公寓大楼里的谋杀案（2021）

Only Murders in the Building S04E08

Part 5 Oct. 23, 2024, 10:56 a.m.

赫嘉 - 不要救命
Helga!
不是只有你在杜登奥夫死掉那晚收到字条
You're not the only one who got a note the night that Dudenoff died.
你们每个人
Now, everybody,
跟我来
come with me!
我们当晚都收到字条
We all got notes that night.
只是我们的内容不同
Only ours were different.
「诚挚邀您参加我的丧礼午夜地下室
"You are cordially invited to my funeral. Midnight, in the basement.
别告诉赫嘉」
Don't tell Helga."
搞什么
What the fuck?
丧礼
Funeral?
我不喜欢这样
I don't like it.
好了我们走
Come on. Let's go.
(布莱罗斯) (焚化炉)
因为这是邀请函出于礼貌应该要来...
怎么回事 - 好
Hey! Milton, what's going on? - Hey-- Okay--
我能说话吗可以吗
Hey, can I just talk?! Can I?
好 - 当然好
Yeah. - Of course.
你们都知道我常说电影的好坏取决于它的演员
Uh, so, you know I'm always saying a movie is only as good as its cast?
我只是一个老师
Now, I'm just a teacher.
我从来没机会拍自己的电影
I never got to make... my own movie.
但我告诉你们
But I'll tell you this.
如果我们的人生是电影...
If our lives were a movie...
我的选角无人能及
I cast the shit outta this one.
教授我们到底来这里做什么
Professor, what exactly are we doing here?
这个嘛...
Well, uh...
我有一些健康方面的消息
I-I have some medical news.
我是个老头子
I'm an old guy, so, you know,
所以没有《亲密关系》那么悲情不过...
it's not like Terms of Endearment sad or anything, but, you know, I-- Uh...
他们说我只剩几个月了
they tell me I've, uh, only got a few months.
什么 - 所以...
And so--
我走了以后
Uh, you know, when I'm gone...
大楼的人会进来
...uh, this building, they're gonna swoop in and,
然后拆散我们的卡司
you know, tear our cast apart. But,
但我有个变通的方法
I have a workaround.
就是...
And, uh...
你们都要让我活下去
and it's that you will all keep me alive.
其实也不是因为我刚吞了一堆药丸
W-Well, I mean, actually no 'cause I've just taken a hell of a lot of pills.
我要你们今晚把我的尸体放进焚化炉
I want you, tonight, to put my body in the incinerator!
对
Yes! Yes!
然后我要你们兑现我的社会安全支票
And then, I want you to cash my social security checks,
我要你们跟大家说我搬到葡萄牙了
and I want you to tell everybody I just moved to Portugal.
而且...你们不能告诉赫嘉
And you... you can't tell Helga.
我会录一段讯息以免
I'm just gonna record a message, you know, in case, uh,
被她发现这样她才不会怪你们
you know, she finds out, and then, she won't blame you.
我们可以叫救护车 - 不行拜托让我这么做
We can call an ambulance. - Yeah-- No, come on, let me do this.
就让我这么做吧
Just let-- Just let me do this.
拜托
Please.
录完以后我们就拥抱之类的好吗
And then, you know, afterwards, then let's just all hug and shit, okay?
那么文斯来吧
Hey, so, Vince, come on.
动作快来拍片吧
Chop, chop. Let's shoot this thing.
来一次搞定
Come on. One take.
没关系
It's okay. It's okay.
赫嘉
Hey, Helga.
我知道你很生气
I know you're angry.
但你♥爸♥过世后你一直无法平复
But, you know, you had such a, uh, hard time bouncing back after your dad
我才会有这个愚蠢的想法
that I-I had this... stupid thought
也许这样你就不必承受另一次死别
that maybe I could... shield you from another death.
但如果你看到这个我的大计终究失败了
But, if you're watching this, then, you know, my master plan has gone to hell.
希望我不会下地狱
And, hopefully, I haven't.
人只能尽力而为对吧
What can a guy do but try, right?
永志不忘
Here's looking at you, kid.
对不起宝贝
We're so sorry, baby.
是啊
Yeah.
他一直希望我们能守着彼此
It's, uh, it's what he wanted, to keep us all together.
搬回来一起住吧
Move on back in with us.
拜托你
Please. - Please.
纽约只有这里能让我养猪
It is the only place in New York where I can have a pig.
等等赫嘉不是鲁迪的前女友
Wait. Helga's not Rudy's ex-girlfriend?
那也是谎言
That was another lie?
对除了烧掉一个人
Yeah, in addition to setting a human on fire,
我们还谎称我有女朋友
we also lied about me having a girlfriend.
愿主慈悲
May God have mercy.
所以这些人不是杀人犯
So, these are not murderers.
不是但我们有不得了的线上电台了
No, but... we've got one hell of a podcast.
我们确实故弄玄虚持续...
And, yes, we've been keeping up the ruse
天啊 - ...兑现他的支票
Oh God. - and cashing his checks.
我们要坐牢了
We're going to jail.
这个嘛...
Well...
不会的
No, you're not.
大伙我们以前是三个住在亚柯尼亚大楼的寂寞怪胎
Guys, we used to be three lonely weirdos living in the Arconia.
线上电台拉近了我们我不想用它来拆散他们
The podcast brought us together. I don't wanna use it to tear them apart.
你觉得人性比线上电台更重要真是...
So, humanity's more important to you than the podcast?
令人♥大♥开眼界
What a revelation.
好如果不是三个鲁蛇而是一家子鲁蛇
Okay, what if it's not three losers, but, like, a family of losers
想在其中两个人死掉之前让世界变得更美好呢
who wants to make the world a better place before two of them die?
那也是一个观点
That's one way to look at it.
好我还有想法你想听吗
Yeah. Well, I have more. You wanna hear more?
说到家人
No thanks.
我应该告诉你我叫我助理的助理
Speaking of family, I should tell you that I had my assistant's assistant
帮你订了帝国大厦屋顶上的婚礼
book you a wedding atop... the Empire State Building,
四周会有热气球围绕
encircled by a fleet of hot air balloons.
不行 - 别担心我会...付钱的
No, no. I-- - Don't worry. I-'m gonna... I'll pay for it.
我很想说这么做让我很开心但是并没有
I wish I could tell you this gives me joy, but it doesn't.
你不是我以为的浪漫派
You are not the romantic I thought you were,
我不知道我该怎么扮演你或尊敬你
and I don't know how I'm gonna play you or respect you.
就是这样
So, here we are.
查克谢谢你这番...美言
Well, thank you, Zachary, for those... lovely words.
但我跟罗芮塔应该在亚柯尼亚大楼这里结婚
But, Loretta and I shall marry here, in the Arconia.
这是我们坠入爱河的地方
This is where we fell in love,
我要的是我们在漫长的余生中
and I want a marriage where we fall in love every day
每天都能坠入爱河的婚姻
for the rest of our very long lives.
你这个可爱的腊肠包
You... adorable baloney loaf.
你这个帅气难搞的腊肠包
You... beautiful bitchy... baloney loaf.
你知道腊肠包是什么吗
Do you know what a baloney loaf is?
你是浪漫派
You are a romantic.
你让我正视我的情绪谢谢你
You got me in touch with my emotions. Thank you.
很荣幸能略尽绵薄之力让你展现真正的自我
Well, it was an honor playing a small part in bringing out your true self.
查尔斯我不会重现任何一部分让你失去观众的
And Charles, I won't alienate your audience by putting any of it on film.
再见 - 再见
Bye. - Bye.
再见
Bye.
你还好吗
You good?
对我很好
Yeah, I'm good.
在电影《救生船》中每个人是否都能回到岸上...
Whether or not everyone makes it back to shore in the movie Lifeboat...
就让你自己发掘吧
...I'll leave for you to discover.
但这部电影的重点
But what the film is really
是没有血缘关系的家人一起在海上奋力求生
about is found families, fighting together for their survival
那是一个人很难度过的关卡
in waters that can be really tough to get through if you're all alone.
到头来西塔并没有发生谋杀案
In the end, there was no murder in the West Tower.
只是有个人搬到葡萄牙还把一群陌生人变成一家人
Just a guy who moved to Portugal and made a family out of strangers.
没有血缘关系的家人
Well, found family,
我们放弃精彩的线上电台故事回到起点了
we buried a great podcast story and are back to square one.
我们没线索可查时怎么都没有叮咚出现
Why can't we ever get a ding-dong when we run out of leads?
是敲敲门的叮咚
A knock-knock ding-dong!
你觉得他还有肠胃奶吗
Think he's got any Gut Milk in there?
我看过冰箱了他只有啤酒
I already checked the fridge. He just has beer.
看看是谁来了
Look who's here.
赫嘉你把猪带回来啦
Oh, hey, Helga. I see you got your pig back.
对很感谢那个不想把它还给我的愤怒男
Yes! I'm grateful to the angry man who reluctantly returned her to me.
他好像叫哈尔德
I think his name is Howard?
我不想在大家团聚的时候提起
I didn't want to bring it up among the reunions,
但我想说一件有关你们朋友赛丝的事
but I wanted to tell you something about your friend, Sazz.