我讨厌苏西（2020）

一切都在这房♥间里
that everything's in the room.
-你想不想... -不 不能走 我们要留下
- Do you wanna maybe, you know... - No, we can't go. We're staying.
好 我要冷死了
Right, well, I'm fucking freezing
因为我在外面待了一个小时
because I've been outside for, like, an hour.
好主意 到床上去
Yeah, good idea. Get into bed...
他以前演过各种浪漫喜剧
You know, he used to be in, like, all of these romantic comedies.
-她讨厌死这些了 -是吗
- She hates all this shit. - Does she?
-不 我不讨厌 -浪漫喜剧 女性电影
- No, I don't. - Rom-coms, chick flicks...
我讨厌这叫法
I hate that they're called that.
总之 他会收到青少年的信
Anyway, he gets letters from teens.
-那是正经的艺术形式 谢谢 -不
- They're a legitimate art form. Thank you very much. - Uh, no.
那是男性鼓吹的 想要说服女性
They are male propaganda trying to convince women
浪漫爱情是她们的责任和欲望
that romantic love is their responsibility and desire,
而实际上只是直男
when actually it's just straight men
想要说服我们 我们需要他们
trying to convince us that we need them.
-等等 -我就说吧
- So, wait... - There she is.
-你能相信吗 -等等 等等
- I mean, can you believe it? - Wait. Wait, wait, wait!
浪漫喜剧是鼓吹 还是爱情才是
So, what, rom-coms are propaganda? Or love is?
两者都是 你像马♥克♥思♥一样扪心自问 谁是受益者
Both. Ask yourself, as Marx did, who benefits?
她都还没有嗑可♥卡♥因♥就这样了
I mean, she...she hasn't even had coke yet, so...
爱情只是让女性把她们个人需求搁置一边的手段
Love is just a way of getting women to put aside their own needs.
好吧 那我的事业就完了
OK, well, that's my career fucked, then,
反正浪漫喜剧也已经
because romantic comedies don't even
不雇用白男演员了
employ white guys anymore anyway.
我的天 这家伙是不是有点混♥蛋♥
Oh, my God. OK. Is this guy a bit of a dick?
-不 他挺好的 我喜欢他 -什么
- No. No, he's fine. I like him. - What?!
谢谢 那个
Thank you. You know, hey, hey,
苏茜说你喜欢女生
so Suz says that you're into girls.
-老天 苏茜 -怎么了 怎么了
- OK. Jesus, Suz. - What? Oh, what?
我们现在是不能说事实了吗
So, we're not allowed facts anymore?
我讨厌你宣传我的双性恋身份
I just hate you, like, pimping my bi.
娜奥米现在生活得很滋润
So, Naomi lives in this great way now
自从她和她前任分手以后
since she...since she broke up with her ex.
-我能称她为你的前任吗 -随便你
- Can I call her your ex? - Call her what you fucking like.
她穿梭于伦敦的各个民宿
So, she goes from, like, Airbnb to Airbnb all over London
好像她在永久度假一样
like she's on this permanent fucking holiday.
永久度假个屁
A permanent fucking holiday
我可是一直在为你工作 亲爱的
where I work for you all the time, babe.
-我爱伦敦 超级爱 -我爱死伦敦了
- I love London. Fucking love it. - I fucking love London!
-很独特 完美无缺 -我真的爱死了
- It is proper. It is the real deal. - I love it.
谢谢 所以你是四处跟人做♥爱♥吗
Thank you. Uh, so, what, you just go everywhere, fuck everyone?
不 双性恋不代表你跟所有人都要睡
No, being bi doesn't mean you sleep with everyone.
只是意味着你可以精挑细选
It just means you can be choosy.
-我愿意睡你 -不 你不愿意 苏茜
- I would fuck you. - Oh, no, you wouldn't, Suz.
那不是双性恋
That's not being bi,
而是一个渴望取悦他人的直女
that is being a straight woman who's too eager to please.
-尴尬 -你看起来不像
- Cringe. - Wow! Not the vibe.
真的不像
Really not the vibe.
没事 因为娜奥米忘了说
It's OK 'cause what Naomi neglects to mention
她之所以选择众包房♥子
is that this whole crowdsourcing-a-home approach
是因为她还在缴房♥贷
is because she still pays the mortgage, right?
不愿意叫她前任搬走
Won't ask her ex to move out
尽管房♥子大部分产权都属于她
even though she owns most of the house.
我们两个人 谁睡在谁家地板
Of the two of us, who is staying on whose fucking floor? Huh?
各位 这是子♥宫♥室 这是子♥宫♥室
Hey, guys, it's the womb room. It's the womb room.
-就像子♥宫♥一样 看那沙发 -她说得对
- It's like a womb. Look at the sofa. - She's right.
-红色的 很暖和 -她说得对
- It's red, it's warm... - She's fucking right.
到底...
I mean, what is gonna...
-拜托 -真的 到底会发生什么
- Come on, man. - Seriously, what is gonna happen?
苏茜 现在不是时候
Suz, now is not the time.
你现在对此无能为力
Hey, there's nothing you can do about this now.
-不 我是说在家和考博 -我知道
- No, at home. With Cob. - I know.
-我们会解决的 -是的 和考博
- We'll sort it. - Yes. With Cob.
我不能走 对吗 我不能走 因为我...
I can't leave, can I? I can't leave because I've...
不 本 因为我...我有个孩子 我有个孩子
No, Ben. Because I've got a... I've got a kid. I've got a kid.
-我有个药柜 -坐下
- I've got a fucking medicine cabinet. - Sit down.
听着 是这样的
OK, listen. OK. This is...this is the thing.
你现在对此无能为力
You cannot do anything about any of this now.
这很重要 我有经验
This is very important. OK, old hand.
不管你做什么 绝对不能搬出你家
So whatever you do, you do not move out of the family home.
我第二任妻子就坑了我 利用监护权
Fucked me with my second wife. And for custody.
我同意 我知道我是伪君子
Yeah, I...I agree. I know I'm a hypocrite.
但你是孩子他妈 房♥子是你买♥♥的
But you're the mother. You bought the house.
-考博得离开 -确实是我买♥♥的
- Cob has to leave. - I did buy the house.
-你知道什么最重要吗 -什么
- You know what is really important? - Yeah?
你等着 最重要的是这个伯明翰可♥卡♥因♥
You wait. See, what is really important is this Birmingham coke.
以及你一定要尝试的特定吸食方式
And the...the very specific way that you must do it.
-是的 -而你 送药的娜奥米还不知道
- There is. - Which you, Naomi with the drugs are unaware of.
-什么方式 -听着 她会在那放松
- Way? - Oh, look, she's gonna chill there.
你 首先你得把裤子脱了
Um, you... Well, first of all, you need to take your pants off.
好烫
It's burning.
这就是你们想要的吗 是吗
Is this what you want?! Is it?!
那我就成全你们 看个够
Well, have it! Have it all!
我达到我的 我完成我的锻炼时间了
I met my... I met my exercise goal!
-我做到了 -这是个很大的成就
- Goal! - Well, that's a big achievement
鉴于你哪都没去
considering you haven't been anywhere.
听着 我在想
Listen, I've been thinking.
我们来看照片和其他东西吧
Let's look at the pictures and everything else.
不 现在不合适
No. Now is not the right time.
让它彻底洗刷我 就像是人生的一部分
Let it wash over me as part of life.
-不 不 -就是的
- No, no. - No, it is.
-我们在监狱里 -现在是享乐时间
- We're in prison. - This is a fun time!
不 现在最棒了
No, this is the best time.
我和让我安心的人在一起
I'm with people that I feel safe with.
就像当你嗑迷幻药的时候...
You know, like when you do LSD...
本杰明 你完全理解
Benjamin, you totally understand...
是的 我理解你们所有人
Yes. Yes. I understand all of ya.
-还有你 -什么
- And you. - Yeah.
自从我们在子♥宫♥里时我们就是朋友了
You've been friends with me since we were in the womb.
现在我们身处子♥宫♥室
We're now... we're now in the womb room.
基本上 我赢了那场选秀比赛
So, basically, I won this, like, talent competition.
当年我15岁 而且...随便吧
Yeah, when I was, like, 15. Yeah. And...whatever.
我父母 他们在...
Like, my parents were just, you know, were into their own...
他们在忙自己的事
They're into their own thing.
娜奥米在准备高考 因为她超他妈聪明
And Naomi was doing her A-Levels because she's fucking smart.
对 我可不是胸大无脑的
Yes. I'm not just a pretty face.
以前是我爸当我的经纪人 然后娜奥米说
It used to be my dad managing me and then Naomi was like,
家 来电
"你不能让陌生人代理你"
"You can't be on some fucking stranger's books."
所以 一开始是我爸 然后...
So, like, first it was my dad and then...
你没在听 尽管我爸...
You're not listening. In spite of my dad...
你...
Are you...
你在摸她吗
Are you touching her?
有可能
Yeah, could be.
这画面太...
This is...
天呐
Oh, my God.
苏茜 苏茜 我好爱你 苏茜
Suzie! Suzie! Oh, I love you, Suzie.
苏茜 我爱你 苏茜
Suzie! I love you, Suzie!
苏茜
Suzie!
那是谁的屌♥ 苏茜
Whose cock is it, Suzie?
我爱你啊 苏茜
I love you, Suzie!
《君在何处》女星丑闻
名人艳照门
苏茜·皮克斯婚姻触礁 但她儿子何去何从
她的秘密情人是谁
苏茜 苏茜
Suzie! Suzie!
那是谁的屌♥ 苏茜
Whose cock is it, Suzie?
别进来 抱歉
怎么 你还生我气了
What, are you pissed off with me?
你拿走了唯一的钥匙 又不接我电♥话♥
You took the only room key, you didn't answer your phone again.
-不好意思 谁让你给他吹♥箫♥ -真令人沮丧
- Sorry. You gave him a blowjob. - It's incredibly frustrating.
-我就吹了六分钟 -我不知道你那时有空说话
- For about six minutes. - I didn't realise you could talk.
如果你喜欢他 我很抱歉
I'm sorry if you liked him.