and I was all, "Score!"
所以 你在第一天就认识了很多新朋友
So you met your crew on day one?
是啊 应该吧
Yeah, I thought so.
然后 他们就开始讨论日本动漫
And then they started talking about anime.
-什么日本动漫 -我不知道
- What about anime? - I don't know.
我一点都不了解日本动漫
I don't know anything about anime.
但是他们就只讨论这个
But that's all they talk about,
而我一点也不想成为
and I do not want to be one of those weird kids
在午餐时只讨论日本动漫的怪小孩
who only talks about anime at lunch.
所以呢 你才和他们一起吃午餐一次
So? It's just one lunch.
不是的 因为之后 铃♥声♥响后
No, because then, when the bell rang,
他们都说 "明天见 格蕾丝"
they all said, "See you tomorrow, Grace."
所以 就这样
So that's it,
我正式成为了看日本动漫的怪小孩之一
I'm officially one of those weird anime kids
沉迷于可折叠的机器人
who's obsessed with folding robots
有猫耳的女孩 和带闪电的头发
and girls with cat ears and lightning for hair.
交给我
I got this.
我听到了你说的事
I couldn't help but hear that story
关于跟你一起上代数学课的女孩
about the girl from your algebra class.
我肯定这听起来很傻
Yeah. I'm sure it sounds dumb.
只是 在新学校交朋友太难了
It's just hard starting a new school.
是的 但是我要说的不是这个
It is, but that's not what I'm getting at.
我在上经济学课
See, I'm in this econ class,
而经济学课需要用到很多代数学
and you need a lot of algebra for that.
所以你可以帮我回顾一下 代数学该怎么算吗
So could you remind me, how do you do algebra?
我的天啊 看看
Oh, my God, look at that.
看起来太棒了 这是什么
That looks amazing. What is it?
这是番茄酱与几层手工乳酪
Well, it's a tomato purée with layers of artisanal cheese,
搭配嫩口的卤猪肉
tender bites of spiced pork,
外面包着酥脆的千层酥面团
and it's all wrapped in a delicate puff pastry.
请坐
Have a seat.
其实 基本上就是家庭版的黑胡椒熏牛肉
It's, uh, it's basically just a homemade Hot Pocket
因为我很久没有去商店购物了
because I haven't been in the store in forever.
-干杯 -干杯
- Well, uh, cheers. - Cheers.
我就知道 我们有相似的灵魂
You know, I knew that we were kindred spirits.
我的意思是 你与食物打交道
I mean, you work with food,
我与植物打交道
and I work with plants,
但是我们都能用任何工作时用到的一切
but we both take whatever we've got to work with
创造出特别的东西
and we create something special from it.
韦德 你想要听笑话吗
Wade, do you want to hear a joke?
好啊 当然了 小家伙
Yeah, uh, sure thing, buddy.
好 一位妇科医生走进一家酒吧
Okay, a gynecologist walks into a bar...
你知道这些是什么意思吗
Do you even know what that means?
不知道
Nope.
但是后面有有一位裸体的女士点了一把螺丝刀
But then a naked lady orders a screwdriver...
够了 知道吗
Okay, you know what?
-该睡觉了 该睡觉了 -好的
- It's bedtime. It's bedtime. - Okay.
快走 我5分钟后回来
Come on, I'll be five minutes.
我在骗谁呢 他会想听睡前故事的
I mean, who am I kidding? He's gonna want a story.
可能得15分钟后
It's gonna be, like, 15.
我还有点想听完笑话的结局
I kind of want to hear the end of that joke.
看 你不能解出"X"的答案
See, you can't solve for "X"
你得先把它分离到方程的一边
until you isolate it on one side of the equation.
对 当然了
Oh, right, of course.
如果我是你 老妈 我会从基础开始
If I were you, mom, I would start with the fundamentals.
比如这些除法题
Like these division problems.
这是你的作业 诺亚
That's your homework, Noah.
前两道题都错了
These first two are wrong.
一边去
Go.
看看我家大学生 学无止境
Look at my coed. She just never stops.
格蕾丝
And, Grace,
跟着大♥师♥学不错吧
learning from the master, I see.
没错
That's right.
很棒
That sure is.
哈喽各位 艾迪
Hey, everybody. Addie!
走了 宝贝
Honey, let's go.
我们还能看半集《英国烘焙大赛》
We've got time for half a Great British Bake-Off.
我和娜塔莉也得走了
Oh, shoot. Natalie and I should get going, too.
明天还得上课
We have school in the morning.
不过我要是今天大半夜被树枝压扁
I mean, unless I get lucky and get crushed
明天就不用去学校了
by a tree branch in the middle of the night.
娜塔莉 我们走吧
Natalie, let's go!
格蕾丝还好吗
Is Grace okay?
新学校嘛 一开始很难适应
You know, new school; it's hard to find your place.
天哪 看来多大都这样
Oh, my God, it never changes.
福里斯特最近换新工作也有这个问题
Forrest is having the same problem at his new job.
改变的确很难
Change is hard.
你做的很棒哦 宝贝
Not for you, baby.
没错 我贼厉害
Right. 'Cause I'm killing it.
倍儿棒
Killing it.
我就是不想看到福里斯特不开心
I just hate to see Forrest this upset.
要不是我觉得不太好
I'd reach out to his colleague Dimitri myself
我就自己联♥系♥了他同事迪米特里了
if I didn't know it was a bad idea.
你知道这样不太好吧
But you do know it's a bad idea, right?
-不太好吗 -不好啊
- Is it? - Yes!
我刚说了我觉得不好啊
I just said it was.
看来我只能干看着他受苦了
Guess I'll just have to watch him suffer pointlessly.
-是的 -你就看着吧
- Definitely will. - Yes, you will.
我知道
I just said I will!
我在一个素食农业合作社工作了两年
So I spent two years working on a vegan farming co-op.
然后又给一个屠夫当了一夏天的学徒
And then I spent a summer apprenticing for a butcher.
那年失去了不少朋友
Lost a lot of friends that year.
-那我问你个问题 -好的
- So let me ask you this. - Yes.
如果我叔叔给我一头整猪
If I were to get a whole hog from my uncle...
-你能给我搞定了吗 -可以
- ...you could dress it for me? - Yes, I could.
这也太性感了吧
That is so unbelievably hot.
-真的吗 -真的
- Is it? - That's so hot.
-好的吧 -真的超性感
- Okay. All right. - Oh, that's so hot.
这可太可惜了
That is so unbelievably unfortunate.
这会再开一瓶是不是太晚了
Too late for another?
一点也不晚 你先去开着
No. Not even kinda. You do that,
我去看看伯特 他最近有点梦游
and I'll go check on Bert, because he's been sleepwalking
还在他放袜子的抽屉里尿尿
and peeing in his sock drawer.
那你赶紧去看看
Oh, yeah, you better go do that.
你知道这电视讲的啥吗
Do you know what's going on in this show?
不知道 完全看不懂
No, it doesn't make any sense.