福是全家福的福（2015）

F is for Family S02E05

Part 4 Nov. 18, 2020, 7:33 p.m.

The Salad Tosser!
你不觉得有点太大了吗?
It's a tad big,don't you think?
是有点大但成品会小得多
Well,obviously,the finished product would be much smaller.
看起来就像是个放在转盘上的洗衣机
It looks like a washing machine on a Lazy Susan.
有点像样机就是这样的但是...
Well,yes,that's what the prototype is,but it...
而且这居然不是塑料做的
It's not even made of plastic.
再说一遍这只是样机
Again,it's a prototype.
来让我演示一下
Look,let me demonstrate.
我可不想做沙拉的时候还得骑自行车
I don't want to have to ride a bike every time I make a salad.
这是样机!
It's a prototype!
看就像洗衣机一样...
See,like a washing machine...
- 啊我的领带!
- 什么玩意儿?
- Ah,my tie!
- What the fuck?
老天!
Jesus!
- 懒惰苏珊? 我看是疯子苏珊吧!
- 疯子苏珊!
- Lazy Susan?More like Crazy Susan!
- Crazy Susan!
真是个垃圾!
What a piece of shit!
我不想当着你的面嘲笑你快转过去
I don't want to laugh in your face.Turn around!
你跑哪儿去了?
Where the hell have you been?
没去哪儿!
Nowhere!
是吗? 晚饭已经做好了
What?Dinner's ready.
噢好的
Oh,okay.
嘿你手上拿的是什么?
Hey.What do you got there?
哦你把你一直攒钱想买♥♥的球棍买♥♥回来了真不错
All right,you bought that stick you been saving for.Good for you.
我明天带你去参加选拔赛
I'll take you to those tryouts tomorrow.
你现在内心的感觉一定是骄傲的
That thing you feel inside is called pride.
每次你拿起这根球棍
Every time you pick up that stick,
你就会有一种成就感
you'll have that same sense of accomplishment
因为只有在你自己才知道这是你挣来的
that only comes from knowing that you earned it.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
还得去地牢里喂我的犯人
I got to go feed my prisoner in the dungeon.
嘿莫扎特典狱长送饭来了
Hey,Mozart.It's the warden.
就算你恨我我还是希望你好好吃饭
Even though you hate me,I still want you to eat.
把门打开
Open the door.
别再生闷气我看你今天表现好还给你加了肉丸子
Come on.I got you extra meatballs for good behavior.
你在哪儿? 凯文? 我的天!
Where are you?Kevin?For Christ's sakes!
集中营大逃亡! 我要去站在聚光灯下!
Out of the Gulag,into the spotlight!
你♥他♥妈♥的给我回来! 我不许你去!
Get the fuck back here!I forbid you!
我的梦想无人可挡!
My dreams are not forbidable!
你这个满口谎话的小杂碎!
You lying little shit!
有其父必有其子!
I learned it from the best!
你给我回来!
You come back here!
我要把你和你的臭嘴砸到墙上去!
I'll put you and your smart mouth through that fucking wall!
你知道你的儿子干了什么吗?
Do you know what your son did?
老天弗兰克
Jesus,Frank.
他公开否认我的权威去参加那场表演
He openly defied my authority and went to that show.
我说过了如果你逼他他会更加反抗的
That's exactly what I said would happen if you pushed him too much.
好我们现在就去那个乌七八糟的音乐会
Well,we're gonna go right down to that seedy concert hall,
把他给拽下台!
and yank his ass right off that stage!
弗兰克我今天已经够糟了
Frank,I've had a horrible day.
我的创意被否决了多谢关心
They shot my proposal down,thank you for asking.
现在我回家还看见我丈夫在邻居面前向我的大儿子扔肉丸子!
And now I have to come home to my husband throwing meatballs at my oldest son in front of the entire fucking neighborhood!
弗兰克·墨菲你要去就自己去把你的儿子带回来
Frank Murphy,you go down there and you get your son.
用不着你教我怎么做!
You don't tell me what to do!
我自己去带他回来!
I'll get him!
我还是有儿子听话的
There's my only living son.
你乖乖地呆在家比尔
You stay good,Bill.
我没教育好你哥但你还是很棒的
I failed your brother,but you're turning out great.
尽快回家!
Be right back!
为什么他们都要从我身边跑开?
Why do they all run from me?
比尔回来!
Bill,come back!
你在干嘛?
What are you doing?
我要把这该死的玩意儿埋起来!
I have to bury this fucking thing!
我偷了东西菲利普! 吉米会杀了我的!
I stole,Phillip!Jimmy's gonna kill me!
我打了一个瘸子!
I beat a cripple!
我的小鸡鸡还觉得特别爽!
And it made my pee-pee feel good!
圣伦纳德罪犯的保护神临产的马和妇女们
St.Leonard,patron saint of criminals,horses and women in labor,
请倾听我的祈祷
please hear my prayer.
请拯救我们于...
Save us from...
不要,老爸,不要!
No,Dad,no!
你这个偷东西的小杂种!
You thieving little shit!
现在开始偷冰球棍了?
Stealing hockey sticks now?
不是我♥干♥的!
It wasn't me!
我用的是我自己的球棍!
I fashion my own sticks!
每次都不是你每次都不是你干的!
Yeah,it's never you!It's never you!
你还跟他说了你的名字!
You told him your name!
可能天主教军事学校能把你教好!
Maybe Catholic military school will finally straighten you out!
不要! 不要啊!
No!No!No!
可怜的吉米
Poor Jimmy.
让他去死吧他走了我们自♥由♥了!
Fuck Jimmy.He's gone.We're free!
你以为你穿个披风就跑的了吗?
Yeah,you think you can escape me 'cause you're wearing a cape?
你就想的这么简单? 你根本不懂你在跟谁作对! 让开!
Is that what you think?You don't know who you're dealing with!Move it!
我们是"莫林的眼镜"组合!
We are Merlin's Monocle!
谁?
Who?
莫林早就死了!
Merlin died!
哦孩子
Oh,Kevin.
嘿台上那是我的孩子
Hey,that's my kid up there.
她是个美人儿
She's a real looker.
谢谢你帮我们安排这场演出芭比·埃丝特
Thanks for getting us the gig,Bubbie Esther.
什么?
What?
好了就这样吧谢谢大家
Okay,I guess that's it.Thank you.
噢该死
Oh,fuck me.
我看起来有多傻♥逼♥?
How much shit am I in?
我本来打算惩罚你的但是看了演出结束的时候
Well,I was planning on grounding you,but after seeing the end of your show,
我觉得你可能已经被惩罚了
I think you might've been punished enough.
根本没人来看我们的演出我可画了五千张宣传♥单♥!
Nobody came to see us.And I drew five thousand flyers!
这不是我梦想中的样子
This isn't how I dreamed it would be.
所以梦想只能是梦想啊
That's why they're called dreams.
因为它们都是虚无缥缈的不是吗?
Because they're not real.Right?
嗯
Yeah.
你现在明白我为什么老是唠叨着让你在学校好好学习了吗?
You see now why I'm harping on you to study in school?
明白为什么我让你现实一点了吗?
Why you got to be realistic?
我猜你可能说得对
I guess.You're right.
看吧你尽了自己最大努力尝试然后你失败了
So,you know,you did your best,you tried hard and you failed.
但失败并不可耻
And there's no shame in striking out.
让你明白现在音乐并不能带给你什么也是一件好事
It's a good thing you learned that music won't get you anywhere now.
你还是有时间让自己的生活好转起来
There's still time to turn your life around.
你回去好好学习我们会给你请个家教
You'll hit the books,we'll get you a tutor.
我们还会给你买♥♥那个你一直想要的眼镜
We'll even get you those eyeglasses you keep saying you need.
然后你就会开始...
And you'll be on your way to...
我的天你们简直太棒了!
Oh,my God,you guys rocked!
- 真的吗?
- 真的吗?
- Really?
- Really?
我真高兴我今天来看了我的爷爷因为你们的表演太酷了!
I'm so glad I came to visit my grandpa,because your show was bitching!
谢谢还行吧
Thanks.We were okay.
我搞砸了自己最后十分钟的单人演出.
I screwed up the last ten minutes of my solo.
呃...老爸你能回避一下吗
Uh...Dad,can you...um...
好吧完事以后赶快回家
It's fine.Go home after this.
我还得去上班
I got to go to work.
好的
Okay.
嘿不知道你感不感兴趣我在自己家帮别人剪头发
Hey,I don't know if you're interested,but I cut hair at my house.
想过来换个发型吗?
Want to come over sometime for a haircut?
那太好了也行吧
That'd be cool.Or whatever.
谢谢你!
Thank you so much!
星期四放学后过来
Come over Thursday after school.
好的
Okay.
那个小妞是谁?
Who's that chick?
她就是那个剪发女
That was Haircut Girl.
哦这不可能
No way.
她是存在的!
She exists!
我终于要破处了!