非典型少年（2017）

我是山姆 山姆·加德纳
Hi, it's Sam, Sam Gardner.
现在是星期一四点 我们定好的治疗时间
It's Monday at four o'clock, our scheduled appointment time.
我不知道该怎么办 所以决定打电♥话♥过来
I didn't know what to do, so I decided to call.
现在4点01分了
Now it's 4:01.
我们要是今天能治疗的话
Today, if we had a session,
我会跟你说 我完全搞不懂佩姬
I would tell you that I'm very confused about Paige
因为在冰屋里发生的事
because of what happened in the igloo.
然后你就会告诉我要怎么做
Then you'd tell me what to do.
总是就是佩姬帮我手♥淫♥了
Anyway, Paige gave me a hand-job,
但她现在都不肯跟我牵手
but now she won't even hold hands with me.
手♥淫♥是指一个女孩...
A hand-job is when a girl--
我是山姆 山姆·加德纳
Hi, it's Sam, Sam Gardner?
我今天吃了火鸡三明治 面包很不新鲜
I had a plain turkey sandwich today that had very stale bread,
我也没有水助消化
and I had nothing to wash it down with.
这顿饭吃得很气人
It was an aggravating lunch.
我还被车撞了
Also, I got hit by a car.
车开得很慢 所以我没事 先这样
It was slow moving, so I'm fine. Okay.
茱莉娅 我是罗尔德·阿蒙森
Hi, Julia, it's Roald Amundsen.
没错
That's correct.
正是本人
The Roald Amundsen,
第一位成功抵达南极点的那位
who led the first successful expedition to the South Pole.
很明显 伙计
Obviously, buddy.
这真是...
That's...
抱歉 我不是罗尔德·阿蒙森
Sorry, it's not Roald Amundsen.
我是你以前的病人山姆·加德纳
It's Sam Gardner, your former client?
-真没猜到呢 -我在练习说谎
- No kidding. - I'm practicing lying.
你知道大学申请不赞成写跟胸有关的内容吗
Did you know colleges frown on application essays about boobs?
好看的胸也不行 先这样
Even very nice ones. Okay.
下周再见
I'll see you next week. Okay?
我是山姆·加德纳 也就是山姆
Hi, it's Sam Gardner, AKA Sam.
我几天前第一次留宿在别人的龙穴里了
I had my first sleepover the other night in the Dragon's Lair.
那是扎希德的卧室名
That's what Zahid calls his bedroom.
之后我在街上被警♥察♥抓了
And later I was apprehended by the police on the street.
他们以为我在吸毒
They thought I was using drugs.
好
Okay.
山姆
Sam.
非♥典♥型孤独
第二季 第七集
了解自己的长处是生存的关键
Knowing your strengths is key to surviving.
小鱼因其体型细小而擅长躲藏
A minnow is tiny and good at hiding.
但如果它觉得自己体型庞大
But if a minnow thought it was huge
想和白鲸硬碰硬的话
and tried to face off against, say...
那它的好日子就算到头了
a beluga whale, that would be the end of that minnow.
烤饼义卖♥♥
佩姬
Hi, Paige.
先生您好
Hello, sir.
请问有想买♥♥的烘培品吗
Can I interest you in a baked good?
我在为离校礼物筹钱
I'm raising money for the senior gift.
我正活在鲍登学院候补名单的炼狱里
I'm in purgatory right now on the waitlist for Bowdoin, so...
我常会说 "别哭 勇敢飞吧"
as I always say, "Don't cry, just fly."
-好吧 -要来点胡萝卜蛋糕吗
- Okay. - Cool, you want carrot cake?
小胡萝卜做的 你绝对尝得出味道不同
They're made from baby carrots, you can totally tell the difference.
我和我妈花了一整晚才做出来的
My mom and I stayed up almost all night making them.
但一点都不抢手
They're not a hit.
你的离校礼物是什么
What's the senior gift?
你这是在无意透露你没看我发的那些邮件
He asks, inadvertently admitting to not reading any of my emails.
没关系 是个水耕花♥园♥
It's all good. It's a hydroponic garden.
我四岁就开始学园艺了 我治疗师建议的
I started gardening when I was four, my therapist suggested it.
-好的 -我看到一个改过自新的瘾君子
- Okay. - And I found a reformed drug man
在分类广♥告♥网上卖♥♥ 只要四千块
selling his on Craigslist for only $4,000, so...
佩姬 我是来这跟你说
Paige, I came here to tell you that,
在警♥察♥局成功度过一晚之后
after having successfully spent a night in the police station,
我有信心陪你参加高年级合住
I feel confident that I can come with you to the senior lock-in,
-看住你 以防你梦游 -真的吗
- and observe you in case you sleepwalk. - Really?
是的 至少能陪到12点07分
Yes. At least unti 12:07.
我再努努力多陪你一分钟
I may be able to push it to 12:08.
山姆 这太棒了 谢谢你
Sam, that's amazing. Thank you.
我真觉得我们能
I really feel like we're able to successfully
发展柏拉图式感情
move our relationship to a platonic place.
你刚刚说到了警♥察♥局
Did you say the police station?
是的 糖霜饼干多少钱
Yes, how much are the sugar cookies?
你的话 50美分 朋友
For you? Fifty cents, friend.
你就只需要...
Well, that's only...
再卖♥♥7999份就能买♥♥到水景花♥园♥了
7,999 more sales and you'll have your water garden.
没错
Yep.
我一直在想山姆进警♥察♥局的事
So I've been thinking about the stuff with Sam and the police...
我也是 挥之不去
Yeah, me too. It's all I can think about.
这孩子肯定吓坏了
The kid must have been terrified.
是啊
Yeah, I know.
我写了一份措辞严厉的电邮草稿
So, I drafted a really strongly worded email
准备发给局长
to the chief of police,
和我能想到的所有重要人物
and every other important person that I could think of,
包括奥普拉
including Oprah.
你还真打算发给奥普拉
Wait, you really included Oprah?
当然 她神通广大
Of course, she can do anything.
-但我转念一想 -说
- But, then, I had another thought. - Okay.
这次你来处理怎么样
What if you handled it?
-是吗 -你毕竟是现场急救员
- Yeah? - Well, I mean you're a first responder.
你认识那些警♥察♥ 也了解山姆
You get these guys and you get Sam.
等等 你在请我帮忙处理山姆的事
Wait. So you're asking me to help out with Sam stuff?
没错 我是在拜托你处理山姆的事
Yep. I'm asking you to help out with Sam stuff.
你肯定会做得比我好
You'll do it better than I can.
我只是...
I'm just, I'm...
我只是不想重蹈覆辙
I'm trying not to make the same mistakes,
以为什么事都要自己扛
and think I have to do everything by myself.
我在努力
I'm trying.
这真是...
I think it's...
这是个好主意
I think it's a good idea.
-是吗 -是的
- Yeah? - Yeah.
很好
Good.
-待会见 -再见
- I'll see you later. - See you later.
-在给我写爱的小纸条吗 -小伊
- Did you write me a love note? - Oh, hey, Izz.
那是什么
What is that?
晚点再看吧
You know, maybe later.
-给我看看 -不
- Let me see it. - No.
-我没写什么 -给我
- It's not anything. - Give it to me.
-是空白的 -我就爱看空白的东西
- It's nothing, really. - I want to read nothing. I love nothing.
我最喜欢空白了
Nothing's my favorite.
真是
Please...
我本想当面跟你说的 是我太胆小
I was going to tell you in person, but I chickened out.
所以我就写了下来
So I wrote it. Obviously.
-你跟内特接吻了 -是他强吻我
- You and Nate kissed? - No, he kissed me.
-那个混♥蛋♥ -我知道
- That asshole. - I know.
我不敢相信他居然这样
I can't believe he did that.
我要杀了他
I'm going to kill him.
我们要不出去谈谈
Do you want to go talk about it?
不了
Nope.
我想一个人静静
I just need time to think.
对不起 我不擅长这个
Sorry, I'm not good at this.
是啊
Yeah.
那我们就来聊点擅长的吧
Let's talk about what we're good at.
这周布置的作业是列出自己的长处
Our homework this week was to make a list of all our strengths.
谁来读一读
Who wants to read their list?
-山姆 说吧 -太好了
- Sam, go for it. - Yes.
长处 我很会叠T恤 毛衣就算了
Strengths: I'm great at folding t-shirts, but not sweaters.
我从不会忘记给爱迪生喂食
I never, ever forget to feed Edison.
我差不多知道
I know pretty much everything
所有南极企鹅的相关知识
there is to know about every species of Antarctic penguin.
-我很会跳舞 -证明一下
- I'm a great dancer. - Prove it.
诺艾尔 他可以不跳...
Noelle, he doesn't have to-- Oh!
他开跳了
There he goes.
跳起来吧