没有我们和我们的真人故事改编权 就拍不了电影
Uh, without us and our life rights, there's no film.
所以我们需要一个合理的数目
So, what we need is a number that is fair--
我们不用讨论数目
Oh, we don't need to do numbers.
请你们的律师打给商业事务部就好
You can just have your lawyers call business affairs.
好了
Okay, there we go.
只写了四
It's just a four.
四 - 四
Four. - Four.
没错 四 四
That's right. Four.
四...
Four. Four...
四什么 四...千
Four what? Four... thousand.
四...
Four...
四百...四千百
Four hundred. Four hundred... Four thousand... hundred.
四十四亿
Forty-four hundred... million?
四亿百
Four million hundred?
还是...还是五
Or... Or five.
五...
Five--
不管是多少 我们都会想办法
Guys, whatever the number, we're gonna make it work.
抱歉 我能离开吗
Uh, I'm sorry, can you excuse me?
怎么了 梅宝 - 我想...
Wh-What's the matter, Mabel? - I think, um,
我需要一点时间
I just need a moment.
她可能想要六 - 对
She may want a six. - Uh-huh.
梅宝
Mabel?
你好
Howdy!
(派拉蒙影业)
她在那里
There she is.
梅宝
Hey, Mabel!
你还好吗
Are you okay?
只是有点受不了
Oh, uh, just a little overwhelmed.
这个地方就是这样
This lot can do that, you know?
魔力 才智
The magic. The genius.
我记得我在那里 跟伟大的罗伯埃文斯开会过
I remember having a meeting right over there with the great Robert Evans.
他当时充满了活力和点子
He was filled with energy and ideas.
还有古♥柯♥碱
And also cocaine,
那大多来自他为了通过机场安检 而吞下的保险套里
much of which was in a condom he'd swallowed to get past airport security.
不是这样的
Uh, no, it's not that.
只是...你们有听到他们对我的描述吗
Just, did you hear how they described me in there?
没地方住 没工作 爱嘟哝
Like, homeless, jobless, mumbling...
大声点 我听不见 - 我没听到最后一项
Speak up, dear, I can't hear you. - I missed that last part.
我不是说那完全不准确
I'm not saying it's completely inaccurate.
但如果他们为那个梅宝 拍了一部大♥片♥ 万一
But, if they make a big movie about that Mabel, what if...
我不想一直当那个人呢
I don't wanna be that person forever?
我懂你的意思
I know what you mean.
贝芙梅伦说我是无趣的乌龟
Bev Melon called me an un-fun turtle.
无趣耶
Un-fun. I mean,
我很有趣 对吧
I'm fun! Right?
对
Yeah.
当然
Sure...
不是人人都觉得你有趣... - 没错
I mean, y-you're not fun for everyone,
没错 - 但我们觉得
but you-- but you are to us. - No, no, no.
对 是啊...是啊
Uh-huh! Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
听着 我不是要拒绝 只是...
Look, I'm... I'm not saying no.
我得想想这个大电影合约
I just, I need to think about this big movie deal.
可以吗
Is that okay?
我们无论如何都支持你 对吧 奥利佛
Whatever you decide, we'll stand behind you. Right, Oliver?
对
Uh-huh...
电影公♥司♥今晚会帮我们举办很大的派对
The studio is throwing us a huge party tonight.
我传讯息给罗芮塔了 她会来
I texted Loretta. She's coming.
我需要这个机会 但别有压力
I need this. But, no pressure.
奥利佛 你抱太紧了
Oliver, you're crushing me.
别有压力 - 好
No pressure. - Okay.
我邀请赛丝来派对 但她又没回应了
I invited Sazz to the party,
她通常都会马上回复我
but she's back to not responding, and she usually gets right back to me.
天啊 查尔斯 别再哭哭啼啼了 无趣先生
Oh Jesus, Charles, enough with the boo-hoo-hoo, Mr. Un-fun.
你们看 这下有趣了
Hey, look, here comes fun!
这位是席尼
This is Sidney.
他是我拍《侦探布拉奏斯》时的司机
He was my driver during the old Brazzos days.
他会带我们参观好莱坞
He's gonna give us a big tour of Hollywood.
席尼
Hey, Sidney!
席尼还活着吗
Is Sidney alive?
如果你担心赛丝
Hey, if you're worried about Sazz,
我们可以不参观 直接去她家
why don't we just skip the tour and stop by her place?
其实赛丝的公♥寓♥就在好莱坞参观之旅当中
Well, actually, Sazz's apartment complex belongs on a Hollywood tour.
走吧
Come on!
我看停靠点越少 对席尼越好
And, frankly, the less stops for Sidney, the better.
他活像在开他自己的灵车
You know, he looks like he's driving his own hearse.
不过我确实想先去一个地方
Although, I do have one place I wanna go first.
那就快上老爷车吧
Well, let's get in this gas guzzler.
(好莱坞)
来吧
Ha! Come on!
布拉奏斯 对
Brazzos! Yeah!
他们不认得你 他们不认识你
They don't recognize you. Don't think they know you. No, they don't know you.
暮日天鹅 这个地方是个传奇
The Sunset Swan. This place is legend.
我在《侦探布拉奏斯》第一季时住这里
I lived here during season one of Brazzos,
后来赛丝接下我的租约
before Sazz took over my lease.
只有好莱坞会有这种地方
This is the kind of place that can only exist in Hollywood.
名人可以短期租赁
Where celebrities take short-term leases
跟在这住了几十年的怪人当邻居
next door to eccentrics who've lived here for decades.
从史嘉蕾乔韩森到黑色大理花都有可能
Everyone from Scarlett Johansson to the Black Dahlia.
要是这些墙壁会说话就厉害了
If these walls could talk, wow.
我什么时候能搬进来
Uh, when can I move in?
就是这里 赛丝的公♥寓♥
This is it, Sazz's apartment.
赛丝
Sazz!
赛丝
Sazz!
也许她跟巴库拉去外景拍摄了
You know, maybe she's just away, shooting on location with Bakula.
说的也是
That's right.
我不再担心了
No more worrying.
不当无趣的乌龟
No more un-fun turtle.
来狂欢吧
Let's party.
(《大楼谋杀疑云》)
(今年圣诞节上映)
他们的排场也太大了
Wow, they're laying it on thick.
真的很努力怂恿你签约
Really trying to pressure you to take that deal.
搞什么
Holy shit.
- 伊娃 伊娃 - 看这边
尤金 - 查克 查克 看这边
Eugene! Zach! Zach! Eva, over here!
一起 帮三位一起拍照
查尔斯 奥利佛和梅宝
Charles, Oliver, and Mabel,
他们就是查尔斯 奥利佛和梅宝
this is, well, Charles, Oliver, and Mabel!
我是尤金李维
I'm Eugene Levy?
我是伊娃朗格利亚 - 对
I'm Eva Longoria. - Yeah.
我是...
I'm...
我想说提姆
I wanna say Tim.
我是杰克布莱克
I'm Jack Black.
没错 对
Ah, that's it. Yeah.
我不是杰克布莱克
I'm not Jack Black.
奥利佛 这位是查克葛里芬纳... - 对 查克葛里芬纳尼亚 当然
Oliver, this is Zach Galifi-- - Oh, yes! Zach Galifragilistic, of course.
我知道你在干嘛 老招了
Ha! I see what you're doing.
你想用《双蕨之间》反整我
People do this. You're trying to Between Two Ferns me.
什么之间
Uh, between the whats?
好 听着 我也许不是欲望师奶或富家先生
Okay, look. I might not be a Desperate Housewife or Mr. Schitt's over here,
但我刚好已经开始拍摄
but I happen to have starred in the second-highest-grossing comedy
史上票房♥第二高的喜剧了
of all freaking time!
你是《小鬼当家》那个弟弟吗
Are you the little boy from Home Alone?
他们把你怎么了
What did they do to you!?
我不演了 不干了
I'm out. I'm done.
真是...
That is...
怎么了 - 听着
What? - Listen,
我会批准你的梦想计画
I will greenlight your dream project.
由我主演的《永不妥协》 - 不行
Erin Brockovich, but it's me. - No.
由我主演的《金发尤物》 - 不行
Legally Blonde, but it's me. - No.
由我主演的《蜘蛛人》
Spider-Man, but it's me.
好啦 《永不妥协》
Alright, fine. The Erin Brockovich one.
我回来了
And I'm back.
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