大北方（2021）

The Great North S01E06

Part 4 April 13, 2021, 9:29 a.m.

So is Ham.
他们在互相对着跳
They're doing it at each other.
可是
Oh, but...
-可是 -朱迪等等
- But... - Oh! Judy, wait.
我们是不想浪费掉舞池时刻
We were trying not to waste the dance floor moments.
克里斯平应该是我的舞伴
Crispin was supposed to be my date.
快讯花腰豆不是好礼物
And news flash, pinto beans are not a good gift!
对不起克里斯平我不能这么对我妹妹
I'm sorry, Crispin, just... I can't do this to my sister.
再见哈姆·托宾
Goodbye, Ham Tobin.
我们在课上见
I'll see you in every single class.
那个交易对我很重要而你把它毁了
That deal was really important to me and you ruined it.
抱歉我以为我在帮忙
I'm sorry. I thought I was helping.
我感觉你变了
I just feel like you've changed.
你宁愿发邮件也不钓鱼
You'd rather e-mail than fish.
没错比夫我变了
You're right, Beef. I've changed.
我喜欢每天穿婚礼裤
I love wearing wedding pants every day.
我喜欢参加电♥话♥会议
I love crushing conference calls.
这就是现在的我
This is who I am now.
但你还喜欢隆慕斯吗
But do you still like Lone Moose?
当然我爱隆慕斯因为你在这儿
Of course. I love Lone Moose, because you're here.
我们所有的回忆都在这儿
And all our memories are here.
但事实是我去钓鱼
But the truth is, when I was out fishing
或者用高压清洗机清洗之后会装满鱼的船
or pressure-washing boats that would later be fished in
或者售卖♥♥散装沙丁鱼粉
or selling bulk pulverized sardines
用来做鱼饵的时候我并不开心
to use as bait for fishing, I wasn't happy.
怎么可能
How is that possible?
因为作为兄弟不代表我们是同一个人
Because being brothers doesn't mean we're the same person.
只是代表我们关心彼此
It just means we care about each other.
我很关心我会尽力支持你的大城市生活
I do care. I'm gonna try to support your big-city life,
尽管我觉得很糟糕
even though I also think it's terrible
我想你你能搬回来吗
and I miss you and will you please move back?
-比夫 -抱歉我不说了
- Beef. - Sorry. I'll stop now.
但我很喜欢你在理发店里剪的头发
I do enjoy your salon-bought haircut, though.
给你一种权威的感觉就像空乘
It gives you an air of authority, like a flight attendant.
那就坐好吧比夫
Well, then, please remain seated, Beef,
在我心里的头等舱位
in the first-class cabin of my heart.
愚蠢的舞会傻瓜们跳舞
Stupid dance. Stupid people dancing.
单纯的爱情就是愚蠢的谎言
Dumb love is a stupid lie.
就像冰雪皇后里没人兑换的"免费冰淇淋"券
Like the "Free cone" Coupons they won't honor at DQ.
"它们过期了朱迪"
"Ooh, they're expired, Judy."
蠢货
Idiots!
我讨厌爱情
I hate love.
-嗨小姑娘 -谁在说话
- Hey, girl. - Who said that?
是我你这丧气难过的小姑娘
I did, you sad, sad lady,
在我的大日子里泣不成声
weeping up a storm on my special day.
托马斯·温特斯伯恩是你吗
Thomas Wintersbone? Is that you?
小姑娘你知道就是我
Girl, you know it's me.
到底怎么了丧气姑娘
Now, what in the hell is wrong, sad lady?
你是一个在学校舞会上的16岁女孩
You're a 16-year-old girl at a school dance.
你应该在舞厅里忙得热火朝天
You should be in there working the room,
下蹲热舞拥抱接吻
dropping it low, catching smooches.
问题就在这托马斯我在西雅图毫无行情
Well, that's just it, Thomas. I'm Smoochless in Seattle.
我来这是为了体验爱情的
I came here tonight to experience romance
和思慕雪大王的克里斯平
with Crispin, from Smoothie Boss?
但他认识了我哥哥哈姆
But then he met my brother Ham.
他们在做那些本该是我做的事
And they're doing everything I was supposed to do.
他们打情骂俏欢声笑语甚至亲上了
They flirted and laughed and even shared a home-run smooch.
我想要的不过是属于我的史诗爱情故事
All I ever wanted was my own epic love story,
就像你和露比一样
just like yours and Ruby's.
史诗爱情故事
Epic love story?
露比·伦奇和我并不相爱
Ruby Wrench and I were not in love.
我们是朋友因为我们
We were friends brought together by a world
都与世界格格不入才碰到一起的
that made us both feel like outsiders.
知道吗露比她更喜欢
You see, Ruby, she preferred
她好朋友安妮的陪伴
the company of her best friend Anne.
-我没明白 -该怎么说呢
- I don't understand. - How can I put this?
她们是会在晚上嘴对嘴亲吻的女生朱迪
They were women who kissed upon the lips in the night, Judy.
-她们是拉拉 -算是
- Oh, they were lesbians. - Okay, sure.
你们现在是这么叫的吗
Is that what you call it nowadays?
而我呢我是个男版拉拉
And me, I was a lesbian for men.
特别是对伐木工人
Especially lumberjacks.
对于伐木工人我可是特别弯
I was very lesbian for lumberjacks.
托马斯两个男生的话现在叫做"男同"
Um, Thomas, two boys is called "Gay" Now.
太迟了朱迪我已经死了我能继续吗
Too late, Judy, I'm dead. May I go on?
露比和我为了避免遭到迫♥害♥决定结婚
Ruby and I decided to wed to avoid persecution,
并不是为了爱
not for love.
我承诺雇一个伐木工人
And I promised to pay a lumberjack
给我们俩多建一个小木屋出于
to build us a second cabin, for...
-一些原因 -因为你们的爱
- reasons. - Because your love couldn't
-一个木屋装不下吗 -不因为我们是"拉拉"
- be contained by just one cabin? - No, we were lesbians.
好好听故事
Focus up!
我独自一人死在了雪里
I died alone in the snow,
因为我没法做炫目多彩的自己
because I couldn't be my own fabulous self.
人们不喜欢我英年早逝的真♥相♥
People didn't like the truth of my untimely demise,
所以编造了一个他们更加认同的故事
so they made up a story they found more agreeable.
听起来耳熟吗
Does that sound familiar?
可能有点像你刚刚的说的故事
Maybe a little bit like what you've done
关于你和克里斯平的史诗爱情
with yours and Crispin's epic love story?
什么可能吧
What? Oh, maybe.
爱情是非常珍贵的东西小瓢虫
Love is a precious thing, ladybug.
让哈姆拥有属于他的吧
Let Ham have his.
也别浪费感情在不能回报你的人身上
And don't waste yours on someone who can't even return it.
我知道我该做什么了
I think I know what I have to do.
一直如此
And you always did.
其实不是的
Actually that's not true.
我可以说是手把手教你才让你明白
I really had to walk you right up to it.
这个舞会就是谎言遍布的压♥迫♥
This dance is a five-alarm fire of lies.
是时候拿出"灭谎器"了
And, well, it's time to pull out the liar extinguisher.
我得把这写下来以后可以用在自传记里
Ooh, I've got to write that down and use it for my memoirs.
请在爆♥炸♥前尽快逃离起火大楼
Please move away from the burning building before it explodes!
大家根本没有大楼起火
Everybody, there is no burning building!
我按了火警铃因为我们需要洗牌重来
I pulled the fire alarm, because we need a redo.
这个舞会建立在一个谎言之上
This dance was founded on a lie.
托马斯和露比并不相爱
Thomas and Ruby weren't in love.
他们最大的心愿是住在各自的小木屋里
Their biggest dream was to live in two separate cabins.
一个小木屋容不下他们的爱
Um, their love couldn't be contained by just one cabin.
不是他们是同性恋这不是一个爱情故事
Uh, no, they were gay! This isn't a love story.
是关于两个身不由己的人的故事
It's a story about two people who couldn't be themselves.
是关于某人独自在雪中死去
It's a story about someone who died,
穷尽一生希望能被接纳
alone in the snow, trying to fit in.
如果我们真的想为托马斯和露比庆祝
If we really want to celebrate Thomas and Ruby,
今晚不应该是关于规矩和传统的
tonight shouldn't be about rules or tradition
或者站在外边致敬托马斯
or staying outside in homage to Thomas.
他很讨厌外边
He hated it outside.
这应该是一个所有人都尽情享受的夜晚
This should be a night where everyone can have fun.
不管他们是谁或者他们喜欢谁
No matter who they are or who they like.
没错如果你是一个喜欢待在外面的女孩
Yeah, and if you're a girl who wants to stay out here
想在伸手不见五指的夜晚堆一些雪怪
and make snow demons under the impenetrable night sky,
也是完全可以的
that's allowed, too.
是的当然了还有一件事
Uh, yeah, sure. And one more thing:
克里斯平我不打算邀请你一起了
Crispin, I'm uninviting you in.
有趣
Delicious.
起初应该跟你一起进去的
There's someone else you really should've gone with
另有其人
in the first place.
哈姆上来
Ham, get up here.
我想邀请克里斯平·西恩福格斯一起进去
I'd like to invite Crispin Cienfuegos in.
敬布莱恩
To Brian.
等等我们要怎么在这热腾腾的蒸汽里
But wait, how ever will we keep these beers cold
-让啤酒保持冰凉 -我们的道路杀手隔热套
- in this hot steam? - Our Roadkill Koozies
隔热效果非常好既环保又有杯
are well-insulated, sustainable and fun.
所以我们定下来了