福是全家福的福（2015）

F is for Family S02E08

Part 3 Nov. 18, 2020, 7:34 p.m.

I like your bong half-full attitude,fellas.
去吧在屋子里四处逛逛
Go ahead,look around the house.
如果要去洗手间的话你们得小心点
Just be careful if you go in the bathroom.
浴盆里有一根假屌♥
There's a hammerhead in the tub.
噢我的天
Oh,man.
噢老天!
Oh,man!
你要不要照个照片可以拿着看个够
Take a picture,it'll last longer.
真的可以吗?
Can I?
不可以!
No!
把你的手从裤兜里伸出来
And take your hand out of your pocket.
维克这些小屁孩是哪...
Vic,who are those little...
噢该死!
Oh,shit!
我就知道你会高兴的!
I knew you'd be happy!
凯文和他的乐队明天会为我们表演几首歌♥曲
Kevin and his band are gonna play a few songs for us tomorrow.
好极了
Great.
我太激动了我得走了
I'm so excited.Yeah.I have to leave.
喔她怎么了?
Hey,wow,what got into her?
我...我怎么知道?
How should I know?
双子座嘛对吧?她明天肯定会高兴的
Geminis,right?She'll be in a good mood tomorrow
因为这个派对绝对会很精彩
because this party's gonna be shit on ice.
这是件好事
That's a good thing.
我那些搞音乐的朋友肯定会喜欢你们的
All my music friends are gonna love you.
这是你们成为超级巨星的第一步
This is your first baby step to superstardom.
真的吗?
Really?
当然是真的
Oh,yeah.
因为当你登上那个舞台的时候他们就会看穿你深入灵魂
'Cause when you take that stage,they will look into your soul
他们也会看到我所看到的东西
and they'll see what I see.
你是纯粹的人你很诚实
You're pure,man.You're honest.
不像那些满嘴胡话的人
Not one ounce of bullshit.
所以明天尽情释放你的光芒吧小凯
So,bring out the light tomorrow,Kev.
给他们看看什么才是真正的摇滚
Show them the truth of rock and roll.
优秀的音乐家都是这样做的而我能感觉到你也有那优秀的内在
That's what all the great ones do,and I feel you've got that greatness in you.
爱你哟兄弟
I love you,buddy.
噢我真想杀了我自己
Oh,I need to kill myself.
别这样做凯文
Don't do it,Kevin.
这世上还有很多值得你活下去的东西
There's so much to live for.
好了我们得快点
Okay,we got to hurry.
送完你之后我还得和你♥爸♥爸去吃午餐
After I drop you off,I'm gonna meet your father for lunch.
噢你们要谈谈那个"大吵一架"吗?
Oh,you're going to talk about "the big fight"?
噢你听见了啊?
Oh,so you heard that?
对啊我刚才听见你在电♥话♥里说的
Yes.I heard you say it on the phone just now,
今天早上我也听见了
and I heard it this morning
还有在教室里在开关于我的会的时候
and in my classroom,in the meeting about me.
我很抱歉宝贝但别担心
I'm sorry,honey,but don't worry.
妈妈和爸爸有时吵架会很大声
Arguing between mommies and daddies sometimes gets loud,
招来警♥察♥
the police show up,
但并不代表我们不爱彼此了
but that doesn't mean we don't love each other.
你现在好受点了吗?
Does that make you feel better?
有
Yeah.
而且爸爸告诉我家里太穷了你们离不起婚
Plus,Daddy told me we're too poor for you guys to get divorced.
你现在好受点了吗?
Does that make you feel better?
看我们到了!
Look at that,we're here!
我们把斯古珀丢到丛林深处去怎么样
How about we drop Scoop deep in the jungle,
公平点让他先跑五秒钟
give him a fair,five-second head start,
然后去追捕他
and then hunt him down?
这是我听过最蠢的主意了!
That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!
不这主意不错! 就像"最危险的游戏"
No,it's good!It's like The Most Dangerous Game.
经典冒险小说,主人公漂流到荒岛上,被岛上的人当作猎物狩猎
你这个笨蛋最危险的游戏明明是古代阿兹特克人打的篮球
You dummy.The most dangerous game was ancient Aztec basketball.
对输的人会被挖出心脏!
That's right.The losers got their hearts ripped out!
嘿伙计们我们现在在讨论些什么鬼东西? 把注意力放在斯古珀身上!
Guys,what the fuck are we talking about?Focus on Scoop!
这不仅关系到我的工作还有我的婚姻
I don't just have my job riding on this,it's my marriage.
苏马上就要给我来一趟回到单身汉生活的旅程
Sue is this close to sending me on a one-way trip to living at the Y.
就是这个一次单程旅行!
That's it!A one-way trip!
这就是怎么摆脱掉斯古珀的方法!
That's how to get rid of Scoop!
我们用飞机把斯古珀送到荒无人烟的地方去
We put Scoop on a plane to the middle of nowhere.
对而且是在我们都特别忙的一天有很多行李等着运送的时候
Yeah.We'll do it on a busy day when there's a lot of luggage moving.
斯古珀不在的话
Without Scoop there,
丹巴顿会把这个部门交给任何一个蠢蛋去管理
Dunbarton will turn the department over to any dumb fuck.
那个蠢蛋就是弗兰克·墨菲
And that dumb fuck's name is Frank Murphy.
我觉得这个计划可行我们有进展了!
I think this plan's taking shape!We're getting somewhere!
先生们为了庆祝
Gentlemen,this calls for a celebration.
谁想看色情小熊对彼此做点羞羞的事?
Who wants to get erect watching robot bears do stuff to each other?
没人想看
Nobody.
那只是你的想法
Speak for yourself
斑马口臭
Zebra breath,
青春痘之屁
zit fart,
青春痘肿瘤
zit tumor.
道歉完毕
End of list.
好吧我最好...
Okay,well,I better...
现在是我说过的会对你妈妈做的事
Now for the things I said I would do to your mom.
在她脚上拉屎
Shit on her feet,
在她尸体上拉屎
shit on her corpse...
吉米真的够了! 我原谅你了!
Jimmy,really,it's enough!I forgive you!
好吧反正在我老爸来接我之前我还得向名单上的其他人道歉
Okay,I have other people on my list to get to anyway before my dad picks me up.
道歉名单
悲伤的老希♥特♥勒♥
南瓜头怂货
我踹过的老师
送牛奶的
悲伤的老希♥特♥勒♥?
Old sad Hitler guy?
你说的是霍登瓦瑟先生?
You mean Mr.Holtenwasser?
我必须为炸了他的邮箱而道歉
I must apologize for blowing up his mailbox.
你不会想跟这个疯老头子说话的
You don't want to talk to that crazy old man.
他只会跟我讲一些胡编的战争故事
All he does is tell made-up stories about the war
还有住在他那条街上的孩子们说了什么
and what kids who live on his street say.
我没得选
I have no choice.
吉米别去!
Jimmy,no,don't go!
我的荣誉准则驱使我去你这个"蛋蛋洗剂"!
My honor code compels me,ball gargler!
抱歉我刚刚叫你"蛋蛋洗剂"
Sorry I called you "ball gargler".
向左
Left.Left.
向左向左
Left,left,left.
艹我死定了!
Shit!I'm dead!
我和弗兰克之间的问题
总是发火
不互相倾听对方
不管发生什么
我和弗兰克之间的问题
总是发火
不互相倾听对方
不管发生什么
你
我和弗兰克之间的问题
总是发火
不互相倾听对方
不管发生什么
你都
我和弗兰克之间的问题
总是发火
不互相倾听对方
不管发生什么
你都是
嘿美女!
Hey,good looking!
你准时到了
You came on time.
当然了我什么时候让你失望过?
Of course I did.When have I ever disappointed you?
好吧其实这点就是我今天希望跟你谈的东西
Well,actually that's what I was hoping we could talk about today.
我做了一个清单...
Now,I made a list of things...
你现在不需要了!
You don't need that now!
一切都解决了!
It's all fixed,honey!
什么?
It's what?
我和珀格还有其他人在性玩具熊披萨店见了面
I met Pogo and the guys at the robot bear sex pizzeria.
他们要帮我把以前的工作弄回来!
They're gonna help me get my old job back!
我们的问题解决了!
Our problems are over!
但我认为我们是来谈谈我们的婚姻的
But I thought we came to talk about our marriage.
我在谈啊你没听懂
I am talking.You're just not listening.
只要我回到了莫西干航♥空♥ 我就不用上夜班了
Once I get back to Mohican,I won't have to work at night anymore.
事情就会像以前一样顺利我们又能愉快的过日子了!
Things will be like they used to be and we'll be happy again!
我那时候也没有多愉快
I wasn't too happy then.
你当时可是高兴的不得了!
You were ecstatic!
我为什么要来这儿?
Why did I even come here?
我为了你打乱了我整天的计划!
I moved my whole day around for you!
我本来要和薇薇安和亨莉埃塔去测试沙拉甩干器的
I could've been with Vivian and Henrietta testing the Salad Tosser.
只要我找回了那份工作
Once I get my job back,