我讨厌苏西（2020）

Right.
通常我们会有观众提问环节
OK, so usually we do a Q&A format.
但今天 就你我二人谈谈...
I think, today we're just gonna have a conversation between us...
不好 观众暴♥动♥了
Oh, no, the masses are revolting!
他们为了和你说话 排队数小时 布丽娅队长
They've queued for hours to talk to you, Captain Bria.
接受提问吧 你答应过的
Come on, do it. You promised!
提问 提问 提问
Do it! Do it! Do it!
不不 我很喜欢提问环节 真的
Uh, no, no, no. I love Q&A. No, I love Q&A...
我想...
I wanna, you know...
-我想直接和他们对话 -是吗
- I wanna talk directly to them. - Yeah?
我很爱我的粉丝们
You know, I...I love you guys.
太好了
Alright, great! Whoo!
那我们就来提问吧
Uh, let's go to some questions, then.
麦克风在台下某处
The mic's out there somewhere.
那位留胡子的先生
Yeah, guy with the beard.
不 不
Uh, no. Uh, no.
对 你 问吧
Yeah, you. There you go. Yeah.
-你好 苏茜 -你好啊
- Hi, Suzie. - Hello! How are you?
-我喜欢你的上衣 -谢谢 苏茜
- I love your top. - Oh, thank you, Suzie.
在《君在何处》里
In 'Quo Vadis',
你的角色在剧终时死了
your character dies at the end of the series.
但如果她真的死了
But if she did that,
布丽娅队长就无法回到
Captain Bria couldn't go back
我们第一集在飞船上发现她的地方
to where we found her in the first episode on the ship.
如果那发生在另一个维度就说得通
Uh, it would make sense if it was in a different dimension.
是说得通 我也从没停止过那种解读
Yeah, it would. And I've never closed down that reading.
但如果说真心话
But, you know, if I'm, um... if I'm just really honest,
当时我每周只想着
I was just thinking about getting
如何才能挤进那件女式紧身连体裤
into that bloody catsuit every week.
-我是说连体裤 -连体裤 对
- I mean jumpsuit. - Jumpsuit. Yeah.
真巧 你提起那件连体裤 苏茜
Um, well, it is funny you should mention the jumpsuit, Suzie,
正好我们也做了一些小调查
because we did a little research mission of our own.
好
Yep.
我们找到了《君在何处》那件连体裤
And we found the jumpsuit from 'Quo Vadis'.
原始的那件
Yeah, the real one.
-拿出来吧 -不会吧
- So let's bring it out. - You're joking.
来了 就是这件
Here we go. There it is.
-看啊 -真的是当年那件吗
- Look at it. - Is it actually the real one?
对 是从档案馆拿来的真品
It's the real one from the archives, yeah.
需要给你点时间吗
Do you need a moment?
我记得这股味儿
I just remember the smell!
还有很多人要提问
Alright, well, lots of other questions
你先重新熟悉一下你的连体裤
whilst you reacquaint yourself with the jumpsuit.
旁边那位女士
So, uh, yes, the lady on the side.
你好 苏茜
Hi, Suzie.
我听说了照片被盗的事 我很遗憾
Hi. I'm so sorry to hear about those pictures.
这是对个人隐私的侵犯
It's such an invasion of privacy.
我无法想象
I can't even imagine.
但今天看到你来很高兴
But it's great to see you here today.
谢谢你
Thank you so much.
你是如何应付的
So how have you been coping?
这个...
Yeah, um...
-好了 -嗯...
- Yeah. - Yeah...
-我不... -能跳过这个问题吗
- I...I...I don't... - Can we move it along?
这场合不适合聊这个 事实上 我...
I don't really think this is the venue. In fact, I...
-我能... -可以
- Can I just take this... - Yeah.
在开始之前 借此机会...
..moment to...before we get started?
-当然可以 -好的
- Yes, of course you can. - Ok. Um...
那个
So, um...
听着 我想说上周
Look, I just wanted to say that there are...
有一些照片被传到网上
..there were some photos posted online last week,
据说是我的照片
supposedly of me,
在一起大规模黑客事件中被盗取
stolen from me in some mass hack,
我想说的是 虽然我对照片里的人
and I just wanna say that even though I have no issue
正在做的事
with whatever it is that person's
没有任何意见
supposed to be doing in the photo...
但那人不是我 真的
Um, it's not me. No.
我也希望我有那么瘦
I mean, I wish I was that thin.
-那不是假照片 -就是假的
- It's not a fake. - No, it's a fake.
你知道《黑镜》那个剧吗
You know 'Black Mirror'?
这情况就非常"黑镜" 我们都在劫难逃
It's very 'Black Mirror-y'. Whatever. We're all doomed.
总之 我就想解释清楚
Anyway, I just...I just wanted to put that to bed, you know.
我也不知道 今天要说有什么收获的话
And, um, I don't know, if there's anything to take away from today,
就是别对着谎言撸管 孩子们
don't wank to lies, kids.
对 好建议
Yes. Uh, good advice.
谢谢你提问 好了
Yes, thank you for that. Alright, uh...
-抱歉 开黄腔了 -不 没事
- Sorry, that was a bit blue. - No, that's fine.
你说照片里的人不是你 我完全能理解
It's completely understandable you would say it wasn't you,
但照片中还有其他细节能证明
but there are other details in the pictures.
比如你之前经常佩戴的那条项链
Uh, like the necklace you were wearing, uh, for example.
你在其他场合也戴过
I mean, which you've worn it on other occasions.
-我觉得这不... -轮到下个问题
- Yeah, I don't think... - Can we move it along, please?
我只是给你个机会谈论这事
I'm just giving you an opportunity. ..to be talking about this.
这感觉很...
This feels very...
因为照片里的阴♥茎♥是黑人的
Because it is a penis of colour in the pictures...
-老天 -其实我... 天呐
- Jesus! - You know what? I... Oh, my God.
好了 够了
Yeah, OK. That's enough.
是因为这个原因你才努力远离...
Is that the reason why you're trying to distance yourself...
抱歉 我...
Sorry, I was just...
我很好奇我还能不能穿进这件戏服
I was just wondering if I could still fit into this.
是啊 给衣服投保了吗
Yes! Are we insured for that?
我去试穿看看
Well, I guess I'm doing it.
她下台去换上连身裤
Alright, off she goes to change into the jumpsuit.
她很快会回到台上 待会儿见
Very shortly she'll be back. I'll see you in a second.
待会儿见 可能需要点时间 谁知道呢
See you in a second. Maybe a minute. Who knows?
搞毛啊
What the fuck?
换装 换装 换装
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
他们应该赶她出去的
They should just chuck her out.
站直了
Stand up.
-我不是叫你别回答问题 -观众就坐在台下
- I said don't do questions. - They...they just sat there.
等着我回答
They just sat there waiting.
我不能戴这个 会让我恐慌
I can't wear this. It'll make me panic.
-摘掉 -我们会摘下来
- Get it off. - We'll take it off.
能帮我拿着吗 谢谢
Can you take this, please?
你看起来很美 亲爱的
You're looking good, babe.
她来了
Here she is!
抱歉 衣服有点紧
Sorry, it's a bit...it's a bit tight.
我穿上后无法呼吸
I actually can't breathe in this.
我觉得很难为情 下♥体♥都勒出骆驼趾了
I feel really self-conscious that I've got camel toe.
家 来电
-麻烦让一下 -抱歉
- Excuse me. - Sorry.
真抱歉
I'm so sorry.
为什么道歉 你做错了什么
Why? What have you done?
你也是来出♥卖♥♥♥灵魂的吗
Are you here selling your soul too?
那是什么古董手♥机♥ 你不会是毒贩吧
What on earth is that phone? You're not a dealer, are you?
我另一部手♥机♥被警方扣押了
My other phone's in police custody.
请给我精神食粮
Liquid sustenance, please!
你拍过性♥爱♥录像 怎么回事
You made a sex tape? What happened?
其中一个女孩的妈妈发现录像带
So, OK, so...so one of the girls' mums finds the tape
藏在衣柜底部 她翻出来
hidden in the bottom of the wardrobe, she digs it out,
当然就大发雷霆
she, of course, goes fucking ballistic and spare,
然后女孩们否认 说是我强迫她们拍的
and then the girls denied it and said that I forced them to do it
她们根本不想玩三人行
and that they never wanted to do a threesome
虽然她们从头到尾都笑得很开心
even though they were laughing the whole way through.
所以那个妈妈就写信给我的经纪人
And so the mother then wrote to my agent.
我都不记得有听说过这件事
I can't... I don't even remember hearing about that.
那时还没有互联网
Yeah, this is way pre-internet.
最终我给那家人买♥♥了一间温室
I bought the family a conservatory.
温室 操
A conservatory. Fuck.
但你现在难道不担心吗
But don't you... don't you worry about that now?
担心泄露
It coming out?