非典型少年（2017）

即使非常短暂
"And even though it was way, way too short,
但这是我永远的成就
it's an accomplishment that will stay with me forever."
不行
No.
-什么 -山姆
- What? - Sam,
你不能在大学申请上
you can't write your college essay
写看到一个外国舞蹈家的胸部
about seeing an exotic dancer's boobies.
为什么 他们问我最伟大的成就
Why not? They asked about my greatest accomplishments.
这是我最大的成就之一
That's one of my greatest accomplishments.
你说你不参加任何课外活动
You say you don't do any extracurriculars
因为太拥挤了
because they're too crowded,
你申请不上体育课
and you opted out of PE
因为运动短裤会卡在你屁♥股♥上
because the mesh shorts ride up your butt.
为什么
Why?
因为这是真的
Because it's true.
好吧 在这种情况下 真♥相♥并不重要
Okay, well, in this case, true is less important than appropriate.
好吗 他们只是想了解你 山姆
Okay? They just wanna hear about you, Sam.
你是谁 什么能激发你
Who you are, what makes you tick.
你的自闭症呢
What about your autism?
怎么了
What about it?
你为什么不写呢
Well, why don't you write about that?
你成绩很好
I mean, you get good grades,
从事同一份工作已有一年多了
you've had the same job for over a year.
对患有自闭症的人来说 这是很大的成就
Those are major accomplishments for anyone with ASD.
我认识一半的正常人都做不到
I mean, half the neurotypicals I know can't even do that.
你是个成功的人 山姆
You're a real success story, Sam.
不
No.
-不 -自闭症不算成就
- No? - Autism isn't an accomplishment.
这是我生来就有的东西
It's something I was born with.
你不会写一篇文章
You wouldn't write an essay
关于十个手指和十个脚趾 好吗
about having ten fingers and ten toes, would you?
不 因为那真的 真的很愚蠢
No, because that would be really, really, really, really dumb.
所以我还是写胸部
So I'll stick with the boobs.
再想想 伙计
Take another crack at it, buddy.
再想想 什么意思
Take another crack at it? What does that even mean?
太疯狂了 我不知道该怎么做
This is crazy. I don't know how to do this.
所以我必须重写申请
So now I have to redo my entire essay
即使我只是
even though all I ever did...
伊兹
奎恩在找
-那我该怎么改呢 -我看看
- So how am I supposed to change that? - Let me see.
是的 这是垃圾 有趣 但是垃圾
Yeah, this is garbage. It's fun, but it's garbage.
什么 为什么
What? Why?
你太老实了
You're being too honest.
你必须说他们想听的话
You gotta... tell 'em what they want to hear.
你得撒谎 伙计
You gotta lie, dude.
我不能说谎 我不擅长 我不喜欢
I can't lie. I'm bad at it and I don't like it.
有什么意义
What's the point?
假设 如果你不喜欢你的老板
Well, Imagine if you didn't like your boss at work.
我喜欢 我喜欢鲍伯
I do. I like Bob.
我知道 所以我说假设
I know, that's why I said "imagine."
如果你撒谎 假装喜欢 就没事了
If you lie and pretend that you like them, you're fine.
但是如果你告诉他们真♥相♥
But if you tell them the truth,
就会被解雇 你买♥♥不起食物
you get fired, you can't afford food,
还会在施食处因为插队而被捅
and you get shanked for cutting in line at the soup kitchen.
然后你就死了
And then you die.
-很有道理 -有时你得撒谎才能过得去
- That does make sense. - Sometimes you have to lie to get by.
就像北极熊幼崽会遮住黑鼻子
Oh, like how a polar bear cub will cover its black nose
与雪融为一体 去捕猎海豹
to blend in with the snow when it's trying to hunt a seal.
是的
Yeah, sure.
说谎是一种重要的生存技能
What I'm saying is that lying is an important survival skill,
就像用燧石点火一样
like using a flint to light a fire.
-这我也不会 -伙计 没那么难
- I can't do that either. - Oh, dude, it's not that hard.
-真的吗 -我不知道 我骗你的
- Really? - I don't know. It was a lie.
-多容易 -是的
- Do you see how easy that was? - Yes.
你真的擅长说谎
You're really good at lying.
我都是从黑魔王身上学到的
I learned everything I know from the Dark Lord herself.
妈妈
Mom.
-山姆 你还好吗 -是的
- Sam. Are you okay? - Yep.
我需要学会说谎 你是最会说谎的人
I need to learn how to lie, and you're the biggest liar I know.
非♥典♥型孤独
第二季 第四集
我不敢相信惠特克女士会让你
I just can't believe Ms. Whitaker would tell you to lie
在大学申请时说谎
on your college essay.
她没有 事实上 是凯西想的好主意
She didn't. It was actually Casey who had the excellent idea.
当然了
Oh, of course it was.
亲爱的 别理你妹的馊主意
Um, look, sweetie, regardless of your sister's terrible advice,
撒谎是不对的
it is never okay to lie.
谎言会滚雪球
Lies tend to snowball and...
越滚越大
one leads to another...
然后就让你深陷其中
and before you know it, you are so deep in a hole,
几乎无法自拔
it's almost impossible to dig yourself back out.
好吧
Okay.
第一 自己挖出洞
Number one: the idea of digging yourself
很荒谬
out of a hole is ridiculous.
你挖得越多 就陷得越深
The more you dig, the deeper you get.
是 你说得对 怎么会有这种表达
Yeah. You're right. How did that ever become an expression?
第二 你很会说谎 你一直撒谎
And number two: you're a good liar. I mean, you lie all the time.
你出轨的时候 整个生活都是谎言
Your whole life was a lie when you were cheating on Dad.
亲爱的 我
Sweetie, I...
我不为自己的行为感到骄傲
I'm not proud of my behavior.
我只希望你能从我的错误中吸取教训 然后
And I just hope that you'll learn from my mistakes, and that...
成为比我更好的人
you'll be a better person than I've been.
当然 这是显而易见的
Yes, of course, that's obvious.
但这对我没有帮助
But that's unhelpful to me now.
好的 再见
Okay. Bye.
凯西
Casey!
你好啊 你没事吧
What's up? Are you okay?
我这75个小时都在补微积分学前课
Yeah. I've just been doing precalc for the last 75 hours.
但除此之外 我很好 怎么了
But other than that, I'm good. Why?
你当时很醉
I mean, you were really drunk.
你没因为我告诉你妈妈而生我的气吧
You're not mad at me for telling your mom, are you?
-我不知道该怎么办 -不 我明白
- I didn't know what to do. - No, I get it.
如果你打电♥话♥给我妈 我就杀了你
If you call my mom, I'll kill you.
如果你打电♥话♥给我爸 他会杀了你
If you call my dad, he'll kill you.
是啊 你♥爸♥爸是搞医疗方面的
Yeah. Your dad is in the medical field,
他处理尸体非常容易
so it'd be very easy for him to dispose of a body.
-你没惹上麻烦吧 -严格来说 我被禁足了
- You didn't get in trouble, did you? - Technically, I'm grounded.
但是我妈妈不住在这里了
But my mom doesn't live here anymore
我爸爸不知道 所以
and my dad doesn't know about it so...
在下次家庭危机出现前
I think I'm just gonna fly under the radar
还是低调点吧
until the next family crisis,
应该不会很久
which shouldn't be too long.
我玩手♥机♥时发现
So I was looking at my phone,
你那天晚上拍了几张自♥拍♥
and it looks like you took a few selfies the other night.
是吗
I did?
-是的 你必须删掉 -我已经删了
- Oh, I did! You have to delete those. - I already did.
但它们永远在我的脑海里
But they will always be in my brain.
我的上帝
Oh, my God.
我都想起来了
It's all coming back to me now.
对不起 我再也无法直视你的眼睛了
I'm sorry, but I will never be able to look you in the eyes again.
我爱你 但永别吧
I love you, but this is goodbye forever.
真讨厌
Such a bummer.
我还希望你能再大声唱那些营歌♥给我听呢
I was hoping you'd sing those camp songs to me again really loud.
天哪 闭嘴
Oh, my God, stop.
*三松营*
*Camp Three Pines*
*你永远是我的*
*You'll always be mine*
不
No!
我叠好你的衬衫 但我没碰内衣
I folded your shirts, but I'm not touching the under stuff.
好吗 如果是蕾丝的 就是凯西的
Okay? If it's lacy, it's Casey.
-我编的 -谢谢
- I just made that up. - Thanks.
好的
Okay.
爸爸
Hey, Dad.