叫我凯特（2021）

这是我的胶囊衣橱
That's my capsule wardrobe.
15件衣物就有47种搭配
15 items of clothing that can be worn 47 different ways.
我开猫咖时需要省钱
I needed to save money when I opened the café.
是啊 女人最吸引男人的一点
Yeah. And the number one thing men are attracted to
就是节俭
in a woman is thriftiness.
那样的话 不给小费的丹尼尔
Well, in that case, Daniel "No Tipper"
就会因为我的衣柜欲♥火♥焚身
would be super turned on by my closet right now.
就算是他也不该遭此下场
I would not wish that guy on my worst enemy.
实际上 他是活该
Actually, I would.
也许我该撮合他和西恩娜
Maybe I should set him up with Sienna.
今晚似乎很适合穿绿色裤套装
This seems like the perfect night for my green pantsuit.
麦克斯不是在塔拉的婚礼上见过你这身了吗
What-- Didn't Max just see you in that at Tara's wedding?
是啊 但是 好吧
Yes, but-- Fine.
我要穿我最爱的紧身裤
I'll wear my favorite leggings.
我肯定不会看到你穿上一条
Now I know I am not about to watch you put on a pair of leggings
刚从脏衣篮里拿出来的紧身裤 对吧
you just pulled out of the dirty laundry hamper, am I?
别装正经了 你做过的
Oh, come on, you've done it.
你也做过 我们都做过
And you've done it. We've all done it.
随你便 但告诉你一下
You do you, but just so you know,
有只袜子粘在屁♥股♥上了
there's a sock stuck to the butt.
差点就丢死人了
Well, that would've been awkward.
好了 你们知道规则
All right, you know how it works.
报名参加 轮到你时
Sign up for a spot, and when it's your turn,
你就上来表演
you come on up and show us what you got.
这里是安全空间
Now, this is a safe space.
但如果你表现很烂 我就会摇铃
But if you suck, I'm gonna ring this bell,
那时候你最好离开钢琴
and you better back away from the piano
滚下舞台
and get your ass off the stage.
好了 让我们热烈欢迎
All right, let's give a warm welcome
惠特沃思姐妹和小安迪
to the Whitworth sisters and Little Andy.
酒吧里能养狗吗
Can you have a dog in a bar?
猫咖里能养猫吗
Can you have a cat in a café?
说得好
Touché.
我给我们报了最后一名上场
So, I signed us up for the end.
我们肯定可以惊艳全场
I feel confident we can really bring it home.
我稍后跟别人约好了喝酒
I'm supposed to meet someone for a drink later.
能换到中间吗
Do you think you could move us up to the middle?
可以啊 你要跟谁见面
Oh, sure. Who you meeting?
就是跟一个赛道解说员有个约会
Just got a date with a track announcer.
不会吧 你超喜欢那种技能的
No way. You love that skill set.
你是不是有一点嫉妒
Are you sensing a little jealousy?
因为我感觉到了一点嫉妒
'Cause I'm sensing a little jealousy.
对了 我做了我们的表演清单
By the way, I made us a set list.
你为什么不跟同伴商量 就出了表演清单
Why did you make a set list without consulting your partner?
因为我知道我的同伴会喜欢我的清单
Because I knew my partner would like my set list.
都是我们以前的拿手曲目
It's our old standbys.
但也许你的同伴想自己设计个单子
But maybe your partner made her own set list.
所以即便我的同伴是受我邀请的
So even though my partner was invited by me,
-她还以为她说了算 -我们这是在第一次吵架吗
- she thinks she's in charge? - Are we having our first fight?
我们第一次吵架是争论吃披萨还是印度料理
Our first fight was pizza versus Indian food.
我们当时没法在披萨店关门前赶到的
We couldn't have made it to the pizza place before they closed.
如果你当时左转了而不是右转 我们能赶到的
If you'd have made a left instead of a right, we could have.
那条路是单行道
It was a one-way street.
那段不是
Not that section of it.
-再来一杯 -好啊 为什么不呢
- One more? - You know, why not?
以前我喝一杯马蒂就不让我喝了
Marty used to cut me off after one
因为太多酒精会让我夜里盗汗
because too much alcohol gives me night sweats.
但他已经不在我身边了 不会被"弄湿"
But he's not around to get wet anymore.
我很遗憾 你们什么时候分手的
I'm sorry to hear that. When did you guys break up?
-四个月前 -感同身受
- Four months ago. - I feel you man.
我周四刚拿到了离婚协议
I just got my divorce papers Thursday.
简直是晴天霹雳
Hit me like a ton of bricks.
保佑你
Mm, bless your heart.
她总是说 "你从不在我身边
She was always like, "You're never around.
你每天晚上都去那家酒吧"
You're out at that bar every night."
因为我是开酒吧的啊
Because I own a bar.
你在酒吧遇见我时就知道了啊
You knew that when you met me in the bar.
马蒂恰恰相反
Marty was the opposite.
他总是说 "你哪都不想去"
He used to say, "You don't want to go anywhere."
但我喜欢待在家 照顾花♥园♥
But I like being home and tending to my garden.
而且我不能离开我的酸面团
And I cannot be away from my sourdough starter
超过十二小时
for longer than 12 hours.
你得喂饱那头野兽
You got to feed the beast.
说得太对了
You got to feed the beast.
-谢谢 -谢谢你
- Thank you. - Thank you.
我认识那家伙 他给你小费了吗 卡特
Hey, hey, I know that guy. Did he tip you, Carter?
不是吧 哥们
Aw, come on, man.
不好意思
Uh, excuse me.
我以为你只是不给我小费呢
I thought it was just me you didn't tip.
我以为那是故意吸引我的小把戏
I thought it was some weird little dance that we were doing.
但你不给我朋友小费的时候
But when you don't tip my friends,
我需要一个解释
I require an explanation.
不给小费又不犯法
It's not illegal not to tip.
把购物车留在停车场也不犯法
It's also not illegal to leave your shopping cart
但那也让我火冒三丈
in the parking lot, but that really fires me up, too.
你是个有激♥情♥的人
You're a passionate person.
而你是个高大上的律师
And you're a fancy lawyer.
我知道是因为我从信♥用♥卡♥看到了你的名字
I know that 'cause I got your name from your credit card
查了查你
and looked your ass up.
所以你是那种过得很好还很抠的人 是吧
So you're one of those well-off cheapskates, huh?
我不给小费是有原因的 想听听吗
I have a reason for not tipping. Want to hear it?
是因为你妈是从欧洲来的
Was it because your mommy's from Europe
他们那没这个习俗吗
and they don't tip there?
因为给小费会助长性骚扰的风气
Because tipping fosters sexual harassment,
反映并加剧种族歧视
reflects and amplifies racial discrimination
让生意人不好好履行
and allows businesses to off-load the burden
付足报酬的责任
of paying workers a fair wage.
你知道小费还会助长什么吗
Well, do you know what else tipping fosters?
我美丽的奶泡艺术 而你永远没机会见了
My beautiful foam art that you will never see,
里面包括两只猫抱着颗心
which includes two cats holding a heart
还有一只爷爷猫坐在彩虹前
and a grandpa cat sitting in front of a rainbow.
你知道它是爷爷 因为它抽着烟斗
And you know he's a grandpa because he's smoking a pipe.
所以你们那上咖啡才这么慢吗
Huh. So, that's why it takes forever to get a coffee.
如果你想要快的 自己在家冲
Well, if you want fast coffee, make it at home.
那有什么意思
Well, what's the fun in that?
亲爱的 只有我这么想吗 还是你得来根烟
Honey, is it just me, or do you need a cigarette?
干得好
Yeah! Good job.
我们一定得请你回来 好了
We'll have to bring you back. All right.
你们可能认出接下来的演出者了
You might recognize this next guy.
他是我们的酒保
All right, he's our bartender.
虽然他是我的好朋友
And just because he's my good friend
但不代表我不会摇铃
doesn't mean I won't ring this bell
轰他下台
and throw his ass off the stage.
好了 掌声欢迎
All right? Let's welcome
凯特·希尔沃[银]和麦克斯·金伯德[鸟]Kat Silver and Max Kingbird,
也就是银鸟组合
aka Silver Bird!
好了
All right.
你们今晚还好吗
How you all doing tonight?
知道吗
You know...
麦克斯和我一起上的路易斯维尔大学
Max and I went to college together at U of L.
冲啊红雀队
Go, Cards!
麦克斯和我刚重新取得联♥系♥
Max and I are just reconnecting after,
在我们分开十年之后 他之前在国外工作
oh, about ten years apart. He was working overseas.
麦克斯 在你去过的那么多地方当中
Max, of all the places you traveled to,
你最爱的是哪里
what would you say is your favorite?
我得说是巴黎
I would have to say Paris.
俊男靓女 酥脆的牛角包
Beautiful people, flaky croissants,
法语听着也特别优美
and the language is so beautiful,
你几乎不会注意到法国人嘴里的烟味
you hardly notice the cigarette breath.
不知道巴黎现在是几点
I wonder what time it is in Paris right now.
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