大北方（2021）

The Great North S01E03

Part 2 March 1, 2021, 12:31 p.m.

当然多少钱
Oh, of course. How much?
请记住我没有钱
Uh, now, bear in mind, I don't have any money.
有可以交易的东西吗
Uh, got anything to trade?
有一张夫妻按♥摩♥的礼券
Got a gift certificate for a couples massage.
一小时后到这来见我
Meet me back here in an hour.
-真轻松 -如果你这么觉得的话
- Well, that was easy. - If you say so.
小乔迪经常坑骗人
Old Jody Jr.'s always ripping everybody off,
因为他觉得他是唯一的选择
because he thinks he's the only game in town,
而那是因为他确实是唯一的选择
and that's just because he's the only game in town.
一切都不会有事的
Everything's gonna be fine.
你想在我们等待期间去莫德店
Hey, you want to go to Maude's All Day,
买♥♥圣代冰淇淋吗
get an ice cream sundae while we wait?
别以高人一等的态度对待我
Don't patronize me.
我想去
And yes, I do.
这个对你父母的脸和身体的
Wow, that was a very thorough description
描述很详尽啊
of your parents' faces and bodies.
现在跟我讲讲性格
Now, uh, take me to personality town.
他们人什么样肯定跟你一样很棒
What are they like? I mean, amazing, like you, obviously,
但还有什么呢
of course, but what else, what else?
-你还能告诉我什么 -路易斯和露丝·肖
- What else can you tell me? - Louis and Ruth Shaw
是弗雷斯♥诺♥的窗帘国王和女王
are the Curtain King and Queen of Fresno.
问题是他们也想要我去卖♥♥窗帘
The problem was, they wanted me to sell all that stuff, too,
但是叫卖♥♥窗帘不是我的使命
but hawking curtains wasn't my calling.
我们今天到了一些布莱恩·威廉姆斯
We got some beautiful denim curtains
"非正式"系列的粗斜纹布窗帘
from the Brian Williams "Off the Record" collection today.
哈妮碧或许你想要负责发布
Honeybee, maybe you'd like to handle the launch.
这对你以后接管店铺后是很好的锻炼
It's good practice for when you take over the store.
我说过我不想接管店铺
I've told you, I don't want to take over the store.
-杰瑞不行吗 -别扯上他
- Can't Jerry do it? - Leave him out of it.
各位请别让我站队
Guys, please don't make me take sides.
除了这个可口土豆泥
Except a side of these delicious mashed potatoes.
哈妮碧你是长女
Honeybee, you're the oldest.
再说杰瑞没有商业学位
Besides, Jerrybee doesn't have a business degree.
他卖♥♥窗帘不需要
And he doesn't need one to sell blinds.
所以你觉得我和你妈妈就是干这个的
Wow. So that's all you think your mother and I do,
卖♥♥窗帘
"sell blinds"?
爸你跟我们讲过多少次
Dad, how many times have you told us the story
你拿着30刀和一卷毛边天鹅绒窗帘
about how you moved to Fresno with $30 in your pocket
搬来弗雷斯♥诺♥
and a bolt of "uncut velvet drapery"?
你追随了你的梦想我只想要追随我的
You followed your dreams. All I want is to follow mine.
真好奇会是谁
Oh, I wonder who that could be.
我猜猜是卡尔文·普雷斯科特
Let me guess: It's Calvin Prescott,
弗雷斯♥诺♥的油毯王子假装他
the Linoleum Prince of Fresno, pretending like he just happened
刚好又在附近对不对
to be in the neighborhood again, isn't it?
是卡尔文·普雷斯科特
It's Calvin Prescott!
弗雷斯♥诺♥的油毯王子
The Linoleum Prince of Fresno.
他刚好在附近
He just happened to be in the neighborhood.
你好肖先生杰瑞哈妮碧
Hello, Mr. Shaw. Jerry. Hey, Honeybee.
哈妮碧或许你们该去开车兜兜风
Honeybee, maybe you two should go for a drive
这样你们好增进彼此的认识
so you can get to know each other better.
我们12岁起就认识了
We've known each other since we were 12!
行吧走卡尔文
Fine. Come on, Calvin,
我们赶快去搞定这个虚伪安排
let's get this sham setup over with.
这不是虚伪安排小姐
This isn't a "sham setup," young lady.
这是次正常普通真实的安排
It's a normal, regular, very real setup.
去爱上卡尔文吧
Now, go fall in love with Calvin.
-兑现承诺 -等等等等
- As promised. - Uh, uh, wai... wait-wait-wait--
这些是梨子
these are frigging pears.
我去大杰夫肯定坑了我
Hot damn! Big Jeff must've ripped me off.
真是不能信大杰夫
Well, you just can't trust Big Jeff.
不过别担心我这就过去教训他
But don't you worry, I'm going over there to give him a what for.
很好但是好歹
Good, but at the very least,
你要把我的礼券还给我吧
I'm gonna need that gift certificate back.
我要是可以当然会还但是已经没了
Would if I could, but that sucker is long gone.
我这才过了一个小时
I-It's been an hour.
你就已经去做了夫妻按♥摩♥
You already went and got a couples massage?
我拿它去换了七盒打印机碳粉
I traded it for seven cartons of printer toner.
小乔迪宝刀未老
Old Jody Jr. Has still got it.
我要这些破梨干什么
Well, what am I supposed to do with these stupid pears?!
当生活给你梨子就让梨子产奶
Hey, when life gives you pears, make pear milk!
-我 -别
- I... - Don't.
-早 -穆恩
- told... - Moon.
-说 -住口
- you... - Stop.
-吧 -该死
- so. - Dang it!
好消息一小时内第二轮圣代冰淇淋
Welp, great news. The second round of ice cream sundaes
让我有了个好主意
in an hour has given me a pretty good idea.
要是我们用这些梨子做鳄梨酱呢
What if we just make guacamole out of these pears?
然后我们说好吃这个鳄梨酱真不错
And then we say, "Yum! This guac is good."
希望她不会注意到
Hopefully, she won't notice.
她会注意到的
I think she'll notice.
嗯她什么都能注意到
Yeah, she notices everything.
这正是我喜欢她的地方
And that's what I love about her.
前几天她注意到我衣服上洒满了意面
Just the other day she noticed I had spaghetti all over my shirt.
到处都是
I mean, just everywhere.
该死现在我既没有鳄梨
Dang it! Well, now I don't have avocados
也没有夫妻按♥摩♥的礼券了
or a gift certificate for a couples massage!
-我想我能帮你 -谢谢穆恩
- I think I can help you. - Oh, thank you, Moon,
但那会很奇怪更别说不得体了
but it would be weird, not to mention inappropriate,
让你给我和我未婚妻按♥摩♥
for you to give me and my fiancée massages.
不沃尔夫我上五年级
No, Wolf, I'm in fifth grade.
我就是那意思
Yeah, that's kind of my point.
听着我们年级的整个经济
Listen, our grade's entire economy
就是个没有法律的物物交换经营
is a lawless barter operation.
我们得去看我朋友亨利
We need to go see my friend Henry.
如果我们要做史莱克装饰的话
If we're making Shrek decorations,
派对组的首要任务就是
the Party Posse's first order of business
看一些《怪物史莱克》
is to watch some Shrek.
-我们可以在网上看 -好主意
- We can stream it. - Hmm, good idea.
我去拿我的高筒防水胶靴
I'll get my waders.
-因为"水流" -双关不错爸
- Because of the stream. - Very good one, Dad.
-无线网没了吗 -是的
- Uh-oh. Is the Wi-Fi down? - Ah. Yes.
猎鹰又把抛物面天线当做巢了
The falcons are using the dish as a nest again.
30天后生命循环将会完成
In 30 days, the circle of life will be complete,
无线网就能恢复了
and we'll have the Wi-Fi back.
好的没关系
Okay. No big deal.
八年前我在一次睡衣派对上
I saw ten minutes of Shrek at a slumber party
看了十分钟的《怪物史莱克》然后就睡着了
eight years ago before I fell asleep,
-我想我知道梗概 -很好从哪开始
- so I think I got the gist. - Great. Where do we begin?
你首先需要知道的是
So, the first thing you need to know
史莱克是深灰色他喜欢海滩
is that Shrek is dark gray and he loves the beach.
弗雷斯♥诺♥的夜景听上去好浪漫
Wow! The view of Fresno at night sounds so romantic.
和卡尔文在那生活并不浪漫
Being there with Calvin was not romantic.
我们更像是兄妹
We're more like brother and sister.
一对父母拼命
A brother and sister whose parents desperately wanted them
想撮合的兄妹
to marry each other.
别误会卡尔文是个好男人
Don't get me wrong-- Calvin was a good guy.
他只是不适合我比如
He just wasn't for me. For example,
我喜欢看电影而卡尔文喜欢
I love watching movies, and Calvin loves...
弗雷斯♥诺♥
Fresno.
是不是很"弗"观
Isn't it Fres-taking?
抱歉我今晚过来假装约你出去
Uh, sorry I came over tonight-- pretending to take you out
比告诉我父母我们的真实感受更简单
is just easier than telling my parents how we really feel.
他们为什么理解不了我们想
Why can't they understand that we want to build
打造自己的事业还有旅行
our own businesses one day, and travel.
-《没有人会把宝贝留在角落里》 -什么
- Nobody puts baby in a corner. - What?
-《辣身舞》 -今晚不行我好累
- Dirty Dancing? - Not tonight. I'm pretty beat.
弗雷斯♥诺♥很不错海岛水上公园
I mean, Fresno's great-- the Island Water Park,
小瑞典但如果我想看大瑞典呢
Little Sweden-- but what if I want to see big Sweden?
你在生活里想实现什么卡尔文
What do you want out of life, Calvin?
我多半会卖♥♥油毯然后变老死去
I'll probably just sell linoleum and get old and die