大北方（2021）
The Great North
第一季
剧集 | 大北方（2021） | 导航列表
大北方（2021）
The Great North S01E09
Part 2
April 20, 2021, 11:40 a.m.
我从不敢想原来长大后要被打这么多耳光
There's more face slapping than I'd ever dared dream.
♪塔斯克·约翰逊 山之子♪
♪ Tusk Johnson, mountain man ♪
♪我们有提到塔斯克有个副手 丹吗♪
♪ Did we mention that Tusk has a sidekick, Dan? ♪
-天 我有好多关于这个节目的问题 -我也是
- Man, I have so many questions about the show. - Me, too.
你真的把那些蜜蜂都吃了吗
Did you really eat all those bees,
-尽管你对它们过敏 -你说反了
- even though you're allergic? - You have that backwards.
是蜜蜂对我过敏
Bees are actually allergic to me.
天啊 见到一个真心实意
Man, it is good to meet folks
对自然充满热情的人真好
with a real enthusiasm for the wild.
这就是为什么我回到阿♥拉♥斯加来拍我的新节目
That's why I came back to Alaska to shoot my new show.
-不是...吧 -等等 你说什么
- No... way. - Wait. What?!
-不...不可能吧 -什么
- No... no way! - What?!
是真的
Yes way.
我在制♥作♥最新一季《塔斯克·约翰逊的阿♥拉♥斯加冒险》
I am making The New Alaskan Adventures of Tusk Johnson,
但是这次我是自己来拍
but I'm shooting this one myself.
-全心全意投入其中 -那真是太酷了
- Down and dirty. - Oh, that is so cool.
天啊 约翰逊先生 我们不只看过你的节目
Oh, man, Mr. Johnson, we didn't just watch your show.
我们还真的尝试过一些你做过的野外挑战
We actually tried some of your wildest outdoor challenges.
我甚至试过在急流中用一根原木漂流而下
I even rafted down some rapids on a single log,
就像你做的那样
just like you.
我们俩都做过 父亲和儿子
Well, we both did it. Father and son,
在河流上肩并肩 在原木上漂浮
side by side on the river, mounted upon logs,
两人都做得不错
each doing a good job.
了不起 就连我的搭档丹都需要两根原木
Impressive. Even my sidekick Dan needed two logs
来越过急流
to get down the rapids.
丹怎么了 最后一季他都没出现
What happened to Dan? He wasn't in the last season.
对 丹 他...
Yeah. Dan. He, uh...
他背着我 偷偷去做自己的节目
he went behind my back, tried to get his own show.
偷走了我的团队 我的制片人还有我老婆
Stole my crew, my producer and my wife.
现在我还得处理麻烦的离婚手续
And now I'm going through a hell of a divorce.
酒吧准备打烊 你的卡冻结了
Bar closing. Your card declined.
倒霉 应该是我即将变为前任的老婆
Ah, man. That'll be my ex-wife
又在比基尼世界网站上挥金如土
going nuts on BikiniWorld.Com again.
至今没见过她不把哪件坦基尼泳装买♥♥回家
She's never met a tankini she didn't wanna bring home.
我去取点现金出来 你们俩等等我
I'll just go get some cash out. You guys hold tight.
要不然这次我们俩请吧
Well, now, how about we get the drinks?
-不 不 不 不行 我不能这样 -我们坚持
- Oh, no, no, no, no. I couldn't. - We insist.
我非常感激 谢谢你们
Wow, I-I really appreciate that. Thank you.
好吧 信♥用♥卡♥无效也就没酒店住了
Well, no credit card means no hotel.
-你的船呢 -被拖走了
- What about your boat? - It got towed,
今天下午我停错码头了
when I left it in the wrong dock this afternoon.
我最好找个好地方去
So I better go find someplace to dig
挖一个漂亮舒适的睡洞
a nice comfy sleeping hole.
或者你可以在我们沙发上挖一个漂亮舒适的睡洞
Or you can dig a nice comfy sleeping hole in our couch.
别担心
Don't worry.
不是那种折叠床椅 而且它非常不舒服
It's not a fold-out and it's very uncomfortable.
像美梦成真一样
Sounds like a dream.
孩子们 你们知道塔斯克曾今
Kids, did you know that Tusk once survived
只穿着树叶和树皮在一座山上生存了一周吗
a week on a mountain wearing only leaves and bark?
你怎么忍♥受低温的
How'd you stop the hypothermia?
我接受它 看到这条退了吗 因为冻伤过度
I embraced it. See this leg? It's been frostbit so much,
我感觉不到我上半部分的大腿了
I can't even feel my upper thigh.
试试看 把那叉子插♥进♥去
Go ahead, jam that fork in it.
-穆恩 我觉得... -不
- Moon, I wouldn't... - No!
-为什么 上帝 -再试一次 布恩
- Why, Lord? - Do it again, Boone.
-他又插了一次 -我看不下去了
- Oh, he did it again. - I can't watch.
穆恩 拜托 别再捅我们的客人了
Moon, please, let's try not to stab our guest.
你知道吗 塔斯克 如果你想要一个有关
You know, Tusk, if you want a great story
住在那些树林中的好故事 我得跟你说下那次
about living in these woods, I should tell you about the time
我在暴风雪中跨越冰上平原
I crossed an ice plain in a blizzard
为了把一只北美驯鹿宝宝送回它妈妈那
to return a baby caribou to its mother
那天正巧是穆恩出生的日子
after it wandered into the hospital
那只驯鹿宝宝迷路进了医院
while Moon was being born.
真是惊险的一天
Hell of a day.
或者那次我徒手
Or what about that time when I built that cabin
建小木屋的时候 虽然马上散架了
with my bare hands? Fell down right away.
幸好里面没人 但它完好无损的时候还是很开心的
Lucky no one was in it, but it was fun while it lasted.
听起来你们都是技艺高超的野外活动爱好者
Ah, sounds like you're both pretty accomplished outdoorsmen.
要不我们来个友好的小比赛
How about we have a friendly little competition
看看你们俩能做些什么
and see what you guys can do?
我 我爸和塔斯克·约翰逊的
Oh, an outdoor competition
户外比赛吗
with me, my dad and Tusk Johnson?
-就是我理想中的三人行了 -宝贝 别说了
- That's my fantasy threesome. - Babe, no.
好了 让我们跳上小货车
All right, let's jump in the van
去一些真正原始的地域吧
and head up to some real untamed country.
弄错腿了
Wrong leg!
好的 第一个挑战是爬90英尺的树 开始
All right, the first challenge is a 90-foot tree climb. And go!
第一轮获胜者 比夫 下一轮 砍树比赛
Round one: Beef. Next task: tree felling.
天 这真好玩
Man, this is fun!
好吧 这关也结束了
Oh, I see this round is over.
第二轮获胜者 比夫 是时候建临时庇护所了
Round two: Beef. Time for the shelter build.
好吧 该死 它自己散架了
Aw, well, darn it, that just fell down on its own.
第三轮获胜者 沃尔夫
Round three: Wolf.
-捕鱼赛 -快走开 兄弟 走
- Fishing. - Get out of here, buddy. Shoo.
我在让我儿子赢 你懂吗
I'm trying to let my son win. You understand?
-你有家庭吗 -捉到了
- Do you have a family? - Yeah!
我们现在比分持平
We got ourselves a tie.
终极关卡 我们来生火吧
Last round. Let's make a fire.
这比我想象中难啊
Oh, man, this is harder than I remember.
沃尔夫赢了
And Wolf wins.
太好了 认输吧 老爸
Yes! In your face, Dad!
好了 取笑到此为止
Ah, but that's enough ribbing.
我们开始拥抱环节吧
Let's move on to hugging.
是的 我们的拥抱挺煽情的
Yeah, our hugs are pretty tender.
不 不 不 我在说那些
No, no, no, I'm talking about those.
三颗金雕蛋 你知道这些
Three golden eagle eggs. You know how much
在稀有动物黑市上能卖♥♥多少钱吗
those would go for on the rare animal black market?
-一百万美元 -357美元每个
- A million dollars. - 357 each. U.S. D's.
这也太过精确了吧
That is wildly specific.
肯定有办法能拿到那些蛋
Gotta be a way I can get those eggs.
拿到那些蛋 为什么你想这么做
Get the eggs? Why would you want to do that?
这是违法的 而且还是对荒野自然的玷污
It's illegal, not to mention an affront to the wilderness herself.
是 是 没有 我的意思是我要去
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I meant I was just gonna
"感到"它们
"get" them.
你懂的 就像真正地用心感受这些蛋
You know, like, really, really understand those eggs.
这太深奥了 塔斯克
That is so deep, Tusk.
因为刚刚有一瞬间
Because it sounded for a second
听起来像你真的打算取这些蛋然后去卖♥♥掉
like you were planning on actually taking and selling those eggs.
比夫 你又误解我了
Once again, Beef, you misunderstood me.
是的 我相信是我误解你了
Yes, I believe I have misunderstood you.
反正我们也是时候回家了
Well, it's time we head back to the house anyway.
你可能也得想想
And you probably need to figure out
今晚要去哪里安置你的睡洞
where you're gonna dig your sleeping hole tonight.
我想我最好
Oh, well, uh, I'm thinking it's better
今晚还是和你们睡在一起 因为
if I stay with you guys tonight, because, uh,
我们得早起 一起录制节目
we gotta get up early to start shooting the show.
你什么意思
What do you mean?
刚刚一切都是试镜
This was all an audition.
我想要你们俩都上我的节目
I want both of you to be on my show.
我还想在你们的船上拍摄
And I want to shoot it on your boat!
-等等 我还没... -我们被选中了
- Well, wait a minute. I'm not... - We got the parts?
听见了吗 老爸
You hear that, Dad?
是的 我想你成为我的新"丹"
Yep. I want you to be my new Dans.
天啊 我不敢想象我和我老爸都要成为"丹"了
Oh, wow, I can't believe I'm gonna be a Dan with my dad.
你怎么说 比夫
What do you say, Beef?
-好吧 -赞
- Fine. - Sick!
赞 赞 赞 赞...
Sick, sick, sick, sick...
你妈妈有挺多好东西 我爱死这件浴袍了
Your mom had some great stuff. I love this robe.
对 她也喜欢这件 她经常穿着这件
Yep, she loved it, too. That's what she always wore
去参加家长会
to parent-teacher night.
大北方（2021）
The Great North
剧集 | 大北方（2021） | 导航列表