福是全家福的福（2015）

想象如果 你我二人相伴一生
Just imagine,a life with us together,we two
Just Imagine - Brandon Combs
想象如果 我们所幻想的一切都成为现实
Just imagine,all of our dreams coming...
苏!
Sue!
噢 是你啊
Oh,it's you.
Francis是Frank的正式用法,宗教里常用
弗朗西斯
Francis.
抱歉 我只是要见到苏感觉太激动了
Sorry.I'm just excited to see Sue.
我有个重要的消息要告诉你! 苏?
I got big news!Sue?
她也有个重要的消息要告诉你
She's got some big news for you,too.
你这阴阳怪气的什么意思?
What's your problem?
你把马戏蓬放下来的时候把象鼻扭了?
Did you strain your trunk putting up the big top?
噢 你很快就会知道是谁有麻烦了
Oh,you're about to find out who has a problem.
我就知道你是个没用的人
I knew you were no good.
噢 不 是苏要跟我分手吗?
Oh,no.Is Sue gonna break up with me?
不是
No.
她要跟你分手的话六周前就会这样做了
The time to do that would have been about six weeks ago.
只要你一如既往的相信我
Just trust in me
有人在床上订了早餐吗?
Did somebody order breakfast in bed?
没有
No.
但反正我都拿过来了
Well,I brought it anyway.
你为什么像个困惑的狗狗一样看着我?
Why are you looking at me like a confused dog?
我在沙发上睡觉的时候落枕了
I messed up my neck sleeping on the couch,
不过都是我活该
which I completely deserved.
我出汗把垫子打湿了 我就把它翻了过来
I sweated on the cushions,so I flipped them over.
结果另一面都是食物的污渍 我又翻了回来
There was a food stain on the other side,so I flipped them back,
然后我用你的吹风机把它吹干了
and I got rid of the sweat with your hair dryer.
这是你的早餐
And here's your breakfast in bed.
鸡蛋糊和冰冻橙汁
Powdered eggs and frozen orange juice.
反正我只是负责加水 给个亲亲
Just add water...and kisses.
你真好
That's sweet of you.
不不不 是我昨天太混♥蛋♥了 我道歉
No,no,no.I was a jerk yesterday and I'm sorry.
所以我们现在可以和好如初然后过一个愉快的周末
So,now we can move on with a fresh start and have a great weekend.
弗兰克 你不能每次就这样道个歉然后就当做什么都没发生过
Frank,you can't make everything disappear by just saying sorry.
好吧 对不起
Okay.Sorry.
弗兰克
Frank.
我们得好好谈谈昨天发生的事
We have to talk through what happened yesterday,
想想这些不满的情绪都是哪来的
and figure out where all this anger we've been sitting on came from.
噢 我的天
Oh,God.
如果有什么会让我英年早逝的话 那就是做这些屁事了
If anything's gonna lead me to an early grave,it's doing this shit.
如果我们不好好处理的话 事情只会变得更糟
Well,if we don't address this,things will get worse.
才不是呢
That's not true.
我叔叔巴基脚上长了个肿块 他就没处理啊
My uncle Bucky had a growth on his foot,and he didn't address it.
他只需要一天往脚上喷五次醋
All he had to do was spray it with vinegar five times a day
然后改改走路的方式就行了
and change the way he walked.
弗兰克! 我们需要帮助
Frank!We need help.
帕特神父这周末有个伴侣咨♥询♥会在湖边教会举♥行♥
Now,Father Pat has a couples counseling retreat at Lake Communion this weekend.
他们今晚就出发 我要去打电♥话♥给我们报名
They leave tonight.I'm gonna call and sign us up.
老天 苏 你觉得一个神父懂什么婚姻?
Aw,Christ,Sue,what does a priest know about marriage?
他嫁给了上帝
He's married to God.
但上帝是看不见的
God's invisible
上帝只要看到你每周去一次教堂做祷告就会很高兴了
and he's happy as long as you show up once a week to eat his son.
我们的感情出现了问题 我们需要找个人谈谈
You and I are in trouble,and we need to talk to somebody.
我们不需要什么该死的神父!
We don't need a goddamn priest!
噢 好吧 那我们可能需要个精神病医生!
Okay,well,then maybe a psychiatrist!
你觉得我疯了是吗?
Are you saying I'm crazy?
你们又在吵架吗?
Are you fighting again?
没有!
No!
妈妈和我只是在谈点事情
and me are just having a little talk.
你今天还会带我去计算机俱乐部吗?
Are you still taking me to computer club today?
会的 别担心
Yes,don't worry.
看到了吗? 一切都挺好的 我的小公主
See?Everything's fine,princess.
现在快下楼看你的动画片
Now just go downstairs,watch your cartoons,
然后管好你自己的那些操蛋的事情
Mommy and mind your own damn business.
噢 苏 你得带莫琳去计算机俱乐部
Aw,man,Sue.You got to take Maureen,
看来我们没法讨论彼此的感受了
so I guess we can't talk about feelings.
我差点就要敞开心扉了
I was really about to open up,too.
你别想这么轻松地逃过去
You are not getting off that easy.
你和我必须好好讨论下这些事情
You and I have got to talk through all this.
不一定是跟帕特神父谈 但我们今天必须得谈谈
It doesn't have to be Father Pat,but we need to do it today.
苏!
Sue!
午饭的时候来见我
I want you to meet me for lunch
我们来找出问题的根源所在
so we can get to the bottom of this.
我不知道 我有重要的事情要做
I don't know.I've got something important I got to do.
我告诉你什么是重要的事情! 我们的婚姻!
I'll tell you what's important!Our marriage!
至少对我来说很重要!
At least it's important to me!
对我也很重要!
It's important to me!
是吗?
Is it?
是! 我们这该死的婚姻很重要!
Yes!Our goddamn marriage is important!
行了吧! 你满意了?
There!Are you satisfied?
没有! 所以我们得好好谈谈这件事!
No!That's why we have to talk about this!
他们现在早上也开始吵架了
They're starting early today.
是啊
Yeah.
我会调整我的日程 我希望你最好也这样做!
I'm changing my schedule and I expect you to do the same!
好吧 我会的!
Okay,I will!
发誓!
Promise me!
好 我发誓!
Fine,I promise!
看来我们会有个愉快的午餐!
We'll have a lovely lunch!
再好不过了!
Good!
我还会给你买♥♥你喜欢的那个该死的派!
And I'll buy you that fucking pie you like!
现在回到 瓦特家族环球旅行者和闹鬼的夜♥总♥会♥的节目
And now back to The Watts World Travelers and The Haunted Discotheque.
有请特别来宾枪王鲁格!
With special guest star Colt Luger!
真是有弹性的篮球
Great bouncing basketballs,
那艘阴森的飞船上的鬼魂在追我们
the specter of the spooky spaceship is after us,
也包括我 特别来宾 枪王鲁格
including me,special guest star Colt Luger.
伙计 我们不可能在两次运球的情况下突出重围!
Man,we can't double dribble our way out of this one!
他会把我们扣翻的 爆♥炸♥狗!
He's gonna dunk all over us,Afro Dog!
鬼魂?
Ghosteses?
看我的飞毛腿的厉害!
Four feets,don't fail me now!
同样的那盏灯和那张桌子已经重复出现五次了
That same lamp and table have gone by five times.
这个节目真傻♥逼♥
This show is stupid.
你才傻♥逼♥
You're stupid.
纠正一下 我可是个天才
Correction:I'm a genius.
哦你可真聪明 那跟我说说我早餐吃了什么
You're so smart,tell me what I had for breakfast.
现在谁最聪明?
Now who's the smart one?
闭嘴!
Shut up!
没看见我在体会成人的感觉吗?
Can't you see I'm having adult feelings?
你们根本不懂生活究竟是什么
You don't have a clue what life's about.
我走了
I got to go.
凯文 不要坐在窗子上面
Kevin,get out of the window.
你简直降低了这栋房♥子的价值
You're bringing down the property value.
你个混♥蛋♥
Such a dick.
老爸 等下 我有个事想问你
Dad,wait.I got to ask you about something.
我可一句话都没有挖苦你!
I didn't do anything!
不是 听着 老爸
No,Dad,listen...
最近发生了一件事 呃...
Something happened and,um...
现在发生了一件事 你要让我迟到了
Something's happening now.You're making me late.
维克让我们乐队明天在他家的派对表演
Vic asked our band to play this party at his house tomorrow.
这是个千载难逢的机会
It's the chance of a lifetime,but...
凯文 我不会再因为这件事跟你吵架了
Kevin,I'm not gonna fight you on this anymore.
只要你好好完成学业
As long as you get your school work done,
你可以穿个斗篷当精灵王子
you can put on a cape and go be the Elf god
或者随便干什么你想干的屁事
or whatever the hell it is you're trying to do.
老爸 你听我说!
Dad,listen!
这不是关于我乐队的事
It's not about my band.
你懂那种感觉 就是有时候你特别 特别想要什么东西
You know when you really,really want something,right?
而且你没办法不去想它
And you can't stop thinking about it,
但当你得到了的时候 你开始讨厌自己
but then you get it and you hate yourself.
听起来就像是个胖女孩在想冰淇淋一样
You sound like a fat girl talking about ice cream.
我艹! 我根本没法和你正常交流!
God damn it!I can't talk to you about anything!
要我说 去那个派对表演吧! 我没意见!
I said play the party!I'm okay with it!